It seems like the toughest thing is to continue my day and get out of bed even though I have intrusive thoughts. Starting to think my response of quiting or throwing the day away is my ritual that needs to end.
Getting out of bed can be SO HARD sometimes. But it sounds like you're on the right track by letting go of the all-or-nothing thinking that the day is worthless/lost if it starts imperfectly with a struggle.
I’m not sure if my original comment went through. In the past, and even at times now I struggle with that cycle of giving in. With ocd it’s hard to ground yourself especially when the intrusive thoughts can be very triggering. I use the mantra a lot to bring a indifference point of view with my ocd, “I’m not a good or bad person.” To not limit who I am as a person. We are all human. I use stuffed animals for comfort when I freak out with my ocd. Finding things that can ground us is good too. I hope this helped!
I feel this so hard. Its been freezing cold out, I havent seen the sun yet n days. I have a good job that I can work from home when I want, but I just stay in my bed the whole time and take naps throughout the day. Ive been sleeping 15 hours a day lately. I dont want to die but id rather be asleep than deal with this. My wife is so upset.
@Ryan Mullen Yeah I hear ya Ryan . Im in florida its raining all the time. I dont have a good job or a relationship because of my ocd. I do work from home though and it seems thats the only time Im out of bed. Same with the rather be asleep every day I try to get up and get my day going. I never feel right so I never do. I guess have to do it no matter how I feel hopefully feel better later idk. Quiting seems to be my ritual that gets me anxiety relief.
Just feels like in this cycle of quiting getting relief then beating myself up because I quit.
I’m having a big OCD relapse and would like to hear anyone’s tips on how to be present and healthily deal with these intrusive thoughts and the “need” to preform compulsions. Thank you!!
I started dealing with OCD when I became fixated on health issues, particularly the fear of contracting a life-threatening disease. If I experienced any kind of medical symptom, no matter how small, that even remotely hinted at something potentially fatal, it would drive me crazy, and I couldn’t stop obsessing over it. Then one day, I started having intrusive thoughts about accidentally hitting someone with my car, and I would end up driving in circles to check if I had. Eventually, I found myself overwhelmed by a flood of new obsessive thoughts and compulsions. One day, while I was at the park, a squirrel came near me, and for some reason, I felt like it attacked me. I Googled it and learned that squirrels could carry rabies, which spiraled me into a deep fear of rabies. I became consumed with the thought I received a bite from a squirrel, raccoon, or bat any time I’m in areas that trigger me. It started off only being inside then transferred to even being in my own home. This made me obsess over every physical sensation in my body, compulsively checking to make sure nothing was wrong. One compulsion that I hated the most would to be putting rubbing alcohol on me to make sure that I had no open wounds. Every day feels like I’m walking around in a fog of anxiety, constantly worrying that I won’t even make it to old age. Sometimes, it gets so overwhelming that I just want it all to end. It stresses me so bad at times to where my brain feels like I’ve been studying all day.
some days I wake up with so much dread and guilt. It makes it so hard to keep going. I open my eyes and I’m hit with a wave of nausea and terror. I feel ashamed of my compulsions and my OCD. I feel like a monster for my checking compulsions. For momentarily sexualizing things that shouldn’t be sexualized out of anxiety. I’m ashamed of a lot that I give into because of anxiety. Confessing things that are meaningless to my boyfriend. I feel so awful and unworthy of existing and of love. I feel hopeless I don’t want to keep pushing, the more I push the more meta my OCD becomes and the more guilt I feel for this mental illness. The more confusing it becomes to do ERP. If compulsions are a choice, they feel like life or death and it’s driving me insane, I beat myself up so badly over them I’m scared of compulsions, I’m scared of thoughts, I’m scared to be awake, I’m even scared of sleeping because my intrusions and compulsions haunt me there too. I spend my dreams trying to explain or justify my OCD and compulsions to people. I’m exhausted, I want this to stop so badly. My severe OCD isn’t feeling any less severe and it’s been months. I don’t want to keep questioning my every move but I’m so hyperaware of everything I do. I’m so tired. Some days I don’t even have tears to cry with. I’m just so full of despair and shame
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