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Is anyone worried abt the rapture or is that just me if it happens or not

fyi: [x] - feared identity So I've had OCD for a while now and even though I'm on a different theme than I was, I find that I sometimes feel indifferent or numb to an act that is completely immoral, especially after desensitizaton and learning that there is nothing that I need to do about the thoughts. I even ask myself "What if one of my friends turned out to be [x]?" and instead of immediately saying "I'm completely cutting ties and never looking at them the same way again" I'm like "..that wouldn't be great, I'd stop talking to them but also encourage them to get help.". Pure OCD for some odd reason made me feel empathy for even the worst, most evil people - not that it excuses their actions, or makes them any less evil, but then it also took that and made me panic about it: "What if you're becoming antisocial?" "What if you're on your way to degeneration?" "Why do you not care as much as you used to?" "Are you corrupt?" "Are you [x]?" "Only [x] would feel empathy for [x]." "Are you justifying these actions?". I feel like it is concerning, it does feel like I'm ignoring something that goes against my values, or that I have lost all values and I'm just a bad person. Especially when I get arousal nonconcordance or GRs: "Maybe I'm just traumatized, maybe I'm okay" turns into "You're okay.. with what? With becoming aroused by these things at all? Have you lost your mind? What's next, you're gonna act on these thoughts and say "Oh I'm traumatized?"", and I don't know whether it's logical or not. When I started with sexual intrusive thoughts I immediately found them disturbing and horrifying, and now after ERP and just living with the disorder for so long I'm almost numb... it feels terrible. It feels like I'm justifying or have become legitimately okay with untolerable, horrible behavior, and I feel like that says something about who I am really. I feel like that makes me dangerously close to acting on the thoughts, or that the thoughts were an indication of some repressed desire all along, even when I know there's no evidence towards that... or is there? Pure OCD has convinced me I'm in denial about something horrible many times before, mainly by utilizing my reaction and moral stance around the intrusive thoughts. I still feel like "If I panic when I have these thoughts, that means I'm not [x] and I'm fine."; "If I'm disgusted by the idea of acting on these thoughts, then I'm fine"; "As long as I don't respond the wrong way to the thoughts, I'm fine".. so what happens when you're told not to react to the thoughts at all? Or on the other hand, not to try and analyze a reaction? Panic. Cognitive dissonance: "Something's wrong, I'm not reacting how I'm supposed to". At the end of the day, I really hope I'm not [x], I really do. I can't imagine not only living with the title of [x], but also with the insane levels of distress that title would cause because for all I know, I'm not really [x]. But I could be, like I don't know if I'm not, and even though I'd rather not be [x] I have to somehow accept uncertainty I guess. That's what I've been told to do - but I feel like it's backfiring. I feel like I'm either a) recovering and meta-obsessing, b) I'm still in poor insight OCD and I'm not actually [x] c) I'm [x] and in denial / having OCD about a real issue Speaking of insight, it tends to come and go but it's been poor for most of the time, even after I learned about OCD.

So I’m getting laid off soon because of budget cuts from the Trump admin. I am going to go back onto the job hunt but it’s stressful for me because I was let go from a job earlier this year due to not being able to handle the schedule and commute. They said they would rehire me if I moved closer to the job and that they appreciated my work, but it still sucks. I’ve been ruminating on what I’m supposed to put on applications when they ask if I’ve been terminated from a job and why. A lot of people apparently just lie but it makes me so anxious.

Was getting food with someone, I got excited to eat it, but as I was talking, spit flew out my mouth and it looked like it got into the food. I really wanted to say something but the awkwardness and anxiety took over and I couldn't pick what to do and they had eaten the food This isn't someone that's happened for the first time, I've had this happen when someone passed by my in a tight space and my mind told me if I didn't move my arm in it would be a huge mistake I'd regret so I did the opposite and I thought what could go so badly, and it turned out to be really bad because the person's rear touched my elbow. I feel awful about this but at the same time I'm getting thoughts that say it isn't so bad. Thoughts trying to rationalize, but I hate when this happens to me.

hii! this is my first post so im not really sure what to do but lately i’ve really been struggling with trich & derm obsessions. [trigger warning for the rest of the post— mentions of tweezing, bfrb specifics, etc…] it’s gotten to the point where i’m practically addicted, especially when i’m in an active picking/pulling episode. my problem areas are my face for derm and my legs for trich. the urge and “need” to pick at my face comes and goes with stress levels and i have people in my life who gently try to point out when it seems like i may be doing particularly badly with my bfrbs but even that doesn’t really do anything for me. i’m becoming more and more insecure about myself due to how my body parts look as a result of picking. my boyfriend tries to help the most and i think he’s approaching it the right way; he doesn’t shame me at all and reassures me that he doesn’t think i’m ugly or gross or anything for my bfrbs and all of the marks i’ve got now. right now we’re trying a method of him keeping my tweezers at his house because my tweezers really let me dig in and having access to them seems to just put me deeper into a picking episode. my boyfriend even opened up about his personal experience with picking and what’s helped him stop and i was really encouraged by that for a while but that positive feeling has sort of worn off since then… i feel like i’ve tried a lot of things but i don’t think i actually have. i’ve been trying to be more intent about noticing my hands and keeping them in a “safe” and neutral (folded or clasped together in my lap) position and i’ve started to correct myself into that position if i start picking subconsciously. i can’t really seem to notice any specific triggers that make me start picking other than simply noticing my leg hair growth. i don’t want to cover my hands because it’s a huge sensory issue for me and right now it’s still a bit too warm to wear pants. i really wanna stop but i feel like i can only find the same few suggestions (tape over my fingers, gloves or leggings, harm reduction) and i was hoping maybe someone here would have some advice for me? it will probably get easier as i wear long pants when the weather cools down but that doesn’t change how distressing it is to me right now. i mean i’ve wasted HOURS just picking and plucking my life away. i’m honestly exhausted :( can anyone help?

I have had extremely bad health anxiety for almost 7 months now. It started after I had a POTS flare up, started having panic attacks, stress migraines because my uncle passed away, then came the DPDR, dizziness, just a feeling of something NOT right in my body. I have had holter monitors, ECGs, an echo (all fine apart from POTS), multiple blood tests that are clear apart from one vitamin deficiency that I’ve taken care of, stool samples all good etc. but I just can’t shake the fact that I have a brain tumour so I’ve paid out of pocket for a full body MRI which is a week from today and I am absolutely terrified that they will find a tumour or MS or something else. I have headaches, dizziness sometimes, a really weird feeling in my head (not painful but like my head is kinda floating and not on my body? I can’t describe it), I also wake up every morning with a pounding heart and a nervous tummy. I had my worst panic attack the other day which led me to booking this scan because I’m just so convinced there is something horribly wrong with me. I’m so so scared all the time. I am in the waiting list for health anxiety based CBT but that will be in another few weeks. I just can’t keep feeling like this anymore. I’ve gone from being scared I have throat cancer, to stomach cancer, to heart attack, stroke, and now brain tumour or MS. I know if the scan is clear it will help the anxiety but I also know it won’t completely get rid of it that’s why I’m on the list for CBT. But I just can’t shake the fact that they’re gonna find something really wrong with me. I literally feel like I’m in a countdown to finding out that I’m dying and I was right all along and I’ve left it too late. I’m absolutely terrified. The scan is a week from today and I get results within three days so I won’t be waiting long but it feels endless :( I had a panic attack before bed last night and woke up three times during the night panicking because of all of this. Idrk what this post was I just really needed to vent ahhhhh

First post - hello all! Tysm for reading, I hope to be part of this forum for a while - I wfh so my social interaction is quite limited lately. I have been working diligently on my mental health for 9 years. Diagnosed with severe complex PTSD that stems from both 2y of childhood SA and general fear for safety based on a sibling (8y older than me) who likely has psychopathy. It has been a long journey, and I have had the same therapist since I graduated in 2019. In the last 6y things have improved greatly - I have better shifted a work/life balance, gained a career, formed a strong marriage (2018 on), and now have a son. I credit a great deal of that to emotional regulation - one of the cornerstones of DBT therapy, the main focus of the last 3y with this therapist. Unfortunately, I feel like I’m getting into addiction and OCD and my therapist alone isn’t really getting me where I’d like to go. With things slowly getting in order I’ve tried to work on compassion of self more. I’ve learned that weight lifting is my favorite thing and is a healthy outlet for me. I’ve also learned that my unhealthy habits are damaging my self esteem greatly, and I feel that for me to feel my best self, I need to drop them. Diet is one, but a normal constant back and forth. Pornography is not though, and has been labeled in my mind as an addiction. I’ve had a strong relationship with pornography as my #1 outlet and coping mechanism since I was 11. My usage was extremely high, even before teenage years. I’m 27 now and have been much more serious about curbing this addiction the last year. Since August of last year, I’ve worked with my spouse and managed to cut my usage to probably 15-20% of what it was before. I’m proud of that, but want to keep whittling that value down further! Recently, I’ve started thinking that this is less Addiction at this point and more OCD. I have a strong defined genetic history of OCD and have seen themes of it pop up periodically in my life. I had a drug problem in college and dried out over 3mos… my feelings rn don’t feel similar to that experience at all. Rather than desiring pornography and giving in, most of my motivation to engage with this content is thoughts that push me to. I’ll start my day and either give in to the thoughts so as to enjoy my day without the noise, or I’ll deal with fighting back the constant nagging growing louder and louder that I must engage with that content to relax/be free/etc. I think it’s very self destructive. I feel like my brain almost shuts off and gives me brain fog, insisting that if I want to be productive, happy, etc - I MUST give in to the compulsion and engage in this behavior. Often, I’m not even aroused whenever I choose to concede. I know very very little about OCD and though I have friendships, I’d like to have some form of relationship with people who truly relate or can help me through something like this. I’d be more than happy to do the same. Thank you to any who read, and to the folks who make this forum happen.

That dude who is suspected for hurting that little girl who went missing (idk I think he’s a singer) has been stuck in my head for days. It’s all over my social media and i do watch those videos to get an understanding of what’s been going on/what’s gonna happen but it’s created so many intrusive thoughts for me. What he did is so wrong but it’s making my pocd act up and my brain is asking me like “oh what if ur secretly okay with what he did” “what if you feel bad for him?” “Would do you what he did to someone else” like wtf? it has plagued my mind and im actually annoyed The dudes face will literally pop up in my head during private time and jm honestly confused as to why this is happening.

I’m losing it, I feel like I have no idea who I am and weather I have been faking it my whole life. I saw an episode that triggered me and this guy said he realized he was gay when he was 18 and I just got sooooo anxious. Because then I asked myself did I like anyone at that age (I’m 22) I have never had a boyfriend. I feel like I’m sitting here and just lost faith in the fact that I like men. I feel like I have been lying to myself. I don’t know what to do or if I will ever get the life I have dreamt of. Help me, what do I do???!?!?!?!!! What if I’m not capable of loving a man????!!!!

Disclaimer!! TW: Hi guys, When I was 10 my uncle (my dad’s brother), inappropriately played with my sister and I. where we felt his genital on our behind but we were all clothed and he disguised it as a game. I would catch him also acting weird around me. Later on when I was 12 and my sister was 10 1/2, he went on top of my sister while he thought she was sleeping and she had her eyes half open while she pretended to be asleep. She kept moving around and he thankfully didn’t do anything to her but that alone was horrifying to her. then he went to my bed and I’m a light sleeper so I immediately woke up. I asked him what he was doing and he said “just fixing the nightlight”. The next morning my sister told my parents and I what happened. My dad cried. I never saw him cry in my life. We left immediately and never spoke to him again. He has 3 kids and an amazing wife. Recently he’s been really sick and he had multiple strokes and he can’t walk. My cousins are older now and the eldest is 2 years younger than me. His eldest daughter was in the room as well but he didn’t do anything to her. I talk to my cousins on the phone but I never talk to him. I ignored that it happened for years. I am 24 years old now. In my teenage years I became boy obsessed and hyper-sexual. I got into relationships and got cheated on multiple times. I also feel like I developed OCD because of it. Now I don’t trust men or people at all. I also have triggers that make me feel horrible. A few months ago my older brother complimented my hair and my brain told me that meant he was attracted to me and it made me sick to my stomach. But that isn’t the case and I know that. But I hate that my brain made me think that. The other day my eldest brother (a different brother) facetimed me and showed me his son, my 3 year old nephew. He checked if my nephew peed my feeling his diaper. My brain told me “what if he’s touching your nephew inappropriately?”. God forbid.That made me spiral and feel like I can’t even trust my brother and made me scared for my nephew. I hate how I never can know. I would hate if that were true. That would break my heart because I love my brother and my nephew. But all because of my uncle, I feel like I can’t trust anybody or put it past them. Especially men. It’s ruining my life and making me break down and want to self isolate. I don’t want to live like this. I also don’t want my brother to ever do that. I hate this. Thanks for reading this if you made it this far.

I don’t know if it was ROCD or me falling out of love or what…but broke up with my ex a long time ago. He’s moved on. Not a day goes by where I don’t wish I could try again with him. There is nothing bad he did that I could cling onto, but I was obsessed with the “not right” feeling. I am fully convinced I will never love anyone else to that extent again. Or love them as fully. I’ve always wanted to get married but I don’t see it happening anymore. I don’t know what to do, any thoughts would be helpful. Thank you (edited)

17+ only. :/ — My siblings have contamination OCD and i have shared bathroom with them, that they won’t use anymore, because my bf used it, and now they treat me and him like we have a disease and it’s so dehumanizing. This happened two days ago, After me and my bf showered together, I went downstairs to get a drink because I was really thirsty, and on my way back upstairs, i saw my sister and smiled at her and was about to talk to her, but she ignored me and she stepped away from me and put her hands up, then looked away, and like curled her lips inwards? and i was confused but as I went past her she kept getting moving to make sure she was far away as i was going past her. And this really pissed me off and hurt my feelings. She was really rude about it. Now I was told by my mom that even my brother won’t use it anymore either because of my bf, but my BF is the cleanest person to exist. and he openly admits it but they don’t care. I don’t feel bad because they are so rude about it and especially my sister is rude to my bf for no reason

Hi, so I’m coming back to this app after a while because my own OCD has been flaring up quite a bit, that or I am just learning to be more aware of it and realizing I need help, not sure. Anyways I have a little brother who is 11. I’m 24, and I started experiencing OCD at a really young age. I think around 8 was the youngest I really recall having intrusive thoughts and persistent fears. My brother has Tourette’s syndrome, which is highly co-occurring with OCD, and he has shown signs since he was really little. Most of my family is undiagnosed but I see it in our mom, our grandma, and other family members too. Anyways my question is, how can I help him? Could a therapist on here help? I feel like we all deeply bury and internalize (and also normalize) our OCD in my family. We all mask really really well, and it’s not the best because we often “seem fine” when we are not fine at all. The same goes for him, so he lacks awareness of what is really going on in his head, or he tries hard not to think about it (which we all know just makes it worse). I think he also willfully hides his emotions out of a variety of different fears. I haven’t really been able to get him to be fully honest with me because he’s just always terrified of feeling like he’s in trouble or upsetting people. This is hard because I helped raise him and I really want to help him if he’d let me. He’s an extreme perfectionist too. He won’t ask for help from his teacher because he gets so terrified he will get in trouble (when he’s done nothing wrong). I always wish I had actual OCD care at his age when I was experiencing some of the worst of it. I remember just being totally clueless as to why I felt that way, and immensely ashamed. I tried to hide it at all costs. I see him doing the same. It makes me sad for him.

So does anybody ever have moments where something happens and it triggers anxiety and they can't choose whether they should or shouldn't confess to others about it? I was talking with a friend and I noticed that saliva flew out of my mouth and looked like it got into food and I wanted to say something but I just couldn't get passed whether I should or not because of the anxiety and then I ended up not saying anything and I feel awful about it. Then an insect flew into my side of the food and I ate it anyway because I really didn't want it to go to waste.

Does anyone else mourn the life they could’ve had or once had before? Like if that one event or one decision never occurred, could the life I wished and dreamed for now be a reality or was it always meant to be like this? I just don’t want it to be like this forever. I tell myself “everything happens for a reason, it is what it is, in time I’ll see and it’ll all make sense” but sometimes that optimism isn’t enough. I think I get too attached, to people, places, objects, ideas, way too emotional and sentimental, and sometimes it’s just too much. I miss what could’ve been, but what can you do? I just have to try my best to fix whatever I can and keep myself together. Just feels like I’m always mourning some loss I’ve yet to understand and I just want to heal. I don’t know what it is, sometimes slips my mind if I’m lucky but there’s always this empty pit within me. Maybe it’s overthinking, maybe it’s a projection of my fears, but I don’t know, I just want to stop thinking that the worst is always coming and eventually going to happen. Anyone else?

So before I started treatment my sister had anxiety meds so I asked her because my ocd was really bad and it’s bad right now like extremely. Theme after theme so I she gave me 2 until I can get prescribed some and i took it hours ago and all I am is tired, I still have the anxiety and maybe worse. Excuse my language but I feel like shit

So in the past year that I’ve been diagnosed with OCD it’s always been relationship OCD and I feel that I’ve got a pretty good handle on understanding how to deal with relationship OCD but the past few days I have been obsessing over like different health things like yesterday I was watching so many videos on rabies and like learning all about it and questioning if I had rabies and then like I have a dry patch on me and I thought it was ringworm or something, but I don’t think it is based on like how it is I don’t know, but I did a Teladoc appointment because I noticed a rash and they gave me a prescription for it and like it’s no big deal. it’s just a yeast infection but then he said that like the thing that I thought was ringworm, I should go see my primary care provider to make sure that it’s not skin cancer and so now I’ve been looking up like skin cancer signs what it looks like and stuff because he kind of freaked me out with that and I don’t know if this is a normal reaction to someone saying that or if this is more of like an obsession now.

What dose? How long did it take? Some people say Wellbutrin or anti psychotics have helped the ssri eliminate ocd! I also know some people don’t respond well to some ssris or dose, so I’m just trying to get others experiences about the timeline it took to get better and what percent reduction you had with ___ med(s) I’m on 3 weeks of lexapro the lowest dose and I’m not sure if it’s the best fit or too low a dose. I’ve heard it takes 2 months to see a result. I’ve had ocd for a year and a bit over as a result of being roofied. Thanks!

Anyone else have ROCD and just go through a breakup? We broke up 2 months ago but I still think about it every day. I moved to another country to study for the semester and yet I still think about it. Is anyone else going through this? Just looking for someone to talk to 🫶 or some advice on how to deal with this (that doesn’t involve compulsions lol). I also made this playlist that has been helping me get through this experience. It’s private so request if you’d like to follow but I’d love to see if it helps anyone else out. Thanks!! https://open.spotify.com/playlist/6klqvxGgbBuMEYE61G4zLp?si=oxo5LdTTTlSMOCzOa7G2Lw&pt=0160b2efd08ddb94d55252adcbfb7e56&pi=MrYcTDa5SVyIB

Chatgpt is triggering..