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Can intrusive thoughts sounds like “I want too” and not just “what if “

This app is feeding my obsessions. I find some stories relatable and reassuring, but it’s only short-lived. I also find some stories are relatable, but triggering and they cause me to spiral. I also search and search and search different questions, spending hours reading other people’s posts. I deleted my Facebook app as I was spending so much time on my OCD forums, and I also thought it was sending me signs from the universe, but now I’m on here constantly. It’s feeding the OCD because I’m reading and comparing stories constantly, but half the old posts I read are written by people who don’t have a conclusion to their stories, so I’m like did they get better from SO OCD or were they in denial all along, creating more ‘what ifs’. This feeds OCD so bad and gives it more power.

How do I stop ruminating so much? It seems like anytime I make a mistake (getting into a fight, doing something wrong, upsetting a friend, etc) I just ruminate and overthink the entire situation and what the results could be. I’ll also know deep down and in my mind that my mind is just overthinking and I’m just creating scenarios in my head (ex: my friend telling my mom what I did after we have an argument or something), but it’s like my mind just can’t believe myself. Any advice??

Today, I’m struggling with the difference between thoughts and intentions. I know that thoughts generally shouldn’t be confessed (as they don’t actually harm anyone else),but what about intentions? For instance, I went through a really hard time in my relationship years back, and one of my awful coping mechanisms was (which was totally entitled, immature, and embarrassing) thinking something about staying with her for her money. I can’t remember if this was just an upset thought in the heat of the moment or an actual intention I had as a consequence of our relationship problems. This thought (and others related to it) happened a few times. I think it always happened when either one or both of us was upset/we had an argument. But because the thought was repeated (and maybe thought on purpose), I’m afraid I acted on this thought/intention. I have felt sick all day. I feel like a gold-digger. These thoughts couldn’t be further from how I feel today, but I’m worried that back then, they weren’t intrusive thoughts. I have shared these thoughts with her (not in as much detail, but she understands the basics), and she wants me to let it go. I can’t. Who thinks like that about someone they love? Was I actually actively plotting in my head to use her, or was I just escaping my pain with angry thoughts? I need a hug and a wise word.

Hello all! I want to share some wonderful FREE ocd resources that have helped my healing journey immensely. Most of These were recommended to me by my NOCD therapist so no fear of the information on them as it is legit! The other half are from people that are LMHC. Kimberly Quinlan’s podcast really helped me when I was going through the beginning stages of ocd therapy and was really struggling with depression. She offers valuable insight and tips on compassion practices for ocd. Her book is also amazing! Obviously anyone can listen to her but I highly encourage my peeps with taboo related subtypes to listen to her since she offers so much compassion towards those subtypes as well! Nathan Peterson, aka my fav, he is awesome!! He offers so much advice and knowledge on his YouTube channel ocd & anxiety. Ali greymond on YouTube is also very good and knowledgeable, she even has videos that can help you during an anxiety attack because of ocd and talks you through it and it’s really helpful. Although I’ve only listened to a few videos, the ocd and anxiety podcast on Spotify is also very good and offers a lot of advice and information! Christie Hodges is my savior if I’m being honest. I watched her YouTube video on POCD before I got diagnosed with ocd and was in the midst of battling with the worst depression ever because of my intrusive thoughts I was considering ending my life and that video gave me so much hope and made me reach out to NOCD. She is a huge advocate for people with ocd ! I hope this helps you guys ! I wish u guys happy holidays and a great new year. Have faith and be kind to yourself I know the suffering is hard but you will overcome ! 💕💝🎄🎅🏼☃️❄️🩵🤍💙

why does calling intrusive thoughts “unwanted desires” make me feel better?? i think it’s cause sometimes the thoughts feel wanted even tho i still get distress and know they don’t feel like who i am

( I can’t tell if this is triggering or not so just in case I will be mentioning antidepressants) Recently Camhs have decided it was best for me to go off of sertraline and I was on maximum dose to switch to a different medication as sertraline was not helping. I recently however decided that I didn’t really want to live on medication for the rest of my life and didn’t want to have to deal w all the side effects again. Now I’m medication free (well I will 100% be in a few days I’m on my last dose before being completely taken off) but my anxiety is through the roof, my ocd has taken an awful turn, and my brain is so immensely foggy not to mention I’ve been suffering from derealisation. Has anyone been taken off of sertraline before? I really just wanna know how long will these symptoms last because it’s really very tiring I’ve been on sertraline for two years so it was expected but damn this is quite scary!!

I am getting my Ph.D., and am wondering if I should tell my dissertation chair about my OCD?? He probably thinks I’m just annoyingly anxious but I feel like he should know, given he’s my chair and we will work together for the next three years (have already for a year). Yeah?

I should start by saying, I have Pure- O OCD that for years was just centered on religious and harm themes. I went to a therapist who told me to remember that I am not my thoughts. So once I realized that, I felt much better. I told myself, these thoughts have no meaning. I moved on with life, if I had a thought that seemed illogical to me I'd just say, it's not worth worrying about. Or if I felt a great amount of stress I'd just try to think of the things that are important to me and make me happy i.e. nostalgic memories, my family etc. And almost always, this helped me a great deal. To thr point where the past 2 years these have been my coping mechanisms and I've made it to the Dean's list at college, I've been almost always happy and relatively low stress. But since I tried to focus on what made me happy when I had an intrusive thought, is that not technically a compulsion? And what about the reassurance things. For example if I thought absurdly negative thoughts I'd tell myself "I have my family who loves me and I know they would help me get by" and then the thoughts wouldn't really bother me. If they came back I'd just say to myself "Oh, that's illogical to worry about" and move on. But I've read that when you have OCD, ANY attempt to relieve anxiety is a compulsion and compulsions are negative reinforcement. So now my mind will tell me whenever I watch a youtuber I always liked that I can't feel happy because that's a compulsion etc. Whenever I feel comforted or at peace it tells me that that's a compulsion. Before, I would say "What that's absurd" and then not care about the thought anymore. But yeah, if I do these so called mental compulsions then my life is great truly, as I explained before, for years it was great. But once I stop then it's been literal misery and constant anxiety because my ocd will barely let me feel positive emotions then. And it's getting harder to go back to before since now I have doubts about it since I read that article. The only time when I can ignore that stuff basically completely and do my so called compulsions is at night, I know how important sleep is so I just listen to my favorite youtuber, don't care about the other thoughts and get sleepy and almost always sleep a good 7-8 hours. I'm just wondering if what I've been doing for years is bad, or if there's some good to it? What advice would you guys give/what should I change? Thank you and have a great day!

One thing that I’ve noticed about my OCD is that it makes me feel very regretful and embarrassed at the end of every day. I reflect on every interaction and every conversation and any thought that I’ve had throughout the day. As a result, I feel more and more ashamed of the way that I act, even though it is probably normal for some of my age to act and see the things that I say. Earlier today I flirted with a guy and then as soon as it ended I had so much religious and moral guilt about it. Does anyone have any advice on how to not feel so ashamed after doing the typical activities that people in their 20s do? I feel like these thoughts are making me want to isolate from everyone else so that I’m not put in the position to do and say these things. I feel comfortable with myself when I don’t talk to anybody but I’m noticing that that can’t be normal . I don’t want to lose friendships and potential relationships out of fear that I’m going to say something wrong. I don’t know what to do.

So its been almost a day and I just feel a little bit better but i still feel like this is not ocd, and i cant move on and forget the thing i was thinking about yesterday. I feel shame to move on and scared cause i feel like if i dont do something about this, this will come back in the future. I will hear people talk about their struggle with suicidal ideation and i will see myself in that. I started to read about Socd, i wanted to see others if they have the same feelings as me cause its annoying that people with socd feel just afraid. What i felt is so similar what people with suicidal ideation go through. Mine its not just what if thoughts. Its hard to see if i want it or not, cause right now i can say no i dont want but when it feels real, i cant decide cause i have that feeling that i dont want to live my life like this, suffering. I get really angry when things still feel bad and dont change, and because of anger i vent it out like i let this feeling of i dont want to live like this be fully there, but because of anger it feels so real, and i cant find anyone who relates to this and it sounds similar to ideation and thats why i dont feel good. I dont want to accept that its real suicidal ideation, that im thinking about suicide. I dont want to accept that. Yet i dont find anyone relating to me and experiencing it this bad. I really try to see the pattern and see what it is but when i feel like its ideation i just lose control and get emtional. I said before, i dont want to die. But in that moment when its really hard, i dont like something or i feel dissapointed and angry i feel like this is not how i want to live. And the thoughts gets real, the anger and sadness gets stronger, i feel sandess and that this is unfair and when it gets too much i vent out like yeah this is what i want. Then i feel bad and guilt, shame and im worrying that im suicidal. This is whats happening now. I think this is the best way i can describe it. If you want to help me with the "please contact a doctor or keep yourself safe, have a safety plan" dont write it cause i view these as compulsions. I talked with many doctors. I understand if its ocd this is another compulsion seeking post, but when you cant relate to anyones ocd cycle its okay to ask if others can relate to you. Cause if noone can then maybe its not ocd. And now i see it like noone actually relates with me.

Hello Does anyone else feel agitated when your thoughts become obsessive and what have you found that really helps. When my brain gets stuck on an obsession I find I get agitated because I can’t make the obsession stop and it’s worse when I’m obsessed about people particularly just one person.

I’m proud of myself tho it’s been making me anxious today. Last night I watched this movie called “Bronx Tale” with my bf (good movie actually I’m not usually into old movies but it’s been re-enhanced) anyway, there was this scene where two gorgeous woman walked past this group of Italian guys and they were obviously whistling at them etc. Now my ocd is sexual themed and has prevented me from doing so much. One thing I do as a compulsion is try to just focus so hard on the persons face and the second I look anywhere else ocd convinced me I’m “checking them out” or something along those lines. Before ocd I never used to worry about where I was looking, and was able to look at a whole person (body and face) and know I wasn’t being inappropriate towards my partner. I’m trying to learn there is a difference between looking at someone and checking someone out! So my exposure was to try and look at their outfit, their face & their body (not in a sexual way at all) but just trying to be normal somewhat, I still struggled to do that the whole movie pretty much but it was a tiny exposure that did help. I want to get to a point where I’m okay with seeing someone’s face and body and knowing I’m not being a pervert, knowing I can appreciate the fact someone is beautiful or attractive and knowing I’m not sexualising that person or “checking them out” as ocd always says I do. I never had thoughts like that before ocd (just saying)… I know this may not seem big but this was huge for me! Being able to even comment to my partner about the fact that they were beautiful and had nice bodies - and he didn’t even bat an eye when I said that. That was a huge step for me… I know I still have so much ERP to do, and I always put it off because I’m scared, but even for me to watch a movie that anything could have popped up - I still was able to enjoy a movie with my partner and also do a little exposure which will eventually get me back to how I used to be… I’m slowly learning there’s a difference between just appreciating that someone is good looking with no intent behind it - to actually being a pervert and checking someone out. Wanted to share my ERP experience with people who get how hard it is.

Hello wonderful people! I am noticing that my intrusive thoughts come mostly at night while I'm drifting off to sleep - and they come in phrases sentences or words relating to my fears. Doesn't happen during the day for me! Does anyone else relate to this?

my ocd lately is convincing me that I'm agreeing with my intrusive thoughts when I'm avoiding mental compulsions, it's hard to explain but it's giving me the gut feeling that I'm agreeing and letting my worst fears happen.. it's literal hell in my head

It’s been two days since I ended up not going to check in my fridge to see if I did lock a stray kitten inside of it, if there was indeed one, it’s most likely dead by now, and I’ll never know if there was one because it’s possible my parents who also use the fridge have seen and removed it, though they might not have seen it because they are quite careless, or found one but didn’t tell me because they now about my mental illness and don’t want to hurt my feelings. I’m still not sure it was the right decision, I could’ve taken 15 mintues to thouroughly check the fridge one last time. I feel like shit...

My problem with OCD/ERP is that it’s very situational and hard to trigger. So it’s hard to create exposures. My trigger is job offers. I obsess obsess obsess about them if they don’t feel just right, ask for lore time, call everyone I know, do obsessive Research, lose all perspective, and then either accept or reject the at the last minute without much confidence. Then my brain tells me I made the wrong choice, and my compulsion is to prolong the decision-making process by undoing and redoing the decision (“I accept! [2 hours later] Actually, I don’t want the job. Oh just kidding, I do! Oh wait, I don’t.”) How the fuck do I do ERP for this?! It’s not like germ phobia where exposure to the trigger is easy (there are germs everywhere). Job offers, real ones, don’t come around often (thank goodness) but when they do it is hell. This used to happen with smaller decisions but thank god that seems to be less so now

Can anyone give me tips on how when I have an intrusive thought that doesn’t mean I did it. Like I’ll have a thought of something then my head will tell me that I did this .. anybody else deal with this

Has anyone on here recovered from POCD and willing to share any helpful tips. I’m sick and tired of worrying about this I just want it to stop. And my therapist says I just need to accept the presence of the thoughts but before I had POCD I don’t remember ever having thoughts/urges/feelings like this. I’m terrified of myself and I don’t trust myself or anything that my brain says. And when people say oh you need to just carry on with your values ? What if my values aren’t even my values ?? I’m not even sure what my values are anymore and who I am as a person. It’s so scary. I feel like I’m actually just a terrible person capable of horrible things. All I wanted since I was young was to be a stay at home mum and have my own family but that’s never going to happen now coz I honestly don’t know what happened to me. I miss my old self so much I grieve her everyday. Idek who I am anymore

I’m constantly having groinal response to thoughts and people I don’t want to have them to. Does anybody else hold them in if that makes sense? I find that makes it worse and cause an arousal feeling and I absolutely hate it, don’t know what to do.