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working to conquer OCD
i know people say to just accept it but im so tired i genuinely just dont care if im this or if im that. I just want the thoughts to stop. Thats all. But i feel like a bad person for not caring anymore. any advice?
My thoughts are so loud today even just normal overthinking when I don’t know what’s related to my ocd anymore I’m trying to stay positive but sometimes it’s hard to get through the day especially when I can’t talk to anyone My head hurts and my sleep has been not good lately like I know I’ll be okay but sometimes just feels like a mess and my head won’t shut up
Intrusive thoughts destroyed who I've always known myself to be, I wish I could go back to when I trusted who I was and my morals. I'm constantly paranoid that I've lied about terribly awful things and theyre gonna come out and haunt me. What a sad way to live :(
How do get rid of intrusive thoughts?? And how do you know that they’re intrusive thoughts if you started thinking of them? Or if you feel like you’re the one who’s thinking of them rather than them just popping in your mind? Like if you’re looking for it, like you’re looking for trouble… Anyone else feel like this too?
Anyone have any compulsions they didn't realize were compulsions? I ruled out OCD as a possibility for a long time because I didn't think I had any compulsions, but I'm realizing they can be a lot more subtle than the common examples, like locking doors over and over. I'm slowly discovering many small things I do that could be compulsions (excessively proofreading my posts, ruminating, seeking validation for my feelings in comments sections, etc), and I'd like to hear other people's examples too
Hello, bit of an odd one, but I got out of an abusive relationship about 18 months ago and I am really worried that I was the problem/ people think I’m the abuser. Im trying to separate my thoughts into ‘facts’ and ‘feelings/fiction’. I know that i was abused. For a long time i couldnt call it that, but then I went to therapy and sought help from external sources, including the university I was attending. It was emotional abuse, which makes it even harder to understand (even after therapy). I’ll spare the details. But … “what if youre the abuser?” “What if you were trying to manipulate them?” “What if when your career takes off, they say things about you and ruin it?” “What if that housemate backs them up because you never got along?” “What if you really were the abuser?” These thoughts plague me. I have friends who know everything, who saw the abuse and what it did to me, who could reassure me in an instant, but I am trying not to rely on reassurance. I am trying to find acceptance. Is is so hard. (I don’t even know what to tag this under.)
How should i manage this automatic reassurance behaviour??? Pls someone help me Plsssssssss This automatic reassurance behaviour failing my hard work😔
i know compulsions are not helpful on the long run. but they can help to give certainty and a bit of peace for the moment. i usually imagine scenarios and check how i feel about them. has anyone experienced that sometimes this does not make you feel certain and safe, but somehow confirms what ocd is telling you, e.g. after imagining a scenario it feels like you could actually want it? so compulsions sometimes don’t even help on the short term and i feel the need to ruminate more and more to come to the solution i want
I’m kinda laughing at myself because I’m extremely disappointed that I just now found out that seeking reassurance doesn’t help anything…y’all wanna guess why I’ve been scrolling this app for the last hour and a half? … welp someone tell me what to do because it’s the only thing that seems to help me…
Ever since I was a teen I wondered what my purpose in life is. I constantly wonder when my next long term relationship would end and mentally prepare myself for it so I don’t feel as lost and to have my own closure. No one’s ever proud of me. I don’t understand complexity. I need constant reassurance. I need to check and double check and triple check everything I touch for 5 seconds, especially if I’m locking it. I need to check and be reassured that the dog is in the house. I need to know everything that’s going on, and if there’s a change in plans then count me out. If I park a car I have to pull on locked door handles and make sure the gear shift is in park. I constantly google to try and make sense of my mind and feel somewhat normal or fit in somewhere, but normal is a dream. When I shower I must wash my body and then my hair and then my body again or else I’m not clean because my hair would be dirty from my body or my body would be dirty from my hair, there’s no medium. I cry because I just want to be normal. I’m tired.. Thanks for reading.
God I wanna ask my (15f) sister if I’ve ever hurt her -so badly. I wanna know if I’ve ever m worded her… she still likes me though- is around me, likes my attention when we are alone and is not troubled by my presence at all. Sometimes she squabbles with me, says hurtful things but she’s a teenager first and foremost. (Also likely bullied :( which is my non ocd fear.) She’s my sister, I love her more than anything and she doesn’t even know it. I’d move mountains for her if I had to and when I found out she was being bullied I wanted to personally put the fear of god into those pathetic wimps. She was born so I wouldn’t grow up alone if anything happened to our parents. She was the best gift and if I ever hurt her that way I would unalive myself The reason this thought came up was that I had a memory where me and her were playing as kids. We hid under the covers (idk why or the context) and she said “like sex?” And I panicked, got out from under the covers so quickly and said “what?! No- no nothing like that.” Or something along those lines. (I was molested as a kid by my cousin so I knew what sex was way too early- I think I was mostly disturbed by her knowing too.) My ocd is trying to find meaning- to find some part of this memory to twist. I can feel it bubbling in the back of my head sometimes. Conjuring up stuff. I know asked for reassurance from her is the worst thing I could do. Not only cause it’ll worsen symptoms if just ocd- but also it could possibly traumatize my sister cause she doesn’t know I have ocd and wouldn’t understand intrusive thoughts. :( Sometimes I just wish she also had ocd that she didn’t tell me about and we could both just ride it out as a pair again. Instead of being separated by my mental illness.
What do you do when it starts to feel really real and you lose yourself? I constantly get thoughts/images of me being romantically involved w a child and I disgusts me to my core but at the same time I get thoughts and this "feeling" that I like it and it freaks me out. I tend to say "i want to be someone my age or older" when I get those thoughts and I get thoughts that I’m lying and that I don’t see myself w someone my age or older and it’s so weird and gross. I’m so scared that I’m going to become something I don’t want to be. I haven’t been diagnosed fully but my psychiatrist said that she’s sure that it is anxiety disorder and impulse phobia which is very close/linked to ocd. I’m so scared that my fear is gonna become real and this is turning me into one and I’ve always been one or something.
This might be really disturbing but it can help you understand ocd. 2 years ago i didnt had the help for ocd that i have now, i just was in a discord server where people teached you to "accept everything and live your life" which in some way is good, but its just a tiny little part of ocd 4 recovery and every mental illness revovery, just based on that you cant recover, ocd is much more deeper. So back then i just had this advice, to accept every thoughts cause they are just thoughts... again this is not enough for ocd recovery. So i felt worse and that time harm ocd got really bad. Usually i had suicidal ocd but in that time i had harm against others, like killing my family. And this going to be so discusting, both for you and me but it might be a good exposure to me, i remember one night i was writing to someone what i was going through, and i wrote to her that im actually feeling that i want to hirt my mom. And i remember i felt like im going insane and i want to hurt my mom, i had random thoughts that said this will feel good, i will enjoy it. And lot of people doesnt know this but ocd can be this agressive, its not just "what if" thoughts. But because of movies we think that if you have thoughts like this, expecially telling you want to do, it means youre going insane, youre schizophrenic, you have demons and youre probably going to do it. These things were in my mind so i was just really sick of myself. I wrote this to that person and i really told her what i was feeling, that i feel like i want to do it and i would enjoy it. She told me to go to the hospital(cause i worded it really badly). I felt soo bad, i didnt wanted to go to the hospital but i felt shame that i dont want to accept that i have a problem. I still didnt went to the hospital and now im actually happy about it cause 2 thing couldve happened there, 1 they take it seriously and deal with me as a sick person who wants to kill his family, which wouldve ruin my revovery, give me more doubt and self hate and give me trauma, or the 2nd thing, they realize its just ocd but the whole situation makes me feel shame. So i didnt went but i was so tired and sick of myself that inside i accepted that i have to get locked in a mental asylum, cause im dangerous...So my point is that ocd can be this agressive. It can manipulate you to feel anything and if you dont have the right tools, you will fall for it. If you dont have people who understand ocd, please find a therapist, you dont have to suffer with this alone. I hope i could help to some with this horrible story😅 Now its time for me to sit with the discomfort that i shared this and the memoried came back😂
My therapist says i have ocd but i have a hard time believing it ive never heard of my ocd themes before,my themes is not being loved and not being worthy and also that im not my own person i obsess over these but i have trouble think this is something thats considered ocd,is anyone going through the same experience?
I’m going through what is hopefully just a really bad hypochondria episode where I’ve convinced myself I have schizophrenia. It’s been about 8 months and I’ve been through a range of crazy symptoms but the most prevalent symptom is getting crazy delusional thoughts like “what if my wife is a demon and trying to get to me” “what if nobody is real and these are all monsters/demons out to get me” etc etc. the thoughts are absolutely terrifying and they make me look at people differently, and i have to question myself whether I truly believe the thoughts or not, they feel so real, when they come on I almost catch myself genuinely feeling paranoid that they are 100% real and having a panic attack, but then the tiny bit of me that’s still rational brings me back to reality. And from then on I have to question myself all day “do I really believe this?” “Well you technically can’t disprove those things” “if it’s not real, then why does it FEEL real?” “This really is schizophrenia” “ what if it’s not schizophrenia but ACTUALLY real?” “who do I go to for help?” “What if I can’t trust anyone” and the scariest of them all…”why would a see a doctor if this is all real” etc, it’s literally hell. I can never give a satisfying “No, I don’t believe this” to these thoughts. I can go days and weeks and be able to confidently shrug them off and tell how ridiculous they are only for them to come back with a vengeance the next day. I could really use some reassurance even though I know it’s bad. I have never been like this before until I started obsessing over schizophrenia. I’ve been like this for 8 months now.
Can anyone tell me about their experience ending therapy? I think I want to soon. But I still have bad days sometimes. It’s rare but it happens. But at this point it feels like therapy is a crutch or safety behavior. I rarely have any exposures to do. I still get themes coming in (or trying) - I still check my thoughts. I’m just aware to detach and move on. I still do compulsions or rumination sometimes. But I don’t think I’ll get to perfection and even if it did I don’t know if more therapy is the answer. Feels like I need to let it all go. And exist without thinking too much about OCD anymore. Just curious!
I was on tiktok there was this video about a girl saying "I Always have obsessive crushes but Then when they like me back I realize I don't like Them, I just created an idea of Them in my mind" and I related and everyone in the comments were saying "this Is Just comphet", "I used to have crushes like this and I'm a lesbian", "She Will come out soon". I'm going Crazy.
Not every emotion we have is important or say something, i struggle with this alot. Why should i accept an emotion that doesnt help me? If someone hurts me, and i get a feeling that the world is evil, and i feel depressed, its nothing good in that to accept feeling depressed that the world is evil cause this thought is even a lie, its a distortion. Its okay to acknowledge that someone hurted you, but why should i accept feeling depressed cause now i think life is bad. I dont understand this. Then if you try to change that and say no, not everyone is evil, this isnt true, now youre fighting with the thoughts so thats a compulsion. Then all you can do is actually accept the feeling being there, which frustrates me cause its based on a distortion. Not every emotion is useful. For exemple i saw a post on tiktok that roman males had the right in their time to sell, or execute their childrens and because i dont have a good relationship with my dad, i had a thought that he would sell us or kill us, and that made me feel so angry at my dad and depressed, but then i realized this is a huge distortion, my dad its not like that even that we dont get along, but instead of relief i felt like i pushed away the emotions, not numbness, but that feeling that i just pushed away all. But what shouldve i done? Feel the distorted feeling that i made up? Do you know that we have alot of thoughts and a day and letting all their emotion be there would be really tiring. This really bothers me, if i dont have to let myself be controlled by emotions then why i feel like im pushing away and i get worse when im just not letting them control my day, not letting them get fully in the surface to control how i view things
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OCD doesn't have to
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