Welcome to
the NOCD Community

I am having really bad anxiety today and just want to take an anxiety pill to help me relax, but then I have ocd intrusive thoughts telling me something bad will happen if I take it or I will go crazy or something.

Does anyone have the worst OC in the morning? It feels like Groundhog’s Day when I Got You Babe starts every morning - awaking to the same old thing. I lay in bed trying to go back to sleep and run from my rumination, but it just builds up more and more. I finally force myself to get up and get moving, do some ERP- oh and I have no taste for anything that I used to like - coffee, bagels, etc. Any suggestions? Techniques? Please share.

Have others had the experience of having an ocd relapse? I have felt that my ocd was fairly under control for a few years but I have recently been struggling and would say I have fallen into a relapse. It is very disheartening not to mention I am so tired and a bit scared. I am triggered all day long by all kinds of different things. Things have felt like they are exponentially unraveling.

how can I stop obsessing over my thoughts? they won’t go away and I’m convinced it’s never going to get better for me. I used to be such a happy person and ocd has completely destroyed me and taken over my life. I can’t enjoy things anymore.

I just woke up from a dream related to my OCD subtype and it felt too real and felt like I liked it and woke up panicking. I know dreams don’t mean anything but it felt too real and now I can’t sleep.

On my run this morning a person stopped me to ask if I had a phone on me, and I said “no, sorry” and kept running even though I did have my phone, because it was early morning and I felt scared they’d take my phone. For the rest of my run I felt worried that they were following me and would see me use my phone, because I had AirPods in so they could guess that I did have a phone, although conceivably I could have only been wearing my Apply Watch. Once I was home and that anxiety subsided, I’ve been playing the situation over in my mind and feeling like such a bad person for saying no because what if they really needed help, and I said no because I judged them based on appearance and the situation made me scared they’d take my phone. I’m worried something bad will happen to me as karma.

So anyone have these opposite thoughts or thoughts that go against what your values and it sounds like you actually want to support such horrific, disturbing things even though you haven't and will never to this day? Its like you're inner dialogue is saying you support such things even though you know you really dont want to and the subject disgusts you and its like opposite thoughts. It's disturbing and honestly I'm a little shaken and it's been along the line of my core theme? Would anyone have any advice or have any knowledge on what this is?

tw: csa A therapist that actually cares. A therapist that’s good at their job. A therapist that understands. I have nobody else to turn to in my life to talk about things I’ve been through I feel like I don’t even know who I am because I have hardly had any real life experiences and my mom is always casting her evil judgements onto me. She once told me, “your father was a pervert who wanted you and then abandoned you.” Y’all I’m so heartbroken. I have 0 friends. I have always been the girl that nobody likes or cares about. I’m so tired man. I know this is so personal but I’m so tired of holding it all in and I’m terrified of becoming a bad person because I was raised by bad people. My OCD is so bad and I’m not getting any real love or support. I feel so unseen and unheard.

Hi friends! I’m facing a serious relapse after two wonderful months of nearly nothing. Ugh! What is the first thing you do? I’m ramping up the ERPs and therapy sessions. I’m so thankful for NOCD! I’m still taking my meds, so no change there. I keep telling myself that my thoughts are just thoughts and they might come true/ might not… I could really use some extra guidance. Many thanks.

Whenever my mom thinks I’m trying to argue on purpose, that makes me think “what if I am?” “What if I’m just a baby who can’t take what she said”. I feel scared. I just disagreed with her when she told me not to wash my clothes with my work clothes because they’ll smell bad and I disagreed because she’s never said a word about this for years but two years before she told me not to wash them separately because that’s wasting electricity. So, her shutting me down by saying “don’t argue with me” makes no sense to me but at the same I feel like “does this make sense though? What if I’m just an asshole to her?” Then before she got irritated with me when I was about to throw away expired lemonade but she was the one who yelled at me by saying “if you’re not having it just throw it away!” Like I honestly don’t know what she wants me to do anymore!!!!! Sometimes when changes their mind or something, I keep feeling like “what if I’m schizophrenic and I just thought that had happened” or “what if I’m crazy” or “why am I upset by this? What if they didn’t change their mind and I’m just thinking something else” My parents getting irritated with me makes me feel like I’ve done so much wrong and I end up losing my motivation but that makes me feel even more gross because I’m not bothering to wash the dishes now..

I don’t know what happened but I feel like my OCD is back and I’m crying because I’ve been doing so good and now I feel like all of a sudden it’s back and I don’t want to go down this path again because it was really dark time for me and I was doing good like and I’m getting my medicine switched and I started a new one tomorrow but I don’t know I feel like there’s a spell on me. I can’t go through this again and I am crying I just I can’t go through this hell hole again and I really need help in advice to say strong during this because I can’t do this like I can’t do this again I can’t I hate how my brain is like so mad and just yells at me like I have to think about this in order for her to go away like no I don’t want to think about it but if I don’t think about whatever it wants me to think about, it’s like gets louder and louder in my head, and like the more urgent, feeling of having to think about it, in order to go away, I know it’s OCD I know it’s OCD and then like what if it’s not OCD like no if I don’t wanna think about something obviously it’s OCD it’s OCD it’s always OCD whatever my brain wants me to think about and it gets louder and louder. It’s just it’s OCD bro it’s OCD, I think I am going on a spiral and I just really need help like I’m tired of my OCD wanting to think about things and then saying it’s not OCD when it’s literally OCD

Okay.. let me start by saying I’m in a VERY committed relationship of 11 years.. and I’m Absolutely not interested in another person. But at a my job, I sell some rocks that I paint.. and this guy expressed interest in buying a custom item I make and asked if we could get coffee discussing what he wants.. eagerly, I said yes, wanting to sell my art, with it going right over my head that this man is asking me out, so I gave him my number eagerly wanting to sell my art, but as I did, I realized that I shouldn’t be and immediately regretted it.. couple days later he texted me, and I informed him that I’m in a very committed relationship ship and wouldn’t be interested in anything romantic, he said that he wasnt either and is only interested In a friendship… great, I thought… not great.. he’s been texting me relentlessly, and showing up to my job almost everyday, and it’s making me very uncomfortable.. I don’t know what to do. I’m so afraid that I was wrong to my boyfriend, or just scared that im leading this man on, even though I made it clear I wasn’t Interested, or afraid he’s going to attack me in someway.. If I would have just had the freaking balls to say no to giving him my number, I wouldn’t be in this situation. I’m so afraid, I want to change my number and quit my job.. how should I handle this??

It feels dumb asking this as if I want it to be clarified to prove something, but I was on tiktok and saw something on tiktok (I don’t feel comfortable saying what) and I got a intrusive thought because of it. I wasn’t trying to let it bother me but I couldn’t just forget that that happened in my head. Why would something like that happen? Then I searched up “sexual obsessions POCD” on Google and the first site that showed up basically listed a lot of the stuff that’s been going on in my head. Then I started to feel better and relieved cause I was like “oh good it’s just ocd”. But it still makes me feel like it’s not…I hate this.

Hey everyone! I’m new here and thought that it might help to get my OCD story off my chest. My intrusive thoughts are so bad that I never want to talk about them to anyone so maybe that’s why I’m here. When I was 13 my grandma was in the hospital. She was my best friend in the whole world. I imagined so much life with her. I remember pulling into the hospital one day with my Dad and immediately knocking on “wood” (the car door) to help put me at ease about my grandmas health before going in. I knocked on wood because everyone knows that’s what you do when you don’t want something to happen. I didn’t want anything bad to happen to her so bad that all I could think about in that moment was something bad happening. So I knocked on wood. It made me feel better so I kept doing it whenever I had bad thoughts. But then it going confusing. If this was helping ease these thoughts, why was I starting to have these thoughts more frequently? 13 year old me didn’t understand what I was doing or why these bad thoughts started. It had got so bad that I was knocking on wood every second of the day, every surface I came across that felt right, and if I didn’t I would force myself to turn around and touch that surface. I would have to knock on wood 8 times every single time but the 7 would have two knocks because the word 7 have two syllables. But then the 8 times wouldn’t be enough, I still wouldn’t feel satisfied so I would do it again and again and again until my entire day was overpowered by intrusive thoughts or knocking on wood. My family and friends started to notice, asking why I do it. I would always avoid the question or make a joke out of it because I couldn’t tell them these terrible thoughts I was having. I was so deeply afraid of something bad happening to the people I love the most or myself that it was debilitating. A couple years later I noticed how bad it had gotten and wanted a change. So I forced myself to stop knocking. I would tell myself angrily that nothing bad would happen if I don’t knock. It took me a lot of convincing and small steps to realize this, but it worked. I got better. I went to the doctors office at about 15 and told them everything. How I did this but how I solved this. They told me it takes great mental strength to be able to fight something in your brain like that. I have always been so mentally strong but hearing them say that made me feel so much better. And I was better. For years. Yea I went through times when it was bad again but it was so much better. The past couple years it has gotten worse again. I noticed that it gets worse when my anxiety about things is higher. New changes, new people, new things. Now, at 21 I won’t let myself get back to the point I was when I was 13, but recently I can’t seem to keep the intrusive thoughts out. I am so terrified of myself or someone else getting hurt of getting older that I put the whole toll on myself. I am so so so happy with my life right now that I don’t want anything to change. That is why it’s been so bad recently. Life is amazing which is why I only want it to get better and I’m so scared something might get in the way of that. I realized after talking to my friends that I never want to say my intrusive thoughts out-loud because I believe strongly in speaking things into existence so I only speak good things out loud. That’s how I’ve always been. But when I talked with my friend she said she’s the opposite, she says the bad things out loud because then you jinx them and they won’t happen. Her saying that gave me a little peace because it made me realize that it’s okay to get these things off my chest and that saying these things out loud isn’t so serious, it’s not life or death like I thought it was. Honestly, the weight of getting my story off my chest has already helped me feel a little lighter of a load on myself.

i'm trying the maybe maybe not method but i keep getting hit back with anxiety and the what ifs 😣 what else can i do 😢

I'm stuck in a cycle of checking and I can't stop. I've checked porn, Google images, listened to gay people talk, gay people with makeup I've looked at everything trying to tell what I am but I can't get a conclusion except anxiety and more confusion I also get groinal movements from checking sexual things but apparently that can happen from anything sexual? Im so confused I can't tell if I'm bisexual in denial or just straight with OCD anymore it's so stressful I spend everynight repeating the same thing which is researching trying to find an answer good enough to stop this suffering I just want a girlfriend and my life back to normal bit I'm scared to get in another relationship due to them having to go through me having these doubts and loss of attraction at times :( I need help I don't want to live this life I want this to all go away and back to how it was

Guys I’ve been very hesitant about getting on meds but my OCD thinking has gotten really bad. So I decided to just get fluoxetine and start it. But my reservations about meds is carrying over into my ocd and i’m scared when I take the medicine i’m going to start freaking out due to “placebo” in a way. Like i am going to start getting symptoms or freaking out and wanting to throw up the meds or something idk

Long story short it feels like I might have cheated on a class final project and my ocd is causing intense rumination and mental checking that I did nothing wrong or had no bad intentions. Also feel the urge to get validation from others if what I did was cheating or not and even confess to make the thought cycle stop. My question is how do I discern what I should truly feel guilt for vs what’s ocd just making my life harder by telling me I’m a bad person and done something terrible. How do I just let it go and move on without knowing for sure I did something wrong or confessing?

Hi! I am wondering if I am going about this wrong or backwards. I havnt spoken to a therapist and don’t even have a Diagnosis, I am only assuming I may have a form of OCD and well, not even sure if therapy would actually help. Never really thought I needed help. But I am curious about learning about myself more and bettering my self. Anyone have OCD/Hair pulling/ occasional intrusive thoughts? Im not sure if I am even in the right place. Also this took me over three days many restlessness nights and half my afternoon to actually type out….

Additional trigger warning topics of self harm I struggle with self harm. When I opened up to someone about my struggle with it they told me that my scars were so bad and that my future husband would have to see them. It hurt me really bad. I’m working on stopping and am in therapy to stop doing it. I’m honestly trying so hard. I’m now just afraid that because I have scars that look “bad” no one will love me. That was my best friend at the time who said those things abt my scars. Now I feel unlovable. My ocd tells me that I’m gonna die alone, and that no one will ever love me.