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why is it when i try ‘accept’ the thoughts to let them pass, or try sit with them, it spirals into another one, each a little more realistic as they go. i was doing so well. i’ve not felt so deflated in years 🫤

Been checking this lately but is it ok to experience both my mental image and reality at the same time? Example: I can have an intrusion of a car crash pop up whilst sat in my kitchen. I can see both the crash and the kitchen at the same time like a double layer I’d say the image is more vivid than reality for a moment

Hi. My name is Alec. I've had this app for a year, maybe less, but never used it really. I don't know why, if it's a lack of motivation, or confusion about myself. Maybe a lot of things, piling on top of each other, day in, day out. I've had no platform comfortable sharing things with, no real community to try and be a part of, because I couldn't take the first step. I'm shooting a light into a dark night here and I don't know where this is going but here I am. I don't know what medical issues I've had, and my whole life it feels like whatevers been going on with me has been swept under the rug or categorized as just another part of autism. I may be on the spectrum with aspergers, diagnosed, but it always felt like there was something else, like these people just generalize my brain into something easy to work with. Well it's not. My brain has periodic attraction to minors, but that's being nice for the sake of it. They're kids. KIDS. And any time I've wanted to come out and get some help, maybe float the idea of someone coming out to people with that issue, I always hear the same response. Commit suicide, people like that deserve death. "If you in any way are attracted to kids, there is no excuse, people like that should be;" shot, stabbed, raped, etc. So I never have seeked anything or anyone out for help, and just sat in my own disgust and lust that I've grown numb to it. I think my brain obsessively targets a mindset to make myself feel less bad about drawn porn of the content, because that's all it's been, growing numb to sickening ideas and maybe even normalizing it. You can never be as mad at me or anything as I am, because I have to deal with these thoughts just about every day. I don't know if it's much better, but I don't look up CP. While I can't help these strange obsessive attractions, I've put so much energy directing it into fictional porn, specifically the drawn stuff, just so I couldn't be tempted in real life, and seems to be working so far, but if I can snuff out this issue for good, I don't know how I'd feel, but I hope relieved. That's simply a smaller chapter in my life, despite its vulgarity, so still be aware that I am being vulnerably open right now to a bunch of strangers that may not want to see this. I dont know. I really don't. There has been no option for me that I could find, and I'm already past the option for suicide, so I'm just crossing fingers that maybe some answer will come to because who can afford a therapist when they have no money, and listen to the comments of an ultimatum for various problems probably associated with a mental issue is murder or some twisted version of justice? I simply just want to figure out what's wrong with me, and maybe even fix all of my mental problems and blocks, despite this being an app for a target group of people. Maybe this is my root, who knows. But thank you anyways.

I’m going through what is hopefully just a really bad hypochondria episode where I’ve convinced myself I have schizophrenia. It’s been about 8 months and I’ve been through a range of crazy symptoms but the most prevalent symptom is getting crazy delusional thoughts like “what if my wife is a demon and trying to get to me” “what if nobody is real and these are all monsters/demons out to get me” etc etc. the thoughts are absolutely terrifying and they make me look at people differently, and i have to question myself whether I truly believe the thoughts or not, they feel so real, when they come on I almost catch myself genuinely feeling paranoid that they are 100% real and having a panic attack, but then the tiny bit of me that’s still rational brings me back to reality. And from then on I have to question myself all day “do I really believe this?” “Well you technically can’t disprove those things” “if it’s not real, then why does it FEEL real?” “This really is schizophrenia” “ what if it’s not schizophrenia but ACTUALLY real?” “who do I go to for help?” “What if I can’t trust anyone” etc, it’s literally hell. I can never give a satisfying “No, I don’t believe this” to these thoughts. I can go days and weeks and be able to confidently shrug them off and tell how ridiculous they are only for them to come back with a vengeance the next day. I could really use some reassurance even though I know it’s bad. I have never been like this before until I started obsessing over schizophrenia. I’ve been like this for 8 months now.

I’ve always had a feeling of having OCD but I’ve never been sure. I’m a teenager, and I’m hoping people on this app can help me try to figure out if I have OCD or I’m just crazy. Starting off with these terrible thoughts I have all the time. Someone can come home late and I immediately think they got into a car wreck, and check my phone for recent car crashes and other thing etc. etc. number 2, I always have intrusive thoughts, terrible ones ever since I was a kid I can’t control. I immediately feel like thinking these will lead god to hate me, and that he made an imperfection on me. And every time I try to hide these thoughts away, like right now they’re coming out I just can’t stop thinking of them and it’s so hard to do anything. Just thoughts like, “you hate your mom” or, “you hate god” and stuff that scares me like spiders. It’s hard to do anything with these thoughts. I’m also a major perfectionist, if anything is out of order I freak out. Yes, my room is messy. But I feel a sense of incompleteness and anxiety if I don’t empty the dishwasher, or don’t clean dirty dishes around the sink. These are recent and I feel like God will punish me for committing the sin of laziness. I also have a thing with the number 5, when I touch something it needs to be 5 times and if it’s not 5 times I freak out. I’m also terrified of getting sick, every time my friend is sick I freak out and don’t get near them the entire day, constantly washing my hands. Writing this is triggering a lot of my terrible thoughts and I don’t want to continue writing. Please let me know your thoughts, mental illness runs in my family but my mom is constantly telling me there’s nothing wrong with me. Maybe she’s right.

feel free to ask any questions about anything ocd thats stuck on your mind. I’ve been through a lot so i’m sure i will be able to ease your mind in someway, even if its very specific!

I’m going through what is hopefully just a really bad hypochondria episode where I’ve convinced myself I have schizophrenia. It’s been about 8 months and I’ve been through a range of crazy symptoms but the most prevalent symptom is getting crazy delusional thoughts like “what if my wife is a demon and trying to get to me” “what if nobody is real and these are all monsters/demons out to get me” etc etc. the thoughts are absolutely terrifying and they make me look at people differently, and i have to question myself whether I truly believe the thoughts or not, they feel so real, when they come on I almost catch myself genuinely feeling paranoid that they are 100% real and having a panic attack, but then the tiny bit of me that’s still rational brings me back to reality. And from then on I have to question myself all day “do I really believe this?” “Well you technically can’t disprove those things” “if it’s not real, then why does it FEEL real?” “This really is schizophrenia” “ what if it’s not schizophrenia but ACTUALLY real?” “who do I go to for help?” “What if I can’t trust anyone” etc, it’s literally hell. I can never give a satisfying “No, I don’t believe this” to these thoughts. I can go days and weeks and be able to confidently shrug them off and tell how ridiculous they are only for them to come back with a vengeance the next day. I could really use some reassurance even though I know it’s bad. I have never been like this before until I started obsessing over schizophrenia. I’ve been like this for 8 months now.

Another thing I’ve realised and wondered if this is true for others, do you start to see aspects of your theme everywhere in things when you didn’t before?

How do I overcome it?

I had been doing a lot better with my OCD for several months-- I put in a lot of effort with NoCD, was frequently doing ERP exercises, and my head was much calmer. I moved in with a friend about a month ago though, and they're an amazing friend and a wonderful roommate. But they almost definitely have OCD as well, and we've discussed that a good few times. They're willing to challenge a couple of obsessive thoughts here and there, but a lot of their obsessions and compulsions are the same ones as mine, and I've been noticing myself "relapsing" a lot recently. They're not really interested in downloading the app or reading articles I send them, and OCD therapists cost an arm and a leg where we live (if you can even find one). I'm not sure how to get myself back to a point of peace. When they verbally obsess and indulge compulsions, it makes it incredibly hard to not do the same. Does anyone have any advice on how to get back into the swing of things?

I’ve noticed an increase in intrusive thoughts when doing what I actually WANT to do and having healthy coping mechanisms, as opposed to staying busy or going out for drinks, etc.. what is this about?

I just want to say, it’s been a few months now, I went through a stage where I was on here all day everyday, also compulsively googling all of my fears, isolating myself from others, feeling immense guilt, fear, shame from my intrusive thoughts. It gets better. It wasn’t all at once, and there was so much conscious effort and doubt during that time, but it does. I remember thinking day after day for months will this ever get better or am I destined for a life of basically ongoing mental torture. The best advice I can give, don’t give in to the sense of immediacy. Believe in slow gradual growth, and start to accept that OCD is a master of deception. Wherever you are at with your progress, You can do this. Seriously, it might not seem doable but it is.

I’m going through what is hopefully just a really bad hypochondria episode where I’ve convinced myself I have schizophrenia. It’s been about 8 months and I’ve been through a range of crazy symptoms but the most prevalent symptom is getting crazy delusional thoughts like “what if my wife is a demon and trying to get to me” “what if nobody is real and these are all monsters/demons out to get me” etc etc. the thoughts are absolutely terrifying and they make me look at people differently, and i have to question myself whether I truly believe the thoughts or not, they feel so real, when they come on I almost catch myself genuinely feeling paranoid that they are 100% real and having a panic attack, but then the tiny bit of me that’s still rational brings me back to reality. And from then on I have to question myself all day “do I really believe this?” “Well you technically can’t disprove those things” “if it’s not real, then why does it FEEL real?” “This really is schizophrenia” “ what if it’s not schizophrenia but ACTUALLY real?” “who do I go to for help?” “What if I can’t trust anyone” etc, it’s literally hell. I can never give a satisfying “No, I don’t believe this” to these thoughts. I can go days and weeks and be able to confidently shrug them off and tell how ridiculous they are only for them to come back with a vengeance the next day. I could really use some reassurance even though I know it’s bad. I have never been like this before until I started obsessing over schizophrenia. I’ve been like this for 8 months now.

how do u deal with guilt caused by intrusive thoughts during sexual activities?

This sounds insane bc ocd causes so much pain in my life, but it's almost like I'm scared to let it go?? Idk if that's ocd trying to cling on for dear life or if it's me. Logically I don't want to feel horrible bc of ocd forever but what kind of weird thought of "what if you actually want ocd forever?" ?!

i’m struggling so much with things that have happened in my past, especially in my childhood, things that i’ve done, the guilt and shame is too much and i’ve told my mum and she just thinks it was normal childhood things and part of growing up but i can’t let any of it go, my mind feels so messy, and some of the memories are blurry and it’s making me feel horrible and i’m so distressed i just want this to be over and im worried to talk to a therapist because of what they might say or think, can anyone relate?

Anyone ever journaled or wrote down their intrusive thoughts? How did they do it so it doesn’t seem like writing the thoughts down on a piece of paper make it seem like they are more real or true

I have a fear of losing control, and a fear of schizophrenia. so when I feel tired or fatigue or just any emotion really I think it’s a sign I’m going to lose control and then it makes me so anxious to the point I have a panic attack over the feeling of feeling tired. Anytime I feel a change in my body I take that as a sign I’m going to go insane? which makes me feel more anxious and makes it feel more real! Does anyone else feel like this or have any advice:( currently feeling weird and so anxious all cause I feel sleepy/ tired. It’s exhausting

I'm 17,and My mind is obsessed with the idea that I could get a neurological disease and everytime I think it I have to touch a picture of God in my room(I'm Hindu) and it makes me feel safe. I used to pray for 3 hours a night but lately I've been shortening it by saying 'promise to God to pray at exactly 12 and be done by 12:05' for example and this has relieved so much anxiety. Well today, I was really anxious and I decided to put some make up on and quickly take it off before bed but I took it off 1 minute too late and now I'm scared God will punish me because why am I even wanting to practice make up when it's a materialstic thing and this is 'Maya' translated to desires ignorance in my religion. I've gone through so many phases where aive tried to give up Maya and sacrifice things like chocolate, music even studying because it's a desire and I think that by sacrificing this I can make things happen like going to my dream uni. I feel awful right now because I went to pray too late and it was all because of Maya.

I saw a TikTok of this really cute black baby and I had a really racist intrusive thought and now I’m worried I’m a really racist awful person. I’m convinced I commented something racist and I keep looking back at the comments to make sure I didn’t. I’m in college and I have to go down and get food at the dining hall soon because it’s going to close in not too long and the majority of people who work there are black and i‘m really worried if I do go get food I’m going to say something really awful and racist to them. I need to get food but I’m sooooo scared I’m going to call them the n word or something