Welcome to
the NOCD Community

I was wondering if anyone else has dealt with OCD that revolves around food? For instance I’ve had an eating disorder from OCD for about 2 years now. I’m scared to eat food I’ve always eaten due to the fear of an allergic reaction. I also have a fear of my food being poisoned or laced with drugs. It makes it very hard for me to eat at times because I’ll have the symptoms of anxiety where my throat feels tight as if I can’t swallow or I’ll feel really panicked after I eat a fear food. Logically I know I’m not allergic to many of the foods I’ve ditched. It’s like my OCD clings to the fact others have allergies to things like peanuts & other foods. I used to be able to eat foods just fine and I love food! I just have so much fear of not having control once I’ve consumed something and that what if thought pops in. I believe all this stemmed from me trying an edible and it being one of the worst experiences ever. Felt like I was spiraling and not in control of anything. I even deal with extreme derealization/depersonalization and it feels so similar to the bad high. & I just get scared someone will lace my food just for the fun of it. So now when I eat I get scared even though logically I know my food is just food and I need it!! I’m doing much better than before, I eat even when I feel anxious too. I had stopped eating and drinking water due to my ocd tricking me (didn’t know I had ocd at the time, I thought my negative impulse fear based thoughts were intuition but they weren’t) and ended up in the hospital. I still have many fear foods that are actually very healthy that I need to start eating again. I am suffering from low iron due to not eating correctly from this fear. I’m on a iron supplement though and I’m eating better than I was. I’m just wondering if anyone else has or is dealing with similar?

My beloved cat of 6 years is extremely sick, i adopted him when i was in the army and hes always helped me get through my PTSD. After about 1K in vet bills the vet said he likely will not survive this week, and i should consider euthanasia as its most likely advanced pneumonia or heart disease. Hes a indoor only cat and when i was trying to feed him his tooth scratched me and i got a tiny cut. Now my OCD is trying to convince me i somehow got rabies on top of it already going crazy and mourning my cat even though hes still fighting and not yet gone. I feel awful that now im scared to continue caring for him because now im scared of being near him

Does anybody else’s intrusive thoughts come in the form of “delusional thoughts”? I’ve been in a terrible episode of hypochondria or ocd for the past 6 months where I have FULLY convinced myself I am developing schizophrenia, it started with becoming really easily overstimulated and not being able to concentrate and now it has spiraled out of control to where I am constantly getting intrusive thoughts center around demonic stuff, which i have never ever believed before, I have always been skeptic. But now i get these thoughts all the time like “what if this song has hidden demonic meanings?” “What if your wife is a demon” “what if nobody is real and your just in hell” “what if this political figure if just being controlled by the devil”, the typical kind of delusional thoughts you would expect from a schizophrenic. Not only does the fact that I’m even having these thoughts in the first place scare the life out of me, but I have to constantly battle with these thoughts in my head if I believe them or not. I feel like I have to constantly hold myself back from fully going off the deep end, I feel like I have to constantly disprove these thoughts and stop myself from believing them, but they feel so real and it’s scaring me so much. One part of me is like “why can’t we just stop worrying about this, this is delusional” and another part of me is like “what if I actually do need to worry about if these things are true or not, they FEEL true” and I’m just like “wtffff I shouldn’t have to worry about if things like this are true at all in the first Place!” I feel like I have fully lost my mind, and in no time I’m going to lost this little bit of insight I have. Btw: yes I am seeing 2 therapists and a psychiatrist and all of them do not believe I am developing schizophrenia.

I did a pretty intense workout with an empty stomach and I felt shaky and anxious right after. I hate this feeling. I ate and Im laying here for the shakiness to wear off. My anxiety is high and I’m having ugly thoughts like “am I going to go crazy” am I going to feel this forever” and it’s making me sad. Can someone talk to me. This feeling sucks.

hi so i am pretty new to discovering ocd and trying to figure out why i am feeling the way i am feeling. i’ve never been diagnosed with ocd and honestly thought my anxiety was just super bad until it started affecting the way i saw my relationship. i’ve never had this bad of anxiety in my relationship and around november of last year is whenever i started noticing the cycle of repeated thoughts of “should i break up with him?” ive been with my boyfriend for almost two years. yes we’ve been through our ups and downs and our relationship has overall been such a beautiful relationship (super healthy compared to old ones) we love each other deeply and communicate and just overall find ways to help improve our relationship healthier and i’ve had a doubt here and there throughout these years but since last November i started feeling disconnected with him a little. i started to question sometimes if i really loved him. other times i told myself and asked myself if i should break up with him. if we really loved each other. i started focusing on his features a lot more. to the point where these thoughts around him made me feel so extremely uncomfortable. i’ve done all my research trying to figure out if I love him or not and trying to find reassurance and other people stories to see if they feel the same way I would also see how I feel whenever I was around him and it got to a point where I overall just felt very disconnected with him and a lot of different forms. I sometimes will forget about these thoughts and I will go out through my week throughout my days and I won’t even think about them and then something good will happen actually and it will trigger that immediate thought or sometimes we’re not even doing anything we’re just hanging out and being together and that will trigger the thought of wanting to break up with him and it makes me extremely uncomfortable and it makes me panic gives me anxiety and it just stresses me out because I know it’s not true, but my brain has tried to fully convince myself it is. I was doing really good and I figured out how healthy I wanted this relationship to be recently and because we’ve been so stressed on talking about our relationship and moving on even further and growing together, it started coming back and now I’m very very anxious again. I also have this type of anxiety of obsessing over things such as my health. When it comes to my gut health to my skin I have a very bad habit of having perfectionism not only within, my body face and everything around what is myself. I have a lot of anxieties, and I always thought it was just very severe anxiety until when I was researching why I was doubting my love for my boyfriend I heard of ROCD and I was super curious to know if I even have OCD, I brought it up with my psychiatrist and she doesn’t think that I have any. I have so much anxiety over this I feel like it’s physically and mentally controlling my body from how much it’s overwhelming me. I don’t know what to do. I keep convincing myself it’s not even RCOD and maybe I truly don’t love him but I have no other proof or feelings that that could be true. It’s just a thought that circles in my head and no matter how many reassurance I give myself it will come back within an hour, if someone could please give some advice I will have my own therapy session here soon and I’m very excited to know how I can overcome this

My new obsession is any little pain I feel around my heart or arm is a heart issue even if I know deep inside is no my thoughts will try to convince me that it is and that I should be hyper super alert of any sensation for “safety” well today I stopped the hyper focus on it and just letting the pain be there I felt so risky like I was risking my life but pain when away and I felt so much better after taking the “risk”

2 years ago when I saw the news about Russia and Ukraine i almost became psychotic. I never leaved my room. And I never stopped crying with the fear that I was going to die. I live in the UK and there’s loads of stuff on the news (I’m not allowed to watch anymore because of my anxiety) and on tik tok saying ‘UK going to war’. I have this debilitating sense of doom. I’m hysterical right now. Please can anyone help me? Some information or anything?

Has anyone gotten sick and/or started antibiotics and your OCD suddenly flared up? It is the weirdest thing. I was fine and then Boom a flare up. Although not as bad of a flare up, it’s there.

Here's my story, I'm just your typical 33 year old, going through life, started feeling depressive/anxiety symptoms starting about 29.5. Benefitted from CBT immensely. I am also avid podcast listener and did a lot of diligent work on this path to self discovery, overcoming my people pleasing, learning to set boundaries, saying guilt free nos', standing up for myself without it wrecking me after, so on. My symptoms on most days are non existent, just the usual stuff, the seasonal depressions, and so on. The only thing I haven't fully mastered/managed/learned to manage has been my somatic symptoms. I get hyper aware of some sensation, or symptom, try to ignore it, goes away on its own, the mental triggers, I got that down, ignore/observe/let it fade away. Few years ago, I developed somatic breathing, where I suddenly become aware of my breathing, or feeling like there isn't enough of it, this started post pandemic. Think it had to do with a lot of anxiety, not having seen my family in years, so on. There was also some swallowing related somatic feelings too, I used to check my O2 sat. That was probably the trigger. It went away over the course of the years and became manageable and even one I totally overcame. Recently, I've been feeling kinda stuck, wanting some change, feeling like there is a permenence to the impermanence, coupled with a rather depressing and low sunlight winter, I am going through a bout of seasonal depression. My darling body and mind are taking care of me, being over protective, etc etc. Few weeks ago, I had a near fainting episode, with the trigger being fear itself. Coupled with dehydration, some exertion by taking too many stairs, I even remembered thinking, oh this is happening, it was brief, and I went to the ER, they were amazing, took so much care of me, did all kinds of tests, and determined that I was all good, just an unfortunate incident. Now my depression is making me not feel motivated to workout or anything, but I am high functioning and I get through it without much of a change in how I show up in the world. I was able to invariably conclude that the trigger was fear itself. And I recently heard a podcast where the doctor/speaker mentioned that for somatic symptoms, the distraction on onset of symptoms itself is the trigger. Much like when we shine a light on a strange thought. Although it's only been a week and a half. I'm already mostly back to normal, and grateful for all the support and kindness I've found during this time from family, friends, and the amazing doctors. Here is my little insight: there is a catch 22 about somatoform, the fear of the fear or fear of reoccurrence, or reading about the symptoms, even to educate yourself, are triggering. Much alike pure o. My only suggestion, compassion to yourself, and do your exposures when you are ready, don't rush. Love and wellbeing to you all.

I have extreme fear of rabies and it triggered my usually bearable ocd to the point i cant function normally. Whenever I pass by something on the ground resembling a bat my brain tells me its a bat and that I have touched it with my hand and that I have rabies now. Sometimes I take a photo of potential triggers to be sure I wont ruminate later aka ask myself what if it was this or that and i just look at the photo i took and be sure its nothing. The triggers are also becoming harder to bear everytime, for example 3 days ago it was night and I saw something small and dark on the ground and didnt see it clearly, phone was almost dead and i couldnt take a photo of it, probably wouldnt anyway because there were two people nearby so i just left myself a note in the phone that it was nothing and I didnt touch it, but you guessed it, my brain says its a bat and that i touched it, creating a false memory and now i feel like i cant know what actually happened..rn i cant think of anything but being terrified of dying of rabies because i cant trust my memory. I feel like Im going crazy

I didn't even realize. I'm about to get my period and my anxiety is higher. I'm noticing how my friend hasn't written back to my texts or hasn't answered the last 3 times I called. I think he doesn't want to be my friend anymore. I wrote a text and asked if I did something wrong and he didn't respond. My other friend annoyed me. And I think my other friend doesn't like me that much. I feel abandoned and forgotten and like I must be a bad friend or bad person or why would they all forget me like this. What did I do? Did I take my opinions too far? I've been picking at my skin, having a feeling of unrest. I just watch Netflix and lie on my couch to avoid it. I look okay, but I haven't worked in a year purposefully to find a new way, but I haven't found it yet. I'm doing so much, but it always feels like too little. I tell myself again and again that I'm doing enough, but there's always a voice that says no you're lazy, you're unhealthy and you're just making excuses. I hyperfixate on stupid solutions like blood tests, supplements, genetic testing to explain my symptoms my depression (or is it laziness) my anxiety, my lack of energy, my aches and pains. I quit all drugs and alcohol even caffeine. I track my sleep. I want to feel good. And believe it or not I was thinking I did feel good? Until the afternoon. I don't know. I really hope this is just some fucking b vitamin deficiency and I'll take some pills and be reborn as a human and not a trash pile. Look at me all perfect. With all my career, and my money, and friends who don't like me. Don't I look put together. I'm so imperfect and so scared of anyone finding out. I'm so scared to tell anyone how messed up I am on the inside. I rant to my therapist, my coaches, whoever but I'm just going around in circles. Without support I'd be fucking nuts. Thankfully I pay people to support me. Because no one would for free. Fuck my.life.

I lost my temper this morning because I can’t get into a routine with my meds. If I taje them late or early I’m in a bad mood for a lot of the day. I went full on street with a man over 70Rs which is about 50c US or 60p UK. I started having thoughts I’d end up in jail. I’m pretty sure I have ADHD so it is hard to take them at the exact time. I have an alarm set but I usually have left the house by the time it goes off. I’m also having thoughts that I’m getting psychosis. I have to figure out which hospital in this city has a psychiatric department so I can discuss my meds with someone. If I do take them on time for a while I feel amazing. 🤷‍♂️ I just wonder if anyone relates.

Hi, im relatively new to the community. I’m hoping I can reach out and hear from some people who have health ocd. I used to have perfectionism, or “everything right” ocd, but ever since an incident involving a health issue last year, it’s manifested into health ocd. It may have exacerbated by the death of someone close to me, as it was cancer-related, and that’s what my intrusive thoughts seem to be about most of the time lately. How do you deal with it, especially when you ARE someone that’s prone to health issues?

Was having really bad health anxiety worrying about chest pain being out of breath rapid heart rate. Went to the doctor today got an EKG done it came back normal have to follow up with cardiologist. But it’s so insane how anxiety can cause such crazy symptoms!!! Anyone else ?

I felt so understood when I learned that a characteristic of OCD is to question or doubt your own judgment. This is something I experienced quite frequently, and especially around my physical disability which causes pain. I wanted to ask if anybody else living with OCD and a disability or chronic illness sometimes questions their pain and has thought patterns along the lines of "this hurts... but does it really hurt?" Or " I don't feel good.... but do I just not feel good because I'm thinking about how I don't feel good?" Let me know in the comments if this is something you experience. Sending love and support to anyone living with OCD or other comorbid conditions. P.S- I have found OCD recovery YouTube Channel very validating

What's your experience with food & ocd? Curious how much you all feel your diet helps or affects you. It's actually helped me to reduce sugar and caffeine, only drinking decaf, but mainly being meat free again. No judgement on your lifestyle please share 🎃

Has anyone experienced weight gain while on lexapro? I was on it for many years with no weight changes, but recently gained weight without changing my diet or exercise and I’m wondering if lexapro could be contributing. Thanks!

For those of you who struggle with severe HA, how do you balance being your own advocate for your health with health anxiety. In my particular situation I have been to see a specialist who felt my situation was normal and recommended no tests or follow up. I have spiraled down the what if rabbit hole- what if they didn’t feel what I am feeling, what if they aren’t reading the same journal articles I am, what if something was missed and it’s going to fester. My friends and family feel I should accept the medical knowledge given and not seek a second opinion as that would be reassurance. So how do you find the balance?

I don’t know what to do anymore. Anytime I feel the highs OCD ruins it and I feel like I can’t be happy. Im 20 and I can’t imagine living the rest of my life like this. I have no idea what to do, im so hyper aware of my actions (blinking, etc) a complete hypochondriac and I cannot enjoy life anymore. There is no quality of life with horrible OCD.

Hi…I don’t know whenever I eat anything I feel heavy in my stomach and chest….i also feel tightness and heavy breathing is followed by….i Don’t know if it’s anything related to ocd or anxiety but every time I have a meal I feel this way. Does anybody has any advice on this?