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 working to conquer OCD
As a practicing devout Catholic I am often very conflicted about determining my moral culpability and if my thoughts and actions are mortal sins. A lot feels at stake here since it’s about offending God and whether or not I need to go to reconciliation so I don’t go to hell. It doesn’t seem prudent to say “maybe, maybe not”. What am I to do?
After I started experiencing SOOCD for the past 5 years, I have had absolutely no sexual drive and no (barely anything) attraction to men. I’ve also sort of been emotionally numb for a very long time and I think it’s due to the years of anxiety and horrible depression. Ive been living like a rock, im just floating through life. I have no interests, no hobbies, zero motivation, no goals, and i feel like im going to be stuck like this forever. TMI !!!!!! I think the last time I felt actual genuine arousal/excitement was when I reconnected with my ex a couple years back and that was literally just for a day because SOOCD shut that down quickly. Since my SOOCD started when i was young i never fully felt aroused when I was being intimate. I wanted to do it and I wanted to feel things so badly but I couldn’t/i couldn’t get fully turned on. A month ago I was starting to feel happier, the intrusive thoughts/compulsions were very rare, and I was rarely experiencing the grounds response or or triggered (even though i still had no libido or attraction). I was doing pretty good and I recently got into a new relationship and my boyfriend literally woke up the attraction, I slowly felt myself becoming less numb. Just hanging out with him I started thinking “wow he’s so cute” “i want him to kiss me” “i wish he would hold my hand” “his smile is nice why is he so fine”. I felt something so sweet and It made me so so happy. We had such sweet dates and I was starting to feel like I was getting myself back. I still didn’t have a sexual drive (it was waking up slowlllyyy) and my flare up was starting to get worse so I couldn’t fully enjoy being intimate. My flare up has gotten pretty bad again lately i’m questioning all the things I felt with him and all the attraction and feelings are being clouded by intense anxiety, doubt, and worry. It triggers the SOOCD thoughts so bad and in the shower i was worrying that my anxiety, checking (of arousal, attraction, emotions, etc), other compulsions, and numbness are going to ruin my relationship. It just makes me worry that i’ll never get those feelings back. TMI!!!!! i just want to feel h*ny again man and I want to feel those feelings I felt for my man 😭 Literally 6 years of numbness, depression, anxiety and I finally felt somewhat normal 😭 he was waking things up and my intrusive thoughts messed it all up again. Anyways, I just want to know if anyone has experienced this and if ERP helped at all. I have a therapist now (thank you nocd) and I’m finally going to do ERP, try to fix my depression, and stuff like that. I’m trying to take the advice of someone who commented on one of my posts. They say that i need to continue my life no matter what ocd tells me. It’s getting harder again but I just hope the work im about to put in will allow me to finally enjoy my life.
I’m 20 weeks pregnant and I stopped my medication by suggestion of my psychiatrist. I was on Zoloft 50 mg. I was feeling ok until 2 weeks ago when I started a new job and I started my second semester in grad school. For example today I’m at wit ends. I feel my body shaking from the inside and just so much fear. I thought it was anxiety for starting a new job but I think is my ocd plus having a lot on my plate. Today I called and made an appointment with a new psychiatrist and see if I can go back to my meds and hoping they help me level up. Also made an appointment with my therapist here at NOCD. Has anybody experienced anything like this? And has medication helped with how you feel? I just need words of encouragement
This is going to sound so silly, but I’ve always wanted to try lip plumping glosses, just for fun! I love playing w makeup. Now the issue: I’m scared of the potential burning/tingling sensation. I deal with allergies and swelling lips was something I experienced as a kid during some of my more…traumatic reactions. I have big health OCD around allergies so I’m just scared of putting on the gloss and seeing my lips swell up bc of an allergy and maybe triggering a more serious reaction if it gets in my mouth. Idk how to deal with this…🥲 I could just,,, not wear them, but I also think I should choose that out of a personal choice and NOT bc of fear, you know?
I’m realizing that maybe my OCD gave me all the doubts about God and that’s what helped me be able to leave my religion (Christian Baptist Fundamentalist). Everyone around me never doubted as much as me or had as much skepticism (at least not out loud) and I never understood why I was so different from them. What is your experience with OCD and religion? Did it make you decide to leave? To stay? How do you feel about religion and OCD now?
Am I a bad person for still resenting my mom for things she did during my childhood even though she has apologized ? I get nightmares about my family every night and its tormenting me so much, i feel like i cant get over it. Idk what to do. Talk therapy doesnt help and I dont even want to talk about it anymore, its just constantly following me everywhere, this resentment and anger. Im so tired. I can't even get rest because i also get ocd nightmares as well. I just want peace
I need to vent to everyone. So I realize over the past year that I am a really bad overthinker and I let my thoughts get the best of me. I think I’ve been struggling really bad with ROCD. One thing me and my partner gotten an argument about was the fact that he is my first relationship and my first everything and I was open with him telling him that sometimes I have curiosity about if I’m missing out or anything along those lines. in the argument, I was so guilty and I cried so bad and I feel like a horrible person. Of course I don’t wanna act on those things but I think my OCD is also making me feel or question if I do wanna act on something, but I know deep down I don’t. I really see after the fact, I should’ve kept that specific thoughts in my head and not tell him because he was upset and he kind of question whether or not I want to be with him, but he was also very understanding. The things is, he’s been been in another relationship relationships but he’s my first relationship and my first everything. We’ve been together for almost 4 years and randomly all these things started happening with the curiosity was there because I just sometimes just curious and I know that can be human nature. Am I a horrible person? Does anybody else relate to this? I think i’m seeking reassurance too.
Good morning! I’ve been diagnosed with OCD for 5 years now, but just began looking for help with therapy. I’ve been well regulated on SSRIs for 5 years, but since my husband got laid off, we moved to a new state, I took a new job in a new field, and we are living with my parents at the moment, I’ve been struggling with depression, anxiety and OCD. Im maxed out on my SSRI, and I also want to push myself to find answers for myself without turning to medication, because with big life changes, I’ve always increased the dosage and never addressed the issues at hand with ERP/coping. I have anxiety everyday while at work. Obsessive thoughts of “am I anxious right now?” “Will I ever feel better?” “Is treatment working?” “Can I do this?” “Am I scared to be alone?” “Am I truly happy here?” These thoughts send me into a space where I’m crying at my desk, struggling to get through the day, and feeling no self confidence. I’m not content with just being in the process and I’m struggling to acknowledge anxious thoughts without ruminating or trying to fix them- I want answers and fixes now and I’m so scared I’ll never feel or get better. Any advice? It’s messy - it’s not straight up OCD, but it also doesn’t feel like generalized anxiety.
Well, I'm a lesbian who has been living with this type of OCD for a few years and many things bring me intrusive thoughts and trigger crises. Something that always freaks me out is how people describe their attraction as primarily intense and nervous, and to me it's really more like some mild, adorable enthusiasm and a feeling of fascination and wanting to get some attention from the girl too. But nothing really nervous, something might tighten in my stomach, but it won't be irremediable or so intense,Maybe I don't even really realize it at the time. There's also a bit of a loss of words and a bit of a blur, I seem slightly disconcerted, but not really anxious in a physical way And kind of crazy as some (many) describe it on lesbian and queer community forums. It really freaks me out, like if my attraction doesn't match all this anxiety does that mean I'm not actually attracted to girls?! Am I not a lesbian then? My OCD says maybe I'm straight, Because for me it's much easier to feel anxiety in interactions with some guys than with girls, but it doesn't seem like attraction to them either. In the presence of men I have anxiety about, it's more like hypervigilance about how I'm perceived by them (they'll judge me), It's not all guys I feel this way about, but some guys, This happens to guys I know who have some kind of social status. And the anxiety around them is literally a flight response mixed with hypervigilance, it's literally fear, Even though I feel like he's a nice guy, and I can acknowledge that and I can even find his company enjoyable, I can't help but feel at least a little "please leave" for certain types. In fact, I don't want anything sexual or romantic with men, I absolutely don't identify with the way people who like men say they feel about them. It's just anxiety to me. Furthermore, I feel immense disgust at imagining myself with a man on any level, even without having had any bad experiences with men. I have never been abused by a man and And I haven't experienced any trauma involving men at any stage in my life, so it's an absolutely inherent discomfort for me. I've tried dating men before and it was always uncomfortable, I couldn't touch them, or imagine doing any of that without feeling disgust and repulsion. I couldn't tell them that I loved them the way they expected, or that I simply liked or was attracted to them. It felt wrong, it was simply the wrong answer. But I always thought anxiety was the only thing that showed attraction, so it took me a while to consider not liking men. But I really don't, I don't like them to the point where it makes me sick. I've always been much more friends with girls than with boys. Girls have always been much more in my social circle, I've always learned more social skills from them. Guys were kind of distant,I had male friends, yes, and I still do, but there isn't as much connection, they are more friends. So I've probably learned to be more relaxed around girls, even around the ones I'm even slightly attracted to, it's just like that. But I feel a desire to be with him. When they're closer to me, I feel this desire to be with them, not as a friend, but as something that involves romance with them. I feel happy and comfortable. But I'm terrified now, I'm really terrified now. If all this attraction-related nervousness doesn't suit me, then I'm straight?! What if I am? What if I can't be a lesbian? I really think this might invalidate my sexuality, I'm scared to death. I'm literally crying my eyes out because I can't feel like I belong anywhere else. But then I think "what if I just want to be special?", "what if I'm not really a lesbian?". I don't want to get involved with men at all, I want girls and I desire them and I fantasize about them, But what if my attraction is fake?! What if the fact that I genuinely want to be in a romantic relationship with a girl is just bullshit? What if it means nothing, I don't feel that nervous illness they talk about when it comes to attraction! It's causing me a lot of distress and agony. I've been compulsively checking my reactions for a long time, and it's getting worse during these crises. Any other lesbians with OCD who can relate to this? Please, I need answers, I'm really freaking out.
So for like two and a half weeks I’ve been dealing with my OCD being so strong I can’t sleep. Like insomnia. And it’s all revolves around thoughts of that I won’t sleep, my body/brain doesn’t remember how to sleep, I’ll never sleep again. It’s the struggle of falling asleep. For a week I had true sleeping problems because of it, but since then I have been sleeping every night but the thoughts still ruminate. I was getting better but it got worse again and I’m afraid I’m going to fall into not sleeping again. Like, I’ve had sleep anxiety for years but I’ve been able to push it off by being able to sleep and fall into my life. I am in therapy and am taking the steps… I just want to know if there’s any advice from anyone about it or if anyone has experienced this? I also do take melatonin, magnesium glycinate and have an herbal sleepy tea— I mostly take these to shut my thoughts up but it doesn’t always work. Ps: I am working with a therapist. And I have spoken to a psychiatrist and got no sleeping meds, just a Zoloft prescription which I’m not fond of taking medicine due to a previous bad experience. As well as Zoloft has a side effect of insomnia so I don’t want that for obvious reasons. I would really prefer to tackle this without medicine if I can! Thank you for the understanding.
Hi everyone! I am feeling extremely distressed and don’t know what to do. Usually I have mental compulsions which I have a decent grasp on- but sometimes I get this weird compulsion with swallowing. It’s only happened to me a few times before and never this bad so I haven’t talked to my therapist about it yet. It’s like I have completely forgotten how to swallow normally. Every time I swallow I have to think about it and I push saliva or food or water into my nose. It’s extremely distressing and I have been doing it the last day and a half and I can’t stop. I feel like I have completely forgotten how to swallow and that I am going to hurt my body by making food/saliva/ water constantly pushed into my nose. Does anyone have advice or have experienced something similar? I can barely sleep/eat or swallow normally and it’s making me spiral terribly.
I ain’t saying this in pity of myself but I seriously am not a good person i hatè how I feel but sometimes my fanily annoys me badly really annoys me. They took me out of school but they where only doing Whay they thought was best but I still feel a little bit of this hatred for it. I don’t hate them tho but I’m with them all day everyday cos I have no friends cos of leaving school that’s why I’m so angry I left school. But because I’m with them so much I get annoyed at them insanly easily my dad has OCD too Í understand him but for some reason my dad doesn’t understand mine or more doesnt care to understand mine cos he’s too busy with his OCD which I understand I guess. But I get so easily annoyed.
I read on Facebook that the brain emits low frequencies, which means it can connect to universe and then our thoughts will connect to universe and make them true. Is that correct?Does ocd thoughts will connect to frequencies and make our thoughts true?I fear about law of attraction. Does law of attraction and manifestation make our thoughts true without action?
I feel like crying because I had an intentional bad thought and I’m just like would I actually do that I’m thinking it and it feels like I would
I just had an episode. My daughter was coming through the door and I didn't know it. It made me panic. I had a piece of material in my hand and I was panicking trying not to touch her and I believe I may have grazed her automatically across her chest with the material out of the panic of her being right there. Like it was almost like an impulse that felt wanted and automatic when the feelings came about and happened. Is that OCD?
whenever i think of things i want to think about like sxual things with people my age i don’t feel anything down there but when i think about things i don’t want to think about i feel something down there is this an indication that i’m a bad person idk what to do it feels like this is solid proof in this bad person
Another reason why I'm not so sure if I should step away from religion is watching certain shows like Hazbin hotel because I have a favorite character and it's Alastor!!! I heard that they had a Jesus character comming up in season 2 and I did not like that cause I'm like i guess Christan or I believe in Jesus Christ and have religious based beliefs. Like I didn't like Adam cause if you seen season 1 he's pretty bad. But I like the other characters. And I think people might be getting the show mixed up. But my point is here that I feel like I shouldn't be watching this show cause people have been saying the show is blasphemy and I do not wanna commit that religious or not. I just don't wanna do that period. Like I love alastor's character but the other characters always seem to be making hell like a good place but its not!!! In every religion hell is usually seen as bad. I know it's just a tv show but I just cannot help with the thoughts. And I don't know if I should even have a favorite character from this show.
I’m a momma of 2 that has suffered debilitating PP anxiety/depression etc and have recently come to the realization that PPOCD is my main issue. I’m just here trying to learn what I can and try my darnedest to get back to my old mentality for my babies.
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