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Like I want to know this cause I have guilt, anxiety, sadness and all of these feelings more than the other feelings. So what is considered as happiness in this recovery process?

Do you have this feeling that everything must ne perfect in your relationship or you have a problem and you need to break up? I went with my boyfriend to the New Years Party yesterday and everything was fine, we were having fun. Then it comes to the fact that all of our friends go dancing and my bf is now not into dancing at all (because of his health he doesn't wanna dance, because he is not comfortable with that). And then I had a lot of intrusive thoughts that I'm not having fun because of that, what If I want something who will be having wild fun with me, even when he wanted me to go dance with our friends and he is completlty okay with sitting alone for a while, I felt a lot of guilt and I had thoghts like I should be with someone who is having fun with me, we are young and I want to party and maybe its just not a match (and we are together for a couple years and he is amazing bf) I've almost cried 2 hours at the Party because of the fact not everything is looking exactly like I wanted. This is not the first time I had something like that - its always when anything is happening not exactly like I imagined. If someone maybe had that? Maybe you can tell me some tips or a good words, because for now on the one hand I feel guilt that I could even think that and on the other hand I still have this thoughts that I just need to admit that I need something else

Why I wish I didn’t have ocd So it all started back in march 2023 where I was in a Minecraft server my ocd being itself nagged and nagged me about organizing the schematic files so I got angry at it and did something I would regret dearly I would spam rage type the keyboard and create a schematic group something that inst deletable so I asked the staff to delete it and they kept delaying it and banned me for it and they also said I was unfit to play on a public server because of my ocd this made me very angry so I reported the server to mojang several times and they did nothing about it now don’t get me wrong I don’t care about Minecraft or the builds my ocd only cares about the technical aspects of things I just know that if the roles we’re reversed I would not get away with it because I have bad luck I tried contacting them again but they pretty much said “it’s over with it’s done” which made me feel like I had to move on and more or less like a product And trust me I tried to keep it together and be this non ocd normal person but things didn’t work out Something needs to be done about this server Also other real event things causing me more stress like losing a wire and items in the past I can’t function I can’t sleep and I can’t eat How am I supposed to live like this I already have white hair at 17 because of the stress But those dipshits don’t see it that way they just see the worst moments not the good ones That why it’s so hard to compete with those without ocd and why I don’t want to live anymore

Hi everyone, I don't know if this is related to my OCD but idk what to do about this feeling and it comes from a feeling of not being in control of a situation, so I figured it might? If anyone has felt this way or has any tips I'd greatly appreciate it 😕 Basically, my husband and I were planning on having a lazy outdoors day today with our toddler, so I just threw on some leggings and a t-shirt. He ended up showering and dressing nicely and he looks very nice, but because it went against how I envisioned how we'd look today now I feel underdressed and sloppy, and I feel gross because I didn't shower too (he doesn't ever make me feel this way btw, it's a feeling that comes up for me often when things aren't how I expect them). What bothers me is that when this kind of a thing happens, I get like unreasonably upset like wanting to cry, and I don't know what to do to resolve the feeling. I want to change my outfit but I also don't want to, I feel bad about feeling this way because he does look nice and I don't want to make him feel bad for that, I feel physically uncomfortable in my clothes now, I feel like if I change outfits now it would be stupid. Sorry for the ramble 😞 I know it all sounds really silly but these little spirals really suck and I could use some advice. Again, idk if it's related to my OCD but I figured I'd put it here because most of the stuff I experience is related to my OCD so maybe this is too.

I'm a 73yo retired physician who's struggled with OCD most of my life. While initially tic like as a child, it has evolved into obsessive thoughts (like trying to figure out what time it would be if I interchanged the hands of a clock, constantly calculating exchange rates for money when I travelled overseas, figuring age differences between myself and someone else, to the month, etc), perfectionism (like cleaning shelves and countertops over and over until it felt right, screwing in a lightbulb until it felt right, often resulting in breaking it, etc.) But more recently small physical actions (like blinking 10 times in a row until it felt even, swallowing in a certain way until it felt right, often leading to drinking many glasses of water which I'd have to diurese the rest of the day, etc.)These are but a few if the myriad of symptoms that I get. It's like my mind sticks to things to keep it occupied. It's like there's a little dictator in my head that tells me what I need to do, and decides whether or not I did it right. It has waxed and waned throughout my adulthood, but I've managed to have a successful career and social life. I'm married and have a 24 yo daughter. But it sabotages enjoyment and peace of mind. There seems to be no definite triggering obsession other than the stress of aging and retirement, but over the last few months it seems to be getting worse. I had traditional therapy as a teenager, before OCD was considered a neuro disorder rather than from dysfunctional past experiences. I've had OCD targeted therapy including groups with the Anxiety and Panic Treatment Center in Portland, OR, which kind of helped for a while. I do see a family oriented therapist for other issues. As far as meds, once I conceded that I needed them, Paxil worked for a while, but had a side effect profile. Lexapro, although promising at first, doesn't seem to help much now. So I'm considering entering more focused therapy. I'm open to whatever ERP can offer, although the symptoms change continually. And the role of mindfulness... Sent from my iPhone

I really don't know if this is going to help anyone but I was wondering if anyone has noticed a trigger so small that it's so pathetic it's actually funny. I thought we can all laugh at them together 🤣 One of mine would be is not showing enough gratitude for something or realising I've shown too much and feel like I look like an idiot. Seems small but I remember that being a regular trigger as I didn't want to be rude but also didn't want to be weird

How do I stop ruminating so much? It seems like anytime I make a mistake (getting into a fight, doing something wrong, upsetting a friend, etc) I just ruminate and overthink the entire situation and what the results could be. I’ll also know deep down and in my mind that my mind is just overthinking and I’m just creating scenarios in my head (ex: my friend telling my mom what I did after we have an argument or something), but it’s like my mind just can’t believe myself. Any advice??

hey guys, i was recently diagnosed with OCD and i was hoping id find some guidance here. About two months ago, I started to re-do my bedroom. I was very distressed because this is the room i’ve always been in, i grew up here. Part of me felt bad for painting over the walls. In order to paint my walls though, we had to move everything out of my room and organize it all. One day I was at work, and i got home to see every belonging of mine sitting in my living room. this wasn’t the issue, the issue was 1. I was not there to watch it 2. my things were placed in the wrong place and actually just thrown in random spots For days, all my things sat in the living room because I had no motivation to actually go through it all. My mom said I had way too much stuff and I needed to go through every single item and get rid of at least half. I kept trying to put it off but eventually I found myself unable to avoid it. I began going through my things and I was NOT able to get rid of anything. here’s why: 1. someone gave it to me and i felt like they would be mad if i got rid of it 2. the item holds a specific memory 3. it was “one of a kind” 4. I might need it someday My things have always been there, and it did not sit right with me that i would have to part with some of it. I eventually found myself having an absolute meltdown and yelling at my mom. I felt so bad but the more my things were messed with, the worse it got. I even tried to walk out of the house and not return. My mom always said “there’s no way that you are okay living like this” because i had so much clutter, and i would always respond with “it’s comforting to me, and i like it there.” and nobody could grasp the idea of my organized chaos and i felt fucking crazy. My grandma was helping me decorate my room and she’s very minimalistic, and she was trying to enforce that on my room but i’m a maximalist, and I need my stuff there. No empty space. Another meltdown I had was when my grandma put my clothes away, but she didn’t put them in the right drawers. My entire life I have kept the drawers the same. sweaters on bottom, then pants, shirts, socks/underwear. So when my grandma put my pants in the sweater drawer i just about shit my pants. I hid in the bathroom because I know she was just trying to be helpful and i didn’t want to yell at her. This is just one of the things that i’m experiencing, there’s so much more but i’m still trying to learn what this disorder is and why it’s happening. tips would be appreciated:) i won’t disclose my age, but i’m young.

I am getting my Ph.D., and am wondering if I should tell my dissertation chair about my OCD?? He probably thinks I’m just annoyingly anxious but I feel like he should know, given he’s my chair and we will work together for the next three years (have already for a year). Yeah?

One thing that I’ve noticed about my OCD is that it makes me feel very regretful and embarrassed at the end of every day. I reflect on every interaction and every conversation and any thought that I’ve had throughout the day. As a result, I feel more and more ashamed of the way that I act, even though it is probably normal for some of my age to act and see the things that I say. Earlier today I flirted with a guy and then as soon as it ended I had so much religious and moral guilt about it. Does anyone have any advice on how to not feel so ashamed after doing the typical activities that people in their 20s do? I feel like these thoughts are making me want to isolate from everyone else so that I’m not put in the position to do and say these things. I feel comfortable with myself when I don’t talk to anybody but I’m noticing that that can’t be normal . I don’t want to lose friendships and potential relationships out of fear that I’m going to say something wrong. I don’t know what to do.

It’s been two days since I ended up not going to check in my fridge to see if I did lock a stray kitten inside of it, if there was indeed one, it’s most likely dead by now, and I’ll never know if there was one because it’s possible my parents who also use the fridge have seen and removed it, though they might not have seen it because they are quite careless, or found one but didn’t tell me because they now about my mental illness and don’t want to hurt my feelings. I’m still not sure it was the right decision, I could’ve taken 15 mintues to thouroughly check the fridge one last time. I feel like shit...

My girlfriend and I had sex a about 10 days ago. She is not on birth control, I wore a condom but in the moment I put it on the wrong way at first and then switched it around. I’m terrified that I got her pregnant from precum. I’ve been absolutely obsessing about the possibility of it happening. From what I read it’s extremely low possibly, but OCD is saying she is pregnant. I cannot shut my brain off. I love my girlfriend more than anything and was going to propose to her later this year. I just keep thinking if she is pregnant will I be able to provide, even though I have a steady great income job and so does she. I think will my OCD get so bad that I can’t go to work and lose everything. I used to deal with Sexual and harm OCD, and I just keep thinking will this come back and start if I have a kid. Any tips or help would be greatly appreciated. Thank you everyone

What's the best way you learned to stop obsessing and ruminating over things going "wrong"? It usually happens when I have a lot of time on my hands. Any realistic or unrealistic, logical or illogical thinking can happen during these times & I'm just reaching out for support. What's the best advice you've ever received, dealing with OCD?

Accept uncertainty and question your assumptions about worst case scenarios. Recognize all or nothing thinking and practice taking a step back. It's tough, but we can do this!

I have such bad ocd over my looks and my friends aren't helping. A lot of my friends are dudes and they tend to he really crass. Yk the engineering types right? I have this one friend who's like well super honest and he's not a bad person he's my fashion friend no shade against him. I often ask him for advice for fashion and he told me I looked a lot hotter without my glasses, that I go from a 7.5 to a 10/10. Me and my ex were joking around and we are still friends and i was like "you're a 7 youfe cute why are you still single?" Amd he was like "you're an 8 and you are too!". We were just joking around and my ocd fixated on it. My other friend once we were talkijgbaboit looks and dating and he was like "you're not average but you're not a model" which is true. This other time (now this was actually kind of weird) I have this one male friend that is objectively unattractive and was into me, and i had a massive crush on a guy who's super hot and we were talking about him and he was like "well he has low self esteem so will probably say yes" which kind of hurt my feelings. We were also just talking about men and women and dating and he was like , if you make the first move unless he's smoking hot he will say yes. So either he meant he's not going to try to look for other options first so will immediately say yes, or you're mid. The same dude also told me that I was pretty so idk. My ocd is making me fixate on my looks. My depression is terrible so being pretty feels like the only way I can have value. I don't see how I'm worth anything if I'm not pretty. Like there's nothing else about me that's worth anything

My name is Becky and I am in my early 60s. I have gone through many phases of my OCD-ness including bulimia, biting my nails, compulsive activities like cleaning/tasks, and now it is picking myself. It just seems to transfer from one thing to the next. So, if you do anything weird with your OCD, "I GET IT! I do live a productive life and it does not consume me so please have hope. I am very successful and I have to say some of the brainy stuff that goes wandering through my head constantly has aided me in creating my own business and success. I just wanted to say, that OCD is not the end of you. I think most importantly helpful for me is to pour myself into things that are positive and that I love. I also turned my life around for the better when I started really being grateful for everything that I had.. SERIOUSLY I spend 1/2 hour in the morning going all over the globe in my head to be grateful for all of my family, friends, and relatives. It has changed my life (and probably another form of OCD, hahaa) BUT IT WORKS! My life changed for the good (and when I don't do this, my life falls apart!) OCD can be very lonely and actually very selfish because it can take you out of the moment therefore taking away from relationships 'being present". Life is a journey, but one day at a time and I am trying to not let this have power over me but to minimize the "creature". Do not ever think that the OCD makes you less. It can actually change you into MORE and a better person, more empathetic and a very humble human. CHEERS to the journey and let's take baby steps and bite off 1 bite of the elephant at a time.

Unable to sleep, my area was making me anxious so I started cleaning at 7AM randomly. I don’t have a problem with cleaning, convincing myself I’ll have a long deserved shower to wash away germs. However, my cleaning process contains an entire system of what needs to be done first to prevent cross-contamination, going from least dirty to dirty. However, my dad did something that made me visibly angry, placing a pack of unused sponges I had used for the process, was right next to the bottle of face cleanser I use daily, right after I finished cleaning everything spotlessly. Distressed that my daily cleanser was next to something where germs could be roaming around, even though they had been completely new sponges. I wasn’t sure what to react in that moment besides obvious frustration spurring in my head. But I thought a little too much about how I should feel, and then I told myself, “Should I be angry? Well, yeah! After all this work I put in?” I’m an 18 year old, but I felt like a child had just came out and groaned into a tantrum. A child-like tantrum unlocked inside of me. I gave my mom an earful about my dad’s actions. I wasn’t actually mad at either of them but angry at what happened. Through my own lengths to avoid it, I poured the contents of my cleanser into a new container and discarded the old contaminated bottle. Because of this, this is the big reason I keep most of my own products in my room, nothing out of greediness and pettiness, but the possibility of contamination. Overall, I felt a lot better after a deserved shower, but I never knew how my temperament could spout the frustrations of that of a child. I feel a kinda bad for reintroducing my 4-year old self to my parents at ten o clock in the morning so I’m going to treat them to a salad lol.

I hope this is okay to put here, I feel awful. I also feel like it doesn't belong here. I just need to get it out somewhere. So there's a huge social problem with what's called a fetishisation of mlm (gay people and relationships). It's basically where predominantly females engage in for example fiction with gay relationships. This is not necessarily bad on its own, it's when these people view the people as just objects in the relationship and it changes their view (negatively) on real mlm people. Also when women read it just for their own enjoyment of reading two men being together. So the thing is, I read lots of fiction and in fact 100% (pretty sure) is mlm. For obvious reasons this made me panic because I don't want to be that person. I don't want to be that gross person and the thing is I do understand. It makes sense to me why it makes people uncomfortable. Some people say it's bad under all circumstances and that they will block you if you're like this. Again, I understand. Others say it's fine as long as you treat gay people with respect in real life. Which I like to think that I do. I have noticed that I tend to think female characters have less depth and are less interesting than male ones and I feel bad that I think this and hopefully I am able to change that. Hopefully it is only due to the fact I've always only read things with mlm in. I just wanted to watch my favourite show's new season again but then I started thinking what if I'm just fetishising mlm again. I don't want it to get views from something bad I've done so I started reading up on Tumblr and I think it is what I'm doing, I hate it with my whole heart and I so understand why people find it gross and terrible and I hate that I might be part of it, I just want to enjoy the show and I love the characters but I don't want to now. I just feel so guilty I don't know why I'm like this I just want to be good and respect everyone why can't I just enjoy it why did it have to make me bad? All I want to do is enjoy it. This show, it's my safe space. My happy place. And I can't live with myself. I love it so much and I don't know what to do. It's my favourite thing ever. I'm just so angry that I've turned out like this. Thank you if you made it this far. I just don't know what to do.

I feel like this one issue is making me crazy So I'm talking to someone as a potential date and some of our conversations have gotten a little lewd and suggestive. Without giving too many details I'm a support worker for vulnerable adults. I'd never respond to such messages around the people I support. But one day because of how the schedule went I had a break from the person I was supporting for a few minutes and responded something kind of lewd when they weren't around at all and I was walking back to my car. Idk if it's because I was technically still on the clock even though I wasn't with them for a bit but I can't shake the feeling that this was horribly wrong and completely inappropriate and it's driving me nuts going back and forth. For context there's also some things around relationships and sexuality where I'm also unsure of what's normal or appropriate because of an extremely sheltered upbringing and some trauma. So things like this that are probably no big deal to most people I'm so unsure about. Unfortunately my therapist isn't available this week but I'll definitely talk about it with her next time. But in the meantime I was hoping for some advice or thoughts.

I had my third session today, and my therapist and I are filling out my fear and response list. For some reason I'm having a hard time filling out compulsions and even some of the fear responses. It's like everything is so connected it's hard to separate it in my head. I've never tried to do this before. Also maybe I can explain the compulsions in a longer sentence but it's hard to use just one word. And most of my triggers cause a pretty high number of distress, but I need to find something with less anxiety to start the exposure therapy. Does anyone have advice on how to make this process easier, or just an example of how they filled this form out? Thanks.