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Does anyone get into a state of dissociation from having so much mental compulsions? I’ve been in a dissociative state for 2 months now and I do not know how to get out of it😭😭

I can’t stop crying. I can’t stop ruminating. I can’t get over the false attraction. It is all so painful. I just want to feel like myself again. Are there any other lesbians on here who have ocd???

Does anyone else get intrusive thoughts that are commands? Like “you need to kill someone” or things like that. I feel crazy even typing that but sometimes mine are like that and I hate them

I’ve been reflecting a lot about my childhood and how my OCD tendencies were so obvious but I didn’t even know what OCD was… just thought I’d share so we can laugh (hopefully) and recognize that we can’t help that we have OCD! Most of the following were things I’d do when I was between the ages of about 8-16…I may or may not still do some of them 🤣 * praying with my hands turned up because if I prayed with them face down I was praying to the devil * Correcting mean thoughts about other people to nice thoughts otherwise I was a bad person * Beating myself up for not smiling at other people in public * Washing my feet every time I played outside barefoot because I feared that dog poop somehow got on my feet and I would get sick because of it (even if I know I didn’t step in any) * If praying specifically about someone else I would HAVE to include everyone or something bad would happen to them * Pushing a thought away by shaking my head no or literally spitting it out * Confessing about making a MySpace because I wasn’t allowed to have one as an early teen, and ruminating on it for an entire summer (!!!) and fearing that someone would abduct me (due to the horror stories of predators on it at the time) even though I wasn’t active on it * Constantly making sure friends liked me by asking them (“are you sure you want to be my friend?”) * Constantly making sure my parents weren’t mad at me (“are you mad at me? Did I do something?) * Over apologizing (like 5-10x) if it wasn’t a big deal and needing to be sorry was not necessary Oh ✨ OCD ✨ you’re so silly!

Hi all! So I’m home from college now for winter break and I was just curious: does anyone else’s OCD spike when coming home for the holidays? Like having an uptick in intrusive thoughts related to family members, being home, just surrounding that theme? Would appreciate input! It makes me feel so isolated. ..

I don't know what to do. I'm far from my mom because of vacation, and I feel so guilty from last night that I feel like I have to confess when I talk to her today to make me feel better. The worst thing is, is that a part of me still wants to read the fic because there was a sweet romance, but the dark romance is coming more into the book, and it's just like a part of me wants to see how bad it is, but I know I probably shouldn't in my state. I also just can't think of anything else, because usually mind at least pops out from the trigger/intrusive thought for at least 2 minutes or more, but right now, it's just constantly at the back of my head, and I keep daydreaming about the sweet moments of the romance. I know I'm supposed to try and sit with this, but the guilt is consuming me so much and I just don't know what to do. For context of last night, here it is: Hey guys, currently panicking. To start off, my first big trigger happened after I was reading a fanfic, and it caused panic over a word that kept repeating in my head (sexual theme). That one eventually went away, but two weeks later, a new word (sexual theme) repeated in my head, and I have had that same trigger word in my head for about 5 months now. Which obviously scares me. It hasn’t been my main theme in a while, but my mind always reminds me at least 1-2 a day that it’s still there. The problem is that this fan fic doesn’t fit the traditional Christian values, and my mom is a Christian and grew me up as one, and after a while, the guilt consumed me so much that I told her what the fic was about, and tried to never watch/read anything like that again, but then all of a sudden tonight I got a strong urge to read it again, cause I knew new chapters have had to come out since I haven’t read the book in song long, and I start reading, I start to feel more and more guilty, and the word that has been my longest trigger word started to come back. And then dark themes started to be hinted at in the book, and it states that in the book apparently, but it started to make me panic because I started to question if maybe I’m secretly liking the dark theme. I mean I do love romance, but I started to feel weird and disgusted by what was a possibility in the book, and now I can’t sleep, feel guilty, am scared of the word repeating a lot in my head again, and feel the need to confess to my mom. And to make it clear, it’s better hard because I think a part of me will always believe there is a God, but it hasn't been easy for me to connect in a while, and I just feel like I don’t know where I stand faith wise, but I feel so guilty, and have been avoiding doing things because of Christian values, and because I felt like I knew better than to do certain things. This is all rambling, but thank you to anyone who has read all this. I just feel so out of control and scared, and I just feel so so guilty. I know it’s a compulsion writing this, but I just don’t know what to do, because I was doing well, and now I feel like I just put myself back to square one Sorry for writing a lot, I just haven't panicked this bad in a while and need help because I can't really reach to my therapist because I'm out of state, and I just don't know what to do

Has anyone else with kids during a spin out seeked reassurance from their children? I’m feeling alone on this one and extremely guilty about it.

Y’all I am so goddamn mentally exhausted it’s incredible. I have a cat, she’s two and in perfect health, but my OCD won’t leave her alone. I’m constantly worried she’ll get crushed under a recliner or die of heat stroke in the dryer. My mom accommodates as much as she can, we keep the dryer shut and we keep a cat bed in the living room so she has a place to hide instead of going under the chair. I’ve never had an animal more than a year or so (hamsters that met tragic ends no matter what I did, and a senior dog that we put down after a year due to declining health) so I think the lack of experience with a pet is a big thing here, and she’s the first animal I’ve ever actually bonded with for real. I just want to make my brain stop describing her possible deaths to me and I can’t figure out how. Anything is appreciated. Thanks for reading, folks.

This app is feeding my obsessions. I find some stories relatable and reassuring, but it’s only short-lived. I also find some stories are relatable, but triggering and they cause me to spiral. I also search and search and search different questions, spending hours reading other people’s posts. I deleted my Facebook app as I was spending so much time on my OCD forums, and I also thought it was sending me signs from the universe, but now I’m on here constantly. It’s feeding the OCD because I’m reading and comparing stories constantly, but half the old posts I read are written by people who don’t have a conclusion to their stories, so I’m like did they get better from SO OCD or were they in denial all along, creating more ‘what ifs’. This feeds OCD so bad and gives it more power.

How do I stop ruminating so much? It seems like anytime I make a mistake (getting into a fight, doing something wrong, upsetting a friend, etc) I just ruminate and overthink the entire situation and what the results could be. I’ll also know deep down and in my mind that my mind is just overthinking and I’m just creating scenarios in my head (ex: my friend telling my mom what I did after we have an argument or something), but it’s like my mind just can’t believe myself. Any advice??

( I can’t tell if this is triggering or not so just in case I will be mentioning antidepressants) Recently Camhs have decided it was best for me to go off of sertraline and I was on maximum dose to switch to a different medication as sertraline was not helping. I recently however decided that I didn’t really want to live on medication for the rest of my life and didn’t want to have to deal w all the side effects again. Now I’m medication free (well I will 100% be in a few days I’m on my last dose before being completely taken off) but my anxiety is through the roof, my ocd has taken an awful turn, and my brain is so immensely foggy not to mention I’ve been suffering from derealisation. Has anyone been taken off of sertraline before? I really just wanna know how long will these symptoms last because it’s really very tiring I’ve been on sertraline for two years so it was expected but damn this is quite scary!!

I am getting my Ph.D., and am wondering if I should tell my dissertation chair about my OCD?? He probably thinks I’m just annoyingly anxious but I feel like he should know, given he’s my chair and we will work together for the next three years (have already for a year). Yeah?

One thing that I’ve noticed about my OCD is that it makes me feel very regretful and embarrassed at the end of every day. I reflect on every interaction and every conversation and any thought that I’ve had throughout the day. As a result, I feel more and more ashamed of the way that I act, even though it is probably normal for some of my age to act and see the things that I say. Earlier today I flirted with a guy and then as soon as it ended I had so much religious and moral guilt about it. Does anyone have any advice on how to not feel so ashamed after doing the typical activities that people in their 20s do? I feel like these thoughts are making me want to isolate from everyone else so that I’m not put in the position to do and say these things. I feel comfortable with myself when I don’t talk to anybody but I’m noticing that that can’t be normal . I don’t want to lose friendships and potential relationships out of fear that I’m going to say something wrong. I don’t know what to do.

Hello Does anyone else feel agitated when your thoughts become obsessive and what have you found that really helps. When my brain gets stuck on an obsession I find I get agitated because I can’t make the obsession stop and it’s worse when I’m obsessed about people particularly just one person.

My problem with OCD/ERP is that it’s very situational and hard to trigger. So it’s hard to create exposures. My trigger is job offers. I obsess obsess obsess about them if they don’t feel just right, ask for lore time, call everyone I know, do obsessive Research, lose all perspective, and then either accept or reject the at the last minute without much confidence. Then my brain tells me I made the wrong choice, and my compulsion is to prolong the decision-making process by undoing and redoing the decision (“I accept! [2 hours later] Actually, I don’t want the job. Oh just kidding, I do! Oh wait, I don’t.”) How the fuck do I do ERP for this?! It’s not like germ phobia where exposure to the trigger is easy (there are germs everywhere). Job offers, real ones, don’t come around often (thank goodness) but when they do it is hell. This used to happen with smaller decisions but thank god that seems to be less so now

Can anyone give me tips on how when I have an intrusive thought that doesn’t mean I did it. Like I’ll have a thought of something then my head will tell me that I did this .. anybody else deal with this

I’m constantly having groinal response to thoughts and people I don’t want to have them to. Does anybody else hold them in if that makes sense? I find that makes it worse and cause an arousal feeling and I absolutely hate it, don’t know what to do.

It’s been a week since I’ve been experiencing one of the worst OCD episodes I’ve had since I was 15. I did ERP therapy two years ago. I engaged in so many mental compulsions and rituals this last week. I feel calm and normal and it worries me, what if this time it’s different? How do you navigate back door spikes and give your body permission to rest? It worries me if I get out of this I will become a lesbian or bisexual. It worries that when I come back to my senses. That when I get better I will want to explore? I’m trying to be okay with the possibility, but I don’t want to. I can’t tell what’s real or fake anymore.

does anybody else hate breaks? Like christmas breaks or summer breaks? i dread them personally because I can always remember my ocd flaring up and getting the worst in this time periods.. As much as school and work can stress me out, I never have time to let my mind wander because i’m doing other things. But when breaks come around and i’m just left to my thoughts, it feels like my intrusive thoughts get worse and worse.

I already don't like this app. It has the same problem as being on the OCD subreddit or in any OCD online group. It inevitably just devolves into people doing compulsions (reassurance seeking, mainly) at each other. My unpopular opinion is that people with OCD shouldn't have support groups unless they're HEAVILY moderated by a clinician. This one clearly isn't. I scrolled for 5 min and almost every post is someone saying "I'm worried about x, do you think it's true?". That's a compulsion! This app is not facilitating ERP it's hindering it.