I can’t stop crying. I can’t stop ruminating. I can’t get over the false attraction. It is all so painful. I just want to feel like myself again. Are there any other lesbians on here who have ocd???
I imagine this experience must be uniquely hard for people who are LGBT since pride in one’s identity seems like an important part of the community. A coping strategy I use is to embrace uncertainty is to remind myself that I don’t have to be certain to pursue what makes me feel comfortable or “like myself”. Something you could say to yourself is, “I may not feel sure of my sexuality and I may change my mind, but right now, being a lesbian makes me feel more comfortable so that’s the identity I’ll use.”
I’m a lesbian with OCD, and while my type is a bit different, I do want to let you know that it’s okay to not be okay. It took me a long time to find someone who made me feel grounded and okay with the person I am, mental illness and all. I wish you warm and comforting thoughts this holiday. ❤️🫂
@NajikaSun Thank you so much 🥹 I really do hope I find my person soon. It’s so hard going through this alone because I’ve explained it to others and all I’ve gotten was “sexuality is fluid” and I’m like… no. But I wish you a really beautiful holiday! ❤️
We are in the same boat, Everything that I was little by little has been lost, my head does whatever it wants, support for you, you are not alone
@Carlos A You re gay guy ?
@star1232 Nop, straight
Hey! I’m a bisexual woman and I have sexual orientation and relationship ocd. I just wanted to let you know that you’re not alone, you’re valid and your intrusive thoughts do not take away from your queerness! An erp phrase that I love to use is “i’m allowed to experience my sexuality without an agenda”. Hope this helps!
Can we have a talk please ?
@star1232 Ofc
@Vee <3 Where please ?
Baby just be strong, I know it hard to be around people, but find someone to talk to whenever you feel anxiety and stress. It help. But trust me I understand,be strong. It's really a mind thing. Zyprexa and Zoloft help me a lot, look in to it.
It feels like I’m lying to myself constantly and everyone. There feels like there is a weight on my heart from the moment I wake up till I go to sleep. I don’t want to be gay. Idk why it doesn’t register. Now everyone I see I have to see if I’m attracted to them. I see good looking men and I feel like I’m lying to myself that they are good looking, I see women and I see if im attracted to them. I look at everyone and I feel jealous. I want my fucking life back. But now my OCD (if this is even OCD) is telling me I was never happy and I was always suppressing my feelings of being gay. Why is this happening? Can OCD do this? I can’t enjoy anything ever.
Idk if this post is even worth it but it seemed like a normal day for me, called off work due to the weather so I get to just stay home and play games all day. Easy day besides dealing with the constant and unbearable battle with my intrusive thoughts/feelings. Took a shower and I just had constant thoughts, (heart palpitations are pretty constant) ended up breaking down and bawling my eyes out. I was diagnosed with HOCD and ROCD about 2 months ago and since it's just gotten worse. It feels as real as it can get and after talking to my girlfriend about the anxiety attack, it feels even more real. I have no desire or enjoyment from what comes from my brain, and at this point I'm on my knees begging the big man upstairs for my old life back, how do I go from being obsessed with women (sexually and emotionally) to pretty much doing a 180 overnight (with the obvious anxiety and worry behind it. No real desire obviously). I'm just at a loss, I've done a little ERP and it seemed to help with the brain fog but besides that, everything that it does to someone, I have. And again there's the doubt I even have OCD and I'm in straight denial. It just sucks.
I cant afford therapy which is why i’m not diagnosed with ocd. The first time i had heard what ocd was truly abt was 6 years ago when i overthinking my sexual identity and it fit. Additionally, i struggle with debilitating health anxiety and when i was in a rlt i was extremely anxious that i might not love my partner. This is the third year i experience distress around my sexuality but this year it feels real. And it could also explain my rlt anxiety. Comphet is a concept that really scares me. I dont want to be with a girl. I would rather die than discover i was lesbian. I cant accept uncertainty cz i dont want to be homosexual. Chat GPT told me it wasnt ocd + the thoughts dont distress me anymore. I experience 3 intense weeks of anxiety prior to now. Maybe its internalized homophobia. Maybe its comphet. I do find women to be attractive but i dont wanna be with them. Maybe i’m in denial. Idk anything anymore. I’m remembering times where i would find an actress attractive and try to shift my focus towards the man cz it would make me anxious. I’m not well at all.
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