- Username
- Annonn
- Date posted
- 37w ago
Replaying
How do I stop replaying things that happened in my head? (Ex: someone flipped me off today driving and I can’t get past it & can’t stop replaying it in my head trying to remember every detail).
- Username
- Lost-Lost-
- Date posted
- 37w ago
For me the only way to stop ruminating (with varying success) is to decide with conviction that even if there is more information to be gathered/ understood about a moment, I am deciding that moving forward without paying attention to it is more important. For instance, thinking about how someone interpreted what I said used to burden me so much it became hard to function and I just withdrew from speaking as much as I could to avoid being misunderstood. I don’t know if this is a common saying but I had to force myself to comply with the ideal that “everything works out in the wash” in the end.
- Username
- AnnonnAnnonn
- Date posted
- 37w ago
@Lost- Thank you! That’s a good way to think about it.
- Username
- JediMJJediMJ
- Date posted
- 37w ago
Ohhhh, that’s OCD. I get stuck on a thought like that. I can’t let it go. Interesting. I think part of letting things go is having compassion for ourselves. Because I was just feeling annoyed that I have another thing to figure out, annoyed that I have these thought patterns in the first place. I listened to a podcast today (11 Things I Tell My Patients in Their First Session of OCD Treatment Ер. 378 — Your Anxiety Toolkit) and she said, “There’s no such thing as bad thoughts.” I think it would be helpful to not judge ourselves so harshly. Why are you (why am I) replaying those bad moments? What are we trying to figure out? It seems like learning to sit with the discomfort and not ruminating is key. Not exactly sure how to do that… But I really did appreciate this post because I definitely do that too and didn’t realize it was an OCD thing. More insight…thank you. I have read things that say we can just choose to not ruminate but that’s proven hard for me. I can distract myself, but it just comes back. I’m missing something… if you figure it out, let me know.
- Username
- AnnonnAnnonn
- Date posted
- 37w ago
@JediMJ Much easier said than done - been trying to work past this for a long time now with all different kinds of thoughts. Always ones that left me feeling upset in some way. Best of luck to you, I hope you figure out how to get past these ruminations!
- Username
- JediMJJediMJ
- Date posted
- 37w ago
@Annonn Yeah…it seems like we get upset by being flipped off or whatever…and instead of allowing ourselves to feel our feelings we jump into rumination. We analyze it to try to make sure it never happens again because this feeling is intolerable. And what I think I’m learning is we have to learn to live with discomfort. And eventually we’ll level out.
- Username
- HopeM365HopeM365
- Date posted
- 37w ago
I think it’s also if you have the choice to be present in the moment or think about the thing, you choose to be present in the moment instead. For example, I could watch Jimmy Fallon or ruminate on something my friend said to me. I choose Jimmy Fallon, even though my compulsion is to ruminate.
- Username
- AnnonnAnnonn
- Date posted
- 37w ago
@HopeM365 Good tip! Thanks!
Related posts
- Username
- anon70
- Date posted
- 25w ago
Venting
I remember feeling guilt and trying to ‘solve’ my real event right after it happened. I remember feeling bad and thinking of every possible outcome. I think eventually I convinced myself nothing bad would happen? or I just ignored it and forgot? I honestly don’t know. After some time I think about 1-2 years it has come back up again and I can acknowledge that I did something wrong but I can’t remember all the details now. I’m terrified of what I can’t remember and I have these false memories that would take the event and make it so so much worse. I wish I could turn back time and tell myself not to forget or to just look at all the facts and have a clear view of everything. I’ve thought about killing myself so much and although I’ve confessed to the people I’m closest to and they have told me that they would still love me after all (which made me feel even worse) I still don’t think I could ever move on without knowing exactly what happened. I used to have dreams and recently obtained a great degree but now I just don’t even think I’m worthy of breathing on this earth. I just want to be someone else completely. I don’t know what I’ve done and it’s driving me insane.
- Username
- Anonymous
- Date posted
- 22w ago
How to get over the past
How do you get over your past when you’ve never got closure and you know multiple people hate you and bitch about you and you can’t change how they feel or show how much you have grown? I’ve deep down hated myself for my past and people saying I was mean to them when I was 12-15 years old and I’ve never forgave myself and I don’t think I ever will How can you let go because today when I meet anyone I get paranoid that someone has spoken to them about how I used to be and they won’t like me I find it really hard because my past has followed me my whole life
- Username
- byrde
- Date posted
- 19w ago
Intrusive thought too intense to ignore
I don’t really wanna go into detail about what it’s about cause I feel like it’s super embarrassing, but there’s this one specific type of intrusive thought I get that I struggle extremely with ignoring/sitting in discomfort with. Does anyone have tips for managing something like this?
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