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working to conquer OCD
Does anyone else think of their ocd as like, a separate entity? I do, and I think it’s helped me a lot. I feel like it kind of is a parasite sometimes, especially with intrusive thoughts. What do you guys think?
the past week has been one of the hardest weeks of my life i tried to kms a couple times and i just cut myself really bad but what caused this all is my mind saying ive done something wrong even though i haven’t. I’ve asked many people they said i haven’t done anything wrong i even asked my parents and i know the answer but my body can’t seem to accept it. There’s genuinely something so wrong with me and i’m so tired of living.
In the past few months, I've been worried about the body proportions of women I imagine. I'm confused, and I don't know what ERP for my niche case looks like. It might sound silly, but I appreciate your advice. I've had HOCD symptoms since 2020 though I didn't know much about what OCD was or that my condition was OCD until 2023. My main compulsion has been to "correct" intrusive homosexual images by replacing them with a heterosexual one. However, as I learned about OCD and realized themes such as ZOCD and POCD exist, these themes eventually began my main OCD content. Lately I've been worrying about the incorrect, too small body proportions of the images of adult women, sexual orsexualthat instantly come to my mind. That's especially distressing when I build these images during wanted sexual fantasies or, admittedly, when doing other OCD compulsions. Sometimes it feels like a bully in my brain is making these images small or makes it tiring for my brain to maintain a more realistic (at least as I precieve it) body proportion, although my aim is to imagine adult women. Sorry for the long text. My question is, how does ERP look like in my case? Am I to let these images go on, including in the middle of my fantasies? How about when these images are themselves OCD compulsions? What if I let them go on and they become smaller and smaller, and I begin enjoying and preferring those smaller proportions? I've been avoiding (and also not much interested in) my sexual imaginations mainly due to this. Is not engaging in these imaginations avoidance? Again, thanks for reading this and advice.
I found out my mom was molested by her dad when she was little. My parents got a divorce when I was a teen and my grandpa became like my dad. He was a well respected man and he was a little weird but I chalked it up to him just being a dirty old man (when he would joke about things). My mom started having flash backs later in life and blocked them out. I was so sad to know this happened to her and that it happened at the hands of some I loved and trusted. Now I want to be a mom but I am afraid of someone hurting my kids. My grandpa has passed away but I have OCD and my intrusive thoughts are: what if someone I love and trust does this to my kids? I love and trust my husband and he is an amazing guy for an example but I over analyze things like the dog sitting on his lap and stuff like that. We talked about me going to therapy and my husband said hell come with me but I keep having bad experiences with therapists so I was wondering if anyone has any advice for me? I want to be a good mom and let the past go but im worried im going to overanayalze everything and that scares me because my friends, family, and husband don’t deserve me thinking horrible things
Hello, I'm new here. I went through a really intense and traumatic breakup about a year ago and I'm currently working with my university for a SA/Title IX case against him as he was abusive in varying ways and very manipulative. I have the need to check and search the parking lots, the spaces around me, etc.. for him and his very distinct car frequently. It's been getting a lot better as I'm seeking therapy and back on medications. But some days I still have frequent urges to check, I feel like if I don't check, then something bad is going to happen. Aka, I'll run into him, and I fear he'll hurt me or say something to purposefully distress me. I get incredibly nauseous, panicked, obsessive overthinking if I don't which doesn't allow me to be present and learn in classes. Something that has helped me cope is having headphones and sticking to a strict routine and limiting my time on campus.
I just remembered that at school we have swimming class every couple of months. But now I suddenly started questioning „what if during swimming clash I had touched another classmate inappropriately?“ and now I keep trying to remember when I had swimming class. I know that up until 2021 I was always around my sister and like the years before that too and there I was quite damn young so I wouldn’t say anything like this would just cross my mind. I also remember that, due to covid, we didn’t have swimming class until idk, maybe 2022. I also just now remembered I had sth on my foot that I was really embarrassed abt and I didn’t want to get bullied so I skipped as often as I could back then and even had sth from my doctor so I could skip. Basically I was at swimming class maybe 2-4 times that entire year. Then, the same in 2023. I also was around one of my friends at the time then so there wasn’t a lot that could’ve possibly happened either. But now that I remembered the time in 2022 that I skipped so often that I had to show up on some Friday for a few minutes after school to get a grade and now I’m worried sth might’ve happened there. And like, back then there were some children in that pool too bc the teacher had some children’s swimming training for like 5th graders or sth. And now I keep thinking „what if I had touched one of them inappropriately?“ and like the thing is that from my memories I remember that I didn’t even get close to them bc I was in the 3 meters deep part of the pool and they in the 1,50 meters deep one. So basically there was no way for me to get close to them at all. I also only was in that part of the pool for like 1-1,5 minutes, I then switched to another part in which there was some kind of border thing to the other part of the pool. I also of course was only swimming normally and I remember I still had the thing on my foot so all I thought abt was trying to have nobody see it and there were two swimming teachers, they probably would’ve seen if I had actually done anything, right? I know this all just doesn’t make sense but I keep thinking „but what if?“ even tho I have no memory to doing that at all.
I try it but it makes me feel overwhelmed and the i feel like im starting to believe the thoughts. I also realized i need to let myself fall into full blown up panic, bacause some of the thoughts come with the panic and i dont like that i have to let myself go into paniking cause there i just believe the thoughts or im avoiding and make it worse. Also i dont like that i have to accept and let every emotion to be, im a sensitive person or im am now cause i have anxiety, but i could cry for anything, even my dog makes me cry cause im so happy for him, i see something on the tv or i think about something that its wonderful and beautiful and it make me cry. If i let myself feel everything i become an emotional baggage, and i eill be lead by my emotions. In that state i just feel like the thoughts are real and then i have to get out which is avodiance... i don not understand
I deal with false memories, I’ve had a few that have been pretty bad, but normally I’ve been able to tell myself “hey, this is false.” I remembered something a few months ago, and a genuinely don’t know if it’s false? When I first remembered it, it never crossed my mind at all that it could be false. I just assumed it was entirely true. But now that I’ve been thinking about it, there is a possibility that it could be false. It supposedly took place last year during the fall or winter, I remembered it last august. It’s an extremely extremely specific scenario, and the memory is kinda complex. I also vaguely remember remembering it earlier, but it now affecting me that much? Although that could have just been having intrusive thoughts related to the subject. With my confusion on whether or not this memory is false of course comes my ocd shoving it’s way into everything. Something my brain has been telling me recently is “if the memory could be false then maybe only parts of it are and you’re actually just a terrible person” (that would make more sense if I explained the memory). And now I have to keep reminding myself that it’s either all true or it’s all fake, because our ocd would not produce the “better part” of the memory without producing the “worse part”.
So many posts I’ve seen say ‘treat the thought as a thought and behave based on your values’ I have SOOCD. It’s so confusing I have no idea what my values are anymore. Do I assume whatever i was into before ocd started is my values? Like I don’t think I have any real ambition/want for a relationship with a guy, but I’m so numb, it’s been so long, I have no idea? What to do?
My new physician who is evaluating me for OCD asked about if I hear voices. I immediately got anxious and still am 24 hours later. I am deathly afraid of going schizophrenic and losing my grip on reality so my intrusive thoughts are very much surrounded my sounds , imagining I’m hearing a voice , being hyperaware , or being afraid of silence. When I said no I do not have auditory hallucinations I then begin to tell myself that I was lying and I probably am having hallucinations but just sane enough to lie about it? I am in a cycle of self doubt and it is driving me nuts. Why can’t I just take my diagnosis for what it is? And believe it is the right one?
Hey! Has anyone experienced worse anxiety and intrusive thoughts when first starting medications? The morning anxiety is the worst!
I seem to ruminate so much with POCD and analyse everything about myself, my life and even everyone around me. I’m even afraid to open up to a therapist or even to see my family because I don’t want to talk about it. My ocd feels different to everyone else and that’s scares me. I don’t have sexual images I just have the negative thoughts and fears of becoming a P or the fear of liking children. This SUCKS!!!! I even get suicidal thoughts playing in the background aswell. Is it possible to have 2 subtypes at the same time?
I downloaded this app yesterday hoping to find a bit of comfort among other people struggling with the same things. I’m really scared to post but I’m trying anyway. I have two really bad intrusive thoughts that make my life very difficult. One is this intrusive memory of when I was dog sitting when I 14. I was impatient so I pulled on the dogs leash (as his owner said I could tug on it and he would come). But he didn’t move and think I pulled way too hard and I’ve been wracked with guilt. This was 5 years ago and it still haunts me. I can hear the dog coughing and I think it was from me pulling too hard. About 6 months later he passed away and I fear greatly that something i did caused it even though he was old. In my head I wonder if I’m a truly evil person to hurt something smaller and less powerful than me. I didnt intend to hurt him but I worry I hurt him more than I know. It haunts me. I go over and over the memory in my head with seeing which parts are really, wondering if I’m evil. I also deal with POCD. I am in college currently but I feel like I’ve aged ten years since the onset of my symptoms. It’s taken my joy and innocence from me. I just want to live a good life and be a good person but my brain is malfunctioning. In addition I am frustrated bc my psychiatrist did not diagnose me with OCD but said all my symptom were due to GAD even though I meet all of the requirements including cycles of intrusive thoughts and compulsions( though mine are mostly mental). It’s difficult not having an official name for what I going through.
Hello everyone, I just started going to the university psychologist and she told me she is going to test me about having anxiety and stuff but I haven’t told her that I think I may have ocd and that I want her to tell me if the possibility is real and that I have ocd or not. I didn’t tell her because it was my first session and I don’t trust her enough for me to open and really talk about what is happening to me The issue is that, everyday I think i do better but then my mind thinks/ says/ makes me feel like something happened and I just didn’t realize, but the feeling is there On my session I met her and she met me, and at one point I told her that I have intrusive thoughts and the feeling that I have hurt people without realizing, but not remembering it, not feeling it, and she told me that intrusive thoughts are intrusive! Opposite to who I am, and that I shouldn’t be worrying about accidentally hurting people when I know deep inside I didn’t, and that if they get mad for nothing is their problem, not mine The issue is that, idk if someone else struggles with this but my real/false memories are not about “not remembering having told horrible things to your best friend two years ago” are about, “physically having hurt someone two seconds ago when I stretched my hand, even though I didn’t feel the hitting, I asked them if I got them hit and they said no, and that is impossible to my hand to reach the person because there is two meters of difference between us” Or maybe, another situation to example my fear Let’s say that someone is on the corner of a room. I enter the room and sit in the other opposite corner of the room, while I sit a vivid image of me traveling to the other corner of the room and slapping the person pops in my head and now I’m convinced that I hit the person even though I don’t remember standing up from the chair, walking to the corner and slapping the person, there is just the mental image and the feeling that I did it that convinces me that I did that and now I’m ashamed to the person I supposedly hit and I can’t look them into their eyes Idk if I explained myself (English is not my maternal language) but I really, really don’t know if someone is having the same “intrusive false memories” that are immediately and that makes you have 0 trust in your senses
Does “mentally reviewing” mean you’re trying to prove/disprove a thought? (Depending on what it is…) like I’m trying to figure out the definition to it because when it says mentally reviewing I feel like that’s me doing something wrong like making it out like I’m purposefully wanting to think about something. When in reality when I mentally review anything, I don’t want to think that stuff and ocd cause me so much fear and doubt that I feel like I have to prove/disprove the thought… is that what it is, or is there a deeper meaning to it??
Hi! I’ve struggled with bouts of disordered eating for years. It comes in waves and then settles down again. Today I realized it might actually be my ocd that causes it. The intrusive thought is gaining weight and the compulsion is the disordered eating/purging behaviors. Has anyone ever struggled with this? Could this be ocd?
im just losing my mind... im so scared of minors lying about their age online... i dont go on dating apps, and I was on an NSFW discord server (with age verification) and literotica, a chat site where you have to be 18+ to access the chat and the site... Im so scared and anxious of unknowingly messaging minors online when i dont ever want to... I havent been on these places in a while... but im so so so scared of minors lying about their age... it honestly just terrifies the everloving crap out of me... i dont ever want to ever be involved with men or minors in any way... god im so so scared... i dont have reasons to doubt most. The ones I found suspicious were those who were unverified or suddenly left the server... this one girl gave me her birthday, so that wasnt that suspicious... but then when i asked this one girl what date she was born on, she just said "13😭" before reiterating that she was 18 later on and once beforehand... im just honestly so scared and anxious rn... idk if they were lying or not... thats whats scaring me... ive only talked to verified women as far as i know... and i get so scared about minors online lying about their age, and it makes me ruminate on whether or not this happened to me... Ive seen so many horror stories of minors lying about their age and it just terrifies me to no end...
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