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How do you guys manage compulsive self-talk?

I am honestly feeling terrified and here’s why… My partner is currently in New York with his family and while that is more than okay, I feel anxious. It has nothing to do with him being there but instead it has everything to do with me. I play this game online and came across someone. I started playing with them, we played for about six hours. I am not sure if it’s because this person is a guy but I have this fear that I will cheat or leave my partner even when that is the last thing I want. I thought about never playing with this person again but I enjoy playing with them. I just can’t stand the intrusive thoughts my mind creates about this person. I have no clue how this person even looks, I don’t know why my mind is playing these tricks on me and causing me these intense feelings of anxiety. Help?

This is a very specific and unique situation that I don’t think many (if any) will be able to relate….and I am not sharing this to get validation. Its more of a lack of connection and lack of understanding situation. I feel really alone. I have had OCD since I was a child. I truthfully think it happened because of some not okay sexual things happening at home. To add fuel to the fire God decided to give me type 1 diabetes as a child…which only intensified the OCD. Especially because the mother he assigned to me is extremely controlling and emotionally abusive. I am 33 years old living at home- I would have never dreamed my life would have ended up as terrible as it did and I have no words to express that. It isn’t for lack of trying, ive been working since I was 14 years old. But With the economy and the cost of my disease (that is out of control) and disability only offering me $800 a month, i am stuck at home. Pity party starting now: Imagine for a moment your OCD is cleanliness. And you have a disease that not only causes you severe pain; but causes other issues such as but not limited to, issues with going to the bathroom. ie: if my sugar is 400 like it is currently the piss Will spray out of me like a broken faucet and get on my inner thigh like it has just done. Not only this but anyone who has experienced blood sugar this high would know it causes scary cognitive function issues and dark thoughts, spiraling thoughts. So I can’t just work through the thought of being dirty..ive tried..i spiral. Then my sugar gets worse, i faint and have to call the ambulance. Imagine having a mother who after 20 years of you being sick can’t understand it. And doesn’t care how sick you are or how you feel in regards to your diabetes. And who laughs and makes fun of you in regards to your OCD. And now imagine you live in America where everything is so expensive that you can’t leave.

i remember feeling more hopeless in the past, having lower moments, mentally, you know, in 2022 i completely lost it. and i remember being 14 in 2020 and for the first time really considering ending my life. but still every day i wake up and go to sleep in the ocd prison, i am so tired, no one understands the patterns are the same, have been the same for years and yet i don’t know how to cope. it’s so exhausting.

I have really bad intrusive thoughts and I feel like I can never get rid of them they’re always there and I can never get them of my mind can someone help me ?

After that triggering dream where the worst thing could have happened, I don't feel legimitated anymore to feel genuinely distressed by triggers, to call compulsions as such. It all feels disingenuous. They don't feel valid anymore. Like crocodile tears. Because the one thing I didn't want to happen probably happened, that undoes everything else. I feel like a hypocrite, to feel distress and worry about those things, being anxious of that particular fear because in that dream it happened. I felt arousal and probably genuine attraction, I'm afraid that I could have agreed with it. Maybe it isn't true, maybe it didn't happen, maybe I'm misinterpreting, but then why I was left with that impression? All because of a damn dream, because ocd, all my triggers intrude even in my sleep, because I can't even be safe in my dreams. This is the worst mental illness.

Last night my friend and I did edibles for the first time. We accidentally did too much and we both became incredibly anxious. For me it made my ocd bad I started constantly checking to see if I was aroused and I got paranoid that I was and then kept checking and it really just triggered my ocd. I was wondering if anyone else has gone through similar things? I got really bad sexual and violent intrusive thoughts.

ERP has been tremendously helpful for me, but I find it difficult to plan exposures to my obsessions, given that most of my intrusive thoughts are mostly about moral or conceptual issues, so it's hard to put them into smth "actionable". Do you guys have any advice?

So I’m in a relationship with an amazing guy, like he’s literally so great, and yet there have been a lot of moments of doubt and worry over many different things, some of them I know are small and insignificant, and yet they feel so big. But right now, I’ve been experiencing thoughts and feelings that don’t necessarily worry me, but I still try to understand them and analyze them to no end. For example, I’ve realized that I become a little irritated and weirded out by my bf’s overly hyper and cringy behaviour around his friends. I sometimes think he’s just a little socially awkward and he doesn’t realize it. I can’t quite explain it or put my finger on it, but it’s irritating, and a lot of it has to do with his voice. I don’t want to be irritated by this stuff tho, I don’t want to feel irritated by his voice or his hyper and cringy behaviour, but it can be a bit much sometimes, and I worry that it’s bad for me to feel that way. I just wish I could make that feeling go away. But even with this, I’m not feeling worried as much because I know I really like him and I want to make this relationship work, and yet I still feel the need to analyze his behaviours, trying to make sense of why he acts and sounds the way he does when he’s with friends, trying to understand how I feel about it, and how I would feel if it was done/said differently or by a different person. It’s all just a mess, it’s so confusing, and it’s even more confusing when I’m not feeling anxious or worried, but I’m still finding these quirks bothersome. I really just want this to work out, you have no idea how badly. It’s all just so confusing and I don’t want to let those flaws become dealbreakers. I’ve always been worried, even since the very beginning, that his minor flaws would become dealbreakers, it was like I was fighting a part of myself that felt it should be a dealbreaker, but I don’t want it to be. I just want to stop feeling this way about every little inconvenience, annoyance, or flaw. I feel like I’m constantly fighting myself.

im not on this app such a long time because i was doing really well. i felt like my ocd has gone and i thought maybe if i go to therapy once a month is okay like im doing really well. but then the day after i felt incredible anxiety just beacuse i put on a parfum like on the bad days too. and i got so scared like what if its gonna be like old times again. what am i gonna do. i cant resist for a second time something like that am i gonna live like this forever? i cant live like this. please if you triggered like similarity with your ocd flared up times please write to me.

I have a lot I need to do for work and feel like I’m slacking but I’m just so overcome with my obsessions. I can hardly focus either due to the obsessions or lack of mental energy leftover after the episodes subside. I’m frustrated because I know what I need to do a lot and I have to get focused asap. Please encourage me to get a lot done at work this week. I need to tell myself I can do it and stick to it.

Have you ever been blackout drunk or on any substance that causes you to blackout and your ocd tells you that you did something horrible or something happened to someone and you were there and you were under the influence so your ocd gets triggered and makes you think you did it even though you weren’t having intrusive thoughts at that time in your life?

Yesterday was one of my worst days in a while. Everything went downhill fast. I woke up to realize my wife had emailed the school I work at to inform them that they are under paying me. I knew she was frustrated on my behalf (I would teach for free). Teaching is a passion of mine and I only get to do it a few times a year. It’s at a massage school. I teach chair massage. She wants my hourly rate to be the same as what I charge for my massages. Do, essentially a $30 raise. She was pretty upset at the time and I thought it would blow over. I didn’t know she actually emailed the director using my email. I So, when I woke up I had to do a lot of damage control. I still have the job, but they are willing to replace me now. My 14 year old son is being just awful to me and we argue almost daily. My mom was supposed to take my kids to the pool but she canceled due to the weather. I tried calling her several times yesterday only to be sent to voicemail. I texted her later and she claimed she didn’t know I was trying to get a hold of her. Plus, she didn’t want me to know that she was watching my little brother’s kids instead. My pure O was in overdrive yesterday. I couldn’t sleep. I just woke up at noon. I’m pissed off that I watched the news yesterday. I’m glad Trump was found guilty, I just don’t think it will matter as much as it should. End of rant. There is more to it but that’s the main issues.

I have been working on my ocd and I do not feel afraid of my ocd right now but I do feel very depressed and unmotivated is this a normal part of healing from ocd?

Are they really intrusive thoughts when I find myself not knowing and questioning if they really are?

My OCD has kept me from Getting serious with a guy I really loved because I was afraid he wouldn’t want me when he realized how bad my OCD was. I married somebody who wasn’t right for me. I took a job out of college that I really didn’t want because I was afraid of getting an important job and getting fired over my OCD. my whole career path was affected . After I had my son, I had so much postpartum anxiety and OCD that I didn’t have another child and I really wanted one.

My ocd is really bad, it’s making it hard to be motivated to do anything, and that in it’s itself kind of scares me. does anyone have any tips on what to do to stay motivated when your OCD feels like it’s sucking you dry and you’re feeling really depressed?

One thing that I’m struggling to bear with, is how isolating this feels… I spent all evening yesterday ruminating over intense groinal responses in response to intrusive thoughts. And then I had a dream where I experienced sexual arousal due to being in bed naked with someone… Not sure who, and I didn’t touch the person in the dream… But now my ocd is putting the two together and I’m triggered to the next level right now… I’m trying so hard to dismiss this as a stupid dream but I’m finding it increasingly difficult. I’m so lost, I don’t know what to do…

I’m still early in my journey and have only had a few erp sessions. After the sessions, I feel totally defeated and depressed (even if I “did well”). I am totally overwhelmed thinking about the past 15 years I’ve spent reinforcing safety behaviors and ruminating. It seems like it will take a very very long time to see and feel meaningful progress. The sessions are exhausting and I have a family- is it really worth triggering myself like this? When did you start recognizing progress?

Those of you that partake in marijuana, how does it affect your OCD? Sometimes I feel like it calms me down and rids my brain of all intrusive thoughts, sometimes I feel like I take one hit and I'm spiraling. Just wondering how it affects other people. Love you all and am very happy I downloaded this app. I feel so much less alone. ☮️