Intrusive thoughts

I don't like myself anymore. OCD took my personality. I don't know if this is my reality. Why does it feel real?

"Pure" OCD

hellokittygirl

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 1y

i’ve been feeling the same way. i feel like i can’t trust myself or my memories and it feels so real that it’s debilitating. i hope ur taking care of urself and that u have a good support system 🫶

Anonymous

Date posted: 1y

I do but some people don't understand this. I need advice

hellokittygirl

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 1y

@Anonymous ur at the right place :) nocd is a good place to connect with people who will understand. have u tried ERP yet ?

Anonymous

Date posted: 1y

@ineedhelplolz - I have tried ERP but I haven't done it in a while. I would get help but NOCD doesn't take my insurance.

hellokittygirl

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 1y

@Anonymous there’s a lot of books that help u do ERP on ur own ! i also find that meditation and affirmations, although may seem corny, really help with big spikes. i like to say things out loud to myself like “i give myself permission to not over analyze” daily to help with the rumination and obsessing. i also learned in therapy that saying an intrusive thought out loud over and over again helps EXTREMELY, even though it feels so uncomfortable at first. being able to let urself think abt a thought and letting it pass naturally without giving into a compulsion is good practice too. u could start small and be patient when it comes to doing this bc i know how hard it can be. as for distractions i do anything i can to preoccupy my mind, even if it’s for a minute or two, by eating or watching something comfortable. it’s really important not to isolate urself too no matter how necessary it may feel. of course if u need alone time, that’s perfectly fine, but completely separating urself from people and good things in ur life always just makes it worse. u deserve to feel good abt urself and ur life! i’m sorry if i’m giving u advice you’ve already heard or tried before 😭 ocd really does try to take a chuck of urself and distort it how it wants, but u can always get urself back no matter how long it takes or how bad it gets. ocd is meant to feel real, if it didn’t, it wouldn’t have such a huge hold on so many people. but it really never is and it always loses in the end. you’re reality is not suffering and it won’t be forever. i realize this message is so long lmao but i know how it is to deal with this nasty disorder all alone and u should know there’s ways and resources to get better.

Anonymous

Date posted: 1y

@ineedhelplolz - Thank you for the advice!

Brooke cookie

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 1y

As someone who’s had OCD for a long time it feel real but if you focus you can kind of tell which thoughts are yours and which one are the OCD’s if it’s something that you are afraid of it is the ocd. Please don’t beat yourself up about your OCD or feel shame or guilt for them. It’s just thoughts you can’t help it please don’t let it ruin your self-esteem. Ocd is a fear disorder you are a good person do not let the thoughts get to you. Stay strong and work on facing your fears. I was worry at one point I would hurt my family and avoided hang out with them which caused me great depression but one day I decided to hang out with them anyway even though I was having the thoughts and even though I still struggle with OCD, I feel a lot better and have a better relationship with my family. Do not let ocd stop you from enjoying your life , you can get through this

Catlove9

Date posted: 1y

I’m in the same boat and I feel like it’s only gotten worse. Mainly because now I get that whole “not feeling in my body” experience that makes it feel like I’ve really lost it.

Godisincontrol

Date posted: 23w

OCD 'feeling real'

I suffer from religious ocd. My only goal in life is to live in God's will and to serve Him - to live and enjoy His eternal purposes & His presence. Jesus Christ is my life. That is my only desire on this earth, this short trip into eternity, and it's being stripped by ocd thoughts and intrusive thoughts 24-7. I have read many times that ocd can 'feel real', and this is true, our minds lie to us because of fear and anxiety we can't and were never meant to carry. I have begged and tormented myself in every way to find an answer from God. I think His answer may be that this is OCD, but I'm not sure. I started therapy again because I am so exhausted and this had stolen so much of my life in a spiral of negativity, depression, and constant anxiety & intrusive thoughts. I have spent about 2 years trying to figure out if my thoughts are real or not, especially with ocd it can deceive so easily as a spiritual matter when in reality it is just a thought, which is confusing and scary to say the least. Can anyone share their experiences with this sensation? No matter what the theme is... Thank you & Praying for your comfort

LizM99

Date posted: 22w

Is this something OCD does?

Whenever anyone starts to feel like their thoughts are less triggering or they feel a moment of happiness/ relief OCD tells you that you want the thoughts back or you actually like having the thoughts and maybe thats just the person I really am? I feel like im going insane😢

issphra 🫶🏻

Date posted: 21w

I feel like I am OCD

It is not the thoughts or urges that scare me anymore. It is the way I feel like I’ve absorbed the compulsions into my identity :( I am doing them so automatically that it feels like I am choosing them freely and they’re me. and because of that, it feels like I AM the OCD now, not just someone with OCD. I think I’m just deeply trapped in a loop. I was trying to survive unbearable fear so I started scanning. Then I started pre-scanning. Then checking if I pre-scanned. Then I check how I feel during all that. I run to beat my OCD to the “punchline” (intrusive thought, urge, sensation) because I’m so scared all the time. So scared that I don’t even feel it anymore. I feel numb and all that’s left is this jittery residue and numbness. Now it’s all tangled together in a huge knot. I feel so extremely lost. I think this may just be meta OCD, but I’ve never ever felt so gone before :( I’m really scared.

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