- Username
- issphra š«¶š»
- Date posted
- 21d ago
I just feel petrified and I donāt understand why. There arenāt even any thoughts right now. I just feel so scared.
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I just feel petrified and I donāt understand why. There arenāt even any thoughts right now. I just feel so scared.
Since I developed ocd as postpartum my ocd has mostly always targeted my kids. It started as harm and then switched to pocd. Both are equally very painful. For years I was mostly able to keep my ocd at bay but when it comes back itās so bad. I have a son and a daughter and my ocd switches back and forth from kid to kid with horrible intrusive thoughts and now even intrusive ocd dreams. With each thought I get past and start to feel relief another one pops right up. The thoughts feel so real and true even though I know itās just the ocd and not how I think or feel, the ocd always makes me doubt myself and question everything I think or do. I know other moms/dads go through this too. Please anyone who has or is going through this please tell me how you deal with this. šŖ
Advice needed please: Has anybody ever been in a situation where something traumatic or heartbreaking was happening in their life and struggled with rumination? I know there is like a normal amount that you should process something and cry it out but I donāt know that it is conducive to anything to do that on and off for hours? Wouldnāt it at a certain point be considered unhelpful rumination? And if so how does one stop? Because Iām going through something so hurtful and confusing that I donāt know how to stop thinking about it and the usual distractions donāt work for very long. And idk how important this is but it just happened today so itās very fresh which makes it even harder to not think about and āfigure outā why x, y, z happened. Goodness, Iām sorry if Iām weird or a baby
Every day my ocd makes sure thereās a new reason for me to stay trapped in my mind rather than being the mom I want to be that my kids need. Instead iām stuck in my head depressed and pushing them away. The other day I was braiding my daughterās hair like I always do and her hair is really long so when I get to the end of the braid I can see her butt in my peripheral vision and I looked down and I immediately got upset asking myself why did I look down?(the ocd has made me question everything I do now). I know itās just because I was at the end of the braid and I just looked because I was already looking in that direction. A normal person wouldnāt even think twice about it. There was no inappropriate reason behind it at all but of course my ocd latched onto the situation and said I looked down because I wanted to look at her butt. I was so upset and said to myself āI donāt understand how the ocd started an intrusive thought because she was wearing baggy pants. I could understand if she had on tight pants and her butt was more noticeableā and the only reason I said that is because usually the only time my ocd starts intrusive thoughts telling me iām looking at my daughter in a wrong way is when she has on leggings or a crop top or bathing suit ect. Now my ocd twisted what I said to mean that I like looking at her in tight pants. Nooo! Thatās not what I meant but now the ocd wonāt stop trying to make me believe that. I donāt ever look at my children in any inappropriate way. I hate this. I hate ocd and I canāt live like this anymore.
Has anyone ever just felt weird? Itās hard to explain but I just feel weird lately. I usually suffer with harm OCD and I feel like lately Iām not reacting to things I normally would. Thereās certain things that will trigger me a little but then other times (like over the last few days) itās like I feel nothing. Iāll get thoughts and because I donāt feel the physical sensation in my chest or get very emotional like I normally would itās weird to me. Does this mean Iām liking the thoughts now? Or like Iām comfortable with those actions happening? Iām so confused. Has anyone ever gone through this?
I am starting to come to grips with intrusive thoughts, reading how your brain will think of the worst thing / or make you think of something that really distresses you. BUT, Iāve got something I need to get off my chest, not looking for reassurance but just to know Iām not alone I guess? I remember one time, I saw a girl I follow on Instagram go on a marathon, and then went straight out for dinner after without showering and I had the passing thought of, gosh she must smell, even worse, she must smell down there. That has got to be the worst intrusive thought EVER, and because it affected me so much, I have the urge to think of this horrible horrible thought most times I look at people. Wondering if they smell!!!! Itās disgusting!!!! :( I donāt know if this is because I also have contamination ocd and I do obsess about feeling and being clean.
i couldn't take this anymore. maybe i'll just let ocd win this time. it's too hard to not have a clear conscience everytime i'm with my bf cuz my mind is telling me i'm unfaithful and don't deserve to be happy. i feel like i'll never get better anymore. i already told myself many times to stop attracting attention from other people especially to people i'm having false attraction to. but i did it again yesterday, right after i smiled a little extra in front of that girl i might be attracted to i could feel the massive anxiety in my chest. already decided last week that i might be actually attracted to her so it's best to fully avoid her. i avoided her with the best i could, but we're in the same classroom and i saw her in my peripheral vision looking at us (my bf and i) whispered to myself not to make any mistake i'll regret, but then i felt like i lose control and laugh a little extra. i searched micro cheating and it says there "trying to impress someone you're attracted to" and now i want to break up with my bf. the guilt is too strong. i couldn't sleep at night.
Does your ocd ever start to tell you that youāre having a psychotic break? I have such a hard time telling what are ocd thoughts and what are real thoughts as it is. But now my newest ocd thought is that Iām losing my mind. Please tell me Iām not alone in this!!
I have this same problem repeatedly where I see things online about faking OCD and people talking about how OCD isnāt just cleaning and it makes me feel like Iām faking it and itās pretty much its own theme now. I have a handwashing problem and since itās so heavily stigmatized as faking I never do it when others are watching because then I feel like Iām seeking attention. Pretty much all of my visible compulsions I do are behind closed doors or on my own and I canāt do anything about it because if I try to show somebody then Iām attention seeking and faking. If I try to talk about the fear then Iām also attention seeking because now Iām guilt tripping and seeking sympathy and therefore I shouldnāt tell anyone and I shouldnāt show anyone. Iām essentially hiding an entire mental illness because of this, the only person Iāve ever really told about my issues is my therapist, nobody else feels safe.
Hi How to deal with a fucked up narcissistic mom that caused me to have ocd ?????? I have so much anger towards her and idk how to let it out.
Whatās good times to feed your cat? And how many times? Iām getting a cat and was wondering to be safe, the cat Iām planning to get is 3-4 months old and is a female (sheās spayed) ANY cat tips is needed! I want to be the best I can be!
This should be common sense, but unfortunately I stumble down these rabbit holes and subreddits because I have a complicated health problem, and am trying to seek a similar community. I have sought out medical advice with no real conclusion and ocd anxiety makes things worse so I guess this is a form of compulsion? Iām not exactly sure anymore. Anyways, I had a strange experience last night where I had a bit of swelling and discomfort in my mouth and fingers. I took an antihistamine just in case, and the issue resolved itself. I posted in a histamine intolerance subreddit asking if anyone has experienced similar as there was no known trigger. Well, someone told me it was anaphylaxis and that I had to be more careful with what I ate. Anaphylaxis is already a trigger of mine, and although I know logically it couldnāt have been, the opinion of another person feels like confirmation. I am now afraid to eat or drink because of it. I am unsure if posting on subreddits was a compulsion now but please be careful with anything like that. It can make things so much worse.
i feel like im posting here very often bc i want answers. its a compulsion. should i delete in order for me to stop looking for reasurance
Have you ever engaged in a thought and only left you more confused?
1. Thoughts about Not Loving My Boyfriend: ā¢ āWhat if I donāt love him?ā ā¢ āI feel like Iāve lost my feelings for him.ā ā¢ āI donāt feel love the way I used to.ā 2. Fear of Changing or Being Different: ā¢ āWhat if Iāve changed and this is the real me now?ā ā¢ āWhat if Iāve grown out of the relationship?ā 3. Doubt About Attraction: ā¢ āIām not attracted to him anymore.ā ā¢ āI feel numb when I look at him.ā 4. Thoughts of Disconnection and Irritation: ā¢ āI feel irritated when he shows affection.ā ā¢ āI feel bored or disconnected when we talk.ā ā¢ āWhy do I feel like I canāt stand him sometimes?ā 5. Fear of Denial: ā¢ āWhat if Iām in denial and Iām just pretending to love him?ā ā¢ āWhat if all these thoughts are true?ā 6. Fear of Being a Bad Person: ā¢ āIām a terrible person for feeling this way.ā ā¢ āIām ruining my relationship and hurting him.ā 7. General Anxiety About the Future: ā¢ āWhat if Iāll fall for someone else in the future?ā ā¢ āWhat if Iāll never feel love again?ā 8. Intrusive Thoughts from the Past: ā¢ āI had violent thoughts about my dad.ā ā¢ āI worried I was a pedophile after seeing a video.ā Feelings Associated with These Thoughts: 1. Numbness and Emotional Disconnection: ā¢ Feeling emotionally flat or unable to access love or joy. 2. Guilt and Shame: ā¢ Feeling like a bad person or partner. 3. Hopelessness and Despair: ā¢ Feeling like things will never get better. ā¢ Believing i am stuck this way forever. 4. Irritation and Frustration: ā¢ Getting annoyed when my boyfriend shows affection. 5. Fear and Panic: ā¢ Experiencing overwhelming anxiety when questioning my feelings. 6. Sadness and Confusion: ā¢ Crying frequently, feeling lost, or not understanding why i feel this way. Compulsions I Engage In: 1. Reassurance Seeking: ā¢ Constantly asking others if everything is okay or if your feelings are normal. 2. Researching and Googling: ā¢ Searching for answers about ROCD, anxiety, and relationships online. ā¢ Checking forums like the NOCD app for reassurance. 3. Mental Checking and Analysis: ā¢ Constantly checking if i feel love, attraction, or connection. ā¢ Analyzing every interaction and emotion to see if theyāre āright.ā 4. Confessing: ā¢ Telling your boyfriend or others about your thoughts to relieve guilt or doubt. 5. Avoidance: ā¢ Pulling back from conversations or interactions with my boyfriend due to anxiety. 6. Comparing: ā¢ Comparing your current feelings to how you used to feel at the beginning of the relationship. 7. Self-Criticism: ā¢ Judging yourself harshly and believing i am a terrible person. FEELING SO REAL Iām struggling with ROCD and itās consuming me. My intrusive thoughts make me feel like I donāt love my boyfriend, that Iāve changed, or that Iām a terrible person. These thoughts make me feel numb, disconnected, and hopeless. My compulsions include constant reassurance-seeking, analyzing my feelings, researching online, and confessing my fears. Itās exhausting, and Iām desperate to feel like myself again. Does anyone relate to this? How do you cope?
Hey guys! So I struggle with OCD, especially harm, relationship and moral stuff and I am somewhat recovered now. However, my current girlfriend has started showing signs of OCD but itās abou5 something I donāt know much about so I wanted to see if anyone on here had thoughts about it. She is constantly thinking about food (when to eat it, what is healthy, what is too much, what is too little) and controls the thoughts by giving in and controlling her entire day around food. She donāt really know the feeling of being full. She never starved herself and always eats, but then she feels extremely guilty afterwards. Her thoughts do have to do a lot with her body image and not gaining weight but also not losing any either. Does this sound like ocd or an eating disorder?
Iāve been thinking for hours no stop about how I am cells and microbes and bacteria with no ME. There is no āiā Itās scary because i canāt be in my body rn. Itās not MY body. I canāt sleep either. I wish I could make this thought go away.
I am a learner driver, with about 70 hours experience with driving. Ever since I have started and up till now, I have crippling anxiety that I am not a good enough driver. With my next birthday coming around in a months time (when I can go for my driving test), I feel so inexperienced and think that I will never progress or even if I can drive on my own, I will cause a car crash. Thereās this feeling Iāve always had, that I canāt be independent and do things for myself. I always have to pre-organise everything with guidance. This includes what I wear, how my bedroom is decorated, what I eat, etc. And with driving, I feel like Iām never going to be good enough to gain the confidence I need to drive on my own. P.S, the majority of my driving has been obtained through my parents, but I am only starting lessons now (If I had the choice, I wouldāve done lessons from the beginning).
Help me! I acted on a compulsion and now I feel like want to keep doing it. Iām scared. I had been doing okay for these past two days but idk. What should I do?
its 1am and i canāt sleep :( iām rlly scared of getting dreams relating to my intrusive thoughts and iām basically refusing to let myself go to sleep out of fear š i know that if i donāt sleep my anxiety will get worse, but i am also really scared of sleeping rn. does anyone have any advice ?
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OCD doesn't have to
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