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i don’t think i have ocd, i have no idea what my compulsions are or if i even do any. the stuff that used to help me doesn’t work anymore, the more i searched the more it was convincing me that i was. each time i’d talk to my mum about it all when she’d reassure me i’d just automatically feel like everything i was saying was a lie and that i left parts out so she didn’t think differently of me. this is all so much, someone told me that noticing what your compulsions are helps a lot but i don’t know what mine are or if i even have them. if i don’t have it that will mean all these thoughts are probably really who i am and all the stuff ive been convinced ive done in the past is true. when i first started taking medication it was really bad, i felt like i needed to die. i’d research about p’s or their behaviours or go on quora and stuff to see the answer to my questions, at first it reassured me that i was nothing like those people but the stuff people would say abt their experiences would go through my head over and over again. my mind was constantly repeating comments i had read. i stopped reading because it didn’t help me but now the damage has been done and i know all of this stuff about people that i don’t want to know. it would help me knowing p’s didn’t get a groinal response from a name or a simple word which reassured me but now i don’t get that anymore and im searching for that because it was the thing i relied on the most. it’s made me feel disgusting for even looking for that feeling. when i first used reddit and this app every time o saw something i related to i would screenshot it and read over it to remind myself that other people are going through the exact same things as me but now i just feel like because ive read so much about it, i’ve convinced myself i do have ocd to cover up that im a bad person. i don’t feel worthy enough to receive help or even be happy because im probably just convincing myself i do have it.

i rlly need some people to relate to and feel normal bcs i cant tell if this is my ocd or if ive just lost feelings for my bf. which i do not want at all. at first i realized i cant tell if texting him updates of my day and telling him about my life was becoming a compulsion bcs i felt myself losing the urge to do it which already made me feel guilty and bad. so i started texting less and then i basically gave into my ocd i think bcs now i text him less and we havent hung out in a while and i don't feel the feeling that i miss him even tho i want to and i don't feel anything lovey dovey over text like how i used to. i genuinely feel numb like nothing and completely disconnected and disassociated. and i hate this feeling idk if it means ive completely lost feelings bcs just last week i was doing great with him and we have been together for a while now. idk how this happens but it feels awful and im struggling to tell if its my ocd or not or if its even normal to feel this numb bcs even i cycle through disconnection a lot but i don't think it's ever gotten this bad. is it because i gave into my ocd or is it not my ocd at all? can someone give advice/relate

While I was only recently diagnosed with OCD, stress, anxiety and depression (about a month now), I had started ERP here but found that I needed something more intensive and asked to be discharged. One of the main reason why is that I’m not in a headspace where I can properly devote focus to it as my intrusive thoughts never stop being so distracting that trying to get rid of them takes up the vast majority of my focus. The other is that going through the process of attempting to rank my OCD triggers I experience on a daily basis (which is everything I experience on a daily basis) has opened wounds from both old and recent parts of my life that I did not know I had. My ERP therapist at the time before I was discharged had given me some outside referrals prior and even though they are in person, it’s still only two meetings per week for an hour at a time which simply is not enough. I couldn’t get a meeting with a psychiatrist regarding medications or more intensive therapy until the 15th, but my primary physician has given me antidepressants for the in between. I wanted to ask if anyone had ever been referred any organization and/or facility that does do daily OCD therapy for extensive periods of time? I’m tired of living in a constant state of stress every minute of ever day (it hasn’t stopped ever for many years) and I need to focus all my attention on dealing with this because of how much it’s consumed every facet of my life at this point. I know ERP is part of that process but I need different kinds of therapy before I can really get to work on that.

I've been in the middle of a bad OCD flare up recently. It makes me super tired with the compulsions and anxiety and everything. I have times where I literally feel like i can't get out of bed. This morning I went back to sleep, because I just needed the thoughts to stop for awhile, I was just tired. I also have an eating disorder, and sadly appetite and energy to eat is one of the first things to go when I'm down. I guess this is more of a depression question, than an OCD question. But does anyone else expoernce this? And if so, how do you handle it? I'm feeling a bit frightened if I'm being honest.

The fear: I’m not good enough The obsession: my pastors righteousness The compulsion: trying to prove his unrighteousness The story: my wife and I got kicked off the worship team because we were arguing a lot, it’s a lot better now but it’s still not where I’d like it… the pastor who kicked us off is guilty of adultery and in my state that’s even a felony. I’m feeling not good enough because I’m not righteous enough to serve but I haven’t committed adultery… there’s a major conflict here. To make matters worse, my wife picked sides with the pastor, even after I begged him to at least let her serve on the worship team as I self deprecated to prove that she is blameless and that I should be the only one to suffer this punishment. This all happened in January, now it’s July and I’m having a hard time still… Help! I just want these thoughts to go away and leave me alone… I can’t prove his unrighteousness, everyone knows about it and they like him more than me because I’m some sort of OCD freak to them, or maybe that’s just the OCD talking… help!

It’s been days but my brain still chooses not to function and it drives me crazy it’s been AGES AND erp is still not working is this thing even remotely a challenge for ocd?

These past weeks I’ve made phenomenal steps toward fighting back my OCD , I’ve either stopped having thoughts or minimized them and I’ve been able to focus on other things. However, last night I randomly started obsessing over one of my triggers and then I had this terrible disgusting dream about another one of my triggers. I used to tell myself “well as long as I don’t have dreams about it then it’s fine” well I just had a dream and now I feel sick to my stomach to the point of nausea. I made all this progress with my OCD and now it’s back again, I just want to cry, well I already am, but this is too much. This is like a sick joke

I have been feeling off lately ever since I got a new temporary jib through the agency. I was cleaning and had a housekeeping job, I took the job because I was desperate. Anyways, An ugly lady I don't like bumped into me with my arms / - shoulders and my mind can't get rid of this intrusive thoughts I'm so annoyed with myself. The only thing that will help me is get a massage. I've been depressed since I my thoughts are reminding me of this and I unfortunately do not have a lot of money to get a massage right now. Since I can't solve my problem at the moment I have felt/fallen into a deep depression and I have no more energy because of it and my thoughts. As well as financial anxiety. Uggg! FUCK! I hate having ocd. It's driving me nuts! Also, that since my thoughts are also thinking that the germs are getting everywhere. My mind is going nuts and my ocd has been acting up a lot. I'm also tired of life. I also have been having a bit of a negative mindset thanks to my fogged up mind and depression thanks to all of this. I really hate people with moles. Sorry it just grosses me out and fucks up my mindset when somebody I don't like bumps into me. Help! I need advice!

If I don’t think like “if I don’t do this in 8s my family will die” is it still ocd? I still will say if I don’t do it in 8s it doesn’t feel right but I never think stuff like my family will die or something. Is it still ocd? Help lol

Hey ! Does anyone think that intrusive thoughts are sinful? Does god punish us for our bad thoughts ?

When I was 12 I made one of the biggest mistake in my entire life. Last night, my brain decided to replay that feeling over and over again to the point of starting to hate myself for it. Now I can't stop thinking that I need to be punished for it, I should never be forgiven and that I am a bad person. My partner should break up with me because I am a bad person and they don't know about it so I don't deserve to be loved at all. I know, however, that I made that mistake a long time ago, that I am a completely different person and that I am a good person now, and that's what matters. But I can't get myself to forgive my past self because if I forgive him, that means I'm a bad person for condoning what I did. Do you have any advice on how to overcome this? Thank you in advance

This may make somebody uncomfortable. I’m just gonna be completely honest since I’ve been keeping it to myself for SO long and it’s starting to eat me alive. I’m so scared of having a fart fetish. This theme is so disgusting to me which is why it’s so hard to talk about. It terrifies me. I personally don’t like the smell of them. And as a compulsion, whenever someone farts around me, I have to check myself to see if I enjoy the fart. I would smell it just to see if my intrusive thoughts are true. Whenever I get a groinal response it freaks me out so much. What makes this even more complicated is the fact that I’ve watched scat porn back when I had a porn addiction. My porn addiction was escalating, which is why I watched that sort of porn. I know that I would never engage in anything that has to do with urine or feces in real life because it disgusts me. Why is that I know for a fact that I’m NOT attracted to urine or feces, but dont know if im attracted to farting or not. I feel so sick writing this. I also have some childhood experiences relating to farting which stresses me out even more, and fetishes always start out in childhood. And today I stressed myself out even more by reading Reddit stories of people who have this fetish and their stories made me feel gross. I definitely don’t mean to kink shame but I don’t want to be that kind of person. I don’t want to have any of these kinks. I no longer watch porn, thanks to God. But I also wonder that if I had not been exposed to scat porn or porn in general, would I be fantasizing about people farting on me..?? Like I know I don’t like farting because I always get angry whenever people fart around me. But for some reason I don’t hate the smell of my own farts. I just don’t know what to do. And im scared that if I were to ever do anything fart related in a sexual context (which I don’t plan on doing) that I would enjoy it. It’s honestly my biggest fear and my brain keeps telling me that the only reason that I don’t plan on doing it is because im scared to enjoy it. I really wish I could get therapy in the moment but I can’t. This theme has been DESTROYING my life. And I keep having false or real?? Memories of me getting turned on by a family members fart which absolutely disgusts me because that’s literally incest. I have been losing my mind for the last two months. Any replies or anyone that I can talk to about this privately would be greatly appreciated. I just can’t keep suffering in silence anymore. I’m so mentally tired. I’m exhausted.

i’m starting ERP on tuesday. These thoughts are truly scaring me into thinking i’m going to do something and i don’t want too. it makes me feel like im going crazy and i have no control. i can’t stop panicking im scared im not going to get better even tho every time i have my spiral i do, i just feel this way in the moment. is there any tips from people who have SOCD that can help me. I feel like i have had to isolate myself from any object that i feel my thoughts would tell me something to do with it. I’m also started having more depression from this too. What medications have helped with OCD for yall??

NSFW One of my compulsions is m-sturbation and I struggle with it here and there. Literally most of the time this compulsion is done is to get rid of groinal responses or the intrusive thoughts. but the compulsion itself is bad, and sometimes I think of really bad taboo thoughts and it gets me to finish but afterwards i feel very disgusted and shameful. i think these thoughts because i noticed they get me to finish way faster and im trying to look for a solution. i hate this so much because i know its wrong and i know it gives me temporary relief but thats the only “immediate” solution i guess. i feel like this makes me different. like something is ACTUALLY wrong with me. the taboo ranges from family, animals, trauma. how do i get out of this cycle. i feel disgusting and i feel as though this compulsion means im more likely to act this stuff out.

Not good. My mom and I used to have like a mental link but now she can’t really figure out what’s on my mind after my blow up. I had a choice, to regulate and do my best to figure things out it may have been difficult but it was technically the easier way since nothing bad would happen to anybody. But I chose to just let it all loose and tell my entire family everything on my mind. All thoughts anything really. Not true thoughts thou not really me I think I just let anything that disturbed me come into the light which was most likely not even true not me just a thought or stuff I already knew the answer to and so my thoughts were also untrue. I put myself in a space where I could just be comforted to let loose and I did. I didn’t take it or life seriously and now I am living the consequences with really tattered relationship with my sister and odd dynamics of mom and dad. Why did I do that? Because I kept on feeding the beast of my negative thoughts I didn’t pull through I didn’t take it seriously even though I was scared. I think my mom can’t read my mind because all I am really thinking about is how I could have done things differently in the past and how even after I kept on making mistakes and now my sister is pulling even more away not just boundaries but pulling away. I don’t feel real but that’s not fair to others in theory I get it but I just feel dead on the inside like my beautiful soul died and won’t come back. I don’t know what I want from this post. What I really want is someone to tell me I can go to the past and change all this. This is literally the worst most horrific thing I have ever experienced or done. Pls someone idk anybody help. Idk if I want reassurance or not because I’ve heard so many people say it I just want something that speaks to me hopefully something that sparks something in me to keep on living and doing my best to mend all of this. Pick up the pieces I broke and not feel so broken 😞which I am not but something like shattered

I am in the uk and voting just happened. My friend of 4 years voted for the party that has the opposite values of what my partner voted. Most people who vote the party my partner voted ARE bad people, but I am an open minded person and willing to know why instead of just assuming someone is bad straight away. My friend saw what my bf voted and was mortified and called him all sorts like racist and sexist etc. yet they haven’t ever had a proper conversation with my boyfriend or really known him. I know that my boyfriend didn’t vote for the reason my friend thought. He explained that he didn’t want the party he voted to win and dislikes them like me. The whole reason he voted is because he knew they WOULDNT win, not because he agreed with them and wanted them to win, he just wanted to lend his vote away and not vote for the same 2 main parties like most people, he didn’t want to vote for the 2 main parties as both of them have failed the country and with the uk you vote for your local politician and in his local area the 2 main parties were close and neither were more likely to win than the other, and he didn’t want to vote for either so he voted for a party that was predicted to be 3rd place and they wouldn’t win which they didn’t, and by voting for the party who were predicted to be 3rd it would show the 2 main local politicians that their seat was not safe and wasn’t a guarantee in the next general election so the vote was a tactical vote for the future as every seat matters to political parties so they would put more effort into making a positive change to secure their seat in the next general election.(sorry for long explanation) I got him to message my friend to have a civil discussion and try and get them to understand that they misunderstood my partner, but they just were not having it and didn’t want to listen and called us all sorts of stuff that we are not and I’ve had to drop them as a friend :( I feel like such a shit person I want to make everyone happy but I can’t and I feel like an awful person because I couldn’t talk to 2 people who disagreed on political party choices. They believe my boyfriend voted the party he did because he is racist etc when actually he tactically voted and DOES NOT support the party he voted, just wanted to take away from the main 2. He has stated that he would be UNHAPPY if the party he voted won, he only voted because he knew there was no chance of them winning. I know that my boyfriend actually has similar views to me and my friend. But he just wanted to try something different and ended up seeming like the main bad people who vote that particular party when he isn’t. Am I worrying about this too much and am I right for dropping my friend who wasn’t willing to have a discussion and has a sort of radicalised view and was rude to us and not willing to listen to my partner explain that they misunderstood?

Hello community! I struggle with intrusive thoughts. I haven’t quite found an SSRI that has really helped me. I have tried many. Can someone share which specific brand of SSRI has helped them overcome intrusive thoughts? Thanks!

Just curious if anyone else’s “recovery” looks similar to this. I’ve been trying really hard to let thoughts be and not engage. I practice heavily on not engaging with them and not allowing myself to ruminate. I have cut back on safety behaviors and I also resist or delay compulsions. I mainly have pure o so my compulsions are ruminating and googling and trying to compare myself to others. Well since I have been implementing all this, I don’t necessarily feel “better” but I notice when I almost panic, I stop myself and move on. Like the panic and anxiety is still there but I’m still doing what I need to do. I’m still living my life despite the feelings. But with all this, I just feel depressed. Like I just feel sad and like I’m never gonna feel 100% like myself. I’ll always have this ocd haze over me. Is this common in recovery?

I find myself always needing to make sure God know I am grateful for all he has done for me. My prayers consist of a lot of thanks yous that sometimes turn into loops. They really do feel like a compulsion, but one with meaning behind. But I guess that’s just what OCD is. They flow out of, over and over again. I can’t help it. And there aren sentences that I will repeat. Not because of a compulsion, but because of muscle memory, since I have the same exact prayer every single night. Sometimes I question if that’s okay, since my friend says prayer is a conversation. Is it okay to have the same repeating conversation with God? Always saying the same things in almost the same order? What are your experiences with this, thoughts, and ways you’ve combatted it.

Tell yourself the opposite of what your thoughts say. You're allowed to make mistakes. You deserve love. You deserve to follow your dreams. You deserve kindness. You deserve to be happy. You deserve to go through life embracing all of who you are without judgement. Time and time again I get stuck in this superfluous loop of remembering what i didn't do right. What didn't go well. The bad things that happened to me. The mean things people have said to me. The guilt and shame I have for addictive behaviors. The things I wish I didn't do in my teen years. You know what though? That's all BS. You did the best you could. You tried with what you have. There's no use ruminating over it. I know this is easier said than done. I know this is difficult. I know that OCD can make this worse for us by making us think about the very things that bother us over and over again. I know it sucks. It really is a pain. But with practice, and reminders, I think we can do this. I think I can do this. I think you can do this.