Welcome to
the NOCD Community

My boyfriend and I got in a disagreement that triggered me to start having bad thoughts again and obviously couples argue. But in my head it's like " no couple should argue. Maybe it's not right" On top of that he's taking a trip back home for a week. & I keep thinking “ that’s too long. When he comes back you won’t like him anymore “

:( I’ve been having really loud thoughts in my head that almost feel like voices but I can’t tell if their intrusive thoughts or voices im really scared I don’t want my life to be over

What was it like when you got to know what you’re experiencing is OCD? especially those of us who thought OCD was just about excessive organisation or contamination? i specifically remember reading about different mental illnesses out of curiosity when i was 12 and reading about ocd, my reaction was “hm sounds weird i definitely don’t have it” and i moved on. When i was 15, and I googled about my intrusive thoughts and it showed me what i’m experiencing is ocd i was so shocked? *this* is ocd? I was so astound.

Hey everyone, How has your week been ? Is there anything you have achieved and feel proud to share ? Also, if you haven’t achieved something you was wanting, let’s hear about it also so we can all support you. With another weekend fast upon us, I realised how poor I’ve been with self care in recent weeks! The quote “you can’t poor from an empty cup” is so true and made me realised how important it is to take even 5 minutes out every now and then to recharge and connect with your self. It can be super hard to do this when battling with OCD I understand completely but it’s also super important we try as we are all worth it and use a lot of energy when anxious with OCD. I can remember when I was really struggling at the start of my journey, I would try to doodle as I loved this, it helped and allowed me to also reflect how strong I can be and have been before as well as taking some time out. Your all worth it, important, kind and amazing. Take some time out this weekend for yourselves. 🙂

I haven’t been sleeping most recently and this triggers my dissociation and like five minutes ago I went downstairs to make water and I hear somebody outside and there’s this guy just on his phone talking in my brain made up a whole bunch of bad thoughts like he was gonna steal my dog that was out there and stuff like that so I came upstairs and got dressed and try to go out there and the guy was an out there anymore and I convince me I was schizophrenic and I’ve never been so terrified I feel so bad right now , nothing feels real I’m crying in my bed alone

I think that’s what it is .. I’ve been through a lot with relationships .. I’ve never had good luck with them .. after taking two years off of dating and not wanting to date except hook up or have fun i meet a woman who wanted the same ..well we happened to like eachother alot and get into a relationship.. she ends up being amazing and super supportive of my and mental issues. One moment I’m secure and confident and then the next after three months together start my normal ocd process of questioning if I wanna be here if she’s the one if I love her or if there’s someone else .. it’s really annoying even though I know I really don’t wanna leave but I still obsess about it.. we’ll now I’m in the headspace of doubting she loves me or maybe she’s tired of me already even though nothing different has changed .. I don’t want reassurance and to nag about if she loves me .. when I thought about this stuff a couple weeks ago I asked and she told me flat out she loves and cares about me and thinks I’m amazing .. that thought of wondering if she loves me then turned around again to me thinking what if I don’t love her or wanna be here ? Lmfao is that relationship ocd or am I just really damaged .

I’ve now been experiencing ocd symptoms for 3 months and they have slowly gotten less grip on my life. Is it bad for my ocd if I smoke weed, I’ve noticed it almost gets rid of my symptoms after I smoke it. I only smoke it on the weekends to wind down after a stressful week and to give me a break from the ocd stress. But was just wondering if this will effect my recovery?

Hi everyone, I just have a quick question. Can intrusive thoughts latch onto actual people. I notice when I don’t engage in my usual themed obsessions I get new on (with the same theme) but different people. It’s out of the blue too, and that’s why I think I react so much. How can I respond to these thoughts?

I am currently talking to a girl, and her friend set me up with her. I feel like a genuine attraction to her, but the problem is I haven't met her in person. I am meeting her tomorrow, and I am very nervous. Like what if I'm leading her on? What if I don't want to date her? I don't wanna lead her on. I've only seen pictures, and she is very beautiful, but it's like what if I don't find her attractive in person? Idk. And on top of that, my HOCD is bothering me constantly. And then I feel bad for thinking other girls are pretty, because even though we are just talking, I feel like my connection with her is like a boyfriend, and I feel like looking at other women is wrong. She's an amazing person, and I just don't wanna hurt her or lead her on. It's so frustrating because I don't know how I actually feel about her. I also tend to move fast, and I don't wanna scare her away. She is just so sweet and amazing, and beautiful, and I just feel like I am leading her on. I really don't want to. Idk. I'm not sure if it's just because I'm nervous about meeting her or what, but I'm scared.

Putting a TW here because this has distressing themes. A while ago there was an event (false memory/harm/pedophilic obsessions) where I was changing a diaper of a kid at work and I was upset because he was misbehaving a lot. I don’t even remember what happened but I just have general fears about if I wanted to hurt him or if I did hurt him in a sexual way. I have not felt joy in 2 months after this. But I don’t even know if anything happened, it’s just the possibility that it did even. And I haven’t been able to live my life with any happiness in so long. I don’t even necessarily know if I should call it traumatic because I don’t want to give reality to the idea that something could have happened if it didn’t. Like can something be traumatic if something didn’t even happen? And I’ve spent these last 2 months trying to figure things out and see if I can feel joy again. But I really feel stuck and scared that there’s not a lot of hope here. Any help is really appreciated, thank you❤️

Sorry I’ve been asking non stop questions this week. Sometimes I can’t explain it just something in my body will tell me this is all real and I can’t really tell you what I mean because even I don’t know. I sometimes won’t even have an intrusive thought sometimes I can just wake up and feel as if this has all been true. Can someone help me with this or give some advice because this is the part of it all that kills me

I tried to get better but still have intrusive thoughts, which feel real. But I'm not more anxious than before but get a little panicked. My brain feels like "normal". Idk what to do

hi all, i’ve been putting off starting the Zoloft i was prescribed, i’ve never been a medication person. i’m terrified of the side effects. i have a concert on the 13th of this month, do you think i’ll still be experiencing negative side effects if i start taking the meds now? i really want to enjoy the concert and starting the meds now makes me nervous🥺 can some give me some advice

Today I read a mother write in a Reddit post that she was not maternal. She seemed accepting of it. For me personally that’s not what I want, as I’m a mother to a little girl, and now I can’t stop obsessing over the fact that maybe I’m not maternal? A thought I never had until I read this. I do this all the time with things I read. I’ll read something someone has that I never thought I had before or ever identified with and I’ll obsess over if I have the same thing/trait. I can’t stop looking up examples of maternal women and seeing if I fit them.

It just feels like my OCD is trying to make everything into intrusive thoughts, or else hard-focusing on anything it can use as a trigger and trick me into creating intrusive thoughts. I've tried "surrendering" and ERP, but I feel like I'm doing something wrong because it just makes my OCD fight harder. I can't feel happy anymore because I'm afraid of being happy about the wrong thing (i.e., my intrusive thoughts) and--worst of all--I am afraid that I'm actually going to act on my intrusive thoughts just to see if it will make me feel better. It's to the point where I fear that my intrusive thoughts are the real "me" even though this was never a problem growing up. I don't want to end up in the hospital psych ward again (did that once), but I just don't know what else I can do. Sorry for the lengthy post, but sometimes I just feel like I need to vent to a third party.

I'm so sick of this constant fear about losing my mind... Never happened, probably never will... But fear is always there...

It’s so sad that they really say OCD attaches to ANY and EVERYTHING! My OCD been up and down for the past months but I can truly say I’ve been getting better. It’s been really tripping me out lately My OCD is been trying to latch on to my mom (my world).. it all started with her asking me one night is something on my face (it was dark).. I remember not seeing anything but her face looked weird and it was mostly cause it was dark but this opened a new door. OCD kept telling me YES she does look weird Yes she does look kinda evil. I try to let the thought sit there with me but it’s annoying because it’s my mom and now my OCD try to make me nitpick what’s wrong with her face.. When the thoughts are not there and I feel normal but HERE comes OCD saying oh you are purposely not looking at her enough or long enough that’s why you are not having these thoughts. This is the only place I can say it out loud, hope I don’t trigger anyone 😢

OCD occupies such a big part of our lives, it has occupied mine for years. I will be starting medication and therapy soon and i have a million separate fears for that but I have a question. OCD is a part of me and i know a lot people like using analogies like it’s a demon, a bully but I feel weird doing that. I want to be kinder since it’s a part of me? I don’t know, when i see it as something bigger/other than myself, I get scared of it, when i see it as a part of me, I get compassionate. I’ve hated myself for as long as I could remember, my life was getting worse from all directions before i had a panic attack and started to dissociate and ocd flared up again and sure it’s been hell, but it brought closer to myself in a way that I find it difficult to dislike me anymore and I know that’s a wonderful thing but i’m having all sorts of doubts. I’ve lived my life as always overanalysing myself and my worries, it is so natural to me, when i think about getting better, and even the term “acceptance” my brain tells me it’s not who i’m meant to be, i’d be cheating, and meds would be me altering what my brain is meant to be like. Then i genuinely get concerned what if after treatment i’m not able to recognise myself anymore? what if i lose my spark? what if i lose what makes me me. I don’t think these are intrusive thoughts but general worries anybody before treatment might have. I feel so closer and happy with who i am lately, that it feels like i’ll be letting “myself” go if i get better? I’ll be letting go of all the coping mechanisms, even if they are unhealthy go. I know it sounds like such a weird concern since i’ve always wanted to grow as a person and let go of my unhealthy thought processes, but now that i do get to do that, it feels like what would still be there if not this? It feels like i’ve started to love myself too much to the point that i’m desperately trying to hold onto to things that are hurting me because they’re still me. maybe i’m not ready to let go of all the things that are unhealthy for me and this barely applies to ocd. It makes me scared thinking if i stay the same & wanting to get better feels good but what if i turn into somebody else? like what if i heal and i’m just not me anymore? I’ve also always struggled with identity issues & not having a strong sense of self and now that i do, it feels like dissociation is what has brought me closer to myself. I don’t want to go back to being the person i was, who was always masking herself for other people, trying to desperately fit in, chronically hated herself, had no self confidence. But being the opposite of these things not only feel physically impossible but just so out of the blue. and I don’t think it’s ocd making me feel this way, well it could be but not entirely. and let’s say it is entirely ocd, so all the love i’ve been feeling for myself is false since it would be “ocd”, you know? that it’s just making me feel closer to myself so i never change. Don’t get me wrong i do wanna change but just all the worries attached to it are making me feel so just, i can’t even worr it, weird & sad? what do u all say?

I have a healthy relationship with a lovely guy and about a month ago I got the random thought of “what if I don’t love him?” Ever since I have been ruminating and checking and I feel as though I can’t tell the difference between the truth or ROCD. It feels like it’s coming to be the truth now and I’m pushing him away, and he’s upset that I don’t know how I feel. I don’t want to break up but I feel so unfair to him and I hate that I don’t even know what I feel anymore. Any advice?