Soocd or denial

@Ifiknewthen Uhm the thoughts when they first started were very annoying and intrusive and had like images that bothered me and they wouldn’t go away and lots of anxiety so if I may ask what do u think I have

@pepsidude I just ask cause its seems like soocd is such a popular thing for people to jump on nowadays because of the growing understanding and marketing of ocd treatment. I have no idea what anyone has just talking to someone on here. I just look at all this sexual orientation obsession stuff as silly. Its ridiculous. Just accept the possibility you may enjoy sex with men and women. Tell yourself who cares. Go out and date women and have a blast. Stop looking at sexual attraction as such a black and white issue.

@Ifiknewthen It’s just annoying cause I was never like this before

@pepsidude Mine was caused by internet porn lol. Im a lot better now. So trust me, just relax. Dont let it make you anxious and all that craziness. But of course they would want you to go through therapy of whatever kind-erp, etc all that shit

@Ifiknewthen How long did it take you to feel better

@Ifiknewthen And should I do erp?

@pepsidude Absolutely you should do erp. Its proven to work. It will be difficult because they will ask you to engage in difficult exposure. And over time your anxiety will lessen. You cant avoid the things you fear. You have to take them on. Like a bully. You have to go against your nature and your nature is to protect yourself, to kill your anxiety. Instead you need to increase the anxiety. Sit with it month after month. It takes a long time. You have to stick with a therapist. Dont get defensive with them. Took me several months. Eventually i didnt care anymore who i wanted to have sex with. I certainly prefer women but i dont get all panicky if some real effeminate man turns me on. I couldnt care less lol.

@pepsidude Key is to accept the thought as a thought, you only give it meaning by reacting to it. Once you keep focusing on things, it’ll consume your thoughts and make you believe you are indeed something you’re not which isn’t going to help you at all. From what I’ve learned so far because I’ve been through some shiiii with my cousin in the past and now I gotta deal with this type of ocd stuff too, children do things that you may thing you like but isn’t really you. Ocd in your subconscious mind, is using your past against you, creating these memories and intrusive thoughts. There is a difference between sexual attraction and false attraction, huge difference. Sexual attraction is when you’re attracted to someone male,female, etc with excitement. False attraction is when you feel “butterflies or groinal feelings” but you’re very scared, have anxiety, a rapid heartbeat. Now once you have it for a while, you might get emotionally numb to these thoughts and that causes you to be confused and have doubts. If you’re straight, accepting being gay isn’t going to make you feel better because you aren’t gay (trust me, if you were, this wouldn’t bother you and you wouldn’t be on here). You need to accept the thought as a thought. It has no meaning, if you find a guy “attractive” maybe you just think he looks cool but you’re obsessing over it. Once you calm down, and look back, you’ll realize that you’re just in your head. take a break from your mind, try erp and find that these thoughts aren’t you or something. You’ll go back to how you wanna feel. Maybe you’re depressed and don’t know how to feel, depression makes this a lot worse for people and I understand. Tell yourself maybe, maybe not but stay true to how you truly feel. Most people struggling with this because you’re so afraid. False attraction feels so real but trust me, you’ll get through this. You were a kid bro, you didn’t really know what you wanted until now.

@Sonic259 If all happend After my friends made me take a test

@Sonic259 Just so fucking annoying feels like I’m never going to be myself loving girls and liking them again it’s really concerning

@pepsidude I know I understand, you’ll get there trust. Give erp a chance

@pepsidude You’ve been struggling for about 8 months now, It can make you feel like you're not yourself due to the constant anxiety and intrusive thoughts it brings. It can affect your self-perception and how you interact with others. Remember, these changes are a result of the disorder and not a reflection of your true self. Seeking support from a mental health professional can help you manage symptoms and work towards feeling more like yourself again. Try erp

@Ifiknewthen You have ocd but you’re asking people why they think they have ocd… it’s not a fun thing that people just decide. And as someone with ocd you shouldn’t be comparing your story to make him feel less than

@Justmesadly Real affff, not everyone is the same, this guy actually doesn’t wanna be gay, that’s why he struggled for so long because he is willing to stand for what he believes in. I’m pretty much the sameway tbh, it’s a struggle but we will overcome this

@Sonic259 I guess one thing that would help us is if theres case studies of people who have defeated soocd and are no longer suffering. Because my ocd therapist used to say erp is evidenced based therapy thats been proven to cure people.

@Sonic259 Many people come on here and want to talk about their anxiety and get resassurance that everything is going to be ok. But they arent doing extensive exposure and response prevention with an ocd trained therapist. They want the anxiety to just go away without doing the hard work.

@Sonic259 It’s just the fact that 9 months already and if hasn’t gotten better maybe besides the thoughts not annoying me but that also confuses me cause their not like bothering me and this all got triggered over a gay test never questioned my sexuality ever now I’m just looking at guys now and mind going oh he’s hot etc like it feels like I’m lying to myself that I’m straight and I feel gay

@pepsidude And also I’m scared I got misdiagnosed with ocd and that I’m just in denial or I do have ocd but it’s not about this topic and that I’m in denial

@pepsidude Have you always had anxiety since childhood around different stuff? Whats your history. Have you been diagnosed with ocd by a profressional? How did you find this NOCD app? I think a lot of people on here just assume since someone is on here then they must have ocd.

@Ifiknewthen I was obessed about dying and that gave me anxiety and yes I have been diagnosed with ocd from a professional and I found noocd on a ocd YouTube video

@pepsidude Well so as to not make the mistakes that i made and suffer like i suffered, stick with an ocd therapist and be honest about all the stuff you worry about and all the stuff you do to decrease your anxiety. And do what they tell you to do. It wont be easy but if you follow the gameplan you will get better over time. Coming onto this app and talking to others isnt going to make you better. Psychotherapy and erp and whatnot with a licensed therapist is what will make you better. And quite frankly, a lot of people dont want to do that.

@pepsidude And everyones situation is unique. So spending a lot of time with your therapist is paramount.

@Ifiknewthen Just want to get better man I thought like eventually it would go away on its own but it hasn’t

@pepsidude Just get with an experienced therapist and be honest with them about everything.

@Ifiknewthen Its the fear that holds people back from treatment. Thats what screwed me up and delayed my getting better. Its hard to talk about the things that bother ocd patients because sometimes its sexual or just plain odd. But thats the main problem holding people back from getting better.

@pepsidude When i first went to an ocd specialist i didnt want to bring up the soocd. It was such an uncomfortable discussion. We talked about everything but that lol. He even brought up the fact that some people suffer from gay ocd as he called it then. This was 2017. And i still didnt want to admit it. Because it felt so opposite of who i truly was. And so i ended up continuing to suffer for a few more years. Its like i had the winning lottery ticket in my hand but refused to cash it in.

@Ifiknewthen Question man if you do have this ocd does that mean I’m not gay

@Zappo Whenever you talk to ocd therapists its funny because they will always challenge your desire to need to know answers to questions. They want to expose you to the content of your fear and for you to not engage in anything to neutralize that fear. Like they would tell you to watch gay porn, go on gay chat rooms, go to gay bars, etc and sit with the anxiety and dont try to do anything to neutralize. Right now you are hoping i tell you you arent gay and you are straight as an arrow lol. And you would feel good for a bit but then something would happen to question your sexual orientation again and then the cycle continues lol. Around and around we go.

@Zappo Like a hoarder. The pile of crap just keeps getting higher and higher lol.

@Ifiknewthen The thing is I don’t get anxiety over gay porn etc it just doesn’t turn me on but I still have the thoughts

@Ifiknewthen Ocd is fucking miserable

@Ifiknewthen Question are you recovering a bit?

@Zappo Fully recovered. Doesnt bother me a bit. Ask me anything you want.

@Ifiknewthen How long did it take you

@Ifiknewthen And question did you lose attraction to women and stare at dudes and did your mind go oh that guy is hot or cute etc

@Zappo Nah i guess for me my case may be different. Mine was caused by gay porn. I got excited by it so i started having panic attacks like oh my god does that mean im gay or bisexual. I had never before found other men attractive in the least. So i guess it attacked my masculinity. So i would do compulsions to prove i was straight and the ocd cycle went around and around. I would have panic attacks. So i basically did research on my own for ocd. So i just kept watching gay porn and not engaging in compulsions to tell myself i didnt like it or prove i was straight. I just got to the point where it didnt cause me any more anxiety. Like i can tell myself yeah i may enjoy sex with another dude idk i havent tried it yet lol. I can sit here and talk about this without any anxiety. I live with the uncertainty of not knowing. I never went to a gay bar but i just kinda go ehh id rather go to a strip club with a bunch of beautiful women lol. But no in my case i have never found other men cute or sexy. I mean i could lol. See its the whole living with uncertainty exposure.

@Zappo Took me like a year or so

@Zappo But if not for gay porn i would have been fine. I would not be talking about this right now. Thats my case. I dont know what an expert would say about that. I was so afraid to talk to the ocd therapist about that. I lied.