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I felt like my OCD was in control for a while about a year and a half or so. Recently i’ve had a flare up and i have been very anxious. I have mental compulsions mainly. I want to hear about anyone else’s experiences with a flare up?

does any one else have an intrusive thought and you go over it in your head and try to see if you react in a good or bad way? i’ve been having bad intrusive thoughts but i sometimes have this feeling inside that i like it? and i feel it’s right and i agree inside but my other thoughts are saying no i hate it ?!

Hello all! So I’m taking Clomipramine as well as managing OCD via ERP practices I have learned in therapy. I know that Clomipramine is an old medication prescribed for OCD, but I wanted to share my experience and encourage anyone who is hesitant to take Clomipramine, or other antidepressants. You may react to medications differently than I did, but you don’t know if it works for you till you try it! I hope my story helps someone. (: Initially, I was hesitant to take any antidepressants, I didn’t like that some have lasting effects and it honestly scared me. I was also scared because as a Christian, some Christians were being very judgmental of people who take antidepressants. But, mental health is just as important as physical health, and if medication helps you or me, what others say about it absolutely does not matter. It’s okay to have Jesus AND a therapist. It’s okay to have Jesus AND antidepressants. I started off with Sertraline last year, and it did work great for my OCD, but I ended up being allergic to it and my lips and neck swelled a bit and I got rashes. It made me superrr tired when I took it for the week and a half that I was on it. I researched OCD medications online, and I decided that with my particular health conditions and allergies, I don’t want to take any more SSRI’s. I found Clomipramine, a TCA, and after researching it a little more, I decided with my doctor that I want to try it for my OCD. I started Clomipramine around March 2023, and the first week I took it I just noticed my pupils were very dilated (which made my vision a bit blurry) and I was also very tired. I started on a very low dose and slowly went up a little and it worked great for me. At first, my OCD felt a tiny bit heightened, and then after the first 2 weeks, it really started working for me. It made my OCD a LOT more manageable, and my intrusive thoughts felt like background noise. Flare-ups were almost nonexistent on Clomipramine. Other benefits I’ve noticed: I have PMDD, as well as mixed anxiety-depressive disorder, and Clomipramine has helped a ton with those for me. With my PMDD, I get binge eating urges around my period, and being on an antidepressant has helped suppress those urges, because in my case, the reason I binge eat is for a temporary serotonin boost. Being on a medication has really helped regulate that, my PMDD does still make me very emotional, but it’s SO much more manageable. I just wanna give people hope, even if you don’t take this particular medication, please know there’s no shame in taking medicine for your mental health. Your mental health is JUST as important as your physical health. Whatever you decide to do, I hope my story is encouraging to you. Much love and God bless. 🩷

Sometimes when your intrusive thoughts are especially loud or scary, you can start to feel "fused" with them, and it can be hard to separate yourself from the thoughts. If it feels like your thoughts represent who you are as a person, or if it gets challenging to differentiate between what the thoughts are saying and what you actually value or want, these are some ways that being fused with your thoughts can show up. In this case, adding some distance between your identity and your thoughts can be helpful. We call this “defusion.” ➡️ Swipe for some strategies to separate, or defuse, yourself from your intrusive thoughts!

I was spending time with my family and I wanted to give one of my family members a beer but when I handed it to my family member an intrusive thoughts came across my mind and it scared me because of the urge the thought generated which got me scared in the moment and I can’t stop thinking about it keeps ruminating in my mind. Any tips

I have had OCD my entire life and my obsessions have changed one after the other. As a child I was afraid I was going to overdose on pills, stab family members, then being transgender and gay, leaving stove or iron on, and now my dominant obsession is getting the wrong degrees and going to wrong school. I’m 39 and it’s very debilitating. When the intrusive thought comes about my education I feel so bad and I feel like I’m being held hostage. It’s very intense and I wasn’t able to hold a job and I contemplated suicide many times. I feel a tremendous amount of guilt because the major and university didn’t align with my values or who I really am. I would seek relief by googling the university etc. but it never helped. My OCD has taken over my entire life. Whenever I think about my education I don’t like it and it doesn’t sit well with me and I don’t even like discussing it with anyone. I feel dead inside and I feel like I’m just surviving. I carry a lot of guilt and shame and I always feel like the worst.

How do I stop the thoughts of false attraction towards a family member like my dad it won’t stop and I feel like such a bad and manipulative person

For the past 3 months, I’ve been dealing with a sort of forced exposure in my life that has involved two of my themes (relationship and moral scrupulosity) in a very real way. A mixture of real relationship struggles, world events and conflicts have forced me to really address the top of my fear hierarchy, ready or not. I’m not gonna lie. It has SUCKED and there have been MANY days when I could not function normally. I had lots of insomnia, trouble eating, not being able to be productive or feel enjoyment. My mind felt so dark and scary. It felt like hell, mentally and physically. But I’m slowly getting better at accepting uncertainty. (There’s a lot of it in my life right now!) I went on Luvox after being off of meds for a year and at the moment it seems to be helping! My intrusive thoughts are still there just…less intrusive. The problems triggering my anxiety aren’t gone. Things might resolve. They might get worse. My relationship could progress positively. It could end badly. These are all real possibilities and I would obviously be deeply upset by a negative outcome. But right now I’m choosing to just 🤷🏻‍♀️ and live in the moment. That’s a big deal for me because my whole life I’ve been so bad at that. I’m focusing on developing good habits and self-care. One of the best tools my therapist taught me was “Do I really need to know this to _____?” Do I need to know how this conflict is going to turn out in order to wake up, go to work, play my music or hang out with my friends? Nope! I’m just taking it moment by moment and task by task. The thoughts are still there and they still suck, but they sting less. I’ve been taking baby steps that might seem insignificant to some ERP pros, but I think it’s working! I could totally feel panicked tomorrow and start ruminating again. But right now I’m OK, and I’m OK with right now. This super long message is to say that even after what feels like hell, there can be hope and you CAN improve. Your baby steps—even just increased awareness—make a difference. It’s not gonna be linear but there will be moments of respite! Just keep going even if you feel like you can’t! Every tiny step is a huge victory and really makes a difference❤️✨

I went to a Nurse Practitioner psychiatrist today. I told her about all of my intrusive thought OCD. She said I don't have OCD but that its a form of bipolar and maybe some psychosis. She asked me 20 times if I hear voices it see things that are not there. She said OCD is just people who order things and must have it done. She made me feel horrible and asked if I had ever acted on any of this. When I said no she almost acted bewildered. Very frustrating. My Lexapro has reached its shelf life and I just wanted to try a new SSRI. She prescribed Lamitrigine. Anyone ever try this?

Hooray....obsession switch.... Five years ago i visited a restaurant while travelling abroad and had a meal. When i finished up, they gave me the reciept in a wooden box. I went up to pay for it and handed the box back to them, but they handed it back, so i left with it. Now im stuck obsessing over whether or not i accidentally stole a reciept box from this restaurant, or whether i really was meant to take it. Nobody stopped me when i left and i came back and dined there the following day and had the same thing happen but i left the box they gave me that day behind because i didn't really think I'd need two of them. I've stressed myself out further because i found a way to contact the restaurant and i asked them about this and offered to return it or pay them for it. But they haven't responded yet, so OCD is playing merry hell with my thoughts. Very frustrating

So basically, I'm afraid of having schizophrenia or becoming possessed (I'm religious). And I have been noticing I'm really paranoid lately and almost believing delusions or what ifs in my mind. Obviously I know they are crazy, but my mind keeps doubting it. That's what scares me the most if I listen to it one day and go crazy.

When OCD strikes, and you turn to someone who knows you struggle and they say, Oh come on, you’ve been through this one before, and you always beat it. You know what to do. ^ This right here gives you some encouragement and makes you feel not so alone in battling the mind demon. And for the people who say yeah but that makes the OCD come back and you shouldn’t rely on others blah blah blah Well guess what? OCD comes back anyway. It always does, whether you tough it out or ask for some reassurance that you can, have, and will beat this thing Why not ask for support and comfort, when the struggle is real. It’s almost like not telling your problems to a therapist, and forcing yourself to suffer alone. Just my thoughts..

Note: Im typing this at 8am and have gotten no sleep so I apologize for all the spelling errors and grammar mistakes. A little over 3 years ago I started work at this new job and while working there I met a guy who was kind of goofy, really cute and funny and played all kinds of instruments. He was just my type. I often gave him rides home from work and during those rides we’d exchange banter over random things. I really liked him and he really liked me. He even offered me piano lessons but for some reason I declined. After a couple weeks my job offered me a position at a different location for a huge pay raise and I decided to take it. I have no idea why but I never thought to get his phone number or instagram or anything like that before I left(maybe I wanted him to make the first move?). He has since left that store and I have no way of reaching out to him. I can’t help but shake the feeling that he’s the one who got away. After about one year in my new position I started daydreaming about me and him. what I had (possibly) missed out on. Sometimes I would even confide in him as an imaginary friend. I’d even think about him laying by my side as I’d go to sleep. I’m aware of how pathetic this sounds now but for some reason I thought nothing of it back then. At first I would only think of him once a month but over time as my depression and anxiety got worse it became more and more. Ive now become deeply concerned with how often I think about him which I think has only made my obsession with him worse. Obviously the problem is my loneliness but I have no idea how to fix that. I have zero social skills and any bonds I do start building I put no effort into keeping them going(as exampled by me not getting this man’s personal information before I left the store) It stresses me out how often I think about him and I have no idea what to do. I just want to stop thinking about him. I’ve also become concerned with what I would do if I actually ran into him again. Would I go ballistic and lose my mind? Would I hurt him? Would I keep it cool? Would my obsessiveness cause me to do something stupid or dangerous? Does anybody have any experience with this type of feeling?

I tend to avoid situations where I feel I could become uncomfortable or anxious, or things can trigger an unwanted thought. Avoidance seems to be the biggest thing I struggle with. Once I get a bad thought about a situation, I want to avoid it as much as possible. my mind runs so many different scenarios of unwanted thoughts happening, which makes me want to avoid the situation altogether. because then I start to feel anxious and panicked and worry “what if something does happen”. It feels like my brain is constantly looking for ways to make me uncomfortable, so it’s easier to avoid situations where I feel like I may feel triggered. I’m not sure how to deal with this. certain situations I can’t avoid. I know I’m going to have to sit through discussions I’ll find uncomfortable. it’s going to ruin my day. And I’ll spend the rest of the day analysing every detail of what happened or how I reacted. im not sure how to combat this.

If I could just go back in time and prevent myself from being so hooked on sexual things my life would be so much better. This has caused so much problems for me. OCD overall, anxiety, very bad sleep, intrusive thoughts, extreme stress, worrying, no motivation, and no enjoyment of life. I feel like a disgusting person and I don't feel like I'm getting closer to where I want to be. It's so hard trying to live my life without this stuff bothering me so much. I can't even envision a life without it besides my childhood. But that's only because I didn't know better. I don't know how I can just live life with all this anxiety and physical wearing and tearing. I was planning to see my therapist today, and I have little to no sleep. I can tell in how red some spots in my eyes are. Those red spots are always there. I'm never not stressed. I just feel hopeless and it feels like I can't keep going further. Nothing suicidal at all, it's just that I'm tired of this. I'm tired of waking up and dealing with the same thing over and over again.

I've been dealing with a sex addiction for many years now. I've been constantly googling about my situation, desperately wanting to find someone in a similar situation to mine just so I don't feel alone and have someone that understands. I haven't found an exact situation but similar ones and it still doesn't help. I can't help but do this compulsion because I need a distraction from my bad thoughts and physical symptoms. Everytime I try to Google about my situation I get strong groinals and I don't mean to be aroused by this stuff, I just want to find someone that is in the same boat. I read so many different stories just to feel less alone and it sort of helps in the moment but not long term and I just end up coming back to the posts. Several nights I've been struggling with insomnia symptoms and I can't shake them off. I've been worried about this for months now and I just hope it goes away completely and never comes back. Because of this now I'm worried I'm going to develop prostate cancer in the future because of this prostate infection that I have. I don't know if it works like that but now I'm just scared for my health and I don't think it will ever go away

I’m feeling better overall (less time ruminating & way less anxiety) but I’m having trouble letting go of the feeling of “if I feel better and the thoughts don’t bother me, then it’s not OCD anymore” or “see the thoughts are still there after treatment, so you can’t use OCD as an excuse anymore”. I think this doubt/fear is just another trick my brain is trying to play with me but it’s really bothering me now that my brain is telling me that feeling better = it’s not really OCD and I need to accept the thoughts as true. Any advice for this, thank you so much this community has been so helpful, and I wish everyone a happy new year!

Hi, just wanted to post to see if someone can relate or can help me. I’ve had intrusive thoughts about my sexuality here and there, ever since I can remember. But I was always able to move on from the thoughs as I knew deep down they didn’t align with my values. I’ve recently moved to another country to travel with my long term boyfriend and on the first day here I had an intrusive thought that I couldn’t brush off which triggered my first ever ocd episode. Since then I have convinced myself that I must be bi. I’ve gone through past interactions with women and my brain has changed them into reasons to support being bi. I’ve also thought that because clips of girls in couples came up on my tiktok it must mean the algorithim makes me like these videos. I’ve also remebered times in the past where I’ve been worried about being gay so have done an online sexuality test that came out as me being bi … and at the time that gave me relief because it meant I could still be with my boyfriend and I moved on from the intrusive though. But now I’m thinking back on this and freeking out because I don’t actually consider myself bi. Can anyone else relate to this? I’m having the worst time travelling at the moment because of all of this. It’s as if I don’t know who I am anymore. And because of all this it’s actually made me develop Rocd and made me think horrible things about my relationship with my boyfriend who is my absolute rock and best person in my life and who I want to be with forever. Thanks in advance if anyone can help me with this. Posting this is also making me very anxious as I’m scared of the responses I might have.😭

Anyone else low-key dreading the semester starting? I’m a PhD student, and even after all the years of uni and grad school, I still worry myself ill about being ‘better than last semester’ and ‘what I relapse like I did?’ (I had a bad relapse in the fall). Grad school, I’ve been told, is harsh for those with OCD, and I was wondering what others’ experiences were/are in grad school and OCD? Anyone else convince themselves they’ve wormed their ways in and are a fraud/stupid? Just looking to meet and learn more from people!

I told my last girlfriend of 16 months I suffer from Pure OCD sexually intrusive thoughts, and she ended our relationship.