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working to conquer OCD
I keep having this overwhelming thought of "I need to break up with her," however I really don't want to. It causes me so much anxiety when I try to fight the urge to the point that I'm bed ridden and unable to work. Is this normal for ROCD or am I just fighting my actual feelings?
I dislike being neurodivergent âšď¸đĽ. Why do people keep exploiting my vulnerable points. He lied to me but he said he would never lie to me and I don't tell lies and never lied to him + he exploited me sexually, financially, mentally and emotionally (I can't bring myself to write everything because I can barely comprehend how he could do that to me). He told me he never liked me and was manipulating me prove I'm stupid and autistic. He didn't tell me since, he lied he loved me. This happened on Monday and I haven't been able to put it into words fully or tell someone. He coerced me to send nudes, money. I said no but he coerced me over and over and I knew I could have refused but he coerced me over and over. I'm 17 turning 18 and he's 20. He said he never liked me and was playing with my head because he guessed I wouldn't be able to tell especially because I'm autistic. This is not the first time I'm being emotionally abused and more than because I'm neurodivergent. I'm just on my bed stimming with my feet while tears drop from my right eye. Another day that makes me wish I was better are reading social cues. I don't even know how to tell people because they could blame međ. I'm devastated, I loved him and still do. He's a predator.
Been struggling with existential OCD lately. Very hard to describe the thoughts/feelings, but it is a constant feeling of being stuck in my head. Like what is consciousness and where do I think from? Like I think itâs OCD, maybe it is maybe it isnât. But if it is, what would be good ERP exercises? Just existing (lol)? And what would be my response prevention? Iâm not even sure what mental compulsions I may be doing.
Hi everyone, Iâm new to the community. I was diagnosed with OCD just a couple of months ago and have been doing some reading and other research to try and understand the disorder. With this, I have been actively seeing a great therapist who has been helpful to build tools to deal with my intrusive thoughts ( contamination OCD is my worst theme). Do help learn to deal with the compulsions, I start on Sertraline or âZoloftâ I believe since November 2024. Currently Iâm on 50mg and have been doing this for just over a month. My question for those who are also taking Sertraline and it has been successful, how do you know it has really provided a benefit and how long did it take to get there? I sometimes feel the medication works, and sometimes I feel it doesnât (maybe thatâs my OCD trying to mess with things). Thanks!
Im tired of knowing that people have blocked me on NOCD for my pocd / real events ocd posts... Im tired of knowing that I have real events that are POCD related... Im tired of getting intrusive thoughts and false memories of the worst case scenario for my pocd and real events ocd being true... Im so tired of it all...
I had a very bad session with a therapist today (NOT FROM NOCD). She basically told me I canât be helped without medication, said I am too needy and if I keep being needy, people will continue to leave me, and my past trauma from relationships is my fault. I then had a second session with my old therapist who helped process and explain that OCD is lifelong and some people manage it but others have flare ups and I think Iâm having a bad flare up (a month long basically) and that I may need medication which Iâm terrified to go back on. Does it get better? Will I need meds? Iâm scared. I donât want to get worse and I donât want these thoughts to scare me.
I donât know what to do anymore, this started nearly a year ago and caused so much stress and panic attacks over the thought of loosing my boyfriend. Now it just feels real and that he always liked girls and suppressed it (but like the boys i always liked in the past were real feelings they had to be and with my boyfriend i love him) but i havenât got much anxiety now feels like i want the thoughts and that they donât bother me even tho they used to, this seems to happen every time i get a lil better, idk just feels so true and thatâs what i acc want with no stress, just a lil scared.
I cant get over this thought that is messing my recovery up so much. it was âif you dont act on your thoughts this will never go awayâ which led to thoughts like if i even wanted to get better, if i even want my life back, if i even WANTED this to go away, etc. im scared. im confused. is this normal? am i gonna have to act on this stuff now? im mainly concerned about my family. i dont wanna hurt them. this disease is horrible. this subtype is horrible. i love my family. why would i want to hurt them? im so afraid this is it for me. i try to do what everyone tells me. ignore the thought, let it sit, sit with the uncertainty/discomfort but the anxiety doesnât go away. this thought keeps coming back with a vengeance. i thought i was making great progress but im back where i was. i ruminate about this 24/7 and i dont know how to stop. we tried sitting on the couch together last night and it felt like i was RESISTING hurting them. im in constant awareness that i can act on these anytime and it hinders my daily life and work so much. everytime i talk to anyone in my family i feel things like i shouldnt be talking to them if im gonna hurt them and i dont deserve to be around them. i feel like i dont deserve to be alive, i dont deserve to be happy, and i dont deserve to be comfortable. i feel like a psycho whos never gonna get to live life with a husband and family. i feel like i donât deserve my sweet boyfriend. i dont want my thoughts to latch onto him. this is my mind when i wake up, when i try to go about my day, and when i go to sleep. it feels like it just wont dissipate regardless of what i do. the cycle never ends. its been 4 MONTHS. what the fuck do i do anymore
my appointment with the psychiatrist is months away and still need to confirm everything but after talking with my therapist last night I just feel even more scared. Like scared I'm not going to provide enough info and then she'll tell me that nothing is wrong then all of this is for nothing. Of course, id love for there to be nothing wrong with me and to feel none of these things that have been bothering for so long. But the fear of being told that there isn't when its causing so much worry... it's making me really anxious. But it also makes me feel guilty because I feel like I'm just looking for attention or making something out of nothing. Even though I know very well it isn't nothing. I know that people sometimes take years or even decades to get help or get a diagnosis that actually fits what they've experiencing and im scared of that too.
It's been more than two weeks im obsessing over social media especially my classmate who have freedom to do whatever like wearing revealing clothes be on social media. I've been buying clothes to do exactly like her which I really don't want to do it. But still I planning when to wear and when is the perfect timing. Also even if I wore ut my picture looks ugly then I might pan to do other day. The thing is I'm continually thinking when and how especially when your family member are lil strict. I'm think I ng continually which is effecting my studies alsoeven if I job I still plan when what if I didn't got time. I'm fedup I want to be happy and stay happy. I can't do this anymore because i can't have anxiety due to my heart problems. Plz anyone help me I will be so greatful. Plz and plz.
I have now been blocked by someone on NOCD who reassured me and comforted me... Im genuinely done... im tired... im so so tired... i dont know if they think im a P or a MAP now... Im genuinely just done... Im done believing in happiness... Im done believing that good things can happen... because even those who cared about me are blocking me on NOCD... im done... Im done...
I genuinely feel so alone and miserable... i had to miss out on an exam because of how severe my pocd got... im currently sick with a fever... and right now my pocd and real events ocd is telling me that im a MAP and a P because of my real events that are pocd related... and people have blocked me on NOCD... so that makes it worse for me... I get scared that Ill be cancelled and demonized because of my real events OCD and POCD situations... i dont ever want to be a MAP or a P in any way... and it legitimately scares me because the last thing i want is to be a P or a MAP...
Has anyone experienced where you love woman everything about them, even to the point where you still can get erections watching normal porn, lesbian porn etc. but you find your self still admiring a good looking man. Iâve went through the groinal responses when seeing a man but honestly after watching porn and realizing itâs not about sex it went away. On the other hand even when thereâs a male and a female in a picture I canât stop looking at the male and judging, but the minute theyâre naked Iâm fine and looking at the woman. I started watching porn at a very young age so Iâm wondering do I only sexualize woman and admire the man so in everyday life I donât see her as beautiful because sheâs not naked ? I understand as a straight male I can still think guys are attractive but why do I constantly notice them more than women? I also can admire and see when a girl is beautiful in the face but then if a dude thatâs more attractive than me pops up in staring at him. Has anyone experience this?
I struggle with HOCD or SOOCD. Iâm a married young woman to an amazing husband. Iâve had this since I was 16 but it only came in flair ups. However this round started in October, and itâs been really rough and I would just break down all the time. I went up on my medication and I actually noticed a difference! My thoughts were still very present but I wasnât really paying attention to them or giving them power. HOWEVER right when I thought I was getting better, my brain started feeling and saying to myself that I just know I am bi but you want to make excuses for it like âoh itâs normal to find someone hot since we as a society have an interpretation of what that looks likeâ or âI see the girl as myself and thatâs what âturnsâ me onâ or âwell I mean that girl looks kind of like a manâ and itâs itâs making me spiral. I wonât ever come out as Bi as deep in my soul I donât feel I am. I have always wanted to be with men sexually and romantically and that has not changed but my brain is making me believe I am and I just donât want to admit it. Please help me, what has helped you?
Iâm struggling so much, I donât know whatâs changed. I was doing so well for a solid two months and now itâs been over a month of just my lowest point. My bf has gotten upset at how much I do compulsions and itâs taxing him too. I canât imagine how hard it is to be my partner right now. I feel exhausted Iâm tired of my OCD finding new things to obsess or worry over. Iâm so TIRED of getting stuck on technicalities. Iâm so exhausted with the constant intrusive thoughts and intrusive thinking. Iâm so sick of how compulsive I get when Iâm so riddled with anxiety. I donât want to keep pushing. It feels pointless if my life is going to be a constant loop of ups and extreme lows. I feel like such a disgusting, embarrassing person. I donât want love because I donât feel like I deserve it. I donât want patience or understanding because it makes me feel so guilty. Like no one is understanding how bad of person I could truly be. Iâm so lost and tired of this
this past month ive been feeling grossly anxious because sometimes I feel like my gf is ugly. im so ashamed of this and i just wish this could stop, I hate it so deeply. there is this interview my lover did in the middle of the street and in the video she doesn't look her best and i know it's normal not to always look DASHING and angles can sometimes make u look a bit different but my anxiety stems from the fact that i think she looks a little less flattering because her double chin looks more prominent than it usually does irl. my lover has a double chin no matter their weight and i don't mind, i don't think it's ugly or that she should lose weight, I find her cute and i don't think that one has to be skinny to be beautiful, I find that very stupid. and yet I feel like she looks less flattering because of how her double chin looks in the video and that makes me feel HORRIBLE, cus she always has a double chin so i shouldnt feel like that for a trait she already possess. what if she gains weight and her double chin will actually look more prominent ? it would be disgusting if i found her less pretty only because of that. I shouldn't think like this, her double chin doesn't make her less pretty i should love her regardless. i feel so gross. ive been watching that interview on loop because i Just want to feel like she's pretty no matter what. i hate this i don't know what to do.
so. oh lord. half my ocd symptoms could be autism. (not that im looking for a triple diagnosis including adhd, its just interesting to explore) this little ol rabbit hole started with my friend, who happens to be autistic and passionate about how their own condition works, when they started slowly easing the convo into an autism screening and by the time i realized what he was doing it was âoh my god ur kinda right i might be wrong for denying all this time that i could have autismâ always thought my experience with texture/sensory as a toddler (and now) was ocd, because thats mainly what made adults call me ocd, more blatant ocd signs aside (such as touching things âjust rightâ, ordering items etc) wondered why i was like that when theres not even a *direct* link between ocd and sensory issues (not the same as somatic ocd) thought i just happen to be an extremely sensitive person since i was born, now realizing that couldve been a sign of autism, along side many more âquirksâ ive always had anyone with autism and ocd that can tell me what their experience is like? what about when u were children? especially if u snuck under the radar until u were older, my parents have said only a few times in the moment that i remind them of an autistic kid but dont think i have it
Iâve had this feeling all day that Iâm just gonna lose control because Iâm not checking how I feel. I had this thought like oh well you wouldnât be brushing your teeth or eating if you was gonna act on it and then I felt relief for a bit and now Iâve started getting thoughts like whatâs the point in cleaning or eating if youâre gonna act on it & now I feel confused?? Whatâs going on
If you are in crisis, please use these emergency resources to find immediate help.
OCD doesn't have to
rule your life
