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I’m currently in a very dark place I need some help. Are there Christians on this app who have got over the fear over the unforgivable sin? It makes me want to die.

It hurts I hurt a lot of people and the guilt is killing me like actually eating me alive and I can’t even get help my parents are kinda abusive and don’t want me going to therapy cause their afraid they or I will go to jail but I idk if I can go on When I started highschool at 14(currently 15 rn) I had a weird mentality that everything was sexual and that I could date anyone by just telling them I liked them and being honestly creepy. Idk what’s wrong with me I feel so weird like I don’t have crushes it’s just me wanting to have sx with people I find attractive and it’s so horrible. But before I realized how bad this was I hurt people I had 4 friends they all don’t talk to me anymore because I was so sexual with everything I made sexual jokes made everything sexual and just sexualized myself at every turn even when they told me to stop I wouldn’t listen. It’s sick. When I realized this was wrong it was too late. One of them stopped talking to me and doesn’t even want to look at me or wants me saying his name.and one of them says they don’t care but idk I think they do.and I was honestly in a horrible mental state and tried a few times and my other friend had enough of it and just stopped talking to me. I have a best friend who I met online she was so nice to me we used to date but we broke up. And we get close but I betrayed her trust when I sent her explicit butt pics to this 17yr old I wanted pics from and he said he wouldn’t mind me sending them (my best friend was 15) and I was begging this 17yr old for pictures when he declined a lot then the 17 yr old said he was manipulating me and how he was keeping me in a loop of mystery. My best friend found out about the picture thing and she was sick but forgave me cause she didn’t want me self harming IMFEEL sick because of that she put my feelings above hers when I was in the wrong and she said she doesn’t want to lose me as a friend but idk she said she forgives me cauee she knows I’m broken ig but that makes me feel worse. And I also begged this 16 yr old for pics when I was either 13/14 and I feel sick I begged for pics when he declined but my best friend says not to feel bad cause he was grooming her kinda but idk I wanan apologize to him. Lately I’ve been thinking of how I think I s@d someone from my school someone I one or my baby cousins or my little brother and it feels real like it happened and I feel like a pedo and a s*x offender and Ik no one can forgive me idk if I want to go on it feels like death is the only way to atone for what I did . When I told my 4th friend about why my other friends don’t talk to me anymore he didn’t respond I think that cemented how bad I really am how sick I am I’m no different than a child pred or sx offender. My parents don’t even like me they always remind me how I treat them bad or how I’m a bad person. I feel horrible. Maybe I should just be locked up

soo im 17 , and im on 100 mg of Zoloft. And I’m just kind of thinking am I gonna be on this medicine forever, is this medicine going to mess up my brain, or like the development of my brain it’s really messing with me.

Earlier today for about a few hours i spent the whole entire time in my room researching a certain topic and feeling 100% convinced it was true and that it was the real me and i never had ocd. There was convincing evidence too. I was freaking out, crying, etc. i hardly remember what i was thinking, its almost like i blacked out. I keep trying to remember because from what i do remember some of the thoughts kinda bother me. I ended up calming down and snapping back into what i think is reality, and felt completely opposite of what i was thinking just 5 minutes prior. Im so confused, i dont know who i am, i feel like im actually going crazy.

I’ve been struggling a lot recently with intrusive thoughts that have really taken over my life. Lately, I’ve got so much thoughts that tells me people I care about, like my mom, won’t have a life after death because of me or my thoughts. It feels like my mind convinces me that these thoughts are true, and the fact that I can’t feel my usual anxiety makes it even scarier. I’m terrified that not feeling anxious means I actually want these things to happen, which I know deep down isn’t true. I’ve had constant anxiety for pretty long and now the last few days I haven’t been able to feel anything. I’m unable to feel any of the love or connection I normally do for my family and friends, and even my anxiety feels dulled. This is so unsettling because in the past, my anxiety acted as a reassurance that I didn’t want the horrible thoughts my OCD was throwing at me. Now, without that, I feel completely lost and afraid that I’ve lost myself. Has anyone else experienced this emotional numbness or a disconnect from your feelings? How do you cope when your OCD thoughts feel so real, but you can’t feel the anxiety that usually comes with them? I would really appreciate any advice or experiences you could share.

In addition to my pocd / false memory OCD situation, I feel like Im going to pass away with no friends, no girlfriend, and no family. I have no one who loves me. And Im going to pass away alone. I slowly have to accept that. Theres nothing I can do except live out my life, not knowing if my worst fears have come true or not, and slowly wither away while everyone moves on with their lives and forgets my name. Im unloved, alone, and miserable. Thats who I am. The end.

Do you ever have a situation in front of you and you genuinely don’t know the best way to get through it? Like a difficult situation but the question is do you grind it out or use self compassion and give yourself breaks? There are so many different philosophies to follow, even if they’re not formal philosophies. For example, I have watched a lot of David Goggins and Jocko Willink on YouTube. Both of them have very extreme philosophies of discipline and how to handle hardship. Both of their philosophies have helped me during times of hardships in my life. But other philosophies have also helped me at other times of hardships in my life, philosophies that have more to do with self kindness and self compassion. So sometimes it seems like there’s so many approaches to how to live life that it’s paralyzing. Were any of y’all able to overcome the seemingly endless amount of choices towards mindsets to approach life with? How were y’all able to overcome this?

I noticed myself not understanding why things are wrong like I be having thoughts like "why would cheating be bad" and I just actually find it hard to find a reason? The only things I know are bad are like being mean and doing crimes but like damn

It’s another sleepless night accompanied by my most painful obsession: what happens after we die? It’s not so much a mental debate, rather than a panic provoked by what I believe to be absolute. I’ve struggled with religion, and I still do. I was raised Christian, but didn’t find much belief in God after my father passed before my teenage years. I’ve considered myself agnostic with an open mind to religion, but for as long as I can remember, the most logical afterlife scenario to me is nothing. Just. Nothing. Pitch black, no consciousness, nothing, just as it was before you were born. And this TERRIFIES me. I don’t want life to end! Sure I’ve had my struggles in life, certainly had moments where I’ve wish I didn’t have to live, but the idea that one day I’ll never experience life again makes all the bs worth it. I’d rather live a life of constant tragedy and struggle than to simply cease existing. I’ve had this obsession since I was in elementary school, before I even knew what religion and death truly were. Before I ever experienced death in my family, I’d be crying and panicking to my mother in the middle of the night about how I’m terrified to die. It went away for a couple years, but the last couple months it’s been resurfacing out of nowhere. Whenever I have a calm and quiet moment, this thought pops in my head. Like a little devil whispering reminders with the sole intention of causing panic. I try so hard to think of something, anything different. But no matter what, the dread of death persists and it’s all I can think about until I’m hyperventilating repeating “no no no” to myself, desperately trying to calm down and fall asleep. I’m so tired of this torture. How do I stop this obsession? How do I come to terms with my inevitable fate? I’ve tried finding solace in religion but I can’t force myself to believe in something I don’t just to find comfort in death. I want there to be something more after death, but how do I believe it to be true? I want to believe in an afterlife, whether heaven or hell or reincarnation. I don’t care. I just want to live life without this fear of what comes next.

TW (SEXUAL TRAUMA AND FIGHTING AGAINST SU1CID4L THOUGHTS) My POCD hit me hard with a relapse and my brain will not shut up about if I need to delete myself. I don't want to, but my brain is telling me I should, that no pedo, offending or not should live. I don't want to do it to my friends and family. I just wish I could feel relief from all this guilt. It hurts so bad. I don't want to die, I didn't ask for this even if it wasn't OCD. I feel terrible and like if I try to be okay and not condemn myself for these thoughts that I'm throwing away my morality. I have kinks and fetishes that are related to my traumatic childhood, I don't want these fetishes and kinks, but I know I like them. OCD latched on and demanded to know if I would want to watch something worse, something illegal, if I am a pedo because of how my sexuality was twisted and broken at that age. I talked with a sexual trauma informed therapist and explained everything and she said that she didn't think I was a danger or that what I liked was wrong or dangerous. She said it was probably my brain trying to make sense of what happened and cope by giving me control back. Still my OCD is operating in black and white, pure or evil. The fact my kinks are too close to something amoral, illegal and bad that I basically am that horrible bad person. That the only thing holding me back is my OCD and without the condemnation and panic, I'd go feral and hurt someone, an animal or a child. I don't want to hurt ANYONE. God forbid like that. I hate how my sexuality has been damaged. I'm actually terrified of sex, I can't even put a tampon in without crying. I still feel so guilty finding the things I do attractive and am scared I'll find other things attractive that are actually bad. My OCD is demanding to know if I deserve to live. And I want to live, i don't want to die. But my OCD says I deserve it and that I'm evil. It won't shut up. I just want to be pure again even though that's not true and a social construct. I feel guilty and worried anyone who knew about what I like would think I deserved the worst punishment in history. I just needed to vent this out. For the record I am NOT going to delete myself. I won't. My OCD is trying to make me give it an answer as to why I deserve to live.

I feel like im loosing my mind. I feel like i experience derealization or what. I feel confused like very very confused. I cant even think normally. Im just tired. I feel like im loosing myself. Im scared that everyone tells me that i have OCD, but what if this is all true? I dont think and im scared that other so-ocd sufferers dont feel this way as i do. I feel literally, LITERALLY so convinced that this must be true. It feels like i already accepted that this is true. Im done. My brain is broken. I even started to have thoughts like what if i have schizophrenia or dissociative identity disorder. Help me please. Do i have psychosis or what?

Our quest for certainty in the universe demonstrates our intrinsic recognition of a source or entity that possesses Absolute Knowledge, often referred to as The All-Knowing or Allah (God in Arabic). When we cease our pursuit of identifying this source of certainty and instead embrace uncertainty, we are, in essence, submitting to this deity—known as God, Allah, Elohim, and by other names. This submission is an acknowledgment of the existence of a deity that holds the Absolute Truth with certainty. May we all find healing through our submission to The One Source of Truth, whom we call God or Allah

I started seeing every little thing as a sin. Or at least things that will bring bad karma. Everything, even little things like listening to music or enjoying a meal. In my eyes, everything everyone is doing is mostly sins and it terrifies me to death. It scares me to the point of paralysis and I can’t even do anything anymore because everything is a sin in my eyes. I’ll definitely spiral if I think about it more, but if I don’t, I feel like I’m lying to myself. I don’t even have confidence that this is OCD anymore. What if I’m right (I’m not necessarily wrong according to my religious doctrines, not that I’m a 100% sure) and nothings going to help me, not even therapy? And if most things humans do are sins anyway, what’s the point of anything? (See how it starts relating to an existential crisis) I’m terrified that no one’s gonna be able to help me anymore. I feel like I’m at wits ends. I don’t practice Christianity btw. Any insights or even “me too”s would help.

as I'm too triggered by my intentions behind wearing something. So a few days ago I talked to someone about women's attire, who is Muslim. so she told me everything and gave me an example where I'm still stuck and that is she said in her university there was a girl who was Muslim and she used to come to university fully covered but would wear eyeliner and a different kind of eye lenses and would walk in such a way that boys would be after her!! And I'm literally stuck here because it is possible to be like this even if someone is fully covered? And today morning I just saw a post after waking up immediately and that is a Muslim girl saying that it is weird and kinda dislikable to see girls wearing shiny glossy wet kinda lipsticks. And I totally understood this vibe she meant something hot or sexy kinda thing that girls do. but what am I doing? I feel like im doing the same thing. i want to look good and want people to see me but not something that I'm dying for it I'm not that kind of person, right? And am I even supposed to know? I dont know my own intentions and tbh I really want to be a smart bold strong and sorted personality to everyone. even in front of men. Am i considered as those girls then? And am I wanting just boys' attention? And I'm even scared to red lipstick. I've always loved red lipstick it suits me a lot. But now just now a scene came in my mind that is "I'm wearing red lipstick and I'm drinking something through a straw and a small portion of my red lipstick is in my straw now and I've come with a guy and I let that guy see that swatch of red lipstick on my straw. And you know what kind of feeling it is creating?? And was I always like this??? And why are these kinds of particular things and scenes coming rapidly?

I really don’t know what to do- I’ve been making it so much worse with compulsions, watching death anxiety videos or videos about why I shouldn’t be scared over and over, and getting on the same Reddit forums about death anxiety over and over all day. I’ve never felt this bad in my life and nothing feels real, I feel trapped in my own life and can’t see the way out of this theme, I’m feeling so depressed and I can’t care about anything. The rumination is awful and now I’m getting intrusive thoughts about my own corpse and everyone I know. It feels like my life has been reduced to a single line, like a timeline and I’m slowly moving across the timeline. I contacted the suicide hotline the other day but it didn’t really help, I don’t want to die and I don’t want to kill myself but life feels like it will never be the same and like I’m living in a nightmare.

So I had a panic attack last week and I started to feel derealization which I was I knew was going to pass, later in the week I had to go on a road trip which I was already feeling uneasy about and then all at once I had the worse anxiety attack, ever since then I feel like I’m going crazy. My doctor scared me by saying I need to go on medication (family doctor) because I’m scared of going crazy and that’s my biggest fear right now. My psychiatrist said I won’t but just get on medication to reduce my anxiety. Any help would be amazing I’m so scared of going into psychosis. The racing thoughts seemed to slowed down but I feel very weird and disconnected. Any help would be amazing!

Hey it’s me again, I feel very overwhelmed I’ve been dealing with my OCD for a few months now and it’s been a ride for sure. Lately I’ve been dealing with these thoughts that I’m crazy it’s actually inexplicable I don’t know how to describe what I feel anymore I feel like I’m Loosing sense of who I am like I don’t even know what’s going on like I’m just crazy literally I feel crazy I really just wanna be okay and just be able to enjoy life I feel like I’m never happy anymore. I feel so overwhelmed like I’m holding in my tears so badly I just wanna sit there and cry and I don’t know what to do anymore I really don’t I was doing just fine for weeks and then BOOM I feel like it comes back 10x fucking worst and I don’t like being alone because I feel like I’m gonna loose control and do something or like I’m just gonna snap I’m scared I’m Gonna snap in any moment n I feel like I’m just this crazy person and I feel like something is in my head telling me I’m crazy or I am but I don’t hear anything I just like visualize it like I imagine it in my head I was dealing with harm ocd this week and last week towards my husband and I hate it so much because I just wanna enjoy my relationship like a normal human being I miss being normal I always wanna go get checked to a doctor so they could check my brain and tell me I’m not crazy and I feel from my ocd or stress I’m Gonna get psychosis or schizophrenia from my head thinking so much stuff that I’m just gonna colapse I don’t know what to fuck I don’t like medication I’ve been dealing with so much stress this week from so many episodes I feel like when I’m around people I forget about things but something they try to cripple up on me but I don’t like being alone and I hate not liking that because I feel like then people have to monitor me to see I’m Not gonna do anything or to distract my head I wanna be able to feel alone and being okay I don’t even like listening to music anymore it makes me panic idk I need to hear someone talking or something because then I panic I get to in my head I just don’t know why I’m feeling this if this ocd or my anxiety or my depression getting bad again I feel like I don’t enjoy anything like I’m Bored of life fuck I wanna be fine I wanna be able to think right I feel my head is going 100000 mph please I need someone to comment on this.

So I was playing roblox at my big age im 24. I got into sort of an arugment with a player bc she was making comments about peoples outfits and saying they were basic. So i commented on their outfit and called it basic. She told me to get a life. Then the arguing got worse she got a friend in on it with her. They started calling me crusty bc my username is crispy. I really tried not to engage bc I know a lot of children play on roblox. I just don’t like bullying or people being mean. Then I got last place and the player was like everyone is a queen here except crusty. I wanted to stand up for myself and said yall are just bullies. Now im worried that everyone in the server thought I called them bullies and are going to kill themselves. I was only referring to the two girls. I let them get the best of me I shouldn’t have responded like that because it was funny the back and forth. I acted immaturely but I think my justice complex kicked in. Now Im scared they killed themselves and I will never know.

I have this fear of being a psychopath or sociopath. All my life i was able to feel normal emotions like joy, sadness, guilt etc up until now where i suddenly gained this new fear of being a psychopath because i felt emotionally detached from my partner lately and i now feel like i emotionally shut down and like im on autopilot mode. Its like i cant feel anything right now, and to test myself i think of situations in my head that are bad (like someone getting hit by a car) to see if i feel any empathy and it scares me that i sometimes dont. I keep doing this over and over and i cant feel anything, im so scared of being evil or something. It triggers me when i see negative things on social media because im scared i don’t feel anything or not care about it at all. I never thought id be saying this but i WANT to feel sad or upset just so i know im not crazy.

I’m scared so bad rn I feel like I might commit . There was a trans girl on TikTok and I thought she was attractive and I’m scared because she’s trans. Is that gay I don’t wanna be gay and now I’m freaking out. It was a guy transitioned into a girl and they don’t look like a guy at all.