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working to conquer OCD
When you had your first false memory experience did you think it was real because you didn’t know ocd could do that or did you feel like something didn’t feel right about it and suspect it was ocd?
I genuinely have like horrible horrible thoughts that disgust me, and I need help because I know they aren’t normal, and I never would ever act on them. My parents are more then willing to put me in therapy but I’m scared to bring it up because what if they ask details, I’m also worried about talking to a therapist about it because these thoughts alone are just so shitty, I don’t want to go to like a ward or something like that. It’s genuinely concerning me because they won’t go away, and they just are there. It makes me feel disgusted and I hate it.
Im having intrusive urges to harm a family member and have not been able to think of anything else in 5 days and i feel the urge is just getting stronger.. The only time im safe from these thoughts is when im sleeping.. why are they not showing up in my dreams?
Last year my dad tested positive for Covid but I went to the movies with my brother a day or two after! I wasn’t gonna go but my brother wouldn’t stop asking so I caved in and went. I wore a mask and thought I wouldn’t get anyone sick. Even worse, I went to the supermarket afterwards! Only because it was a quick trip and I passed people quickly. I can’t remember if I wore a mask but I’m sure I did because I wore one at the movies. But don’t I belong in jail for being so careless? Or at the very least, shouldn’t I feel guilty everyday for the rest of my life? I’m a monster. I can’t live with myself.
Please share your stories! I have really bad real event, false memory and POCD. I’m struggling a lot right now feeling undeserving, feeling like everything I’ve ever done in my life was meticulously calculated. Funny thing about OCD is even if I see someone do something way worse than me, it won’t phase me unless I’d done it. For example, something minor I did that really could mean nothing, my OCD convinces me it proves my ocd right. In light of the disordered times, I’d like to ask for someone to share their ocd recovery story, maybe some tips and how they did it. It’s feeling pretty impossible for me right now. Thank you!
Im extremally scared of mens,especially boys in my age Whenever I see one Im getting disgusted and I frezze,its tiring Im scared they will think about me in a sexual way,even though there is no a single sign or reason for why they would do this After all Im trying to dress and look like something between a girl and boy Im awkward when it comes to them and I feel threaten by them,Im alwats getting mean and repulsed I just want to have a boy best friend who can show me that not mens are the same,Im literally obsessed over it and Im always trying to find the proof I feel scared when anyone ships me with a boy and Im starting to cry I only feel this sometimes though,since I started to have intrusive thoughts about it and basically my childhood I think it can be linked with how does my father act and that I was attacked by stereotypes by my whole childhood,also I was addicted to porn as a kid,especially the ones with a lot of sexual violence,and I think thats why I feel like that
Hello everyone. My name is Julia and I have very bad OCD it’s debilitating. I’m hoping this app will help me. My worse part of my OCD as of now is my fear of bugs and my fear of getting myself or my kids sick. I wash my hand about 50 times a day sometimes more and take three showers a day on most days. I am on medication and it doesn’t seem to be helping much. My arms have cuts all over them from washing my hands so much. I pray I can connect with others with OCD of any kid and maybe get coping skills. Nice to meet y’all 💗
It seems to me, that, OCD really flares up in times of idle, lonliness, boredom, etc. Perhaps its a result of lacking hobbies during down-time - too much time to just think. I'm a university student and it always seems to be the worst during the break periods like summer and winter break. I'm in a weird spot where the OCD feels normal and doesn't really bother me, but does at the same time. I don't find myself consumed by fear so much anymore, but more annoyed and frustrated at the presence of OCD thoughts. I experience religious OCD mostly, and yesterday I was less fearful and more just genuinely angry that I was having thoughts about hell and the afterlife. So it still feels like it can consume me at times, but I suppose ERP is also working in stopping the fear response. Perhaps, the anger I'm experiencing nowadays comes from being too hard on myself and impatient. I'm not sure. I'd love to know the community's thoughts on this.
Hey so I’m currently in high school and I graduate soon, but I’ve been struggling with symptoms of OCD maybe since early high school or my late middle school years. They’ve definitely gotten worse in my early high school years and I’ve caught onto them and talked to a family member about it, they said I could possibly have OCD. I pondered on it for a while and talked to my parents. They both laughed about it with each other and my father claimed my “mother had it and not me because I don’t do what she does” because she always needs things straight and in order. Ever since then I never bothered again to open up about it and kept it to myself. I’ve told a couple people since then and I got responses that didn’t do much for me, I’ve gotten “oh yeah you definitely have it I got some people around me that also do these things-“ and so on, or “oh maybe you have ADHD or-“ and then after that I didn’t say anything altogether. I don’t know what to do about diagnosis which is the main reason I got this app. I just hope there’s some more people like me out there that are struggling and can’t do much about it. No one around me gets it like I do and it’s so frustrating. It’s definitely not as bad as what I’ve seen from other people but it definitely eats at me everyday and can mess up my relationships and make me overthink my life and the environments around me. It holds me back from so many things and it’s stressful. I just need to know what I can do to stop it. Sorry for this depressing rant, I hope some of you can relate.
Hi to anyone reading this. I haven’t ever posted on here nor have I really spoken about my experiences with OCD so hopefully this will all make sense. I began developing obsessive compulsive tendencies in my last year of college, and it really started to get serious when I graduated and moved back home. I was okay for a couple of months until my symptoms started to get really serious. I was in denial and believed that I was just being ridiculous and needed to get over myself, so I never thought to ask for help. I didn’t have many friendships to begin with (most fizzled out since we all moved to different areas after college) and the one friend I did have didn’t treat me very well and would tease me about some of my symptoms, so eventually that ended as well. I looked for a job for a while but never found anything, so I didn’t get out much. I spiraled into a dark episode of ocd and depression for about two years. I never left the house unless it was necessary and became a shell of a person. I was so exhausted from just existing on a daily basis, I couldn’t fathom how anyone did more than that. I eventually realized I couldn’t get better by myself so I sought out a therapist in 2023. In January of 2024, I finally felt comfortable enough to begin taking medication which has dramatically improved my state of mind. Though I still experience some symptoms, I don’t feel suffocated by my own brain anymore- I can finally breathe. Now I’m at this point where I need and want to get back to my life again. But since I was stuck in that episode for so long, I don’t really know how. Most people my age (23) have friends and jobs, some have even started families already. I don’t know how to catch up to my peers again. I don’t know how to make friends and go out or what to do to establish a career. I feel so lost. A part of me thinks that it’s too late but I know that’s not really true. I just can’t believe how much I’ve missed, it feels like having ocd took years of my life that I was supposed to be having fun and learning and growing. I don’t know how to start living instead of just being alive. I feel like I’m starting over from scratch. Has anyone felt this way/ is going through this too? Does anyone have advice?
I was hit with a particularly disturbing thought loop this morning. I am already feeling the intense urge to compulse. I am trying to work through it, but I just wanted to come on here and empathize with everyone. This stuff is seriously hell on earth and it makes me want to cry :’(
nsfw I have a really big masturb-tion compulsion and it’s becoming a habit… and it’s starting to feel like automatic. I get the thought, or groinal response, or I hear a noise, and boom I have to masturb-te… it’s really annoying and it makes me feel so gross. i sit there for such a long time in my head trying to finish this compulsion and it’s like before it happens i feel a sense of dread like not again…here we go…it happens multiple times a day or sometimes it doesn’t happen for a while then something triggers it. it feels like I like the thoughts in the moment, then when the compulsion is done i feel gross and sad and want to disappear. I hate living like this. Does anyone have any info on this or goes through this? I feel alone
Hi, does anybody here relate to waking up every day wondering what "to do in life". I am a woman who have worked for 20 years in the same field with hidden and untreated OCD which I thought I was "handling". I didn't know what it was and was convinced that my life would be destroyed if I said the truth about the daily thoughts I was bombarded with and my paralyzed avoidance. So I just kept going until it all collapsed by it self and I was diagnosed with OCD 18 months ago. Now as I am slowly understanding more and more I suddenly realized that every day I doubt my work and if it's the right thing to do. I still have some deals where I am supposed to deliver, and despite this it feels like my professional life is like a joke, I am a joke, so I ruminate at about what to do thought-out the day and then again the day after not doing what I am suppose to do to my work. I never thought about this as part of my OCD but it suddenly occurs to me that it very well may be. Very greatful for response. Wish you a wonderful day with good recovery.
I know this is sorta reassurance but idc rn I never post in here anymore so pls someone can you comment without judgment. I feel like ocd always puts intrusive images of like sexual things of people I’ve seen in the past, and in my head things seem so vivid and real but I’m sure it’s just ocd bringing up a farmiliar image but it wouldn’t be properly detailed or anything or be exactly what I’ve seen before I think it’s just ocd trying to trick me? Can someone please just give me a tiny bit of reassurance that I wouldn’t be able to remember clearly and detailed these things I’ve seen in the past… sometimes I struggle to even picture anything properly, so how could I actually be remembering proper details? It still doesn’t mean I’m turned on by these images regardless of if it was a clear image or not, because these thoughts make me feel gross… but like if I’m trying to picture my partner and the image maybe isn’t perfect does that mean it’s still him because my intention is to think of him and I and I feel like it’s hard for me to visualise things of him in proper detail nomatter how hard I try, he tries to tell me not to worry and he doesn’t care how I imagine him as long as I’m thinking of him
I’m so scared to go on this trip with my boyfriend since i had a thought of suffocating him. i’m scared i actually want to do it and that I’ll act on it. i don’t want to go and i’m so scared of what the thought means. i don’t want to hurt him and i want to avoid the whole situation so i know that i won’t hurt him.
hey everyone. i’m not sure if this app will help me or not, but i feel the need to try anything because i can’t keep living like this. i struggle with obsessing over everything in my life. it feels like everyday my brain picks a new thing in my life to obsess over. for the past couple days ive been obsessing over my interpersonal relationships. for example; “do i like the people im with” “do i like my friends as more than just friends” “do i actually love these people or am i lying to everyone”. it’s been really messing with me and making me question my support system. i can’t stop stressing. i’m even afraid to talk about it with my therapist because i have those thoughts about her too. i’m new to my OCD diagnosis (got diagnosed last month) i was hospitalized for a week because i couldn’t function. i also obsess over my sexuality and nothing i pick for me ever feels quite right. i recently started a relationship with someone who’s trans, so maybe that’s why? does anyone else go through this? my brain tries to convince me that i do this to myself and that im making it all up. but who would want to feel this way? uggghhh
Hello everyone, this is my first post. I just wanted to write about how I am currently feeling, because I am having a hard time. Maybe someone has the same problem. I feel like, my OCD is the worst while working. I control everything many times and am always afraid to make the wrong decisions . Even after work I think a lot about work and very often get very bad anxiety. I am very insecure and need to know everything for sure before making a decision at work. I don’t even have a job, where something catastrophic could happen if I make the wrong decision, but it always feels like it. I already called in sick last week and during that time, I felt so much better. But I can’t call in sick every week. Does anyone feel the same and how do you manage this situation?
Great song by Sound Garden in honor of Chris Cornell he would have just turned 60 , RIP 🪦. The song “ The Day I Tried To Live “ very inspiring song !
Starting earlier this year - in January I had become very ill. After a few days of being bed ridden I began to have horrible nightmares and terrible thoughts. One of the thoughts stuck with me. It was like I had just unlocked a memory of hurting someone very close to me 3-4 years ago. It was different from most others as this one made me feel pain, regret and remorse as if I had just experienced that event for the first time - yet years later. I reached out to the person in my “memory” and loosely described what I was going through and asked them to try and recall the night in question. At least the night I can most closely identify these thoughts with. They told me what I had thought I had done never occurred. I thanked them for being courteous and helpful to me during that time. The following few weeks left me defeated. I felt like I was arguing my innocence to myself with one voice agreeing that I’ve gone crazy and the other saying I know what I did. I tried to work though it but it destabilized me as a person. I quit my job and moved back in with family. Since then I have learned to control the fear of whether or not this memory was something I truly did experience or if it’s a byproduct of repressed emotions I never took care of from my youth yet still today. Nearly 8 months later I still don’t have the confidence to say I didn’t do it. I’ve stopped trying to fight for my life as I feel if these events truly did occur and the other person suddenly “remembers” the best thing I can do is be prepared to take the necessary steps so that the ‘victim’s’ pain I caused may be lessened and they can receive the justice necessary. I know this may be a one of a kind post, but I’m asking to you read this with an open and curious mind. I am open to questions engaging with my experience that may help me sort this out so I know what steps I should focus on taking next in my life. Please and thank you for your time.
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OCD doesn't have to
rule your life
