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the NOCD Community

Anyone here struggling with RJOCD and wants to share?

Having sexual ocd intrusive thoughts has been a lifelong challenge. Becoming a married man and parent has been a tough challenge and great blessing having ocd factoring in relationships. I know we arent our thoughts but whay happens when i have those same intrusive ocd thoughts and worries pop up in my dreams. Is the same principle applicable? Its just thoughts means nothing.

hi, i have been having panic attacks for a year now, sometimes they happen more often sometimes I can calm them, but I am going to be on the road for some time now and I would appreciate it if someone has any helpful tips on how to stop a panic attack when travelling. The attacks are usually induced by physical sensations and symptoms, so it really feels like I am dying every time I have a panic attack because I usually have weird physical symptoms accompanied with them (numbness, crawling, fast heartbeat, heart palpitations, hyperventilating, nausea, tingling....)

Hi all, I’ve been in therapy with NOCD for a few months now. I thought I had an AHA moment this past week, but now of course my ocd is questioning it; I’ve learned this past week that my thoughts don’t have to mean anything AT ALL. I can be an observer of my thoughts and let them pass by. But now I’m doubting even this. I’m afraid that the only reason this is now working for me is because: if my thoughts mean nothing, than that must mean I’m NOT gay or bi. So am I attaching meaning when I tell myself there is no meaning? And if so what does that mean about the progress I thought I made? The goal of therapy is to be okay with uncertainty so now I’m afraid I’m doing it all wrong and my “feeling better” this week has been a lie cause I’m afraid I did it wrong. The “maybe” statements have never been helpful for me bc I feel they imply a meaning. And I thought the goal was to attach no meaning. The “maybe I am gay” statement is hard and doesn’t feel helpful. Can someone please help? Anyone else here in therapy and understand?

Hello all! Yesterday I went to the park with my niece and I was surrounded by kids of all ages! I had 0 intrusive thoughts and I didn’t check! I felt like a normal human being for once and I’m so proud. I have been struggling with this theme for years and I had good and bad days. When im not ruminating I feel sane and I find children interesting, cute and funny. I am feeling extremely hopeful.

Question: Is this platform for 18+, or are minors also allowed on here? I was a bit surprised to see minors on here. If anyone knows how to filter for 18+ please let me know. Perhaps I am missing something. I newly joined. or If this is more so a matter of everyone on here is supposed to be 18+ and teens are just on here, please feel free to let me know also. This is coming from a place of safety for minors on-line in general. I hope NOCD would offer a teen only space. I saw the "young adult" filter, but there are young adults and then there are minors. I've just never been in any treatment program or community that combined adults and minors, so Im just trying to understand how this platform is currently set up. Or is this just an open social media site focused on OCD? Im just confused. Any clarification appreciated!

I’m not diagnosed, I haven’t told (if you see my other posts you’ve noticed im still unsure of how to tell my mom about it because my themes are the worst) and I live in Mexico, so my insurance obviously doesn’t cover nocd, witch sucks The thing is that I, by myself started to work in my “recovery” without being sure about like really having ocd and sometimes I struggle a lot because I doubt about everything, and I picture myself doing the most horrible acts and I’m just unsure that they aren’t real, that they aren’t things that are gonna happen, have happened or are happening 😿 From 2 weeks to now I been really worried that I’m going to, in the night while being awake, go to the backyard and harm my dog :/ it’s really horrible, so every time I’m going to sleep I make sure a hundred of times that the door is closed, but sometimes my brain makes me see images of me doing that and I doubt about what if I really went out to the backyard, harm my dog, return back and just not noticing it, and I have to check again the door and check that my hands don’t smell like dog or anything weird. Ive been going to bed around 12 and sleeping around 1 or 2 am because of that. Today in the morning I woke up early and I opened my door and I saw my dog sleeping besides it (my mom who woke up earlier than me let him go inside the house) and I really didn’t care about it, but then at breakfast I started having this thoughts and this images and I went to check my hands to notice anything weird, and I found nothing, it reassured me and I started feeling happy and confident again, but when later I was doing my bed I noticed a weird spot in the blanket that I don’t remember having it before, so I freaked out thinking that I did that and I smelled it, but I think I smelled just my soapy hand so I don’t think it smelled like something else, but I was still scared that I might had done something wrong to him at night or when I encounter him first in the morning, and I promised myself that when I got back from school I’m going to inspect the spot, but now that I’m home I just have discovered that my mum changed the blankets (because it was dirty from like 2 weeks without cleaning it, it was a reasonable choice, nothing to worry about) and now I just feel really weird because i won’t get the opportunity to know the truth about if I should stop my recovery and isolate myself because Im dangerous or if I continue with my recovery and it’s all worthy I just don’t feel like i deserve my dog, and I’m afraid that I’m hurting him without me knowing or remembering and I’m scared but I still feel hope Idk dogs are my life, animals are my life and it’s horrible believing that I’m bad and I feel guilty everyday without knowing if I’m dangerous or if I just have ocd 😿 please help me

hey, so i’m diagnosed with ocd after my first so-ocd episode in 2020, it lasted about a year and a bit and then eventually faded out. i considered myself ‘cured’ after that. i met my ex boyfriend in summer 2021 and we dated for nearly 2 years although towards the end of the relationship i sort of fell out of love with him. i always felt used whenever he wanted to do something sexual with me (i struggled with an eating disorder and had incredibly low self esteem) and eventually we broke up early 2023. i found though that despite my apprehension that whenever i did any kind of sexual activity with him i felt so much closer and in love with him than when we went long periods of time without it. i was on prozac at the beginning of the relationship and then was moved onto sertraline (which im on now). ive always had ridiculously low body confidence and HATE the idea of people seeing my stomach and am convinced that people find me disgusting because im so disgusted by my body. i’ve spent a lot of time watching every other girls figure/body and wishing i looked like that which has been a big accelerant for my ocd my close friend died in august and i sort of went a bit insane, i stopped taking my meds cold turkey in january and was fine for a while (im taking them properly again now) in november of 2023 i started talking to this boy and he kind of got a grip on me, i loved talking to him, id stay up late just to talk to him even if i had to be up early, he was on my mind all the time. i started seeing him properly from january and was absolutely infatuated by him like i genuinely really cared about him which was hugely unexpected for me as usually it takes me longer to form a bond. anyways, he didn’t want a relationship which works for me because i have a lot going on in my personal life that i need to deal with but eventually the uncertainty started driving me nuts ‘am i even attracted to him?’ ‘do i want a relationship with him?’ and i felt like i wasn’t enough for him and then sort of pulled back my feelings for him because i didn’t want to hurt myself about it. so then i started questioning whether i really liked him or if i wanted to be in a relationship with him or what i wanted. i found myself stressed to be intimate because im so insecure and the past times ive had sex i just wasn’t turned on properly and so it hurt or it was awkward and i’ve been plagued with sexually intrusive thoughts (even about my family) since i was young - so sex has never really been a big cause for excitement for me it’s more associated with anxiety and discomfort. i like doing whatever with him but i get so anxious to let things escalate because im so terrified of my appearance and everything else and whether it’ll like…fit…. that i always kind of avoid it even though i would like to? anyways a few weeks ago i was away with my friend and when we were drunk i kept getting thoughts ‘am i attracted to her’ even though i knew i wasn’t (we’re very comfortable around each other so we were sharing a bed and helping each other tan etc) but i kind of tried to push these thoughts away until about a week and a half ago when it all came back in FULL swing. i was like nauseous and horribly anxious to be alone with my thoughts to the point where i called in sick to work because i got so uncomfortable with all the thoughts in my head when i was around other girls at lunch time. this was when i started taking my medication again and since then the anxiety has kind of dissipated but the thoughts haven’t gone anywhere. my brain uses the fact it’s happened before and my low sex drive as a reason to believe its suppression/denial, it’s truly exhausting. since it’s not my first time experiencing this i’m trying to avoid research and talking too much about it because i know what im like but i want to gather other people’s advice/support for this situation. i have barely any anxiety anymore but am CONSTANTLY questioning my attraction to people and living in my past situations despite trying to sit with the thoughts and avoid rumination. it feels so real and it’s terrifying. i’m supposed to be going to see the boy again and i found that while these thoughts were at their worst with anxiety all i really wanted was for him to give me a hug or to hold me, but now im super stressed about seeing him in case it confirms these thoughts or makes them worse, or if we do anything sexual and i get intrusive thoughts… all i want is for my head to leave me alone. any support or advice would be really really appreciated, im feeling so lost like i don’t know who i am. i really am trying my best to sit with the thoughts and not ruminate and expose myself to things that will trigger me but its so HARD. this is a small novel im aware, so im appreciative of anyone that read this far ❤️

No matter where I go, there's always at least one atractive male there, and I get this feeling that seems like atraction, my boddy is tense up, and feel some pain on my face, but my mind says this is a symtopm of represion rather than OCD, also every time I looked at the past to say I wasnt like this, I get memories that I always had this feelings for men, I really can't tell which parts of the memory are real and which ones are fake

hey, do you take meds? if yes, can you tell me your experiences? what do you take, how long did it take for showing effects, how is your ocd doing since? i’m thinking about taking meds, but i am so concerned about feeling worse once i stop taking them (i would also do erp therapy)

Does anyone have any success stories or tips for treating OCD without meds? There’s a meds shortage atm where I’m at and, for a lot of other reasons, I’m thinking of stopping and going the therapy route more.

I don't like myself anymore. OCD took my personality. I don't know if this is my reality. Why does it feel real?

Nsfw tw// a compulsion I struggle with is m-sturbation. when the groinal responses and thoughts get to bad I do that to gain some sense of relief. but sometimes I end up agreeing with the thoughts or think bad stuff while doing it just to “give in” and also “test myself” and finish so i can find some relief. but IMMEDIATELY afterwards is a sense of shame and regret of wtf did I just do? i guess doing this gives me a sense of control over whatever this is so i try to agree with it but the compulsion is so gross and so is the theme so why would i ever find relief. i honestly believe im a p in denial. my pocd has been acting up non stop for almost 2 and a half months. I feel like im going to cry

Hi not sure if this is ROCD. My boyfriend had a lot of money when we got together, and now he’s broke. My mind keeps telling me I’m only with him for the money even though I know that I love him. It’s thoughts like “Yah he might be broke right now but you’re only staying because you know he’ll make money again.” I wouldn’t be with a man I didn’t love money or not. I wouldn’t leave a man I love money or not. What would you call this type of OCD and how do I stop it?

I’m not sure if this is part of ocd I constantly get thoughts of people I had a thing with in the past but I’m in a relationship that I’m happy in I have rocd and when me and my bf are bad is when it’s worse I’ll be going over what I had in the past And also feel like I oversexualise them I just feel like a bad person and terrible girlfriend

i went to target with my sister, and i got into a mindset so bad i’m questioning everything right now. she was walking in front of me, and at one point i walking more in her direction, took a step towards her while having attention on her butt. i think i took the step bc i wanted to feel a groinal while thinking of her butt, but i don’t want that to be true. after, i couldn’t look at her, and i had a few moments where i genuinely felt like i wanted to do something sexual. i genuinely felt and thought that way. when we got in the car, i had a really bad moment like that, as i think i leaned in her direction while having a groinal. i started crying, but couldn’t take my focus off the road for the rest of the way home. now i’m in my car and i feel as though this is really the end. combined with every other horrid thing i feel about my family, children and animals, my life only feels like doom. it was literal hell tonight, and i never thought it would get that bad. i don’t know what to do, i feel like i should be waste

Hello my name is Aidan I am 16 years old about 4 months ago I was on a call with my friends and we were talking about life and one of my female friends told me to rate the guy she was talking to I said no cause I’m not gay and they started saying that yes your gay and made me take a gay test and I got bisexual I started getting anxiety from it and stressing I cried the first day ever sense then I have lost attraction to girls I stare at guys I get intrusive thoughts about being gay but now it just says your gay I went to a ocd doctor and I got diagnosed with OCD but she said that hocd was just a sub category of normal ocd I am very scared I don’t know what to do I have always liked girls I have had long relationships with girls too I still get erections to girls if that means anything but idk what to do someone please explain I keep doubting myself in my head and deep down it says your gay but I was never gay and I don’t know if you go from straight to gay in one day

If i was a child (12 and 13) and Ive made separate horrible mistakes that my pocd says im a p and a chomo for, should I be forgiven?? I had no idea how horrible the mistakes were when I was 12 and 13... I really truly didnt... im 22 and about to turn 23 in July...

The constant fear of harming or abusing a child has made me stay in and not want to go outside. It’s such an awful, uncomfortable fear that scares me so much. By avoiding outdoors I feel so isolated but I feel by keeping myself in I’m keeping others safe. Does anyone else ever feel like this?

Lately my ocd has shown back up big time. I’m coming close to the end of my pregnancy and my hormones typically really affect it. Currently living in the existential/ harm themes and fear of developing psychosis and going to hurt my loved ones! Questioning if things are real too which then makes me even more anxious because I think I’m slipping into psychosis! Anyone else experience this? Just not the headspace I want to be in before birth