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how do you all deal with intrusive thoughts and the false memories that come along with them?

I keep thinking about my intrusive thoughts intentionally, I'm not sure why though, I hate these thoughts I'm pretty sure of but I also feel like I want them so I intentionally think of them to satisfy "myself" because I'm thinking them intentionally. I'm scared. I think I'm scared. Everything feels wrong

I had an ocd episode late this morning and I can't keep living myself like this. I wrote on my journal I feel like s****** is the best option for me. What made everything worse is I requested time off on june 1st because I was going on a day trip to see my sister. My manager denied because other ppl request time offs that day and my request was already too late. It's so frustrating because it's a part time job and I'm only scheduled to work only 4 hours (I had times where I worked a 3 hour shift) twice or even once a week. Whenever a shift is available, I always take it because I need I need the money. The one day I take a day off, I get denied. I can't switch shifts with anybody because no one won't be available.I can't afford to quit because in today's climate, it's so hard to find another job. It's just everything has been so difficult lately. With ocd, my life does not matter anymore.

I need help or resources. I am having a terrible OCD episode since yesterday night! Anxiety was bad last night when going to bed. I just don’t know what to do!

I have adhd and ocd so I have no short term memory and my ocd loves to feed on that. Sometimes I try and force myself to remember things to try and improve my adhd symptoms, but I can’t tell if these are me trying to push through adhd or doing mental compulsions for ocd. Like I’ll think to myself “what if you forgot to wash your hands free going to the bathroom before you touched your phone?” Which may be true , and then I get bored and don’t want to continue the thought , but the thought makes me anxious so I force myself to relive the memory to see if I washed my hands or not. I can’t tell if this is me just trying to improve my memory or if I’m doing mental compulsions. I wish I had a different brain. Every time this happens it hurts my head. I can’t tell if I should stop or push through to remember.

Hi guys, I was playing a video game tonight relaxing, when I forgot what I was thinking doing and then got anxiety because of not knowing my OCD? I hate anxiety it’s the worst! What should I do about forgetting and the anxiety?

I’m feeling so hopeless. Every aspect of my life has been affected by ocd. Every single part of it. Every action that I take, ocd. Every thought I have, ocd. I don’t know how much longer I can do this for. I’m really not seeing a way out of it. Every relationship is affected. The person I love the most in this world, ocd affected. I don’t have anything anymore. I hate myself so much. I hate that I let my ocd ruin my life.

Im really anxious , i feel like i have an attraction towards a cousin relative of mine , an i know ill never act on it but im freaking out . I try to jus forget it but whenever it pops up i feel disgusting like im so anxious , to make matters worse i have a partner and its giving me urges to tell my partner , an im freaking out. I dont like this , is there anything i can do to fix this or sooth my nerves

I had such a horrible thought! Sometimes I can’t tell if they’re on purpose or accidental but my mind said a thought about “I reject God” then it said “with your heart”. I immediately started freaking out! I still feel the anxiety and fear. I’m trying so hard not to cry my eyes out. I did cry a bit but I’ve prayed for God & Jesus to please forgive me! I can’t live without them! I love Him so fricking much! To have a thought like that hurts so much! It bothers me! Makes me feel so much guilt and shame! I would NEVER say that or even want to think that but my mind is questioning did I think that on purpose or was it my OCD? Sometimes the blasphemous thoughts “feel” on purpose. Please any advice?! Does God still love me?! Will He forgive me for this thought?

I love my bf, he’s amazing, but there are certain things that I’m really struggling to get over and I’m genuinely starting to think it’s not ocd (for context I’m not diagnosed right now). He’s super great but one thing that really bugs me and stresses me out is the fact that there are times when he sounds really whiny like a child, it’s not even that he’s doing it consciously or with the intent to whine, sometimes he just sounds like a child. And because it’s not something he’s doing intentionally and sometimes it’s just the way he sounds, it’s not something he can necessarily change, and I don’t want to constantly be picking him apart every time he does it. But it’s brings me so much stress and anxiety because it’s kind of a turn off for me and I’m worried that if I don’t like it that means I don’t like him and I should leave. I don’t want to have turn offs, especially because he’s so amazing, but that one is. And it’s worrying. I’m worried I’ll always be bugged by it and it’ll only get worse. But I love him and I don’t want to leave. But in that moment it feels like I’m turned off and annoyed and concerned at the fact that he sounds and acts that way, and it brings be so much stress. I feel like I catastrophize little things. I worry that if anything is a turn off I should take it as a gut instinct. And I don’t know what to do. I’m scared, and so mentally exhausted. And I don’t want to hurt him with my thoughts and feelings. Please help.

Does anyone else seem to do compulsions in their dreams? It’s hard because it seems like I am getting intrusive thoughts and doing compulsions in my dreams. It’s honestly like I never get a break and I am just so tired. Does anyone else feel this too? It’s just so weird how your obsessions AND behavior can transfer over into your dream state. Just a different aspect of OCD that I have been dealing with recently. Didn’t know if anyone else has felt similar?

Does anyone else feel like they’re just spinning their wheels? I left my last job I was at for 3 years because my ocd was telling me that the reason I was getting worse was my job. Now I’m working from home and it’s significantly worse. I keep switching therapists because I feel like I’m getting worse and psychiatrists because I’m too scared to take the medicine. I’m just at a loss and my anxiety is 24/7 which makes me just freeze and not able to do anything to help myself. Has anyone else felt like this please just tell me it gets better. I know it’s easy to say just take the medicine or whatever but I’m so scared it’s going to make me worse and idk if I can handle worse. 🙃🙃🙃

Hey everyone. I've never posted before because I'm never quite sure what to say. But things have been pretty rough for a long time and I just don't know what to do. It feels like my intrusive thoughts continue to get worse and more persistent and even though I know I'm a good person, I'm scared that I'm really not one because of the thoughts. It also feels like no matter what I do, they don't go away. I would try meds but they scare me and the side effects worry me too because of my family history. I just feel stuck and don't know what to do anymore. I'm so tired. I just needed to rant. Thanks for reading.

Can OCD make you feel like you're enjoying OCD even though that's not the case and you're in mental anguish?

I keep giving in to OCD I wish I could resist it but if I don’t do what it says then I feel weird because I’ve been doing it for so long!

Hi so I struggle with harm ocd and I believe I have gotten to manage the thoughts better as they are no longer eating away at me every minute as they were for the last month and a half( I still ruminate a lot) But I guess I am also depressed and the anxiety were too much and now I can’t really feel a lot of emotions, it’s not like they’re all gone but very suppressed I would say, like I can’t feel joy like I used to, I don’t feel anger or sadness especially when watching sad things or videos as much, I don’t feel guilty as much, like when I broke a family friends chair on accident, cognitively I felt bad as I offered to pay to replace it, but I didn’t really feel guilty, I have felt it in the past but since this flare up I haven’t been able to, and the anxiety is gone (which is partly good) but also a little unsettling, because I am a Very and I mean VERY anxious person I remeber in high school I would get super anxious to do something simple as picking up a tissue and blowing my nose, now I can’t really feel that and it’s helpful in some situations but it doesn’t feel like I am myself. I want to get rid of this numbness because I graduate this week and want to feel both happy and sad for when that day comes and not hollow. Any tips for anyone who’s going trough the same thing? Or has?

I’m so fed up of this, it’s not proper full on intrusive thoughts it’s just this whole general feeling and I hate it, i can’t shake it and i just don’t know what is real or fake. I try to imagine myself in situations and see if i would like it and i don’t think i would but that’s not enough for my brain. I’m also so stressed because back in february when this girl wanted my snap and sent me into a spiral of intrusive thoughts, i saw her at work yesterday and it made me feel so stressed. My brain told me this stress meant I liked her?? but i don’t. In February before her friends even said about wanting my snap I was fine because I don’t like her?! But as soon as that happened i got all these intrusive thoughts like ‘oh you must look gay then’ and from then on every time i have work i get bad anxiety - my brain keeps saying this anxiety is attraction does anyone have any advice? i’m sure it’s not attraction but my brain keeps saying it is and i get intrusive thoughts and feelings.

I feel when I get a thought I can’t talk myself out of it unless I have proof like a voice memo, a video or a dash cam recording. How do you guys talk yourselves through your thoughts. Whatever they may be?

Hey guys, just wanted to introduce myself my names Matt. I was first diagnosed with ocd at the age of 14. I am 29 years old currently. I really had it bad for awhile then I got out of the hole and saw the light. Now I feel like I'm back in it. I've been inpatient at ocd facilities like mclean and Roger's. I consider myself very fortunate and that's where part of the guilt comes in for whatever reason. I've been supported a lot of my life especially when the ocd was really bad and I couldn't function in society. I got back on my feet but recently experienced rocd for the first time. The fear it instilled in me..im struggling massively at the moment. I find that the intrusive thoughts come in and have a strangle hold on me and the sadness and emptiness that follows. I was diagnosed with depression but its hard to come to terms with it. I feel that the ocd is just so awful now. I have experienced a couple sub types in the past..a big one being harm ocd and health related ocd..contamination to a degree. I used to reread when I was in school and that was hell in itself just trying to chase a feeling of perfectionism. I've done ERP plenty of times in the past but ceased the therapy as I got better. Now I'm seeking therapy through nocd which I've never tried before. I really hope I can get myself on track because it really feels like the weight of the world is on my back. I want to pursue music as it's always been an important tool for coping and connection. I can't explain how it makes me feel it's just amazing. I've been working on my vocals but there are so many barriers right now. I feel so sad and I just want to isolate myself. It's up and down emotionally. I'm adjusting to medication that I discontinued awhile ago and now I'm back on it. It's a slow grind. I literally feel like the stress at work is becoming too much as I'm essentially caring for others when I can barely care for myself right now. I work as a life coach with individuals diagnosed with Autism spectrum disorder. I know I'm really bouncing around here on all of subjects but I feel like the more and more I speak up about my diagnosis and spread awareness of ocd the more I'm feared of being misunderstood. I think it's truly another "what if" ocd fear. It is so hard to get a grip on the ocd because the rumination is so bad. To be honest it's hard to open up about ocd in general. I just keep thinking as a male I have to keep it together and I shouldn't be emotional that it's weak. I feel like I was fed that before in my past. I honestly appreciate having a community like this I'm grateful. It's so odd I just want a big hug but at the same time it's too much to be that vulnerable.

Hi! So I can't stop thinking that I am a bad person .. Idk .. I doubt everything .. I can't stop thinking about all may past actions and I cant stop thinking that I had bad intentions in everything .. Also I keep having thoughts about what if I really want to hurt someone .. I keep having intrusive thoughts about harming people .. I am so scared Idk if I really want or its just intrusive.. but they cause me distress... Any advice? Is someone going trough the same thing?