A mixture of heartbreak and ocd is the worst combination to have when youāre a young adult trying to find their way through life and all I can think about is how do I just stop feeling, how can I just stop living this way, and if Iāll ever feel like my normal self again. I am a broken woman and I feel it so deep within my body that it hurts beyond repair. Everyone keeps saying give yourself time youāll heal, but I canāt do this anymore. Genuinely Iām stuck and Iām unhappy with the state of my life and myself, Iām sick of being stuck on a person who doesnāt like me, on every night out disrespects me and my family, makes me cry and feel replaceable. Worthless is another, I feel insanely worthless. Hes now with another girl and sheās pregnant. Theyāve been together 3 weeks, we broke up a month ago and stopped speaking 3 weeks ago. So the time period for everything is incredibly rushed and makes me feel even worse about myself. Nobody wants to be with me, why? I donāt even want to be with myself anymore. I have this horrendous feeling in my stomach every single day, makes me feel sick or something. And Iām just done with feeling this way. All I want is to feel better again and I donāt know where to begin. Therapy didnāt work, medication is a no, how do people do this? Iām starting to have scary thoughts about not being here anymore, and how the only way Iāll feel at peace with myself or something is to just fall asleep and never wake up. Itās stupid I know because itās only a break up, but itās not just the break up, I hate the way I thinks the way I act, the way Iām perceived by others, the constant worry everyone is talking about me, the constant nagging in my head fnag Iām useless, worthless, ugly, stupid, pathetic, psychotic, crazy, hated, laughed at, judged, perosn that nobody wants around. Itās hard and idk what I do anymore