Intentions vs. Thoughts (TW: 18+)

Today, I’m struggling with the difference between thoughts and intentions. I know that thoughts generally shouldn’t be confessed (as they don’t actually harm anyone else),but what about intentions? For instance, I went through a really hard time in my relationship years back, and one of my awful coping mechanisms was (which was totally entitled, immature, and embarrassing) thinking something about staying with her for her money. I can’t remember if this was just an upset thought in the heat of the moment or an actual intention I had as a consequence of our relationship problems. This thought (and others related to it) happened a few times. I think it always happened when either one or both of us was upset/we had an argument. But because the thought was repeated (and maybe thought on purpose), I’m afraid I acted on this thought/intention. I have felt sick all day. I feel like a gold-digger. These thoughts couldn’t be further from how I feel today, but I’m worried that back then, they weren’t intrusive thoughts. I have shared these thoughts with her (not in as much detail, but she understands the basics), and she wants me to let it go. I can’t. Who thinks like that about someone they love? Was I actually actively plotting in my head to use her, or was I just escaping my pain with angry thoughts? I need a hug and a wise word.

iluvjesus

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 1y

love is very complicated and so is our minds, especially with ocd we don’t always get the answer or reassurance we hope for. So learn to feel it but let it go, if you really were a gold digger i promise you would not care or have anxiety about any of that at all

garba

Date posted: 1y

@iluvjesus I understand that. I guess it’s the fact that I didn’t have this anxiety about these thoughts at the time I had them, only now do I feel anxiety and guilt looking back :/

Jenni3

Date posted: 1y

I have had this happen as well. Mine came from a previous abusive relationship. When I first got married to my current husband I went into it with a “well at least I will be taken care of” mentality. I was guarding my heart and making sure I was okay if he decided to leave me. This went on for years, probably about 7yrs. I finally did a session with someone who wasn’t a therapist but helped me a ton. And I was able to let that guard down and actually feel. We’ve now been married 20yrs. I think you were guarding your heart.

star1232

Date posted: 1y

Are you bi !

garba

Date posted: 1y

@star1232 Yes I am!

star1232

Date posted: 1y

@b0sc0 Im suffering from so ocd and i really want to ask you smth 🙏🏻

garba

Date posted: 1y

@star1232 Go ahead! I’d love to help :)

star1232

Date posted: 1y

@b0sc0 Let’s talk but where ?

aaanonymous

Date posted: 23w

harm ocd during intimacy

18+ i was having intimacy with my lover. i was frustrated and i had a thought like "hurt her physically", i think i Remember not agreeing with it. i didn't hurt my lover they were fine they never felt hurt physically, but im afraid i might have done some action with the intention to hurt them but maybe i wasn't violent enough? idk. i don't remember any action with that intention so that's that. it happened like a couple of hours ago and im afraid i forgot about it. also, i get anxious because sometimes when i have intrusive thoughts i kind of act on it? not as in like doing what the intrusive thoughts tells me, but something similar that is better in a way? like today i had a thought like "grope your lover in public" but instead of doing that i just squeezed their waist. so idk im afraid i might have done something similar here

Roseptlss

Date posted: 20w

Persistent Intrusive thoughts about past actions

Hi Everyone! I hope whoever is reading this is having a good day so far :) So for years now I’ve had very bad intrusive thoughts about things that I have done or embarrassing things that I’ve said or have happened and it’s mortifying and debilitating on a daily basis. Specifically these thoughts are mainly things that have occurred from 2018-2020 and some are more simple just as a stupid joke I made or being way too loud on calls while my family was trying to sleep and others being way more complex such as past relationships and how I’ve hurt some of the people I care the most about and when I have acted on intrusive thoughts and these thoughts will appear with no triggers at all I’ll just wake up and already have something I did just nagging me. I don’t want to live like this anymore and I’ve tried working through it with self compassion but sometimes the things I said or did back then it’s very hard to forgive myself for and I’ll reminisce on it for hours on hours, gaslight myself into believing that’s not how it happened and try to change the memory itself, or just suppress it entirely. I know those habits aren’t healthy and truly I want to get better but I don’t know how to overcome some of these thoughts. I have talked to my fiancé about this a few times and even today we talked about it and he fully supports me and is helping me work through it. I might also contact my sister too, I don’t talk to her overly too much but ever since I was little she’s thought I’ve had ocd and was one of the people who made me consider that I might have it (I’m still undiagnosed but I’ll try to when I have the money and time) and I know she could maybe provide some insight. Another thing that is troublesome about the situation is my other family members specifically my mom aren’t the most helpful and can trigger thoughts. To put it in perspective on how her thought process is and some background info she is an ER nurse and has been for 30 years due to this she believes she knows mainly everything there is about mental health and she gets extremely upset when I don’t take her advice or set boundaries. She’ll force me to talk to her about my problems and when I don’t want to she’ll pin me in a corner where I’m forced to and last summer I had a really bad episode and was really overstimulated and I just finished taking a shower and due to the water on me, my hair being wet (my hair is naturally curly and it takes forever to dry and it’s very draining taking care of even with a keratin treatment) and all the intrusive thoughts I was having and she forced me to talk to her and I did open up for the first time about my thoughts and brought up how sometimes I have thoughts of hurting my animals and it makes me physically sick. Her response to this was threatening to call the cops on me saying it was a behavioral thing and I was doing it for attention. I have never hurt any of my animals but later that day my cat came into my room and a few minutes later she comes up just gives me the death stare and after a few seconds just asks me “are you going to go kill snickers?” In the most condescending tone and she’s always like this daily where she’ll force advice onto me or get upset and yell and then reinforce thoughts I’m having. I just want to know first how to stop the thoughts from so frequently and how to heal in an environmental where it keeps reopening wounds despite trying to place boundaries? I’m sorry this is really long I usually do go really in detail about things and it’s just how I’ve always been. If anyone has any questions feel free to ask and I’ll answer them to the best of my ability. I really appreciate the time you took to read this and thank you for your help! 🥰

Anonymous

Date posted: 17w

Can intrusive thoughts be intentional thinking

I wanted to ask if it is possible to purposely think of an intrusive thought and then shifting your mind instantly to something else? Is it still an intrusive thought if you have been thinking of it 'purposely' for a second? I dont know how else to explain it, but it felt like I was purposely thinking of it. Anyone else had similar experience what happened during intimate moments like masturbation I feel so ashamed cuz the thoughts are so bad they're either about family members children and stuff like that it feels like I think it I just want to know if I'm not alone I feel like a monster because it feels like I thought these things or like I did think these things and I don't know what to do I feel so ashamed and grossed I need help I just want to know if anyone had a similar experience to shed light on because I don't know I feel so isolated

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Intentions vs. Thoughts (TW: 18+)

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