Welcome to
the NOCD Community

I get really afraid of messing up in front of people,even if it’s,talking,tripping,miss pronouncing a word especially in front of large groups.

I’ve dealt with all subtypes at some point in my life, and all are destructive and debilitating…No question there. But nothing has infuriated me personally more than my cheating OCD. Hear me out. For the rest, they were centered around ME being a bad or evil person, but I was used to that. Self-loathing at least keeps the suffering within me and me only… But this cheating OCD…Is making me distrust and doubt the best person in my life. It’s projecting my disease onto someone ELSE…It’s not fair! I prefer the cheating OCD to be ON ME, I’d prefer to fear I am the cheater than to ever suspect him!! I’ve been through it, and it was preferred to this! At least I could just hate myself, and not him!!!!! Having my OCD target and fixate on the person I love the most is the WORST.

Can anyone give any advice please IS IT POSSIBLE TO CONVINCE YOURSELF THAT YOU HAVE DONE SOMETHING THAT YOU HAVEN’T DONE? HOW CAN A THOUGHT/FEELING SEEM SO REAL IF ITS NOT REAL? When you have thoughts/think that you have done something bad in the past to someone ,but you are sure you haven’t and never would. One minute you say to yourself no I would never do such a thing and then you say what if you did as the feelings/thoughts feel so real. The thoughts/feelings sometimes are so convincing you have done something to someone but you truly believe you haven’t , you even question what if there is proof of this happening like recordings and that’s where the constant checking starts. Is this false memory or is it something else?

I live in college dorm apartment and have three other roomates. The other two that share a room have made complaints toward my roomate and I about little things like leave 1 dish in the dish rack. So at the beginning of moving in I asked if blow drying my hair in the AM was too loud they said after 7 AM was ok, so I have abided by it. They also had commented that we were “slamming doors” mind you, our doors are less than half a foot away from each other including mine and my roomates bathroom door. So I try to be as quiet as possible. Well three days ago they put as passive aggressive sticky note on my door complaining about the “door slamming” I open and close the door twice before 8 AM and they basically said limit the door slamming until 8 AM which is the dorm time of making noise. However we have classes really early and also stated in our profil that we would be waking up prior to 7 am or earlier. And I’m so confused because my roomie just acts innocent and I do all the talking. And I feel like there’s jealously and hostility coming from the other two girls, and I haven’t even done anything. I don’t play music, I wash my dishes immediately after cooking. I vacuum and clean common areas. And it does make sense to me how I can blow dry my hair at 7 AM but they’re complaining my open a door before 8 AM wakes them up but not the sound of a loud blow dryer?? So anyways I told my RA bc I’m tired of them picking on me. And we have a mediation meeting this upcoming week, and I have been having a bad ocd episode questioning myself if I’ve done something wrong or if if I’m going to get in trouble even though the hostility is coming from them. My current roomie started acting cold bc we were already kind of having distance because of some unhealthy things I saw and didn’t want to be part of. So my roomie has kinda instigated making jokes like oh that’s your best friend abt my roomates and like used to bring them up everyday yet acts innocent in front of them, and allowing me to look like the bad person for standing up for myself. Anyways the ocd is out of hand and I feel intense sadness bc I haven’t done anything and I’m paranoid that they’re going to say bad things about me at the mediation meeting and make me look bad but I doubt the person hosting our meeting would allow that behavior. Any recommendations on how to cope?

Still new to learning about my OCD. Learning relationship OCD is something I have lived with from a very young age. I am also finding my triggers are more so now that I have adult problems (real life issues), financials, kids, marriage, all the adulting crap lol. My first question I guess would be has anyone ever found, if their obsessions were getting more prominent in life, did you find you were experiencing more compulsions than normal and new compulsions? I feel like I need my home tidy and clean to help keep my head clean of one of my many mom chores so I can focus on other things. If that made any sense. Also, does anyone find help and a little mental peace (especially with a toddler and 11 year old also with adhd and NVLD) using “plant medicine” 🍃? Is that the wrong direction?

My ROCD has been hyperfocused on why my sex life with my husband has been a lot less frequent. Thinking he’s lying, thinking I’m not good enough, etc. I started getting triggered by romantic scenes in movies and books, they make me really sad and want to stop watching.

Me again. I seem to be having more issues lately. Last night laying in bed watching a movie and I get anxiety bad out of nowhere. As if I didn’t already have anxiety it became worse. I made myself go to bed to feel better. Woke up this morning and am still obsessing on the why! What caused me to go from stable and okay to feeling terrible?

When i was younger in my twenties especially i did some things i really feel guilty of.. I have false memories of things but some things i think happened and they go against my values... I cant stop feeling guilty and thinking im a bad person.. I wish i could turn back time but i cant... I ruminate all the time and i get trigered by a Million things...

Guys, I am really stressed rn. My psychiatrist is telling me that OCD is just a spectrum or something like that. My therapist has diagnosed me with OCD. I am scared that I don’t have OCD. Did someone go through something like this?

I’m getting married in November to the love of my life. I’ve been with him for over 5 years and I’m so excited but I’ve struggle sexual identity over the past and now with the wedding coming up, my intrusive thoughts and the constant theme of identity keep showing up in my head. From what I wear to how I act, I can’t just enjoy being myself. I know who I am but anytime my SOOCD comes up, it just wipes my identity completely out. I’m trying to ignore it and tell myself I don’t need to label myself as anything but I’m having constant intrusive dreams lately and it’s messing with my daily life

Does anyone ever feel like they are “reaching” for the thoughts almost to check it shows up? It makes it feel like it’s intentional but if is very much not because I believe the content of the thought, rather it is almost a sick need to have the thought even though I don’t want the thought. Does that make any sense?

I’m feeling anxious right now my roommate and I were watching a disturbing show and now I want to punish myself for it. My heart is racing

Anyone struggling with intrusive thoughts that only seem to pass when faced with evidence? I had people knock at my front door to hand out leaflets. After looking back at my ring doorbell and the video cutting out after a while I realised the video didn’t pick up on them leaving. I now have intrusive thoughts of what if I did something and now I have no proof of it. Anyone else have this?😭

Ever since the pandemic I have had this fear of germs. However this fear then turned into being scared of sperm. Germs were not the problem anymore. For the past two years I have been battling with my mind trying to convince myself that it’s impossible to get pregnant from surfaces, from the toilet, from chairs in public. I have this irrational fear that I might somehow get sperm on me and then that will somehow get onto my underwear and then I get pregnant which Ofcourse will be a cryptic pregnancy, so I won’t know until I am actually giving birth. Unfortunately, I have these thoughts about every male I come into contact with, whether that is brushing up against them on the bus, or the train or them being the cashier at the supermarket. I can spend hours cleaning my phone and my glasses just in case. However when I’m actually having intercourse, the fear of getting pregnant doesn’t even cross my mind and doesn’t worry me even a little bit as I’m on contraception. But what worries me is if I touch a door handle which was dirty with sperm and then getting pregnant by a complete stranger. Does anyone else have this type of OCD?

Does anyone else suffering with false memory ocd give yourself ultimatums? For example if I have a horrific intrusive thought I’ll try so hard to debunk it by trying to think of random facts like what colour top the person was wearing , I’ll say blue. Then I’ll look back on old pictures and if the person was in a top was blue I’ll just label myself as guilty? Does that even make any logical sense?! I’m literally just randomly guessing , how do I stop this😭

Sorry in advance for the long post. I had a conversation with my mother a while ago, where she was trying to help me with something that could either be false memory or real event (at the time I thought it was completely real and didn’t want to even think about the possibility of it not being real because “that would be cheating and would make me a horrible person” but in hindsight there is a possibility it’s false) and anyways, that wasn’t the point. I was talking to my mom, and she made a comparison to a character I really loved, by saying “well this character probably does cuz’ and you still really like him” which made me spiral even further because that character would never ever do what she said and I didn’t want to think about that character doing that, and what she gave an example of was way worse than what might’ve happened with me. But I got over it. (My mother ended up telling me that, no, she doesn’t believe that character would actually do that, she was just trying to make me feel better/ find something to relate to or hold on to) but now I’m obsessing over the fact that her example was worse than my memory, and the fact that she thought that would make me feel better. The current thoughts are “does she really think I’m that level of scum?” And “if she thinks that you are equal to that character doing THAT, then what you might’ve done is just as bad”. And I really don’t know what to do because on some level I think I agree a tiny bit.

Guys please help. Did anyone of you find a way to break the sleep obsession cycle? For my whole life I was able to fall asleep in 10-20 minutes. Had one sleepless night few days ago due to being excited yet scared for a special day. Since then I have this fuck up in my head that even though I'm tired as hell I cannot fall asleep because I'm still checking it. It's like don't think of a pink elephant. I am naturally not the type that would have difficulties with sleep. It's because this obsession. I know my thoughts cannot just disappear so I have to find a way to work with it somehow. Any help appreciated. Thank you very much.

My partner was high and so was I and he just said “is this real like is this really real” and my theme right now is I’m convinced I’m in a dream or not real and this is a false reality or something, I had therapy early today and that helped so much and then I was feeling hopeful that i was gonna get better and the theme was going away and then he said that and I’m spiraling, please help

Hey everyone, I’m not sure if this is super OCD related, but I figured I’d post just to maybe feel less alone. I’m always worried in the back of my mind that I might have cancer, and it’s not for nothing, I have had two types of cancer before I was 10 years old. The fear doesn’t take over my life, but it’s definitely there. I recently got sent to check a large lump that appeared on my thyroid, and all diagnostics coming back so far are ruling out the easy non-cancer options. I’m worried, it’s not an unfounded worry, but it’s starting to interfere with my life in a way that feels like OCD. I’m scared, and if I’m completely honest, I’m extremely sad. The last thing I want to do is get life changing bad news in the middle of an OCD spiral. Anyway, thank you for reading, I think I just needed to get that off my chest ❤️‍🩹

Ever since my terrible ocd started since march 2020 (i was 16, almost 17.), school was very hard to do. i was still at 9th and 10th grade level. i eventually dropped out in 2021 (i was 18.) My Life had been wasted for 4 years, i feel like a failure. im 20 now, and still unwell to do school. the ocd is so bad that i lose connection with reality, it makes my bipolar worse, and i just feel like im losing my mind with the constant anxiety and depression and manic and everything. I feel like a failure. I look at my friends who are successful and on the way to graduating or already in college in university, and im sitting here feeling like a horrible failure. im a failure. i didnt ask for this ocd to happen, i wish it never happened, i just wanted to be successful and graduate and start college, but i cant do that anymore. Why me? why is everyone else lucky to not suffer from such debilitating mental illness? why me? now im just a failure with no life and fully reliant on my parents for money, food, shelter, etc. i tried so hard to go back to school, to try to work, but it was too unbearable. if i never got this ocd, i know i would have graduated and been successful and head straight to college. 4 years of my life wasted. and more years to come.