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Is it common with OCD to have intrusive thoughts that are delusional in nature and disturbing because you realize that they’re delusional?

hi all, does anyone else feel like the ocd battle and instrusive thoughts are like a roller coaster? some days/weeks i feel like im overcoming it and some weeks im completely losing it and breaking down again. i really don't want to be on medicine because ive had bad experiences with ssris but just kinda looking to see if anyone on here had the same experiences but got on something else that really helped? im having a hard time pushing through right now.

I always come on here to read but never write. Sometimes tho, I think life reminds you to be grateful for how far you come. So I thought I’d share some things that have helped me with my journey of understanding ocd if anyone needs that glimmer of hope. - Supplemention not for everyone ofc but when I was dying on the floor last year. A supplement called Sam-e which had studies showing it can help with ocd has changed my life. It helped me separate my thoughts from myself more and made me feel sane and very stable. Highly recommend also gaba and Nac have done wonders. -Overstimulation This big them for me lately but when I’m scrolling on tiktok or constantly on electronic. I feel like it makes me very wired and super overstimulated which makes me get more worked up when thoughts and feelings arise. Anxiety is caused of overstimulation of body when too much energy is present it starts producing thought. So when I limit it and try to keep present in what in my day, I find myself stable. -Sleep This goes hand with overstimulation, your body and mind work best when it’s calm not when it’s over energized trust me. -meditation I find this very overlooked. Buddhist thought meditation has helped me in those moments where I feel myself spiraling. 10 to 15 mins can make it all go away. -present This one changed so much of my perspective. I never really understood when people would say look at what’s real around you, I even doubted that. But one day I was going thru tough theme and I remember saying I’m in a car right now with my legs crossed starting out the window driving thru my town listening to Fred again having thought about ***** and it’s making me feel ****. Something about naming as many things as you can and really grounding yourself can sometimes snap you back into reality. A good book called untethered soul really dives into understanding of presence and thought being observed but not absorbed. -Let it be I never really understood the when ppl said tell the thought if it happens it be ok. That one never worked for me. But letting it be did. I could have a really scary thought, to me it’s more like a mind wired thought it feels like. That’s where the need to fix or solve is and I just let my mind repeat the thought and do absolutely nothing. I’ll be very conscious of doing nothing back and really feeling those body feelings get anxious and worried and they learn to let themselves go. Nothing always the best. Well I don’t wanna make this post too long so I’ll stop there atm. But remember that everyone journey different, be patient and walk in strength and pride. You are loved even if you can’t see, feel or hear it. Just know.

does anyone ever struggle with intrusive thoughts and even feelings of your spouse or SO dying suddenly? it’s been a theme for me the past few weeks and i’m not sure what’s causing it. he’s perfectly healthy and fine but it’s been so intense that i’ll just sit there and cry and cry and feel such intense grief.

i think what’s keeping me from getting better is that it feels too real and i desperately feel like i need to get rid of the thoughts and prove them wrong so i don’t become them, but like, it never made me feel better. and i saw a lot of stuff on reddit with people who are miserable because they didn’t try or get treatment and it makes me want to change so i don’t become like those people on reddit. reddit in total is so triggering and negative and so many cynics and losers spend all their time there and now i think im ready to just not become that. so im gonna try. as im writing this the thoughts are bombarding me telling me that im wrong or im in denial and these thoughts are the truth and i am lying to myself. but i know ocds tricks and im ready to feel better. ima have hope.

I have had ocd since I was about 11, but just recently was diagnosed with it. My current obsession is that I could be a narcissist. I do have some narcissistic tendencies, but I read that everyone does. I would say I have empathy, I get incredibly sad whenever my family fights, I can't see people cry… I have the urge to hug them. I love listening to people and helping them … but then I also snap at people and I sometimes get jealous, I don’t think i am better than everyone, not in the slightest, I genuinely feel like I don’t deserve the life I have, but the other day I basically had a thought that I was better looking than my cousin. I am so scared to be a narcissist because I don’t want to hurt the people I love and I also don’t want to be manipulative, I want to be a good person. l

I really hate being forced to socialize with people, specifically family members who genuinely do nothing but gaslight you with their narcissistic behavior. My OCD comes with anxiety.. I never feel like I’m enough, I always have this need to prove I don’t need help because anytime I came across vulnerable, I was treated like I was a problem but I feel like I’m forced to baby feed my own MOTHER who refuses to get help with her OWN OCD. I just can’t rn. I don’t know if I’m venting or having ruminating thoughts about having to mask how I feel when I’m CONSTANTLY feeling like my feelings don’t matter to a person that thinks her feelings are the ONLY ones that are relevant. Someone please read this so I can get a better understanding of how to deal with being overstimulated by being FORCED to socialize in a FAKE environment.

I feel like giving up. I don’t want to but it’s so hard and the only person that can make it better is me. But I’ve given up so many things that are important to me because of my OCD. I’ve isolated myself so much and given up on my dreams because of all this fear. Sometimes I feel like I need to protect everyone else from me and my doubts and insecurities. I feel like I’m hurting everyone or have the potential to let everyone down. I hate this.

I've always had my intrusive thoughts follow me into my dreams but recently the WORST intrusive thoughts literally play out in my dreams and I don't know what to do with myself. I can't tell anyone what the dreams were about... I can't even write it down its so bad. It's just stuck in my head forever and giving me more reasons to hate myself.

the obsession got so bad that i just cant tell if i am still ocd or just accepting my fate and becoming what i fear most. i cant tell whats going on anymore. im numb, i dont feel like this is a dire situation for my morals anymore, im just so apathetic now. i dont even know what im feeling, if i want these things or not, i dont know

My ocd always makes me think the worst and tells me that the only explanation for things is that I did something horrible. I had an incident years ago that has made my life miserable. I guess it’s a real event and possibly false memory as well. When my son was little he would crawl into bed with me sometimes. One morning I got up and he was still asleep. I put my daughter on the school bus and went back upstairs to my room and he was awake sitting up wrapped in the blanket. I said good morning and told him to come downstairs with me and get breakfast like I always did but when he got out of bed he didn’t have his underwear on. I yelled at him demanding to know why he took his underwear off. He was 2 or 3 and he pointed at me and yelled “You!”. My ocd immediately kicked in and made me think the worst that I must have done something horrible to him in my sleep. Why would he say that? 😪. I don’t want to live thinking I could have done something so horrible. It has made my life so hard to live. Now all these years later since my memory has faded my ocd brings it back up and tells me maybe I was drinking and did something to him and just don’t remember. People without ocd probably wouldn’t think much about these kinds of situations and would just shrug them off as weird things kids do and say or that happen in life and parenthood but my ocd makes me believe I did something horrible and makes me hate myself and living. 😞

Has anyone who started ERP therapy felt that your ocd or anxiety has gotten worse (at first) before it gets better?

I’m crying as I’m typing this and drinking because my ocd has convinced me I raped my friend 5 times. She doesn’t believe me. It’s because she was asleep for 4 out of the 5 times and it’s killing me. It’s strangling me that I might’ve done these heinous acts. I feel sick to my stomach. I’m scared I’m so scared because I DONT WANT TO RAPE ANYONE. And my brain is telling me I did it and I believe my brain I believe it I believe it happened and I’m scared I’m so scared please please please help me I’m so scared

Ive been struggling with keeping myself from not snowballing bad thoughts and memories since a night ago and rn i was having such a good time with my family :( i was playing games with my sibling and watching game play of a game we like i was talking with my other sibling i was having such a good time but then my brain reminded me “hey you cant have fun you’ve done so many bad things you shouldn’t be having a good time” and i felt so sad-i still feel sad-i feel gross and ugly and disgusting-why cant i just be happy? To the ppl that some how worked through this kinda thing how did you do it? How do you cope? how do you remind yourself to be happy?

I cry everyday thinking of things. Please help and share if this is truly what OCD does. I keep thinking in my past I was pregnant. I remember being paranoid but i do not remember taking a pregnancy test. Ocd keeps putting things in my head such as “you did a pregnancy test” or “you had a miscarriage” I tell my mom this and she is my biggest supporter but I feel like I was because i’m starting to believe it and give up.

how did y’all resist confessing things and reduce feeling that nasty deep pitted guilt and shame?

Since im working in a christian band(as a backstage helper and now am also managing the social media platforms of that band) i noticed that since than i became really hard on myself on the things i can do and not. I have that "in that position i shouldnt do certain things, cause i have responsibility, i dont want to ruin the name of that band" and this gave me so much pressure. I want to work as a christian song writer, i would like to write non christian songs too, and this is where the problem begins. Now i have this "only God" mentality, that for us christians everything should be about God, some worldly song are bad cause its against God, love songs are bad cause its lust and this is just about songs, but ive fallen into this rabbit hole that everything that its not about God its against him. Im so afraid that in my position as christian i will show a bad picture and thats a big pressure. So i will share what happened. With my friends we have fun by writing worldly songs, like parodies, we making fun of what todays worldy music is about (not every just some rap, pop music), how the songs doesnt have any value, its about money, how much money i have, girls, evers girl wants us for the money, i have luxury cars, i live the best life, and from all of this suddenly it turns to my heart is cold, nobody loves me, im alone, and making fun of this sometimes helps me to see behind all this fake happiness that this lifestyle will give, that i have money i have girls im so cool, im the king but deep down im suffering... so it helps me realizing this, and again we dont do that as we value this or we live like that, its a parody we show eachother how stupid these style of music is and its sad that the world likes this, but again not all of them cause since then i met non christian people who thinks the same about those songs. So this also made me feel sinful that we write these songs and we shouldnt do this. Yesterday i wrote a lyrics that was a little bit different than the other ones, it wasnt about money and how cool i am, it was about love, breakup and i didnt wrote that from my heart cause i dont have those experience and i was focusing on making it like these non christian breakup songs, and it became actually good. Today just randomly i thought about i try to send it to someone cause it could be a good song, and also i would feel good if something i did wil become big. And here is the problem lies, i feel like this is egoistic and agaist God cause i did it cause i want this to be about me, that something i did becomes big and famous... I sended the lyrics to someone and i want expect it but imediatelly got a respons and they liked the lyrics and they will make a song with that, so do you think i was happy about it? Oh no... suddenly i got hit by shame and a big anxiety that what i did was not right as a christian. I made a non christian song thats against God cause its about love and breakup which in my mind is lust and I made that relevant... and a huge fear and guilt hitted me and since then im afraid i did something wrong, i just acted from my ego, for my good sake, it wasnt about God and im dissapointed about myself. I try to see it as this song isnt that bad its not about sin, sex and drugs, its just about breakup, but my mind says i just try to make it like sin i good... also the person i sended has sinful wordly songs too, but he has many romantic, more about love songs, but the thing that he has sinful music makes me feel so bad and dissapointed about myself. I contributed to sin... its bad cause here noone can help me, the first thing i got from my family was "then why you did it, you shouldve thought about that". And it made me fear more cause dont get the support i need. So i try to find the support here...

Anyone else get bad ocd after posting anything anywhere? It’s truly not because I care about what people think, it’s kind of more complicated. Like I think if I post it and feel a certain way while I post it or have certain thoughts, they are “stuck” inside the post and I’ll keep having them until I delete the post. If I give into this compulsion, I immediately feel better and like myself again. If not I’ll feel hot on my head, restless, have sweaty hands and feet, and feel nervous. I know this sounds very random and hard to believe. I think it is part of Pure O ocd, and a lot of my obsessions and compulsions are mental, and some are what I used to think of as “imaginary”, like visual things that are in my head. But also, when I resist doing this compulsion, things usually get better. It’s just harder to do on some days.

I had the worse OCD, like I can't even function nor move without breaking down and I can say that I've done a lot of self-harm. I experience all kinds/types of OCD and it was torturing. Then, I got this one-eyed rescue cat; I thought I rescued her, turns out she was the one rescuing me. A year after I got her, I got another cat (this time, a deaf one). They made my life worth living, seeing them makes me happy. I still experience some episodes and sometimes I regress but it wasn't as hard as before. Since the both of them have special needs, they are a bit more handful than the "normal" cats but doing tasks for them (e.g. preparing food, cleaning up, taking them to the vet regularly, bathing, grooming, and such other things) made my life meaningful! Maybe if you can get a pet, I suggest you get one! Adopting/Rescuing might help you and the animal you are getting. Have a blessed night! (or morning)

How can you tell the difference between actual memories and false memory OCD? I try to do this but every time I do it my mind wonders off