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Hello everyone, this is my first post. I just wanted to write about how I am currently feeling, because I am having a hard time. Maybe someone has the same problem. I feel like, my OCD is the worst while working. I control everything many times and am always afraid to make the wrong decisions . Even after work I think a lot about work and very often get very bad anxiety. I am very insecure and need to know everything for sure before making a decision at work. I don’t even have a job, where something catastrophic could happen if I make the wrong decision, but it always feels like it. I already called in sick last week and during that time, I felt so much better. But I can’t call in sick every week. Does anyone feel the same and how do you manage this situation?

My brain keeps obsessing over the idea that my mum could develop cancer. My brain keeps saying things like 'move your head twice' or 'tap the floor twice' and it has to feel RIGHT to make sure that she won't. But also all of my compulsions are basically praying until it feels right so when I move my head it's in the direction of the picture of God I have in my house for example, and it feels right. But when I do ERP and delay my compulsions they don't go away, they just come back stronger later in the day like a reminder that I really do have to do this. And if I refuse it's like I'm wasting the opportunity and giving this up, so I'm telling god that I'd be fine with her getting cancer and then she really will. I don't know what to do about this :(

Recently I have started obsessing over my looks especially with regards to aging. I feel that I'm getting "old" (silly I know, I'm 25 turning 26) and I feel like I'm getting body dismorphia or something. Ive realised I'm scared of losing my youth (not necessarily with regards to looks). I am scared to become an actual adult with responsibility. This also correlates with me moving in with my boyfriend and things progressing towards more serious stuff (engagement maybe?). And next year I'll graduate. It's all so scary. And I feel like I'm very very strict and obsessive with a lot of things in my life right now. Anyone relate?

I feel like my mind is a storm. So many thoughts. I can't focus lately, becoming very forgetful (I also read about how there is such a thing as early onset dementia or alzheimer's and that is worrying me) I also worry what if I have ADD or ADHD along with OCD. I have so many things to do for my university studies and I'm so stressed. My room is a mess and I have many health worries and intrusive thoughts. I feel like I'm going to have an anxiety/panic attack. I'm scared of losing my mind or that I will lose control. It is 4am and I can't sleep because I feel too on edge and I'm so scared.

My daughter is almost 9 and she was diagnosed OCD almost 2 years ago. I am looking for support on how to support her. She has reassurance compulsions, always needs to know everything is okay. This can be from touching something or smelling something or walking by something. She asks me like 400 times a day.. she also needs the house in perfect order all the time. She is the 2nd oldest of 4 and can’t handle anyone playing with anything or things being out of place. She won’t ever relax and is constantly cleaning and reorganizing the house. She also is very fearful of being sick and is scared that everything will make her sick. She also has a really hard time making friends because it’s hard for her to hide what is bothering her. I thought she might have hfasd, and her psychiatrist agreed that she might but I figure if I can start helping her OCD then maybe I can help her as a whole. She just has a lot of anxiety attacks and I am burnt out on what to do. I feel helpless in how to help her. There are 3 other kids I am responsible for and she consumes almost every moment of my day, except for when she is at school.

If I don’t think like “if I don’t do this in 8s my family will die” is it still ocd? I still will say if I don’t do it in 8s it doesn’t feel right but I never think stuff like my family will die or something. Is it still ocd? Help lol

So even tho I'm not yet diagnosed, I am very sure that I have OCD because of other things unrelated to this post. But I was wondering if someone else also knows these situations and thinks this might be OCD as well^^ Sooo these are just three Situations but they are representative for other very similar things that happen to me every now and then. 1. So i was wearing a knitted jacket and noticed a lose sticht. This already made me angry because the jacket wasn't "perfect" anymore. So I took out my sewing kit and fixed the sticht and made it look as good as possible (and it DID look good in the end!). Nevertheless i had to check the entire day if it still looked good or if it looked ugly/unprofessionally done and then I always realized it still looked fine. 2. Whenever I wear tight pants or pants made out of thin material, I always worry about "something showing" through the pants. So I always have to check if people can see something and then I worry about people thinking I'm undecent/pervers for having a body that shows through clothing 😂 3. I was in the train the other day and there was this weird smell. Maybe someone was sweating or something. And then I started to believe it was me smelling weird and then I felt so gross, even tho I knew it was propably not me smelling bad.

Hello, does anyone have any advice on trying to stop doing rituals? My top ones have a lot to do with counting and anxiety over certain things. •the main one that bothers me SOO much is my bedtime alarm routine. I set all my alarms and then turn my ringer on and off 6 times. Then proceed to make sure my charger is plugged in twice. Then open and close my phone 3-5 times checking that my alarm is set. Once I put my phone down I checking the outlet one more time and the alarm one more time. •when I close at work I have to check the air is off at least twice. Then check the candle is out even though we never light it. After I look the door I pull on it 5 times These are just some examples. can someone please help on how to stop or at least lessen these!!??

I made a mistake that means I need to throw out 3/4 of a pizza. Super frustrated and I don't have an outlet. And I feel like I can't move forward with out resolving this issue by throwing it out. But I need reassurance to do that. I just feel stuck.

Im so sick and tired of wasting my life on pointless intrusive thoughts and obsessions this stuff is stupid borderline ridiculous. I have an obsession about trash on the ground can you believe that nonsense this is time wasted that can be for spending time with family and friends living !! I refuse to waste anymore time. I know this isnt going away right away but imma fight it with all my might !!

Another kid in the neighborhood when I was 5, would molest me. I didn't like it. I went along with it. Laughed it off. When I did tell this kid that I didn't want to do that anymore, that she would get snide and insulting and this would go on all day as my mom watched this kid everyday after school. This kid was in the space where a best friend would be. They weren't a friend. Still, as much ss I didn't want her in my life, I would simultaneously worry about her not being my friend anymore, or about her turning other kids against me and I would act out in frightened ways. Telling the other kids not to listen to her. That she liked to say mean things about me. Then I'd freak out that she would find out that I told them that and so I'd try to cover my tracks by saying to her that those kids say things that aren't true. I felt like a sleazy liar, as I was. I was a coward and handled it all horribly. However, when I was with a friend that had nothing to do with her, I was a completely different person. No worries. Just a nice time spent together. However, she sabotaged that friendship by making me feel sorry for her as she wanted to be the other one's friend and I was made to feel guilty about being the other one's friend. That ended horribly. As I grew up I felt very distrusting and paranoid of any romantic relationship and paranoid of other close friend relationships being destroyed. My worst time with OCD was as an adolescent and when my mom was very ill. That's when I had horrible visions and fears of causing harm by just doing simple things. For exampl, if I step on that crack my whole family will go to hell, so I'd have to avoid the cracks even the lines around tiles. Or if I don't humiliate myself right now by for example, raising my hand in class for no reason, or worse humiliation the same thing will happen. Those things lightened up as my mother got better and adolescents passed. However it lingers. It gets in the way of what could be a much better life for myself and my loved ones. I wonder if my OCD was brought on by the situation with the kid my mom watched every day.

Here is all my symptoms that I have been experiencing: 15 years old - first symptoms playing Fortnite and when playing my brain will tell me “go pickaxe that tree, do it or you will lose the game” and if I attempt to leave it my brain will say “go back, you better go back, you better do it or you’ll lose” until I give in and do it 18 years old - symptoms worsen with obsessions (such as certain games or tv shows) and I start to worry excessively and asking for constant reassurance that things are the way I think they are (if people like me, if people think the way I think etc) Present day - much worse symptoms: Noise sensitivity with doors in rooms being open and I can hear TV extremely loud or when people are talking in huge groups around me so I got noise cancellation headphones because I became so unbearable I couldn’t study or focus in education or at home. Obsessions with order such as sorting figurines in order of colour or name for hours at a time and excessive leg bouncing and tapping on tables for hours at a time (sometimes I don’t even notice until someone point it out), zoning out or becoming hyperactive. Feeling of extreme boredom very quickly after finishing tasks and extreme irritability especially when things aren’t done my way or done incorrectly. I can read people very well before anyone else does and I pay attention to details no one else can. I also think more in depth that other people sometimes in a manipulative way (I wanted to win certain things so I would act and do certain things so ensure I would win or I would say things so people would do what I wanted) and the biggest symptom I’ve had longest is lack of empathy and emotions. Are these all related to OCD or is this something else?

Hi there! I'm new to the NOCD community. Up until very recently, I thought I just had anxiety but hearing some of my friends talk about their OCD and realizing I related to a lot of things has made me really confused (I always thought OCD was limited to contamination OCD). The way my anxiety/OCD presents is largely through comparisons to other people and this is enhanced in relationships. I'm not sure why but if my partner/friend is doing X or Y that day I have to do that too and if I can't or don't I feel like shit about myself and I ruminate constantly about it. Another example would be if my partner/friend has X number of friends I have to have that exact number of friends (that have the same "characteristics" too). I've always been really ashamed of this because I know it's stupid and I feel like a jealous/envious/bad person so I've never really talked about it. I had a 3 year relationship and this constant comparing and trying to do the exact same things my partner was doing made me so miserable and depressed. I never wanted to talk about it to anyone because I felt like it was stupid. Another way my OCD/anxiety presents is I get obsessed over the process of things rather than the results. Like when I study first exams I have to revise X topics a day (and do so in a very specific way, not leaving any details out) and if I can't I ruminate/make myself feel bad. Or if I'm building a chair from IKEA for example I have to follow the exact instructions and if I don't but it still works I will always feel like there's something wrong with the chair. I'm really lost right now and I guess I would really appreciate any insight/resources that would help with this. I've been in therapy for anxiety but never really gotten diagnosed with OCD so I'm just confused like is that not something that your therapist should tell you??

Hey everybody. I was recommended this app by my psychiatrist, and I wanted to check it out. I’ve read a few posts, and I wanted to share my own. I’ve put a trigger warning on here just in case it messes with someone. Trigger warning for sickness and vomit I’ve experienced symptoms of OCD for as long as I can remember. I was a heavily anxious child and I would constantly get upset over worrying about something. It’s kinda funny to look back on now, as one of my silly little fears was showers at Home Depot. One of the more vivid memories of me experiencing OCD would be when I was about 2-3 years old. When I was around this age, I would get really upset if my parents started the car before I got the chance to buckle up. It messed with my little brain and I was afraid of something bad happening. As I got older, me worrying about random stuff got worse and worse. When I was about ten years old I caught a really bad stomach flu that caused me to vomit multiple times during the night. For some reason, it scared me so bad for years. I developed a full on phobia of getting sick to the point where I wouldn’t eat as much as I should out of fear I’d get really sick. As I grew into my teens, that fear slowly got better, but it never truly went away. When I was about 12 years old my OCD was at its peak. I became incredibly superstitious and obsessed with “bad luck” and I would constantly be afraid of something giving me bad luck. It took a little while, but that slowly faded into “counting” and “checking” OCD (I think that’s what it’s called) where I would have to count in my head as I did things such as washing my hands, writing, or literally just touching something. For example, if I was washing my hands, I would have to count to 20 four times in my head in order to be done washing my hands or something bad would happen. I would also constantly have to check my closet, under my bed, under or around certain surfaces. If I didn’t do that, I’d convinced of something really bad happening while I was asleep. That continued on for years, causing me such distress. It slowly started fading into what I have now, which is “contamination OCD”. All of this would make me lose sleep at night, make me feel terrible, and sometimes would even get in the way of my social life. I finally decided to get help. I finally went to a psychiatrist when I was 16, and I was diagnosed quickly after I described what all I had gone through. I was put on medication, which slowly started to help me. I am doing a lot better now, but this is still a big part of my life. I have an amazing family, amazing friends, and an amazing girlfriend to help support me through everything. I am very lucky to have them. I want you to know that it’s okay to get help if you think you have OCD. In fact, I highly recommend it if you can. Being put on medicine was one of the greatest things that’s happened to me. Thank you guys for reading and I hope you are all doing well with your own journey. Stay safe you guys!

I have co-occurring Autism, GAD, bipolar, and ADHD along with my OCD and I always thought I had this great insight but there’s something that I never realized. I hate transitions. I don’t like being between phases. Between getting to a restaurant and being at a restaurant. Between sitting and placing your order. Between done eating and paying the check. There are other non-restaurant examples, but those come to mind because I’m heading to dinner. My NOCD therapist asked what I do in these situations. I explained that I have certain things that I do and that I have the people with me do. She asked why I thought people should follow what I said. I told her that the way I do things is right and logical and if they understood that, they’d want to do it my way. If it doesn’t matter either way for them, they should just do it my way because it matters to me. If they don’t care and they won’t do it my way that means they’re being difficult. She asked if I realized that I was forcing people to participate in my rituals and that, even though it seemed very logical to me, none of it was actually based in logic. It’s all just compulsion. That never occurred to me before…

Hello everyone I’m new to the app and I’m hoping that some others can relate. I have this idea (even though I know it truly doesn’t “work”) that I can control if bad things happen to me. More so bad luck. I have sudden thoughts of having to perform rituals like locking my car three times, making sure my clothes in my drawer are put away neatly, or cracking all my knuckles to make sure I don’t have “bad luck” if I don’t do these rituals I feel like I’m inviting bad luck into my life. Does anyone else have something similar?

Hi all, I've a bit of a dilemma. I have the "Pure" OCD themes (I'm not sure if thats what its actually called?) and they're horrible. However, I do deal with the more stereotypical OCD theme, such as perfection. I used to ruin my notes copy in school cause one line looked 'ugly'. I would tear pages, nearly soak the page in tippex, make holes on the page due to excessive overcorrecting. My mind would think what I was doing is making things better lmao. This wasn't just with my notes, it was in scrapbooks, things I would make in art class, etc. It was bad, but compared to the likes of my POCD theme, it was nothing. However, its acting up with a tattoo I'm after getting. Its in the healing stage and I'm looking at it. I've noticed it isn't as clear as it was on the first day. Theres a a few lines of ink that doesn't looked 'filled in', one line is croocked, and you can see the lines where it was filled in. But this his when I look *really* close to it, like I've literally my face to it and a light shining on it. Other than that, its not noticeable AT ALL. And cause I'm so up close, ofc I'm gonna notice the small things. I'm looking at it while I'm typing and I dont notice anything wrong. And the 'croocked" line, its on a star thats really tiny. Plus its HEALING. Like it's still scabby. I'm just wondering if anyone else has had their OCD flare up with a tattoo. I think i'm overreacting cause this is gonna be on me forever. I just wish my mind would leave me alone. And if a line wasn't filled in properly ever so slightly (or maybe it didn't heal correctly), it shouldn't be a big deal. Cause again, it's not noticeable at all. I'm hoping maybe if thats the case, I'll be content with it and not ruin it by getting it done again (cause I know I'd be temped). Other than that I really like it. Its a butterfly tattoo in the style of a Celtic knot with little stars around it. I'll attach a picture if anyone wants to see. But I've gotten sooo many compliments on it :) I feel like that should outweigh whatever imperfections my OCD has latched onto. Juts a pity that something I've been looking forward to for years has turned against me.

But thanks to doing ERP, I feel like OCD is barely a part of my life now. It's crazy because I have had maladaptive perfectionism for essentially my whole life, and I developed tics that were probably OCD-related at a young age. I've had a variety of themes (mental contamination, existentialism, symmetry, gender, etc.), with the most recurring one being the "just right" subtype. Even though the thoughts still come, I no longer give into the compulsions. Sometimes, I think "oh no, I erased and rewrote a word just now - isn't that giving into a compulsion?" and then I just accept that I can't really know and go on with my life. As long as you're willing to commit to truly exposing yourself to your triggers, to sitting with uncertainty or imperfection, OCD doesn't have to be your destiny. I really never imagined I could get to a point where, for instance, I could write a post like this one in 10 minutes, rather than 3+ hours of googling synonyms of every word, reading it over and over again, checking how I felt about it, and ultimately deleting it (feeling that pressure in my head and body all the while, that feeling of things not being quite right). It's honestly hard to remember how bad it really was. Life isn't perfect, but it's alright. I'm finally letting myself just... do the things. To anyone in the throes of OCD who is currently reading this, you don't have to believe me. I certainly wouln't have when I was in your position. You just need to commit to doing the exposures (and to not doing the rituals), as much as you can, even - and especially - imperfectly. And maybe one day, you'll realize that the thoughts aren't quite as anxiety-inducing as they once were, and the urge to do your compulsions is not quite so strong, and now you have time to do some of the things that you wish you could before.

Hello, I am fairly new to this app. I wanted to speak about the way I dream. I have dreams like I am hurt physically usually bloody either self inflicted or by some random person in my dream. Then I get saved by people I care about like friends or even people that I have a crush on. Or sometimes I have dreams that I speak about tramuatic events that I went through as a child to a crush and the feel bad for me and want to help me. I dont fear these dreams at all but I notice every time I sleep I ball my fists and when I dont I cant sleep.I clench my fists so hard in the morning they are sore. Also these dreams are almost every night.I am also very sensitive to how people talk to me if I am yelled at I shut down and have chest palpitations that radiate to my heart to my arms numbing it. Does anyone else experience any of these? Ive been researching and found myself here. For reference I have been tested for ADHD and I dont have it but I was told I might have OCD from the other symptoms I experience like heavy Intrusive thoughts, anxiety attacks/episodes, depression,dissociation ( like I am not real and even my emotions are like frozen and more) , bothered all day if something is moved by someone else when I put it a certain way, rituals ( blinking, and looking away from something multiple times mostly in number of twos etc), contamination ( washing my hands many times in between getting dressed after eacb task to feel clean), hating certain textures of fabrics or objects(more of a werid one ive had for a long time),procrastination, reassurance on all my action causing me to not think for myself, poor memory or false memory,and more.Any response would be helpful.

Over tun last almost year I have realised I most likely have ocd, I have done so much research, which u can probably tell because I’m on here, during late night episodes and have remembered so many signs from my childhood and started noticing things in my everyday life. I have always had a feeling that something wasn’t quite right in me and I could never put a finger on it and I thought all the thoughts I got were truth and I was a serious danger, I had no idea it was ocd! Probably because of how social media portrays it. Today I have been really striving to get my mum to get me a doctors appointment to get this checked out, which I’ve found very hard to do because I’m 16 so I still mainly relay on my parents for things like getting me to the doctors. I just want to know, did the diagnosis help? And do I even have a right to say I have ocd if I don’t have a diagnosis just yet? I mean from what I know from my extensive research I most definitely do. Some examples of my symptoms are: 1. When I was little and now as well in recent months I had a serious obsession with making everything equal on my hands and it got to the point where to stop me doing this I would say “stop Alice stop” over and over to stop myself 2. I constantly have to pick up and put down things untill it feel right, this have been happening a lot recently because it’s exam season so I keep having to pick up every thing on my desk multiple times during the exam. This also first started around the age of 9 3. I’ve been getting very vivid and convincing harm thoughts since the age of about 11 and they used it scare me so much to the point when I would make my animals leave my room or I would never stop thinking about it. I was seriously convinced I was insane. I still get these thoughts but nower dayd I get alot more ROCD thoughts but I do still get harm thought during bad flare ups The list goes on and on and on I’m just wondering does it sound like I ahve ocd? Or am i just insane and trying to convince myself other wise? Please people reply I need you guys help!!!