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I know it’s pitiful for me asking for help but idk what to do. Ever since I did something bad like a few months ago (check my recent post for backstory!if you want) I felt so much guilt and then started looking back at my past and feeling guilty about that stuff then I started thinking what if I s@d my 4yr old cousin or 2 yr old cousin and it feels real like it actually happened like I actually remember it but I can’t remember it if that makes sense and I’ve never been diagnosed with ocd which makes it scarier I’m starting to think I did do that I mean the thought feels like it’s on the tip of my nose if I keep searching it’ll appear in my memory. I felt so much guilt and fear of what will happen if it turned out true I tried to commit by doing 0v3rd0se but it only made my memory fuzzy of what happened when I was overdosing and it made my guilt worse cause my cousins were over and my thoughts amplified since I barely remember what happened my mind told me I probably s@d them when I was overdosing (this was yesterday) and it sucks cause I can’t ask my baby cousins if I did or not they probably don’t remember at all or even thought it was bad what if I traumatized them what if they commit cocsa because of me I’m a monster.

My brain is obsessed with the idea that my dad could get cancer so I keep praying that he won't. This is what my prayer looks like: - 'finish praying within 15 minutes, or else ur dad will die' (this I think on purpose because it used to twke 3 hours) - then i begin the same prayer I do every night - then I reach the 'god please help my dad not to do develop cancer bit' and I realize I need to go down and pray 60 times that he won't because earlier I did this and got distracted so I need to go down again and did it properly. I ended up doing it like 300 times because I lost my train of thought - then I come back up and all of a sudden I'm convinced that this is the night where God will help my dad to never develop cancer - so I pray well and I go to the symbol of God in my brother's room and my brain thinks 'pray another 4 ti s here, and only 4 times on your dad's life' because otherwiee it would be like 300 again. I get really scared I'm about to do it more than 4 so I rush the last 2 and come back feelinf super guilty that it's rushed and I come back trying to redo it -when I finally come back to my room I tell myself to pray the next 4 slowly so God knows I am devoted to him. My brain starts wondering to a movie I watched- a literal romantic one on purpose and it keeps disrupting my prayer and when I think of what will feel right to fix it, it's another 60 times of doing the prayer slowly- not even rushed like downstairs. I've done it slowly but still got distracted so now I need to do it another 100 times. Even this post my brain convinced me that if I reach for help when they scan my dad on his appointment it will come up with cancer instead of something non life threatening so I better just do everything properly until his appointment. It's flared up so much and I don't know what to do- I don't even know if I have OCD Also this is a really long post so I am sorry if you had to read all of that

I know I have had good days and even months, but I always have a relapse. I feel like I will never be “normal” or have a “normal” life. I am constantly lost in my compulsions. Every day I wake up and worry about what I did, what I felt, or what I thought. My family tells me to be stronger, but I am trying so hard. Does anyone else go through the same thing?

Does anyone else get worse OCD symptoms (for me it’s my obsessive and intrusive thoughts, my two big ones that i struggle with). These thoughts seem to bother me so much more the few days before my period and throughout it and it feels like clockwork that is slowly gets better as time goes on. This week was so bad. Some of the worst. I have nearly made life altering decisions that I would not normally make due to these thoughts that feel so real at the time. It is hard to work on them since they are really bad for about a week every month. I cannot explain it very well. I have obsessive thoughts often but on my period they become extremely debilitating. please does anyone else have this. PS i’m 21 and have had issues with my period and my doctors think i may have endometriosis so idk if my period and hormones are just awful and the reason for this.

Hey all, I was recently diagnosed with OCD and MDD a few months ago. I’ve been experiencing symptoms for the past 11 months though. I used to be a person who would downplay depression, reasoning that if someone is depressed, they should be able to snap out of it. This year has taught me the truth behind how debilitating mental health conditions can be. My OCD has been absolutely tearing my life apart. For the past year, I’ve been coping with excessive guilt over past and recurring mistakes, my anxiety of which has recently been causing me panic attacks and throbbing headaches. I’ve also been coping with feeling unnatural sexual attractions, to those of the same sex and to children, which contradict the values I hold at heart. At one point, even simply shaking someone’s hand would cause sexual arousal, due to my hyper-vigilance surrounding physical contact. My OCD and depression nearly led me to take my life a few months ago. There are no words to describe the amount of pain I’ve had to endure. My thoughts and feelings have been absolutely tearing my life down, bit by bit. I feel like I lost who I was, and like it’s impossible for me to know who I am. This isn’t me. Over the past couple weeks, I’ve been feeling constant sexual arousal, it’s so easily triggered now. I don’t know if it’s because of the OCD, if it’s a result of the SSRI I’m on, or if it’s just a product of me being a young adult—Or maybe a combination of all of the above, but it’s debilitating. How easily I get aroused causes me so much guilt. There is a girl in my life that I love, but it doesn’t help that I get aroused around her because of the simplest of things. It’s not what I want for us. I want to be able to hone in on my self-control. I can’t help but constantly compare who I am now to who I was just over a year ago. My happiness has suffered, and my endurance is draining. I know there is a long road of insight and recovery ahead of me, this is just the beginning. If there’s anyone who can relate to me in any way, feel free to let me know. Comfort begins with feeling understood.

Theres so many effed up things i’ve done or said in the past which still bother me to this day. One day i’ll have one obsession, like ROCD over being scared i’m cheating on my partner, then another day i’ll have POCD because of a past experience with an underaged friend, and im just so burnt out from all the thoughts and overthinking. I feel like the most horrible person each and every single day, a constant urge to confess, a constant feeling like im a traitor, and then thinking im just using OCD as an excuse for everything. Im so SICK OF IT ALL. I can’t catch a break. There’s too much going on in my head, like this constant rumination and analysis and then compulsions to search up these obsessions. However searching up things relating to it is probably the most harmful and worst mistake for me, because then I see stories of allegations e.g like dream being exposed for grooming a minor and people exposing others for other vile acts and it just triggers me so much, because it feels like I BELONG on there but never in my life would i actually want to do such things, and if everyone knew what i did then i feel like everyone would agree i quite literally deserved to be burned at the stake. Should i just get a therapist at this point or can i get through this myself with the use of some mental gymnastics like i’ve been doing the entire time? I feel too much guilt, it’s eating me up alive.

Hi, I just joined this app. I have OCD, I’ve been diagnosed for 7 years. I’m 18 years old, and live with my parents. One of my most prominent compulsions is to confess everything to my mom. We have a very close relationship, which makes it difficult to not confess to her about random things my brain makes me think I need to. It’s not like she makes me tell her everything, it’s my brain that does. That stupid little OCDemon that makes me feel incapable of having any privacy. Anyways what I’m getting to is the fact there are things I don’t want to share with my mom, because I don’t want to scare her. Which brings me to why I’m writing this. I was hanging out with my friends in the back of on of their trucks. We were parked on the side of the road. About a block down there is a strip of city life, but back where we were it was quite dormant, minus a few passerby’s. I should also mention none of us were drinking or smoking, we were just chatting, nothing else. Around midnight this lady walks up to the truck absolutely hammered drunk. My friend, trying to asses the situation says hi. She responds with a “hi” but then pulls her phone out and starts recording us. Again we were literally just talking to each other, nothing else. She begins to creep in closer and that’s when we all disperse and get into my friends car. The whole thing was pretty scary and I was convinced we’d be safe because one of my friend is 6”2 and a man. But it was still an extremely uncomfortable situation. Anyway I’m writing this because I feel this compulsion to tell my mom about this experience, but I don’t feel there is a need to do so, because it would only scare her. Granted, I’ve learned my lesson and will never be in that part of town, at night, outside regardless of who I’m with. So I feel there is no need to tell her, but my OCD makes me feel I have to tell her. What would you do in this situation? Or do you think this is just the OCD talking?

i get anxiety attacks for everything ugh i hate it!!!😕just now i got anxiety over accounts i blocked in my tik tok and im overthinking why i blocked them in the first place and wondering if they said anything to me for me to block them :( even though i know i never talked to those accounts i keep overthinking it’s so tiring :( my anxiety doesn’t let me be calm

Will there ever be a pint in my life where I can completely feel free of OCD and be semi normal?

What helps when u can't stop an obsessive thought from Occuring?

What does it mean if you are not always bothered by every single intrusive thought?? Because sometimes I have them and don’t even feel disgusted, and I don’t always try to get rid of them. Not because I want them but idk I feel guilty for not trying to get them out

Hello everyone. I have posted a couple of times let me explain before I get into it. Two years ago, I started having panic attacks due to the fact I was having major guilt about things I did as a child, sexual things. Completely ashamed of it and now I know as a young adult it was wrong of me. Later on, I started having intrusive thoughts about harming my boyfriend. It literally scared me SO SO bad that’s when I started having panic attacks. Because if I did those things as a kid am I gonna do something bad? Like I completely lost myself, felt like I didn’t know ME anymore and I was so scared. Sometimes I still get like that. During that time, my boyfriend was not sober and it was traumatizing. He’s been a year sober now and we’re doing really great. Last year we moved in with his parents, his parent’s are alcoholic and not that fun kind. There is constantly screaming in the house, a month ago his mom was so trashed that she bashed her head open and I had to call 911 in the middle of the night. This past month, my anxiety has been worse, my thoughts are rambling again, I want to move back to my parents because we cannot afford rent in the area we live right now plus with me paying out of pocket for school. Work has been very stressful, I’m a certified nursing assistant In a nursing home. If you ever worked there you know how it goes, it’s very stressful. I can’t seem to manage my stress, my thoughts. I’m rambling because I feel alone and unsure how to help myself. Im already on medicine and it was working very well for me until a month ago. Any comforting words or tips would forever appreciated it.

Like just chilling having a good day then you start searching inside for something wrong something you done in the past or you start making things up just to lead you in failure

Hello, my wife has OCD and is having swirling / respective thoughts about our dog (whom we’ve had for 8 months). The dog is a runner and has run away a couple of times. We have installed an invisible fence that now has the dog very timid to use our back yard. My wife feels suffocated that we have to walk our dog for exercise and bathroom activities. She obsesses over the invisible fence, situations of finding someone to care for the dog when we go away, fear of him running away, and the activity of having to walk him every day. We have handled all of these situations pretty seamlessly but she continues to obsess and seek reassurance. She has threatened to get rid of the dog (who is truly a love). Her panic and mental breakdowns, irrational scenario thoughts, continued “but” statements to solutions, and continued need to talk is hurting the family. This is not the first situation - there have been many obsessions since moving into this new house, including the house, the move, a paved driveway, hardwood floors, and more. There is always an irrational obsession - it’s really adversely affecting the family. Any thoughts / support would be much appreciated.

Hi, everyone. I'm new here. I was diagnosed with OCD in 2021, during the height of COVID. Ever since I was little, I had struggled with my brain latching tightly onto disturbing thoughts and feeling intense emotions relating to them. However, during the height of the pandemic, my stress levels were off the charts, and this caused my OCD symptoms to get worse. I decided to get tested and do research as a result. I briefly had a really good OCD therapist, but my changing insurance situation meant I had to find another. I've struggled to find one in my area who actually specializes in OCD treatment, although therapy has still helped me with other things. I did briefly have a therapist who was very unhelpful, which scared me off from therapy for a bit, but I'm trying again now. My sibling has been immensely helpful during my journey with OCD. They have been so supportive during all of this and have talked me through many intense OCD episodes. I also appreciate that they've researched OCD to figure out what are and aren't healthy ways to support me. I am deeply grateful to them.

Hi I’m new here for about 8 months now I have had this it all started after my friends made me take a gay test and I got gay and I started having anxiety and bad intrusive thoughts and images they really bothered me a lot and I had lots of anxiety I have lost attraction to girls fully like my mind every time I see a girl is pretty it feels like I’m lying to myself I constantly now stare at guys and their butts or gronial area and my mind everytime goes oh that guy is hot or cute I’m also 16 so I’m really confused on whether this is ocd or not before this all happened I never questioned I always had girlfriends never thought of a man like that also when I say to myself I’m not gay this little area in my stomach says your gay and also my head says your gay but I don’t know if this is intrusive or not so someone please help I don’t know if this is Denial or not

so recently i’ve got into a relationship with someone who i love dearly and deeply care about but my OCD has now latched onto consent and boundaries, also i have a massive fear of “what if i pressure her or make her feel pressured” wether unintentionally or intentionally, ive been compulsively asking chat GPT about consent, boundaries and that kind of thing, and im so scared, i would never want my girlfriend to feel uncomfortable, i’ve told her about this and i said how scared i am about it but ive told her that if i ever do please tell me, but what if she doesn’t because she’s worried if i spiral? i’ve told her though if i ever do please let me know, also before our first kiss i keep going over everything that was said or that i did, and im so scared that what if i made her feel pressured or anything, i asked her afterwards and she said not at all but im still scared. I don’t want this to ruin our relationship, also another fear is “what if i miss one of her non verbal cues of her being uncomfortable or something like that. also before we kissed i asked her are you sure like 5 times and she said yes she wanted to, but then i told chatGPT about it and it said i could of pressured her by asking that, i know i shouldn’t if told chatGPT and im trying to stop, but this is so overwhelming for me, like what if i said something that made her feel pressured? obviously i would never intentionally do that, but im really scared to be intimate with her. and even if we are just holding hands or hugging my OCD says im doing something wrong, i truly can’t tell if im overthinking it or not, and, im just posting this to see if anyone can relate or share some advice because im truly stuck and feel like im going to pass out with the stress, guilt and anxiety, im so scared.

can ANYONE see this post??? I don’t know if my posts keep getting removed or something because I still see them but don’t know if people can. if that’s true, then that sucks. but if people did see them & no one replied, I’m going to think I’m an actual evil person and will have to take action to game over myself. I don’t know if this post will be removed bc I tried to censor/reword what I wanna say. someone please, for fucks sake reply if u can see this. I feel like I’m going crazy

What do you all do when u have tried your tools and techniques and the panic has lasted for hours????

In my previous post i explained how due to my disgusting thoughts and feelings i have stopped engaging with the things i used to love such as my nice clothes, music, tv shows etc… This is because 1. i believe i dont deserve to enjoy these things and 2. i dont want them to be tainted by my terrible thoughts and feelings. Anyways, this has caused me to abandon a lot of the things i’ve received from people or i bought myself, Like a new JC tracksuit or a brand new camera i got for my birthday. I haven’t used these since my birthday (jun 7th) because i am terrified of ruining them. They’re infact my most prized possessions and my mum believe i hate them, im ungrateful and that i love wasting peoples money. I don’t. i just cant tell her why i don’t wear my nice clothes or branded fancy shoes because she wont believe me. I sound insane even trying to explain my behaviours rn. i hate the way i live. I don’t wanna be like this but i don’t wanna ruin my favourite things either. This rule applies to everything in my life. Oh as a side rule, once i ‘poison’ something i cant use it again. Recently i’ve been trying to break out of this habit by coming back to the things i once ‘poisoned’ but it makes me feel the same dirty way i did when i tainted it. It brings back all the bad memories and the things remains tainted forever. I fucking wish i could enjoy everything like i used to but i can’t. Its so difficult and i just feel like shit for it. I feel guilty about making my loved ones ‘waste’ their money and i don’t wanna be like this anymore. I haven’t listened to my favourite songs in months. I’ve been rotting in the same clothes for god knows how long and i haven’t been myself in a long time. The more i live like this the further i feel the things i love slip away, leaving me terrified of ever going back to engaging with them because they’ll get poisoned. I’m sorry if this post makes no sense but i just can’t deal with my mum making me feel so guilty all the time. I can barely speak about my feelings on here to people who understand and can sympathise with me let alone my mum who has no real idea how i feel and thinks my ‘ocd’ was a phase when i was 12 and just some joke.