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working to conquer OCD
It seems like the toughest thing is to continue my day and get out of bed even though I have intrusive thoughts. Starting to think my response of quiting or throwing the day away is my ritual that needs to end.
Sometimes i feel like i say its ocd to everything when i shouldnt, and i get triggered when i hear ocd is when you feel the urgency to solve the thought, sometimes i call the random negative thoughts about myself ocd too cause it feels like i have to think about this. However now idk what happened, i just remember i got stressed last week and it just got stronger and steonger and now i feel like the whole world is against me, i get criticism from everywhere and then for days the situations that happened or the things others said keeps spinning in my mind, and it makes me feel like i did something wrong and i should feel guilt. Im really reactive to everything right now, i get angry really easily, i used to not care about some things but now even a little spark will start a fire... its annoying, however i still say this is part of ocd. I really feel that i want my old self back and when i have this reactive state i beat myself up cause i dont like this, i want my normal self back. I think this ads more to the problem.... what should i do, any advices?
I've experienced a fairly wide range of ocd symptoms throughout my life... Contamination ocd, magical thinking, checking window locks, intrusive thoughts about cheating on exams, obsession with praying, several months of chronic guilt when I was 12 for breaking a school rule, body symptoms where I would have to jump, or contort my body, move my head etc. I'm 31 now and started dating a really wonderful woman 4 months ago. We clicked fairly quickly with similar interests, and had been having a really great relationship... a couple of weeks ago we discussed the types of things we would like in our futures e.g. marriage, desire to be parents one day. We found out we both have similar life goals etc. and it felt really great. I've never had so much fun talking with someone, hanging out or been so impressed by their character and compassion. It felt so easy to fall in love once I felt safe. A few days after checking in with one another about life goals, I was having a bit of a stressful night unrelated to the relationship. I visited my gf after her work shift and noticed I was more anxious in my body than usual. We meditated together and then put on a tv show, while I was watching the show I had this thought flash into my head saying "what if you don't love your gf as much as you could, and deep down you are obsessed with women who are white / from the same country as you" the thoughts flashed again the next day, i ruminated and "cancelled out" the thought by thinking of my ex as an example that i would never choose anyone over my gf. the following days i felt consumed by guilt and shame, thinking of myself as xenophobic and obsessed with the idea i am racist. I selfishly confessed to her about everything, without considering what burden it could place on her. i felt like i was lying and she should know the truth but now i feel more selfish for sharing. my gf is south american. we are both white / of european descent but i feel very much aware that she can face xenophobic discrimination where we live). I've been in love before but have never felt so confident about a relationship. She studies psychology and researched ocd the night I told her everything and has been really understanding and supportive. I love her so much and feel so committed, but keep feeling as though I must be xenophobic and even racist due to the problematic nature of the intrusive thought i had. inhave been feeling like I do not deserve her love, or to feel pleasure like reading books or even just enjoying working. my logical mind says of course ocd attacks your values in creative and messed up ways but i can't help but think that's a stretch from typical rocd and maybe i am a really bad person. has anyone ever experienced anything similar or the brain being extra evil / tricky?
I’ve been struggling a lot recently with my anxiety and ruminating about a health issue that I’m reminded almost constantly about. Has anyone dealt with this type of thing and if so how did you manage? I’m used to more intrusive thoughts and “pure” OCD but this is different. 😩
Having ocd makes me always think the worst and that the only explanation is that I did something horrible. I have had 2 incidents over the years that have made my life miserable. I guess they are real events and possibly false memories as well. When my son was little he would crawl into bed with me sometimes. One morning I got up and he was still asleep. I went about my morning tasks. When I went back upstairs to my room he was awake sitting up wrapped in the blanket. I said good morning and told him to come downstairs with me and get breakfast like I always did but when he got out of bed he didn’t have his underwear on. I yelled at him demanding to know why he took his underwear off. He was 2 or 3 so he could talk but not fully yet and he pointed at me and yelled “You!”. My ocd immediately kicked in and made me think the worst that I must have done something horrible to him in my sleep. Why would he say that? 😪The other was years later when my daughter was younger she used to crawl into bed with me at night alot. One night I woke up to her saying “mommy” and I was really tired so I just remember saying “sorry” and moving over and going back to sleep. I know it was probably nothing more than I just rolled over on her or something like that but my ocd keeps telling me I must have done something horrible. I don’t want to live thinking I could have done something horrible. It has made my life so hard to live. Now all these years later since my memory has faded my ocd tells me maybe I was drinking and just don’t remember doing something horrible . People without ocd probably wouldn’t think much about these situations and would just shrug them off as weird things kids do and say or that happen in life and parenthood but my ocd makes the worst possible scenario out of everything and makes me hate myself and living. 😞
Ive gotten over some bad ocd episodes that have lasted months and months and i was so so happy when i realized it was achievable to overcome such an illness,but this time around it feels different i thought i had gone through everything but no theres always more,theres always the next intrusive thought,my intrusive thought this time that got me back in the dark ocd hole was,”what if i just stopped thinking”,it sounds so stupid and i didnt pay it much mind at first but then it popped back into my head and it told me “but what if everytime im about to think about something,i realize it and stop thinking about what i was thinking about.”this has made me feel so alienated in life,life feels grey and dull ive never had a thought stick around for so long its been 3 months and i havent heard anyone have anything similar too this i wake up every day scared of whag else my mind can bring to me to torment me and its so depressing in here.i cry a lot now thinking about the old me i used to be when i was happy and ocd free but I genuinely dont think i can live like this for long.Sorry for writing a whole essay but its the only way i could express what im feeling right now plz say something below.
How do I cope with intrusive thoughts that are provoked by things that are out of my control? Like if if I see someone I know. That’s out of my control. But it adds to my thoughts and fears no matter what. How do I know whether the thoughts I have are real or fake. It’s killing me I just wanna be happy
My son has been diagnosed with OCD, but the therapist that we are seeing doesn’t specialize in OCD. They put him on medication that caused severe side effects. After we stopped the medication, they just seem to almost wash their hands of the situation. This is a center with therapists, psychiatrists, an inpatient unit, a detox, a built-in pharmacy, etc. Yet, they can’t help my child unles it’s through medication. I’m fine with meds if they improve quality of life, but they harmed my child when he tried their first line of defense med for OCD in children. The other meds are in the same class, and we just can’t risk what happened to happen again. Just a little while ago my son and his dad were playing a video game. I guess my son hit a wrong button by mistake. This sent him on a loop of having to reset the game a handful of times. He needed my husband to reset his end of the game too. My husband didn’t understand what was happening, and this led to more emotion and frustration from my son. At this point my husband is upset, so I come in to defuse the situation. I’ve learned that the calmer I am, the better. My husband is trying, but he gets overwhelmed with the behavior. This is our life on repeat. I am so afraid for my child. We need help. Does anyone have any advice in dealing with OCD in children. I just want my son comfortable and happy again. Thank you, Christine
tried eating some chips after more than a year of avoiding them (fearing something bad will happen if i do) and got extremely anxious so i left gc with my friends for 5 days and forbade myself from texting my wife until tomorrow to “balance” it. this is actually so fucked up but i can’t stop these thoughts, i don’t feel like i’m in control at all
After many years of thinking I might have ocd, it’s official. It is nice to feel seen and to have an answer finally but it’s also really scary, mostly because I’m about to start Prozac and I’ve never taken any mental health medications. Anyone have experiences to share? I’m so scared of the side effects but I know I need to start something. My provider suggested finding a support group as I have no family and friends to support me during this time, right now I’m feeling very scared and alone 😔
Have you guys ever been on a couple dates and out of nowhere they say they are not feeling it. Like basically ghost you. My OCD want me to get and answer on what I did wrong or etc. I sent out one message but I am restraining myself to give in my compulsions to find an answer. It’s hurts so much 😢
hi everyone, welcome to my first post. i’m not exactly sure where to start so i’ll just share a little bit of my story. i always considered myself “normal” growing up, no issues mentally. then after covid hit, i was 17 when it started, i was severely depressed, and anxious; but it was manageable because it was situational, the world had been put on pause so it was easy for me to understand why i was feeling those ways. then it became general. the depression and anxiety weren’t geared towards covid or the loss of a normal life anymore, now it felt permanent. then, the OCD behaviors slowly started showing up. the urges and thoughts grew more and more intense and now it’s a couple years later and i’m 21 now and i learned to to pull myself out of my dark places but the one thing i can’t shake is the OCD. it paralyzes me, i live my life in fear and anger because i can’t go more than an hour without doing something because i feel like i HAVE to or else something bad will happen, or i’ll just simply feel so uncomfortable if i don’t complete the urge that it will consume my mind if i don’t give in. i have reoccurring urges that i know will come up when i do certain things (like i have to click my phone on and off and set and then unset my alarms 3 times before i go to bed and if i don’t do it perfectly or it doesn’t feel right then i have to do it again, BUT i don’t like the number 6 so if i do my alarms 3 more times then 3 + 3 = 6 and that feels uncomfortable. therefore i have to do it 3 additional times so that it lands on 9) OR i’ll get 1 time urges that just happen out of nowhere in the moment and i don’t do them religiously. if i were to make a list of every urge that i do everyday, it would take me years to write all of that. it is absolutely exhausting. i’m so tired of living this way and feeling like a prisoner in my own body. i feel like i’m a puppet and something is controlling me 24/7. i want control of my life again. i don’t want to be constantly consumed by these thoughts and urges. i don’t want to feel like my family is going to die just because i thought that in my head (it makes me scared even just typing that right now because i feel like it’s going to happen because of me). i live all day every day like this and i’m just drained. i really could use some help, i haven’t been able to see anyone about this and i don’t know where to start. please leave any advice on how you guys deal with your OCD and soothe your mind. i just want to be at peace in my own head. thank you guys so much for reading, it feels good to get this off my chest.
Feel like I may have done something that has harmed someone. I’ve been doing all the research on the legality today and even talked to the person about it and they said they don’t really care. It was 4 years ago and I can’t find anything about the statute of limitations on the crime so I feel like I should just tell the police now :(
What to do? So now my mother is refusing my OCD therapy, despite it's chronic from where it has been untreated so long. Not to mention its causes heart attacks and panic attacks and mental breakdowns. She's puts pressure on me. No Idea why I'm here? And why she even adopted me at all? For this? This is bs. The treatment I am getting. Not to mention when I admitted needing help, seeing doctors and getting treatment. Dakira then desides she does as well, I'm like okay, take me Seriously, this isn't fun, or, funny at all, I am on the edge of going so insane. My therapist thank goodness changed my appointment from 29th to the 16th and she acts as if this isn't something to care about...I'm done she can neglect me like she has been most all my life. But, to avoid my appointment schedule and important mental assessment artenuary is another. This is important to me, my health and my mental state of being, of that doesn't matter to her, I will call 911 and we can settle this in a court room. They will see my missed appointment and if I go off well, easy, she should have took me to my appointment,bout to ask to see if a friend can. This whole thing, her lack of support isn't safe on my end, I don't feel safe. Normally I don't talk at all, that's me .but, this is to much pressure. I'm about to go nuts Not only this, but I need meds and a better lifestyle than my living style now. I don't feel safe at all, she doesn't even know what OCD is and why people have it, say I don't clean? Yeah, because she doesn't give me my money enough to clean and doesn't understand noone can offord this mental illness. She doesn't get it's a struggle, doesn't try to help. She just sits on her ass watching TV and doing other things, not even asking, "Do you jeed anything?" I never cross her mind, she doesn't even get it, I fear my son's safety as he may have this as well, as for him I know he's safe since he is small it's easier to catch it and treat it. But, to do this, to love this way chronic with no medication is doing me in mentally and physically. It's too much to handle. So if I go nuts, it's not My fault.
Idk why OCD has latched onto my sister but she’s my other half & I started comparing us out the blue one day.. and the dogs go to her more so i’ve been feeling so rejected and low.. and my mind said well what if she wasn’t here anymore? i would never harm my sister or ever want to.. i really want to be okay again.. i was just okay a couple weeks ago and now im so sad & scared!
The last couple of days i’ve been able to keep my ocd at bay and have been ocd free but now i’m having ocd in my dreams. This is so upsetting. 😪 Does this happen to anyone else?
Is this OCD? My brain will always say “if you don’t do this certain thing then this will happen” none of the stuff ever happens if I don’t do it but I always end up with this terrible feeling for days from resisting the compulsion. I’m still ruminating on the same thing. Anyone else feel this too?
I’m 23 years old almost 24 and when I was 20 I was so obsessed with the idea of being an mma fighter so I trained for a bit and then almost had a fight and in the midst of training for it I started to get really really anxious and wasn’t really sure if I wanted to do it (not so sure I like actually fighting as much as the idea) I ended up not going through with the fight and after that everything went bad for a while with severe panic attacks and constantly searching google for answers and my girlfriend was studying a book about a psychopath and from that point on I was in distress that I was going to turn out like a pedo or killer constantly searching for answers trying to figure out what was going on cause the thought of harming someone made me ill and panic and cry for days on end. I finally got over it by working and I ended up starting training again and I fought once and lost and I had some anxiety towards it like normal but here I am in the midst of training again and now I am stuck on do I wanna do this do I like this or do I just like the idea of it and I’ve been having off an on serious anxiety about it and I’m not really sure I’m so confused and scared because I don’t want to regret not doing it but I can’t seem to figure out whether I enjoy doing it or if I just like the thought of it. I’m not sure if I actually have ocd never been diagnosed I have an appointment soon with someone who hopefully will help. Sorry for the long post but Idl what else to do
I believe I was in elementary school, maybe 5th grade? I already long had ocd at this point, especially the 'I have to do this specific thing or else this bad thing will happen'. I didn't know why this was or why I thought like this at the time. All I knew was I didn't want to be like this. I was already the werid loser who got severely bullied in school and my mom was really harsh on me talking about my feelings or any problems I had. No where in my life did I feel safe to tell anyone what I was thinking or how I was suffering. So, back to my experience. I was in 5th ish grade and my mom was taking us to Walmart. It was the middle of winter and I had an electric oil heater in my room. It was on 24/7 as we didn't have heating in the home (we grew up extremely poor). So I put on my boots and as I was putting them on I thought, "If I don't change into my other boots my oil heater will catch on fire." I decided finally to lwt this thought pass, acknowledge it but not do it and keep the boot I was place on, on. This was the first time I let the thought pass and not do what it wanted me to. We started to leave and I remembered to grab something from my room and much to my horror, the plug in to my oil heater was on fire. It was an electrical fire, I took off my hoodie and beat the fire out. I was able to unplug it and never told my parents what happened. This had made it extremely hard to ignore these thoughts even much much later on in life.
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