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The thoughts are real? I have so ocd I really think I’m gay.

Please how can an intrusive thought be distinguished from our own thoughts ?

I saw a Tik tok video randomly of a woman petting her cat at the base of its tail and it making a funny noise. I read the comments and random ppl were saying she was turning her cat on…which is not true. Anyway, one day I saw my sweet cat and decided to sit on the floor and just pet her and love on her. As I was petting her, the intrusive thought of that video came in and I still petted her near the base of her tail literally for like 2 seconds and now my ocd has been questioning intentions and I’m having the hardest time of my life. 😭😭😭 I just need someone to relate to. 😭 Any advice?

I’ve had off and on fears and thoughts of being a narcissist but at this point it doesn’t feel like a fear anymore it feels true and it feels like it all makes sense the more I learn about narcissism. I’ve even put the label on myself and have been monitoring all my social interacts and motivations. I don’t know if telling myself I’m a narcissist causes me to act more narcissistic either. I have some specific examples and factors to talk about that might be too long to post, so if I can talk about them to anyone on here I’d appreciate it 😭🙏

Got a message yesterday that my therapist is taking leave for a few weeks and I don’t have therapy again til the 29th. During this time my wife is going on a trip for work for 5 days and I’m gonna be alone with my son. I’m really worried about having a panic attack in front of my son. Normally my wife is my safe person and helps me so much.

I think I have mild OCD. Maybe that's why I can't relate to many of the difficulties experienced by other posters. My OCD is more on the compulsion side performing certain rituals at key transitions or points during the day. I honestly cannot figure out what the underlying obsession is other than some kind of weird mental hoarding to acknowledge and cherish a moment but also to protect my family and even my pets. I get little or no anxiety (I used to when I was younger). Even mild OCD absolutely sucks and is debilitating to an extent.

Something I don’t really understand and it grinds my gears 🤣. I am a 110% certain on something that will never happen in my life time but my ocd won’t accept it? Like my heart feels yeah that’s never happening ever I a million years…. But my ocd is like nope I’m against your values and morals! It’s draining 😴

Can I get some tips on how to not seek reassurance I have HOCD and had it for three years now unfortunatly. I’ll have times where it’s not as bad then I’ll get a spike again and I rlly need to put an end to this but I can’t seem to stop seeking reassurance I’ll go thru phases where I’ll stop seeking for a while but then I’ll always come back. Tips would be appreciated

Today I had a big learning moment. My ocd had been getting better these past few weeks and things have been looking up but today i was struggling. I stayed in bed all day super bored and my ocd flared up really bad. Looking back at my day now i feel bad how I handled certain situations.. im just going to look at it as a learning moment and handle bad days differently. Everyday can't be great, I have lots of things im looking forwards to and i know tomorrow will be better. Recovery isn't a straight line

For context, im going to college for 6 years (less than 2 years away to graduate college) to focus on fixing my GPA, volunteering, and MCAT studying... as well as graduating... My parents keep guilt tripping me and asking me questions like "did you know how much we've spent to keep you in college?" And telling me the amount they've spent on my college education... my mom keeps saying that "shes not trying to make me feel guilty, but it's a fact you have to accept..." I know they've spent a lot of money to help me... my mom claims she spent over 70k on me... and I know they're suffering... but them constantly telling me the same thing and saying things like I should drop out to focus on making money to save is honestly degrading my mental health... My mom is the only one who knows the full extent of how extremely horrible my extremely awful and terrible POCD real events when i was either 13 or 14 were... so it feels like im indebted to her for helping me throughout... but her constantly asking me these kinds of questions and then saying "im not trying to make you feel guilty" is counterintuitive... UPDATE: when I called my mom just now... crying about how much I l0athe myself every time she guilt trips me, she kept bringing up her own pain, and that I didnt keep my promises... to the point where I genuinely asked her if I delete myself, will she be happy... she at first compared me to other kids who graduated in four years, then asked if I thought I had suffered more than she has... and if i did, that I should "stop talking to her"... I genuinely cant take this anymore... I cant take this from her anymore... I cant take life anymore... she makes me feel like I shouldn't be here... I genuinely dont want to be here...

For context, im going to college for 6 years (less than 2 years away to graduate college) to focus on fixing my GPA, volunteering, and MCAT studying... as well as graduating... My parents keep guilt tripping me and asking me questions like "did you know how much we've spent to keep you in college?" And telling me the amount they've spent on my college education... my mom keeps saying that "shes not trying to make me feel guilty, but it's a fact you have to accept..." I know they've spent a lot of money to help me... my mom claims she spent over 70k on me... and I know they're suffering... but them constantly telling me the same thing and saying things like I should drop out to focus on making money to save is honestly degrading my mental health... My mom is the only one who knows the full extent of how extremely horrible my extremely awful and terrible POCD real events when i was either 13 or 14 were... so it feels like im indebted to her for helping me throughout... but her constantly asking me these kinds of questions and then saying "im not trying to make you feel guilty" is counterintuitive... UPDATE: when I called my mom just now... crying about how much I l0athe myself every time she guilt trips me, she kept bringing up her own pain, and that I didnt keep my promises... to the point where I genuinely asked her if I delete myself, will she be happy... she at first compared me to other kids who graduated in four years, then asked if I thought I had suffered more than she has... and if i did, that I should "stop talking to her"... I genuinely cant take this anymore... I cant take this from her anymore... I cant take life anymore... she makes me feel like I shouldn't be here... I genuinely dont want to be here...

Terrified I’m going to say or do something wrong, as I’ve been known to loose control before, I’m terrified of myself. Something feels badly off all of the time, it feels like sometbing terrible is going to happen any second, all day. Bad night anxiety, stomach dropping, terrified to sleep and that I’ll die in my sleep, terrified I’ll sleep walk and kill someone or harm myself, terrified I’ll wake up to the worst news or someone’s going to need me and I can’t be there for them then they will be mad, harm themselves, ect Summer is always the worst time, spring it starts, fall I seem to do better and good during winter Self harm urges, I feel out of control, I cant stop and I don’t want to stop. I love cutting myself to put it blankly. Terrified everyone is going to leave, so many people have bevause in so bad at controlling myself, my anger, my anxiety, I push EVERHONE away and isolate for weeks BEVAUSE I don’t want to mess up anything but I just end up messing it up either way. I’m terrified brie is going to leave and I need her. I seriously do not think I could live without her. I was like that with Baylee too, and I hate it I know it’s not rifht but I can’t help but rely on her for all my sanity. If she leaves I feel I have nothing, nothinf to live for, it’s really kicked in with her in the mental hospital I’m tired all day everyday, mentally and physically, but yet can’t ever seem to sit still and sleep, really bad insomnia for the past 5 days I don’t want to get better, I really don’t, I want to get as bad as possible. I want to be worse than some of the people I hang out with or see on the streets, I want scars that are noticeable, I want deep cuts, I want to look like I havnt slept in days, I want to get as bad as I possibly can and I don’t know why I don’t even know who I want to be anymore, I don’t know how I want my personality, some weeks I’m a funny, sassy person, then I’m wanting to be a mean snappy quiet person, then I want to be no body at all, either I want to bring light to the room or be the person EVERHONE sees as quiet and self isolated, sometimes I want to be just a calm collected person so on different days in different things, I don’t know who I want to be Very intrusive thoughts about wanting to kill people, myself, an animal, ect One wrong small change in brie and I think she hates me and is wanting to break up with me, then she shows me love again and I feel like everhthing is perfect, if the love isint being presented rifht to my face in a very clear manner then I believe it’s not there Random, constant episodes of “Deja vu” where either everhthing feels fake and the world moves weird like I was drugged, or where I swear I’ve been in thid moment before causing lots of anxiety thinking everytbing around me is fake or everhthing was imagined and I had just zoned out feom the moment I’m deja’ vu’ing and that everything else was never real, Bad memory, remembering thinfs that never happened, and not remembering A LOT of thinfs, even big things Waking up from naps feeling drugged and not knowing where I am, like a bad nap in a super hot room, but it’s EVERY nap Need constant reassurance but the second I get it I don’t believe any of it and push away my partner even though all I want is for her to comfort me

I have ZOCD, and have intrusive thoughts and groinals. I've been really bad at reacting to them, and would avoid my cat. But today I got a groinal and I just let it happen, usually I'd shake my head and obsess over them. then he jumped up, sat on my lap and I stroked him, didn't push him away, didn't react. Still felt uncomfortable, felt horrible but the response became less strong. Is this the right way to react to a groinal? To just let it be instead of strengthening the pattern to react when it happens? I hate groinals, I desperately do, I hate the idea my brain has that I'm a danger to my cat and I can't go near him, but I know that if I react constantly to the groinals and yell and shake my head and move him as far away as can, it'll only strengthen them. I'm crying, I'm worried this wasn't the right thing to do.

I had a really stressful couple of weeks and it's all hitting me right now. I cannot for the life of me shut off my brain my thoughts for a little and it feels like drowning. It's 1 a.m. here and I'm feeling completely hopeless like this feeling is going to last forever. I'm feeling like I can't use the tools I've been given my my psychologist and my meds feel like they've stopped working. I feel like by the end of the end I'm going to lose my mind. I usually am able to find some silver lining but today has been so bad. Everything triggers me and I have really bad intrusive thoughts about dying and finding some peace but I know that's not what I want. It's just so difficult navigating life when your brain works against you. I'm so tired and defeated and I feel like I have no one to turn to, but even that is some form of reassurance and it makes me spiral that I decide actively against it. I just feel like I'm losing my mind and I'm going "insane" from the distress. All my failed friendships and relationships have come back to haunt me and I feel like I can't get out of the house. All my sort comings are layed out in front of me and I feel like I am the worst person in the world and nothing will fix that. I have some real bad thoughts about my friends and family. And I know alla of this is classic symptoms of OCD but even though I know I can't rationalize and come to peace with them. I'm so envious of people being able to lead a normal life without this burden and in my mind it's just highlights all my shortcomings. I've had moments like this before but the last really nasty one was four years ago when I was yet undiagnosed and I really felt insane back then. I was hoping that when this happened to me again I'd be more capable of handling it but I don't think I am. I'm constantly on a battle against my mind and some times I win and sometimes I lose. I'm sorry for the rant I just feel extremely hopeless right now.

I made posts worrying about age gaps, and I continue to worry. But I'm thinking about just looking at what I believe and what I currently think is moral, and saying whatever to what anyone else says and thinks. About me or others. I think at 18 someone is an adult, and I don't care about age gaps past that. If you're 18+, it's whatever who you date and it's not wrong to be attracted/have sex with someone much younger as long as they are 18+. I worry my thinking is wrong especially because of how many people are against this mindset, but I can't find myself agreeing with them and when I look this up online many opinions vary on what age gaps are okay and what age you become an adult. So, I'm thinking about just saying screw it and not caring about it for myself and other people. If I'm 30 and am sexually/romantically attracted to an 18-year-old, whatever. If someone is 20 and dating a 50-year-old, whatever. Not wrong and not bad.

After my psychiatrist appointments, I can't stop obsessing over whether or not I explained things correctly, or if I exaggerated without noticing? We spoke about the possibility of ADHD today, and after I got home, I kept wondering if I had exaggerated my experiences of struggling to focus, finishing tasks, feeling paralyzed when I want to get things done, etc... This is how I felt when I got diagnosed with anxiety and OCD, though. It's just sort of stressing me out 🫠 Has anyone dealt with similar?

i think i’m struggling with rocd but the thoughts feel so much more different than they have before. i was just wondering if the thoughts i’m going to list are also the thoughts other have had, and if so, do you have any tips to manage them? my thoughts are: “do i love my boyfriend?” “i don’t love him” “what if you don’t love him?” “i do love him” “is he the one?” “is he attractive?” “does that give you the ick?” “is this character trait of his bothersome?” “because this happened it means we aren’t compatible” “you need to break up with him” “do you want to break up with him?” “do you want to marry him?” i was just wondering because i feel so tired from trying to overcome them, that they’re just now starting to feel true. and just thoughts im gaslighting myself or that my thoughts are real and i really don’t love my boyfriend

So I reached “conquerer status” awhile back, but never felt like I conquered. I masked my progress with willful avoidance. Then things got very bad for me, meta-ocd started pulling at subtypes I never aligned with, and it basically got my nervous system “stuck” where every day was a nightmare of anxiety. And then with help from my therapist, I leaned it. I challenged myself and stopped avoiding, because I had already been through hell. And in 3 weeks, my progress now is remarkable. I have my bad moments, but not so much bad days, and even if I do, I’ll tolerate them too. I may still be sick, but I’m definitely getting better. So now I can write this post and congratulate myself. Because I’ve earned that, and I’m going to keep earning it. If you ever feel like it’s not working, or you’re “doing it wrong” just keep doing it, reach out, and lean in.

My real-events are terrible. I'm plagued daily by multiple awful things I did as a child / teenager (please don't downplay it.) I've grown into a better person, but the memories won't let me see any progress. It feels as if my insides are dying from grief and shame. How do you go day to day not picturing yourself as a monster?

How can I stop thinking about my OCD? I’ve had a very bad day today and now it’s the only thing on my mind. Thing is, when I have it on my mind, I’m so hyper aware of my situation, everything begins to be victim to my OCD. How can I get my brain to stop obsessing over my OCD so I can get back to doing the things I like without stressing over my ocd getting to them?