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Does anybody else have an extreme fear of engine oil or any other car chemicals? I have been suffering with contamination OCD for the last 8 or 9 years and feel alone with this kind of OCD towards chemicals.

I work in social work and today I went into a home that was infested with fleas. I immediately freaked out. Once getting back to the office I was freaking out, my boss didn’t understand and wanted me to go back. I ended up not listening literally stripping in the parking lot throwing my clothes away and going to a truck stop to shower. Anyway, I’m still stuck on feeling the need to shower every time I go near my car since I was in it before I could shower the first time. Obviously I need to go to work and use my car and I know it doesn’t have fleas but any tips on how to feel better about this? I’ve been too anxious to go near it and every time I do I feel the need to flea bomb the car, throw my clothes out, and shower.

Hi all! I’m new here. I’ve been struggling severely with my OCD for over a year. I’m here because I desperately want to overcome it. Any tips/tricks or advice is appreciated. I struggle with the thought of something being dirty. Even when I know something isn’t. But unfortunately I have to wash my hands/ sanitize or my mind doesn’t let it go and I can’t focus. Things that trigger it: Pet paws. Can’t touch my pets paws or anything they touch without cleaning the objects/ washing my hands. Can’t touch anything that has touched the floor or the floor itself without washing Car door handles Anything in public that others could have touched If someone accidentally spits on me have to wash Etc.

Jayne's back lol. Took a break from here for a few days to be at my best friend's house. So I have a phobia of stinkbugs. I absolutely hate them and most of the time seeing one dead or alive makes my heart pound and my body tremble. Every time I walk into a room upstairs in my house, I look at the curtains before actually walking in just to make sure there isn't one around (because it is a common occurrence to be greeted with one when I come home). I'm afraid of finding them in the toilet (this has happened MORE THAN ONCE), being in the same room as one, hearing them fly, the smell, etc. They freak me out. This has been going on for at least 10-12 years I absolutely refuse to kill/capture them even when they're dead, and don't even THINK I'll sleep in the same room as one (what if it crawls in my ear?? or my mouth?? I know that's ridiculous but I've always been afraid of this). I make my sister/father/friend get them, and I'm often teased/patronized about this. Sometimes my sister flat out refuses to get one just because she wants to spite me. One time she knew there was a bug in my room and didn't tell me, and the next day she told me "you slept with a stinkbug in the room and you were perfectly fine." This of course made me very upset and I got very mad at her for breaching my trust. How could you knowingly do that to someone who is terrified of those things?! When she refuses to kill the bugs, it makes me very upset and worried because then I have to sleep somewhere else in the house (uncomfortable and stressful). Her anger at me for being like this makes me cry because I feel like a pathetic f^cking child, and my family doesn't believe I actually have a phobia. They just think i'm being stubborn and pathetic. I can't help it. I've been doing better with being in the same room when I find a stinkbug, but most of the time I still just flee. I'm so hyper-vigilant of when I see one/might see one that people are often like "how did you know there was one there?" It's because over the years I KNOW what they look like when ANYWHERE— including how they look when they blend in/are partially hidden. Even in my sleep if I hear one, I instinctively throw myself out of bed before i'm even fully awake. I'm ALWAYS sure when I hear one, and I am never wrong in identifying that sound. About a month ago one was on my arm and it freaked me out so bad I got dizzy. Ever since then, if I feel my arm or leg hair move, my mind immediately goes "stinkbug". If I see one at work I feel the need to keep checking to make sure it's not getting any closer. It's like I'm a radar. If i think i smell one (no one else but me seems to smell them when they're crushed?? how can you NOT??) I get paranoid. Anyway I feel so ashamed and pathetic and useless because yes I'll leave the country for the first time completely alone but don't expect me to kill a stinkbug I will cry✌️

my OCD has been SO MUCH better since october but today it has flared up again. I accidentally took a sip of my coworkers drink that I thought was mine because it was right next to me unintentionally just a little sip but enough to send me into a spiral of thinking that I’m going to contract some kind of illness or that their saliva was in the drink and I drink some of it and now it’s inside of me 😖 once I let them know, they joked and said “ well I don’t have cooties and I’m sure you don’t either “ but I can’t help to think that something bad is going to happen over just that little sip. and I kept spitting/rinsing my mouth out multiple times just to be safe but still don’t feel any better.

I went to a traumatic experience 8 years ago, however I never struggled with anything at the time, however last year i started to get intrusive thoughts about STDs, I got tested for hiv hsv2 and 1, went to get a cervix examination at a professional OBGYN everything is clean however I keep thinking I got something now I am obsessing over HPV and it's driving me crazy I don't sleep at night I don't get out of the bed in the day all I do is being afraid to contaminat my husband who I just married, I went to get my nails done and I got cut i freaked out over the STDs I previously tested ,and i want to get tested again, I keep thinking how in few years he will be sick and it's all my fault , and that i ruined his life and he will never forgive me I am taking medication for my anxiety and depression , does anyone have the same thing? Is it normal? Does anyone know how to deal with this?

I think I may have had the worst day of my life yesterday. It started when I struggled with sleeping, only getting three or so hours in before waking up at 6am. Around 8 I had a bad panic attack. I haven't had one that bad in a long time. I had to call my mom to come hang out with me until it passed. Then I finally got some more sleep, not enough still but a few more hours at least until my partner got home from work. They were tired so I had my mom take me to the grocery store so I could get something for dinner for us but we didn't make it there. We got in a car wreck. No one was seriously hurt thankfully. I was pretty shaken up, we both were. I had another panic attack from it in the parking lot of some random hair salon that we pulled into to get off the road. I already feel pretty invisible and like I don't matter so when the paramedic only asked me if I was ok and I said "I think so" it hurt my feelings a little that he left and never checked back on us. Someone else did add before leaving that we could go to the ER if we wanted but it just made me sad to feel so dismissed after getting into an accident. It didn't help that the police officer was a little combative too. We had to wait there for a good 45 minutes before we could finally go home. Of course, with my OCD, I had to shower right when we got home before doing anything because I was "dirty" for going outside. That was frustrating, I couldn't even sit down for a second first. And now it's the next day and I'm still so utterly exhausted and my poor partner, it was there car and they've had to be on the phone with insurance and stuff so they're pretty stressed about everything too and I feel like the absolute worst partner because I can't be there for them more or comfort them. With my OCD I can't even hug them unless I know we're showering afterwards. :( Plus it was partly my fault for the wreck since I was the one that asked to go to the store. If I didn't none of that would of happened. There was a lot of reasons it happened though so I don't fully blame myself and I'm not beating myself up too much but still. Worst day of my life I think and today isn't much better.

For the last 13 years I've been told I have a severe panic disorder, along with every other anxiety disorder in the book, and while I definitely do, No meds have ever helped & after seeing many therapists/psychiatrists, etc, I'm finally seeing one that, withing minutes, asked me if anyone has every tried to treat my OCD first, instead of the panic & anxiety...... Up until that point, I was unaware I had OCD. After more sessions with the Dr, & my own at home research, I could cry. Every weird "quirk" I have, they way I think, what I was always told was hypochondria......it's all OCD. I'm baffled. Anyway, my doctor wants me to try a medication called Luvox (Fluvoxamine). From what I'm reading, it's a pretty common med for OCD. I'm also, however, reading that it can interact with just about everything. I'm not a huge fan of taking daily medications. But, if it could potentially make me feel better, I'll absolutely give it a shot. So my question is, if you've taken this, has it helped? Is there anything I should be aware of? Good things? Bad things? I've googled, but I'd rather hear feedback from actual people who've taken it. Sorry I'm ranting and this is so long, this is a new journey for me, and I'm a little nervous!

I feel so weird and dumb right now, but my brother just moved back into town and needed a place for his things. His “things” meaning a dresser and bed. Well turned out to be a lot more than two things. My anxiety started racing, I could feel my body tense up, I couldn’t catch my breath. Now everything he has brought from “outside” (from his old apartment/ from touching the inside of the dirty y-haul) to inside my clean room. Now I’m freaking out that everything is contaminated. They put it in the bedroom I don’t use, except to store my extra “things”. Now his things are touching my things that I have left in that room as storage. I don’t know how to get out of my head that his “things” are contaminating mine??? Now it makes me not want to use that room.

hi everyone, im new to this therapy & it has been really daunting leading up to getting help. I’ve been struggling immensely with emetophobia for my whole life, but it has taken a huge toll on my life within the last year and a half. my emetophobia has progressively transitioned into agoraphobia and I can’t ever leave my room. just this last day was my last straw, when my roommate came home with the norovirus. he’s not very considerate when it comes to staying clean and quarantining so my head has been spiraling wondering when or if I’ll get it too. i haven’t slept in 3 days & haven’t eaten & I feel that im inducing more harm to myself. I just want to feel better, not worry so intensely. I want to live a normal life without restricting my meals or restricting public places & constantly asking my boyfriend for unfortunate reassurance that I’ll be okay. I really hate to be that girlfriend. if anyone sees this, I really hope that I do get better & that if anyone struggling with the same obstacle as me can get through it. it’s draining, it’s daunting, & so much for one to handle.

Is anyone else scared that when they pee the particles get on you, you can only wear clothes once bc u fear u got poop or pee on them and ur scared u drip and leak. I’m a college student and living in a dorm w ocd is extremely mentally draining especially having to hide it from my Roomate. She knows I have ocd but not the extent. I had PANDAS as a kid and never lost the ocd. I get scared I pee myself when I wake up sweating or wake up having to pee. I hold it in for as long as I can and usually I only wear clothes until I have to use the bathroom bc once I go I’m scared I got urine on them. And TMI but discharge is a whole other story. This may sound crazy but I keep dove soap open by me and wherever I think there’s something I dab some on the spot and that makes me feel better. I’m starting to see a therapist at school so hopefully she can help with this but it’s really stressful. Having this type of OCD in a dorm is rlly hard😅

I just am so sick of constantly battling my mind it’s so fucking annoying like what’s even the point of spending anymore time on earth if non existence is preferable to existence. I’ve been diagnosed with OCD but more obsessions than compulsions it’s really more of a mental fight than anything psychical although I do have a bit of that contamination OCD. I’ve tried the SSRIs and I would 100% reccomend them to anyone who has OCD but it feels like there are too many triggers that force me back into that intrusive thought loop which is just hellish. Its really hard to imagine any sort of torture that could be worse than those thought loops genuinely hard to conceive of any torture even physically that could be worse than that. I have actually been doing much better recently but I really just can’t conceive of going back into another one of those fucking miserable intrusive thought loops again like I see the symptoms coming back and the feeling that I get before the intrusive thoughts start really really piling in has come back again. Idk just thought I should share my experience like anyone else who has this mental condition I feel really sorry for. Here’s something that I read I feel like was really important that I wanted to share with anyone else who has OCD “You are a sensitive person, so altruistic that you get worried by even having bad thoughts. Learn to be a bit more selfish, and fight for your own happiness. You truly deserve it!”

Hi I'm new to this app and just wanted to communicate with someone struggling with simular things. My ocd has me feeling so stuck right now, like I just don't know what to do. It's caused me to stay home from school and quit my job due to panic attacks. I should probably specify I have contamination ocd and some other one idk what to call. Closest thing would probably be perfection ocd. A couple days ago I had a really bad panic attack once I got home from work where I cried and sat on the stairs for about 2 hours. I only got up when my mom forced me to, because everytime I tried I just felt like I couldn't move. It was mainly triggered by my job as I find it "dirty" and cant handle it anymore- I quit mt job that night. Then is also when I finally told my mom how I've been feeling because of it and now she's constantly worrying that I haven't hurt myself as I finally told her "I just want it to stop." I don't think I actually would but I can't help but to think what would happen and how I could go about it. I have a therapist I see monthly, but I find it really hard to tell her how bad it's effecting me because it's hard to talk about and Idk what kind of power she has but I don't want her to send me to the ward. Idk if that's even a thing anymore but I'm scared of it. I constantly feel like I have to clean everything and I just dont have the energy to do it. All I want to do is lay in bed. But these "dirty" things full my mind untill they're "clean" again. Not to mention the things I literally can't clean because of their material 🥲 I apologize for the awful organization, these are just my thoughts right now.

I just took my 4th shower, maybe my 100h hand wash, I've done laundry twice, I had to clean my glasses a few times. I've basically spent all day on edge and getting tiggered, trying my best to ignore it just to get triggered by something else and spiraling. I haven't stopped moving for 12 hours and I'm not even done yet, my blanket is still in the dryer and I probably need to eat. I needed to clean my four "safe" cups but only managed doing one after not having anything to drink for three or four hours. All I want to do is lay in bed and cry and play animal crossing but my 2DS is dead and my charger is "dirty" and I just don't have it in me to clean anything else if I can help it. :(

I was wondering if anyone else has dealt with OCD that revolves around food? For instance I’ve had an eating disorder from OCD for about 2 years now. I’m scared to eat food I’ve always eaten due to the fear of an allergic reaction. I also have a fear of my food being poisoned or laced with drugs. It makes it very hard for me to eat at times because I’ll have the symptoms of anxiety where my throat feels tight as if I can’t swallow or I’ll feel really panicked after I eat a fear food. Logically I know I’m not allergic to many of the foods I’ve ditched. It’s like my OCD clings to the fact others have allergies to things like peanuts & other foods. I used to be able to eat foods just fine and I love food! I just have so much fear of not having control once I’ve consumed something and that what if thought pops in. I believe all this stemmed from me trying an edible and it being one of the worst experiences ever. Felt like I was spiraling and not in control of anything. I even deal with extreme derealization/depersonalization and it feels so similar to the bad high. & I just get scared someone will lace my food just for the fun of it. So now when I eat I get scared even though logically I know my food is just food and I need it!! I’m doing much better than before, I eat even when I feel anxious too. I had stopped eating and drinking water due to my ocd tricking me (didn’t know I had ocd at the time, I thought my negative impulse fear based thoughts were intuition but they weren’t) and ended up in the hospital. I still have many fear foods that are actually very healthy that I need to start eating again. I am suffering from low iron due to not eating correctly from this fear. I’m on a iron supplement though and I’m eating better than I was. I’m just wondering if anyone else has or is dealing with similar?

My beloved cat of 6 years is extremely sick, i adopted him when i was in the army and hes always helped me get through my PTSD. After about 1K in vet bills the vet said he likely will not survive this week, and i should consider euthanasia as its most likely advanced pneumonia or heart disease. Hes a indoor only cat and when i was trying to feed him his tooth scratched me and i got a tiny cut. Now my OCD is trying to convince me i somehow got rabies on top of it already going crazy and mourning my cat even though hes still fighting and not yet gone. I feel awful that now im scared to continue caring for him because now im scared of being near him

Everyday I get triggered and have a mini mental breakdown. Today me and my partner took a shower, immediately after getting out I accidentally touched the clothes I took off and since they're "dirty" I started spiraling. I tried to ignore the panic setting in and calm down by just laying down but I "contaminated" my bed and blanket by doing it. I ended up crying and napping as my partner rubbed my back. They're so sweet, I don't deserve them at all. Especially since I can barely even kiss or hug them anymore. I'm getting worse and worse.

I am going a weekend away for trainings for my sports with the team that I coach. We might barbeque and I am really nervous for that, as I have been avoiding meat. I am not sure the guys will wash their hands properly, really nervous that I will feel contaminated or accidentally get bacteria on me or contaminated contact lenses :(

I miss getting midnight snacks but now I refuse to do it because of the germs in the kitchen and don’t want to bring it into my room after I’ve showered. Or I miss being able to go outside and come back home and not worry about germs in my home or my room. I miss being able to hangout in my room calmly. Now, whenever I leave my room I can’t come back inside until I’ve showered because I don’t want it to become contaminated. This is mostly just me missing hanging out in my room like before. I remember having friends over a lot and never worrying about where they’ve been cus I didn’t care. I miss how pretty my room used to be. Now it’s empty because I’m scared to add posters due to germs being on my posters and spreading all over my walls. I miss having fairy lights all over my room.

I have extreme fear of rabies and it triggered my usually bearable ocd to the point i cant function normally. Whenever I pass by something on the ground resembling a bat my brain tells me its a bat and that I have touched it with my hand and that I have rabies now. Sometimes I take a photo of potential triggers to be sure I wont ruminate later aka ask myself what if it was this or that and i just look at the photo i took and be sure its nothing. The triggers are also becoming harder to bear everytime, for example 3 days ago it was night and I saw something small and dark on the ground and didnt see it clearly, phone was almost dead and i couldnt take a photo of it, probably wouldnt anyway because there were two people nearby so i just left myself a note in the phone that it was nothing and I didnt touch it, but you guessed it, my brain says its a bat and that i touched it, creating a false memory and now i feel like i cant know what actually happened..rn i cant think of anything but being terrified of dying of rabies because i cant trust my memory. I feel like Im going crazy