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I'm 20 weeks pregnant, have suffered with ocd since 16. Had a mental break down over a year ago. Here I am feeling like I am relapsing and the thoughts are out of control, and even worse now that I feel guilty I am causing my baby stress when it's not his fault.

whenever i loose something literally anything anyone has given me even if it is just the packaging that came with a gift i will start crying and get so mad at myself. i think the person who bought it for me will hate me. especially when i loose jewelry i look around my room for literally as long as possible and the whole day if that’s what it takes and it keeps me up at night. At camp, i thought i lost my waterbottle (when it was in my bag) and i went in my bunk bed and started crying. it was super late at night and everyone was sleeping and i feel bad bc i had to turn on a flashlight to look around the entire cabin for it. i even walked outside to the bathroom to see if i left it and tears were literally falling from my eyes when i couldn’t find it. the whole night i was crying and couldn’t think about anything else. it was just a water bottle that i could just buy again.

Everytime I do exposure therapy and even if it ends up good I get more nervous for the next time. How do I get past this I really need some help please. Now I am scared to even move the car after I drove on the main road 2 days ago.

I won’t explain this again if you’ve been or going through it you know what I’m talking about. I felt good about women about an hour ago and now I’m worrying again I’m anxious and the groinals are back and it’s so annoying because I can’t study. And honestly I’m so sick and tired of this. I’ve been a girl crazy my whole life and my mind randomly decides “well what if you are gay” like bro. I’ve never seen a guy that way and in general IT WAS NEVER SOMETHING I THOUGHT ABOUT OR ASSOCIATED MYSELF WITH. IVE NEVER FELT ANYTHING TOWARDS A MAN AND NOW IT FEELS LIKE IT RANDOMLY FLIPPED. I CANT DO THIS BRO. WHY WOULD THIS HAPPEN IVE BEEN GOING THROUGH INSECURITIES ALREADY AND MY ATTRACTION WAS THE ONLY REAL THING I HAD LEFT AND NOW THIS. HOW MUCH DO YOU HATE ME GOD.

Ive had an epilepsy diagnoses for a year now, and have started getting intrusive thoughts relating to it. I havent had a mal grand seizure since last year, and have been seizure free for a few months now. Because most of my seizures werent visible I convinced myself I didnt have epilepsy. I even secretly stayed off my meds. I feel like Im tricking everyone into thinking I have it, even though theres medical proof. I think my diagnosis is invalid because Im not struggling like most people with epilepsy. If anyone also has a chronic illness how do you deal with feeling like youre not sick enough

Huge tw I’m so scared I’m a r*pist people have told me I am. I wanted to lose my virginity when I was 19 I felt embarrassed and ashamed I hadn’t. I decided to get drunk and find someone in a club to lose it to. I don’t remember much other than I was happy it was finally happening and remember thinking my plan had worked. I was told by friends that the other person was drunk and possibly on drugs. I must be a r*pist as I knew what I was doing and instigated it, I took advantage and used someone. I feel sick and don’t deserve to move on I can’t even apologies as it was a complete stranger what if they’re living with trauma because of me.

i really struggle with anxiety because on my OCD (not professionally diagnosed but i’ve been experiencing a lot of symptoms for many years that’s it’s safe to assume i have it). the only way to relieve my stress is to google. But google never gave me proper answers or i just ended up more anxious than to begin with. Instead i started using chat gpt as a quick was to get reassurance. i feel bad using it tho because i know it’s just a compulsion to go and seek reassurance to calm my anxiety but if i dont atleast google something i end up spiralling anyways. it feels like no matter what i do ill be anxious .

Hi this is my first time posting on here. I wasn't sure if I should because I want to make sure I'm not seeking reassurance because I heard that makes ocd worse. I don't want to talk about what my ocd problem was, but basically I was really upset about a religious ocd problem that I know isn't true. I'm feeling a lot better about it now, but when it was bad I decided to try and get better on my own. I read about ERP therapy and how you're supposed to make a list of your ocd problems, from least distressing to most. So I wrote them down on two pieces of paper. At first I started with the simple ones, like looking for spiders before leaving the room. I have a tendency to look for spiders before leaving a room but lately I've been trying not to anymore. Then I decided to try and do one of the hard things. It was a religious ocd problem. I decided to start simple, and just write the problem down on a piece of paper. So I went downstairs and got some paper. But then I thought, oh no, my ocd is probably not going to like this. What do I do with the paper once I write it down? If I think what I wrote down is bad and going to upset God and I will go to hell, (even though I know logically it's not), my ocd is probably going to freak out if I throw away the paper. It probably won't calm down unless I erase it. So I just decided to not write it down on a paper, and just type it on my phone instead. So I did, I typed it on my phone. So, even though I didn't write anything down on the paper, now it feels like that peice of paper is bad. I feel like it's connected to the problem I was having, and I was so upset I called my mom crying asking her what to do. Eventually I decided to just put the paper back with the rest of the paper downstairs, but I'm still upset. I feel like I have to throw away all the paper downstairs, the pencil I was going to use to write down the problem, and the eraser I was going to use in case I needed to erase anything. It feels like if I use any of those items I will make God angry and go to hell. I know I shouldn't do this though, so I'm not going to. I don't know what to do with the papers where I wrote down my ocd problems. They are on my desk and I'm too afraid to move them. And if I put them in my desk I'm afraid they will get mixed up with other papers. I guess I can do whatever I want with them. I think I'll put them in a folder or binder and if I make any more ocd papers I can just put them in there.  I'm just really confused on how to move forward. Right now, I'm too afraid to use the papers, pencil, or eraser for anything. I feel like I can't write on them, draw on them, or anything. It's even making me feel like I can't make digital art. It's making me feel like I can't do a lot of things. I guess what I have to do is just do whatever I want to, because I know the ocd isn't true and doesn't make sense.

Hi everyone sometimes when I try to do something or do something my ocd tells me if I post a certain things or wear certain clothes that that some people in my life won't talk to me or distance themselves away from And I know it's sound crazy, but I feel like it's real what should I do I don't know how to fight it or stop I've been like this since I was 13 I went to therapy and iam taking my medicine but still those thoughts won't stop I don't know how to deal with it

Due to the experience I’m having with SOOCD… The false attraction to same gender and loss of attraction to opposite gender gender, I havnt been intimate with my wife for a while. Really struggling and it makes me just want to end it to be honest. Last night my wife and I had a argument about not being intimate and she said ‘you might as well be gay’ Well that put me in a horrendous spiral. I havnt slept and my anxiety is so high my chest feels like it’s crushing in. I’ve sweat all night. She doesn’t know what she’s done as she doesn’t really know about all my issues.

Hi, I feel so creepy with losing connection with one of my closest people in my life, my two daughters who grew up with me during the years I was hiding my ocd. I feel they are seeing me as a narcissistic person instead of taking in consideration that I collapsed in the last part of their teenage years due to so severe ocd that I took my self out of the home to "protect them" ad I was convinced people would be damaged if they came close to me. Also that I never considered me as valuable to them. I felt sorry for them that I were their mother during their entire childhood. In their teenage years I was not available, drowning my self in work avoiding by all costs my compulsive thoughts and the horror I was dealing with. Today they see me as a mother who left them, not taking care of them and only thinking about my self. They never sat down with me after the diagnosis was clear in 2023, and they took.active distance to me in 2018. They sometimes talk to me, like once a year, in Christmas at my parents house, but never take initiative to have contact. I can't deal with it on an emotional level, I feel totally numbed. I love them more than anything in the world and did everything I could since they where born up to the time when my ocd really started to take a toll on me and I withdraw more and more from the familiy. I don't know how to handle because it seems that they think I am a mother who doesn't care or did care, but my ocd is ignored and it feels as if they see it as an excuse for bad behavior. I don't know, it's my guessing. I am not trying to make them change any of their ideas about their childhood and the needs I could not meet. I am so sorry about it. What I can't understand is that they refuse to deal with the fact that I been ill. We are a big resourceful family, but this part of my ocd is hidden back my role as the creative, crazy black sheep, and on top of it all I have somehow succeeded in my profession at the years where I "disappeared ", so it makes it even harder to explain that I spent between 4 and 24 hours on my ocd each day. It's just that I was running my own business which required me and just me as the producer of my product . If I did not function some days or weeks no-one knew as long as I delivered what I was suppose to. In the end I didn't do that either, but for long time I managed against all odds and the he'll of my horrible pure ocd. Anyone who can relate I appreciate all kinds of responses to this. I didn't even speak with my daughters on my birthday or theirs. They don't want to talk to me. For a while I thought things was better, but then it suddenly became worse after a dinner in my parents home when the family was gathered. I don't have any clue about why and then they said through my father and mother that they don't want to talk with me. If I had been held hostage by a gerilja in a jungle for ten years and suddenly was released to come home after ten years, everyone would be happy on my behalf. This is how it feels to have got treatment for my ocd, which wad undiagnosed for 28 years. I have a new life already, just 2 and a half years in to treatment. But I lost my children. It feels so painful that I can't feel it. And I wish they could know the truth about my story.

im scared. I keep compulsively praying for bad things or death on the people I love. I don’t understand why. It doesn’t make anything better. I’m scared that these prayers count. I seal them as I do with most of my prayers in Jesus name and with a double amen. I’m scared God will want to teach me a lesson and make something come true. I’m scared I mean these prayers, I’m petrified. If something happened, I wouldn’t be able to live with myself :( I don’t know where to go from here

The compulsive praying for harm on others is back. I know compulsions are a choice, but right now, it feels impossible not to do them. I was spiraling because I thought about losing my boyfriend, and that scared me so much. But then, my brain twisted it with thinking that I would feel liberated and find comfort and new love if my boyfriend were “out of the way” and to this I almost felt excited? I don’t want to lose him. I don’t want him to die or go away. I don’t want him to be gone. But then, that spiraled into these awful thoughts where I felt like I had to pray for harm or death on him. I don’t know why I feel the urge to do this. It doesn’t feel like it will make anything better; it just makes me feel like it’s more likely to happen. I feel trapped in them. I don’t understand why my brain keeps doing this, can anyone help? Please

I don’t know where to begin, this is going to be very long. But whoever responds I appreciate you dearly. I’m 20 years old, I’ve dealt with a lot in my childhood with abandonment and insecurity issues from my family. Aswell of not having a role model of a healthy relationship shown to me as a child. Me and my boyfriend have been together for 3 years, my first healthy relationship. Last year I discovered OCD (I am diagnosed but I ignored my mental health as a teenager like anybody would) I started to get these feelings that I don’t love my partner/he’s not attractive enough/ etc etc. I’ve discovered that it’s ROCD. I made threads on Reddit asking for advice googling for reassurance, all the things as one would do with ocd (as I’m doing now!) One day I woke up and that theme was gone, I felt normal in my relationship for about 4 months with no terrible thoughts. As of about 2-3 months ago, my theme switched. Now I have a fear he doesn’t love me, he’s cheating, he doesn’t want to marry me. It has utterly consumed me (just like my last theme!) I check his phone an unhealthy amount (guess what I never find anything!) He always lets me go through his phone, but as anyone would he gets annoyed and frustrated. I always am searching for signs if he’s acting weird, will get into arguments 24/7 because my brain keeps telling me he’s cheating, I get fake scenarios in my brain, hell I even bought Snapchat+ to stalk his snap score. But ever single time I find nothing. A lot of things trigger me and I over analyze everything, phone calls who his texting. When I do search his phone I check his EMAIL because of how paranoid I am. When I see things on social media about people cheating I SPIRALLLL But what really triggered me was this scenario, his family loves to joke around with me and mess with him at the same time, especially with our relationship, saying I have a leash on him etc etc making jokes (which I can take but when I’m in an ocd spiral and they have no idea something’s are triggering) anyways, we were out to lunch and his mother texts him “are u at some girls house” he told me straight away then responded “why would u say that” then she proceeded to say she’s messing around with him. And sent a picture of me and said I’m with Hailey at lunch, then they had a normal conversation after. Obviously this sent me into a spiral, it still bothers me. I was so upset and anxious, when we got back to his house I went through that man’s phone like it was my only job in the world. And I search EVERYTHING not one thing goes untouched. (I sound insane) anyways we went back to his place, then he called his mom to come in his room and asked why she said that, she felt guilty and said she was messing around she had her hands in her head (mind you she’s been drinking probably just messing around with him when she texted that) she told me not to worry ever about that kind of stuff because her son is not that type of man, she proceeded to leave the room then texted me about how sorry she was and didn’t mean to freak me out and felt like shit about it. Ever since then she’s been acting kind of weird towards me (not really) maybe she’s uncomfortable or there’s another women idk LOL. Anyways yea what the hell do I do I literally can’t function properly.

I've recently been on a journey to find an effective therapy for my chronic pain(migraine). It's exhausting and draining and horrible, sure, but the thing that is the worst for me is the idea that some therapy will work. I'm terrified that this journey will end, it will have a simple solution, an easily accessible medication, and my pain will go away. One of the reasons, the reason I'm more comfortable talking about, is that my pain is real to me in a world, and in a mind, where few things can have an intense reality like pain. Generally, I ocillate between being unconvinced of my own existence or critically aware of it. I'm all jumbled up, my head is a swamp of ruminations and thought-stopping illusions, but my pain cuts through it like a knife. When my migraines are the worst, there are no more thoughts, just pain. This isn't stopping me from looking for a treatment though, and I mostly think of it as an interesting quirk in my relationship to my pain. The thing that really scares me, that might hold me back, is that I will get an easy treatment, the pain won't be there, and it was never as bad as I thought it was. In fact, this thing that has defined me, been a bouy in the storm of OCD even, was never real. It was attention, self-obsession, and it can go away easily because I'm blowing it out of proportion. I don't believe I'm lying, I'm scared that I'll be told it is a small thing or that it's not there at all. I'm oversensitive. I'm crying for help. There is no migraine, there is only OCD. It's silly to me as I write it, with a headache of course, but this is the thought plaguing me. This is what holds me back and urges me to not call my neurologist back, I'm scared it will have all been nothing, and then it will be gone.

Hey i dont even know if i belong here or not because i dont think so i have ocd i am just making an excuse for the past crimes i have committed i am 18 now and about to be 19 so just wanted to share something i know for sure i have done this crime when i was 13 or 14 because why would i think and feel guilty over an act i have never committed for 5 years so yeah i came to know about this thing OCD and now i am putting my crimes to it and false memory that kinda stuff but in my mind its always like that "you have done those acts i have proof" after asking my sister 3 times that do you even remember a glimpse of my inapproriate behaviour towards you but no she has answered "nope if i did i would tell you i never felt uncomfortable around you " well how may she remember when she was sleeping when i did those acts and yeah she was 12 too so she must be a deep sleeper well my mind have too much proof that i am a sexual abuser i dont know why i am still typing but just wanted to know do i deserve to live anymore because according to me i am done i cant tolerate these disgusting thoughts about my sister and i may be a threat to her and i dont deserve to live in this family i love them so much but i cant do it anymore i am such a monster they deserve so much better

I am having a really hard time with ocd and anxious thoughts and feeling extremely uneasy. I'm home alone today so it's really easy for me to get stuck in my thoughts. I'm on day 4 of prozac. I felt like yesterday I had a period of time of about 30 minutes where I felt really focused and like the anxiety lifted completely. But then an obsession started and it brought me right back down. Hopefully I feel relief again today. I'm going to go get some house work done to take my mind off of things. Does anyone have any first hand experiences with prozac? How long until you felt any relief? Any really bad side effects? Any unforseen pluses? Much appreciated.

Hi all, it’s been a while since I’ve posted on here but i have thankfully been getting better with my Health OCD and haven’t felt the need to come on here, however I’ve fallen back into the trap and can’t even function without panicking and worrying at the minute! I was very stressed a few weeks ago over life scenarios when I started seeing a lot of signs and symptoms of colon cancer in young people on social media, I didn’t think too much of it. However of course a few days later I start having the symptoms! Sore stomachs, constipation etc. I have been so worried, I went to my doctor and got constipation medication for a week which I took but since stopping I have the same symptoms and more and I am worried so much everyday I’ve been hyper aware of my bowel movements! I have even been trying to force myself to go when I feel like I don’t really need to which in turn has caused haemorrhoids and some blood, which has made me even more anxious!! (Note: my partner actually thinks I’m going to the bathroom a normal amount and am not even really constipated anymore but I’m convinced I am) I feel like I’m going crazy and no one seems to think my worries are rational - can OCD/ anxiety impact your bowel movements and stomach? I’ve never really had this and I’m petrified of it, I hope someone else has had this scenario before and has came out the other side (edited)

Hi everyone, I'm struggling with what I think are intrusive thoughts, possibly related to OCD, and I'm hoping someone here might relate. When I was younger, in my early teens, I went through a period where I had a strong interest in pornography. During that time, I encountered hentai involving male characters, related to an anime I enjoyed. One of the characters was someone I even looked up to. I feel incredibly uncomfortable admitting this, but I believe I engaged in sexual activity related to it. Years later, I'm plagued by intrusive thoughts about this. I feel intense self-disgust and shame. It's like this memory has "tainted" my ability to enjoy that anime, and sometimes other things. I'm constantly replaying the situation in my mind, questioning my past actions, and worrying about what it means about me. The anxiety is significantly impacting my life. Does anyone else experience intrusive thoughts focused on past events, particularly those that cause feelings of shame or disgust? How do you cope with the constant replaying and questioning? I'm looking for support and understanding. Thank you for listening.

this weekend, i went out with some friends who were staying with me from out of town and i drank too much. because of my job and mental health i very proactively limit how much i drink but i got caught up in the fun of the moment and drank past my limit. this morning, i woke up to a message from my boss about a tragedy that happened in my community this past weekend. my mind is rapidly trying to draw connections between me drinking too much and this tragedy. my ocd is trying to convince me that i caused it while i was drinking and that i just don't remember it. anyone else experience things like this? i'm trying not to seek reassurance but it's getting difficult!