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I have been blocked again by people who I considered to be very helpful in my OCD journey on here... this is why i don't like talking about my real events ocd... its because people will shame me and block me... and think I'm a PDF...

i've been messagging with a friend i havent seen for a long time and we're planning to see each other in a few days. he sent me on whatsapp as a joke a sticker of 2 naked guys running around with their p*n*s erected to like sword fight. I looked at it to make sure to confirm they were adults, but I couldn't really tell, they had an unclear face. They looked old enough to look like they were 25 or maybe less, perhaps minors, which is my biggest concern. he obviously didn't mean anything ill by it, he's a good person, should i sit with this uncertainty and hang out normally with him? I don't feel as hyped to see him right now.

can you have ocd about how you look? i’ve never been diagnosed with body dysmorphia so i don’t wanna say that’s what it is but everything i read about it i heavily relate to. i dunno if the two overlap but i’ve always been overly obsessed and critical with my appearance. constantly checking in the mirror (or completely avoiding mirrors) and rethinking even the smallest of things like how i do my hair, something i’m wearing, my body, etc. looking at old pictures of myself or comparing myself or others online when i feel bad. i have thoughts about how ugly i must be and if anyone says otherwise i’m convinced they’re joking or lying. like i sometimes genuinely feel so ugly that i shouldn’t be seen and that it would be an embarrassment for anyone to talk to me or be seen with me. it’s especially bad when i think of being in a relationship, like i should just stay away from other people, even just trying to talk to people. i’ve never talked to a therapist about this because it feels embarrassing but i genuinely don’t know if this is ocd related or something completely separate.

Adults only Just tearing up. Remembering the traumatic moments. I'm really just trying to give myself patience, understanding, and kindness. I at least can admit I don't want to watch adult content. It's just a coping mechanism I picked up at a very young age and I'm just trying to undo it. I'm also trying to undo the shame. Some days are way too hard and some days aren't. Still feeling pretty lost right now.

Adults only Just want to cry because of how much porn messed up my life and made it so much worse. Can't stop thinking about the flat out borderline illegal things I've seen as a teenager. All the things that scarred me. How I've sexted random people online How it's still here in my life destroying my confidence day after day. How I watch extreme things that I would normally be against I just want to cry it all out but can't

I’m curious on what random/fun/nice things you all do to help yourself during a hard time. Take a bath? Sing and dance? Therapy techniques? Exercise? Meditation? I’d love to hear some new things I could try for myself, and also it’s nice to just get the community sharing happy helpful things!

My bf and I are long distance. I haven’t seen him since early April and we were both looking forward to my prom next March because we could see each other. Turns out the day of my prom is while my bf is on a school trip that he can’t be refunded for and he signed a waiver saying he can’t back out. He isn’t able to visit before or after and I’m crushed. I’ve been sobbing the entire day and he’s bummed but he isn’t that affected by it (he’s js not an emotional person). I get to visit him for his prom the month after but those are the only two times out of the entire year we get to see each other. I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it let alone talk to him. I’m not mad at him I’m just so upset and don’t want to put it on him. I’m so angry at myself for not being able to let it go and I hate that there is nothing that can be done. I’m obsessing about it so bad and I have a really bad headache from crying. I just don’t know how to get over it and I don’t want to obsess about this for months or let it impact me but I know it will. I don’t know what to do or how I’m just supposed to get over it. I hate how dramatic I’m being

I know it may not be related to OCD but I’m having a hard time this holiday season. I keep having false hope due to the nature of Christmas itself… I am missing someone who was toxic in my life and I can’t seem to find anyone better to replace them. I keep crying and feeling lonely all the time, and I try to heal but it’s so hard, still tempting to look at their socials to see if they still miss me.

I thought this was funny in a sad sort of way. I used to have obsessions about checking to be sure I was "really" trans and that I wasn't making it up. The years when I was debating top surgery were the worst. I think the whole thing started when I came out and my mom told me I was just mentally ill (lol both can be true), and then later my ex became a TERF which really messed with my head, and I was psychologically self-harming by reading TERF blogs. It took a lot of therapy, including somatic work, to detangle what I actually wanted to do medically and a lot of time to realize my ex was extremely unwell and that I shouldn't take her word as truth. I've since accepted that my gender doesn't fit nicely in a box, and that while I've grown more confident in my trans identity based on how medical interventions have improved my relationship with my body, it's not as tidy for me as narratives you see in the media. I still have occasional doubts, but they no longer ruin my day. I could probably do more with the doubts now that I'm about to start ERP, but they're honestly no longer my top priority which is a nice feeling

Well guys, I guess I’m going to be getting off this app. My last post got no responses, so I guess I just need to move on, and live this dreadful life.

Short version: has anyone here overcome OCD associated with having enough saved for retirement? I’m a frugal, well paid, healthy male with a long term partner (she’s 34, 7 years together) who I get along well with. We are a great match for the most part. Always have been, we feel loved and are supportive of each other. However, my partner is still in debt to the IRS (2 years worth of taxes) and more CC debt, and we aren’t married because I refuse to take on her debt. I pay for almost everything in our relationship, except her rent (she owes me about 11K when she was jobless last year and pays late almost every month ). This is the first year we’ve both had jobs with benefits — previously, we were both getting laid off or working short contracts the past 6 years, over and over, even after moving to a city where we have more opportunities). I’ve been diagnosed with OCD due to my rumination and the urgency I attach to problems and dissatisfaction consistently. Despite our great love life, I spend every moment of the day obsessing over how she is the reason my retirement savings aren’t as much as they should be. I have about 2/3 saved of what I’ll need, which I’m incredibly grateful for, but she has nothing. I’m frustrated that I’m with someone who isn’t making the same financial sacrifices I made in the past and still make today (in order to save up money even though I pay for almost everything in our relationship ). ERP is helping a bit, but me and my therapist both acknowledge that sometimes it feels like I’m gaslighting myself because this is a real issue— me and my partner will CERTAINLY need more money in retirement than we (I) have now. It’s frustrating because I also do most the chores, cook the meals, I have better hygiene habits, I set more goals, and I’ve left behind many of my past hobbies and activities just so I can keep us afloat, and I’m just more thorough overall. On top of this, I’m finally getting over the OCD I had for years about not owning a home yet. My first big relationship in my 20s swindled me out of about $20K+ and my second big relationship in my 30s was someone I treated like a goddess (and I got nothing in return), so this feels like the 3rd time I’ve spent loads of money on someone who isn’t giving their best every day… I feel like I could have honored my own values instead and been better off (albeit lonely/single). I’ve accepted I likely can’t buy a house ever (because even with enough saved for down payment, it would be even more money to spend monthly since I pay for almost everything as outlined above). The two times I could have, I ended up having to buy a gently used car to replace an old car. I consistently feel like even though this partner is a better match than any other prior, in almost every way, even though we still don’t align on finances and how to spend our time (I spend time accomplishing things and she watches TV while scrolling her phone). No matter how many sweet things she does or says, in my mind it doesn’t matter because she isn’t pulling her weight with the basics (money, chores, cleanliness, etc). I am struggling to know if I should leave or stay. It’s been crystal clear from the start how much we love each other, and I don’t want to throw that away but, even our relationship therapist hasn’t offered any solid input (they think we are “great!”… and it seems that way until finances are discussed). My NOCD therapist is great, and also has a family/relationship therapy background, so I’m hoping we can start to address this beyond ERP practice. I wish I could just say “get your debt paid off quicker by cutting back on certain expenses and pay me rent on time. And if not, at least take better care of the house and yourself”…. But I can’t say that. I am an earnest, loving person, and I’m at a loss how to have this conversation because all ERP is doing is showing me how to squelch the noise and the thoughts…. But the financial problems remain. Any input or help is appreciated. PS, I work in finance, so please spare me money tips.

I saw on Twitter someone was calling a character beautiful and people were pointing out they're 16 (At which point they said they didn't know who the character was and apologised) and unfortunately a lot of people defending it because "They're fictional" the art itself was completely innocuous, it was the game awards nominees or something but like the characters on the red carpet and it was posted by an official game studio and before I was reporting people defending the original poster by saying awful things (They weren't one of them, they genuinely didn't realise and was apologetic), I zoomed in on the image to see if I could recognise the character but I couldn't and my OCD convinced me it was for more sinister reasons and I had a groinal, even now my OCD is giving me intrusive thoughts and images sexualising the character and I really hate them

I know I’m going to sound ridiculous but I need to vent about it now anyways Recently I’ve had massive anxiety over my steam account and the games I’ve played on them, I know the steam recap is coming up and the game that’ll show on mine (nothing NSFW or weird) is giving me massive anxiety. It’s the fact that I don’t necessarily love a majority of the games that’ll be on there but liked enough to put some time into. There’s also a game on there that I made the mistake of removing the achievements for which also adds an inconsistency. Knowing that there’s stats like this being track on places like steam add constant pressure for me to finish games I’ve started or play more other games which burns me out. Like I’d rather have a profile that’s actually *me* and not something OCD driven if that makes any sense. This year I’ve spent about £600 on games so making a new steam account would crush me massively too. I just don’t know what to, I had issues like this a few years ago with my PlayStation profile and I thought when I move to PC these things would be better but of course they weren’t. Obviously there’s other, bigger issues in my life but as of late this has gotten to me quite significantly, gaming is something that used to help me take my mind off of these other issues but it’s slowly becoming a part of the problem. I don’t expect any advice but I’d appreciate it anyways. Just massively lost.

To everyone struggling right now with their OCD, you've got this. And you're gonna get through it. The grass really is greener on the other side. Its hard to see it when your thoughts are constantly making you feel guilty and feel a shame that most people won't understand, but understand that we're all going through it and we are warriors. Remember, be gentle with yourself and know that this does not define who you are eventhough your thoughts are some of the most horrifying ones. Stay safe and reach out whenever you need a ear to listen to you.

Hey guys!!! My boyfriend and I have been going through a rough time these past couple of months. He truly is wonderful and means the world to me. We both recently graduated, and while I’m at a community college and he’s at a university about three hours away, the change has still been really hard. We went from seeing each other almost every day to suddenly not, and even though we aren’t technically long-distance, it feels very different…especially with everything else going on. On top of that, my parents are still in the process of getting a divorce, and I’m dealing with a lot of personal things of my own. This is also the first time both of us have been struggling at the same time. He doesn’t really have friends where he is right now and has been feeling really lonely. When he would come home, he leaned on me a lot for support, and I wanted to be there for him. But because he had so much on his plate, I felt like I couldn’t fully express how I was feeling without adding more to his stress. Over time, that led me to feel emotionally disconnected. We haven’t been intimate in a while, and we also haven’t had many deep, heartfelt conversations.. especially from my side. I was holding things in because I didn’t want to overwhelm him, but doing that started to affect me more than I realized. We’ve talked about fixing things, and he really is trying. I see the effort. But for some reason, my brain can’t tell what feels real and what doesn’t anymore. It’s hard for me not to assume things were forgotten or overlooked, because that was one of our first issues. Even now, despite the effort he’s putting in, I can’t seem to shake that feeling. I know a lot of this probably stems from my parents’ divorce. When they told me, it made me question everything about my childhood. I always thought I had a perfect family, and now it feels like the foundation I trusted cracked… so I’m second-guessing everything else too, including my relationship. I love him, and I want this to work. I’m just trying to navigate a lot of change, grief, and confusion all at once, and it’s been harder than I expected. Any thoughts? 😕💕

I am spiraling A few months ago my boyfriend said he didn’t know if he loved me anymore. That just rocked me to my core. Ever since then I have been spiraling out of control. He was my main support system, my emergency contact. We have been through so much together. I was blindsided by that. I felt like I was being abandoned. A few weeks prior he said I was the love of his life. I just couldn’t believe he had doubts. My brain is just punishing myself for making him hate me. I was toxic and horrible. It was a bad situation and I had no coping skills and took my anger out on him. It was bad. I have so much guilt. He isn’t affectionate towards me anymore, there is no compassion. It is just cold and mean. I hate myself for hurting him this much and making him give up on me.

I don't care for a real life relationship. I don't. I'm scared of rejection I'm never going to be pretty enough for my type. I cannot be blonde. I can not be a latina. I can not look pretty at the same time and be curvy. I just prefer imaginary bfs and husbands. They're better >>> idc if that makes me weird or schizophrenic at 19 years old. Most girls my age are dating and older ones are getting married already. I really genuinely don't care about real life relationships. Who the hell wants to risk it and risk a break up, fight or divorce... or cheater or betrayer... I think people are crazy if they would prefer that... Tbh. I'm just gonna stick with my favorite characters and imaginary bf/husband and imaginary friends as well. I really don't give a fuck anymore what other people think. I mean in japan it's legal to marry your favourite character. I think. I really don't care and I think my situation and feelings are why people do that... and all this... In the first place it's because of real people... Society is way too picky...

Does anyone have tips or advice for people with moral ocd. I know spoify is being boycotted and I use the app for convince with music streaming app and don't support them morally. Does anyone have any tips for getting over rumination when I use the app. I also have been having no one respond to my posts which is honestly distressing and frustrating

Pocd is crippling me. I’m so scared that I can’t come back from this relapse 💔

Can I tt smb please and please have a conversation with I need help badly...