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Any Christian’s with religion ocd and relationship ocd I feel so alone

hi, i have been to deal with this myself, but it’s not working, my theme is what if i’m in a simulation, like what if none of this is not real, and every time i try and get help i think” what if the simulation is trying to convince me im not in a simulation” i don’t think this is going to end.

I always wake up full of dread and fear. My anxiety is through the roof two seconds after I open my eyes. Someone on this app gave me a similar insight once I believe. But I think anxiety is just the urge to ruminate. About what? It probably doesn’t matter, as long as I can torture myself, as OCD loves. Does anyone else relate to this or agree maybe?

I started dealing with OCD when I became fixated on health issues, particularly the fear of contracting a life-threatening disease. If I experienced any kind of medical symptom, no matter how small, that even remotely hinted at something potentially fatal, it would drive me crazy, and I couldn’t stop obsessing over it. Then one day, I started having intrusive thoughts about accidentally hitting someone with my car, and I would end up driving in circles to check if I had. Eventually, I found myself overwhelmed by a flood of new obsessive thoughts and compulsions. One day, while I was at the park, a squirrel came near me, and for some reason, I felt like it attacked me. I Googled it and learned that squirrels could carry rabies, which spiraled me into a deep fear of rabies. I became consumed with the thought I received a bite from a squirrel, raccoon, or bat any time I’m in areas that trigger me. It started off only being inside then transferred to even being in my own home. This made me obsess over every physical sensation in my body, compulsively checking to make sure nothing was wrong. One compulsion that I hated the most would to be putting rubbing alcohol on me to make sure that I had no open wounds. Every day feels like I’m walking around in a fog of anxiety, constantly worrying that I won’t even make it to old age. Sometimes, it gets so overwhelming that I just want it all to end. It stresses me so bad at times to where my brain feels like I’ve been studying all day.

I come on here and I see everyone’s situation with OCD and I feel so bad for everyone dealing with this because I know like people don’t deserve this but I feel like if you guys were to know about my actual situation you guys are probably tell me I’m doing this to myself because I feel like I’m definitely the exception Here like it’s getting into a poem. I’m just like I don’t think OCD gets this realistic.

Idk my brain is like “you’re only staying with your bf so you can suppress your feelings cuz you’re too scared to be a lesbian/trans” I just want to be a bi woman leave me and my bf alone I was so happy before. Now I feel a weird anxiety in my chest and idk if it’s good anxiety. My friends and I joked about me getting married to him one day and I didn’t feel butterflies I didn’t get all teary eyed thinking about it then I got in my head “oh god am I a lesbian? Am I trans? Do I want a white dress moment?” But I think I’m not excited cuz we aren’t there yet. And I know myself. I’m gonna be anxious as all hell, ROCD or not, about this wedding going off without a hitch cuz im a perfectionist. Part of me worries that my perfectionism is me suppressing myself I’m worried I’m forcing myself to stay. I’m worried I wanna take a break. Im worried if we do take a break everything will come true cuz I can finally “express myself” but I can express myself here. But the ocd is making it feel like im not or can’t? If that makes sense? Like im worried im not fully being myself and yeah there are definitely things I don’t talk about with him (like RUPAUL’s drag race, he’s not a fan, I kinda am). It’s not out of fear of him hating me it’s just not smtjn we talk about. Idk now im worried it’s not ocd and km actually in a restrictive relationship but im not. I don’t feel a lick of anxiety around any of this tho. What does that mean.

When my boyfriend and I are apart, it honestly feels like I've lost all feelings for him. I start questioning everything, wondering if I even love him at all. Then, when we're finally together again, the memory of those earlier doubts creeps in and completely ruins the moment. I get so caught up in overthinking and analyzing my feelings that I can't even enjoy being with him. It's like I'm constantly second-guessing myself. The worst part is, sometimes later, when we're still together, I do feel the love. But then the anxiety kicks in again! I start worrying that I'm just faking it because I had those doubts earlier in the day. It's this endless cycle of questioning, doubting, and overthinking, and it's exhausting. I'm really struggling to stay present when we're together, and it feels like this constant cycle is preventing me from truly connecting with him. We have been together for three years and we love together, and I just started feeling this way about a month ago; it’s been almost every day since. One day, I randomly thought about breaking up with him. Our relationship is healthy, especially compared to my previous toxic one, where I was anxiously attached for two and a half years. My boyfriend is very supportive of me. I have talked to him about my doubts and everything I’m experiencing, and he continues to support, care for, and help me through it all. I am very grateful for that. One aspect of my current relationship that I would like to improve is our communication, but we are both willing to work on it together. I often find that my overthinking leads me to question whether I really want to try to fix things or if I’d rather just continue as we are. This creates a constant push and pull in our relationship. Has anyone else experienced something similar? Any advice on how to break this cycle and just be present in the moment? I'd love to hear from anyone who's been through something like this.

These thought make me doubt my self so much it makes me think that the thoughts are real and it’s not my ocd I just want to be my old self I didn’t think about anything I can’t looks at the same gender because then my brain tells me I like them. But I just don’t want to lose my girlfriend I love her so much she’s the one who cures my ocd when am with her I don’t think about anything

Hi, I'm 17,about to be 18. I've been struggling with these thoughts for the past 8 months. I was wondering if someone experienced ever the same because I feel im "different". BACKGROUND: (I'm not diagnosed with Ocd but seeing a local counselor) About 9 months ago I cheated on my boyfriend with this guy S (who blackmailed, manipulated and molested me). Since then when I realized that what i did was very WRONG and so I started ruminating picking apart every single interaction and telling my boyfriend, i tried to remember every single detail because otherwise I felt like i was being a fraud and hiding things to save myself, i had many crisis about it because I had also what i think was false memory ocd. My boyfriend forgave me idk how tbh I still wonder. CURRENT STRUGGLE: Months ago I was sure I didn't wanna S in any way and i was sure even when everything happened. For the past 2 months tho I've been having thoughts like " Do I love S?" "I love S" "S is hot" "Would S find me hot?" "What if I want S?" " What if I don't love my boyfriend enough?" "What if I secretly want S?" "What if I see my boyfriend as a friend only?Do I?" And I tried testing my reaction to intimate scenarios with S, I'm scared I like it i dont really wanna love S or have any secret attraction, I wish I didn't have any of this and I want to be sure of my feelings for my boyfriend because I know I wanna be with him and I see a future with him like he brings me comfort. But a part of me keeps trying to convince me otherwise. Sometimes I think I'd rather die than have these thoughts. Im so scared of not being able to control my feelings, im scared I can't resist S and its giving me anxiety and making me cry. Sometimes when i think of those secual scenarios with S or I get those thoughts my mind tells me to smile because i like it because I find it funny. It makes me doubt myself allover again Does someone experience the same thoughts? Am I alone in this? Is this ROCD?

Hello everyone trigger warning I have had relationship ocd probably since I have been with my boyfriend for over 10 years. We have a healthy relationship. But my ocd is always fixated on his flaws of being too negative, serious, taking life too seriously etc. Being miserable in my view of it sometimes. I obsess over if he is right for me or not or if in happy. At this point it's been so long it feels like I don't love him but I don't think that's true because I think I would have left by now especially with the ocd being so annoying. Anyways my neice came 1.5 years ago and I wanted a baby too. I know I wpild love motherhood albeit how stressful It could be. So we started trying. And I found out that I am pregnant yesterday and the reality kicked in. I feel so guilty trying to have a baby with someone I have doubts about. I tried to ignore these thoughts while trying to conceive but now it's so hard because it feels like I need to get an abortion or something. Idk just venting.

i’m desperate, i’m not 100% sure if this is due to ocd or anxiety or both, if i’m wrong i apologize, the past week or so i’ve only been able to sleep 3-4 hours a night, it literally doesn’t matter what time i go to sleep and my brain has me fully convinced i’m dying or i’m gonna die and it’s terrifying me, making me have more anxiety. if anyone has any advice at all, please help me.

I always want to get close to God and my ocd is always related to me thinking I'm going crazy however my ocd also sticks to religion it kinda pulls me away because I'm scared that I'll go crazy if I focus too much on one thing or do too much of one thing..so I went to the dentist and I was waiting on my boyfriend when this man that was speaking about God came and he was speaking to me and he kept saying I should give my life to God and I told him I want to do it on my timing and he kept saying no and after a while he showed me something in the daily bread and he turned to another women that was a the desk of the dentist and say something along the lines of me being a dead little girl if I dnt follow the word of God or something similar 😔now this makes me scared and it puts a lot of pressure on me because now idk what to do anymore, and I'm lowkey trying to change and get closer to God in some way

So lately I have been doing better. I’ve been generally happier and not having constant debilitating thoughts. But they’re STILL there. I’m trying not to let myself spiral but my brain is still putting these thoughts in my head and now I’m just like why??? I haven’t been anxious with them, I haven’t given them meaning so what is it then? Does it take a while to truly feel back to yourself?

Told my close friend about how I think I have harm ocd and showed a video describing her experience with it so I wouldn’t have to share mine. Told him how when I see the number 22 I get paranoid that I’ll harm someone, and he gave me advice to go to a psychiatrist then left me on read after we were having a conversation prior. I’m so scared to open up to people about it and now I don’t think I will again.

My ocd goes in roller coasters and the past 2 months the thoughts have been getting so much worse than they ever have. This week has been so difficult and it sucks because I'm missing so many good moments because I can't get out of my head. I feel constant guilt, shame, and regret. I just wish I could shut my brain off. I really thought I healed and it's so disheartening realizing I haven't yet

I use to be good at making friends but since my OCD and my mental health got bad I struggled with making friends I am know in OCD recovery and have been struggling making friends.

Hey friends, I hope you all are well. I just wanted to check in and ask people's experiences about being on medication. I have had OCD pretty much my whole life, just got recently diagnosed 4 months ago and my therapist recommended that I get on meds for it so I have a psychiatrist appointment set up. I'm a little apprehensive about getting on them, but I've realized that I do have some sort of chemical imbalance in my brain that plays a part in my OCD and anxiety. I would love to hear anyones experiences or words of encouragement. Thank you, I hope you all are well.

Hey guys. I’ve had a huge fear of schizophrenia for over three months now. What really triggers it are the mind pops and brain chatter. My thoughts are everywhere especially when it is quiet. When I’m distracted, I do not notice the thoughts, but at night and when it’s quiet they seem so loud and random and like there are 30 different conversations going on in my head. Sometimes, I even “hear” other people’s voices saying things (in my head not out loud). I have a therapist and psychiatrist that say no signs point to schizophrenia and I literally have 0 risk factors, but the brain chatter is terrifying. I started risperidone for ocd and since then I’ve had the chatter. Does anyone know if it could be linked? And more importantly has anyone else experienced this? What medicine helped you? I’m so scared

Any advice? btw I’m 14 :) I feel so useless I want to give my dog The best life I can and I want to spend lots of time with him because he’s my best friend but Its so hard because of my OCD, I feel like I’m not doing enough. I want to give him long walks everyday or even a walk but my OCD makes it hard for me to do that, I cant even go outside without holding on to someone but I still have compulsions even doing that. Its so tiring and I just want to look after him better but I cant even look after myself, I don’t eat,drink,sleep enough, and my hygine is not that good I feel so gross sometimes but I don’t know what to or how to look after myself, I dont know if anyone would tell me to give him to a better family but I can’t do that I have had my dog since he was 2 months and hes nearly 7. And life would be harder without him, I want to do everything with him since my family doesn’t care as much about him and calls him stupid but I think thats just because they can be very moody because they feel stressed, I wanted to also give my dog a healthy diet but my family acted as if that was a silly thing to do, I want to give him more attention and my OCD has had too much control over me for 3-4 years now, I was supposed to write a message asking how I can be a better best friend & owner to my dog while dealing with OCD but i Just noticed that I wrote too many “I” but this isnt all about me am I selfish? I feel like theres more to say but I can’t explain anything

Anyone have any good coping strategies when they have an ocd flare up or attack?