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Hello there! I'm new here can y'all share success stories of harm OCD? It could be from podcast or blogs Thank you so much and I wish you a speedy recovery and inner peace.

Hey everyone, I’ve been dealing with OCD for the past 2 and a half years, and I’ve gone through different types, with the most prevalent being Harm ocd. I couldn’t figure out what was happening to me for 2 years. Day in and day out it was complete suffering. But then I read online about harm ocd and it matched what I was going through and it helped me so much to at least understand what’s happening to me. After going to a psychiatrist I was diagnosed with depression, and bipolar. But I then went to a different country and another psychiatrist told me that that’s an incorrect diagnosis and told me that I do have ocd. I started taking Prozac which really helped me a lot to deal with the constant stream of thoughts. Long story short, I was able to deal with harm ocd by exposing myself to numerous triggers and just trying not to react to the thoughts at all. The only problem is I now have had attacks connected with Sexual orientation ocd and Relationship ocd. I met this girl whom I love with all my heart but just a couple of days ago when we were together I started having intrusive thoughts about whether I love her and whether I find her attractive and it scares the shit out of me. I know how beautiful she is, both physically and emotionally but these thoughts keep intruding when we are together. Especially scary are the thoughts about not being to see her as sexually attractive. I am now back on Prozac and I would love to hear some recommendations on how to deal with these thoughts, especially those connected with sex, and how to not let them bother. I am not financially able to pay for both psychiatrist and a therapist so would love to hear some insights from people who have dealt with this. I know I can beat it and have a good healthy relationship and life.

it’s been 3 years going on 4 and it’s terrible im wondering at this point will i ever be cured

I love my mom and dad I like music and I like my friends but I hate my life I exaggerate about how my mom doesn’t let me go anywhere but I go everywhere anywhere I go there’s my mom except for school which is where I can be myself cause if she knew how I acted at school ….yeah. All I want is therapy lessons for Christmas I literally can't come home one more time just to sit in my closet balling my eyes out and venting in my notes every time I just need someone to sit there and listen to me talk on and on about my life and my mental health someone who will hold 50 percent of my secrets and thoughts while I keep the other 50 I literally can't go home and just get yelled at and think about burning down the whole neighborhood and having 3 overly annoying siblings are not making it better I barely see my dad and he lives in the same house as me how is that possible yeah but as I was saying I wanna be able to say this all to a person without them interrupting me and asking why I'm still messing with them but yeah I need a therapist. With my mom, I have to always try to not talk about school-related because she will bring up my grades in 1.1 seconds, so I can’t really talk to her about anything, with my dad it’s like he think I’m a disappointment or a disgrace the only time we talk is when he’s yelling or talking about how I need to concentrate more. I really don’t care about what my granny thinks but she always talking about how we’re lazy and things like that but she’s always complaining telling us what to do and everything and she lies so much she abuses us and she lies about it to my and my mom always tells us to stay in our place instead of telling her stop hitting us.with my grandma I always have to be perfect I feel bad for children who don’t have anything but while I do I wanna make the best of it I wanna go see my friends at a park or somewhere else close to our house but no I can’t and yeah I know why but I wanna live my life to the fullest and yea I wanna own a Nike tech like other kids but I can’t have that I get it but there’s things I can do for free like get one ear piercing but I’m too young I get that braces aren’t a reward but I need them and I need my teeth whiten I got talked about my teeth I got insecure so I smiled like this ->🙂instead of this->😁I’m insecure of a lot of things I can’t control I losing my friends because I can’t go out and play with my friends because my mom doesn’t know them but won’t take a chance and get to know them, but I know one thing I don’t wanna live like this anymore I’m almost 12 I had my first panic attack I couldn’t really breathe I was shaking I kept crying and I couldn’t stop I went and slept with my mom that night I didn’t tell anyone about it I want to get thinks done but I can’t maybe this can help me maturing has made me see that Kanye west music is really enjoyable and understanding the only thing that has surprised my all this year is that my eyes aren’t red and puffy from crying like always.12/07/22 update. So this update is about my brother Louis who is 10 years old and still weighs 220 or sum like that he’s annoying and he’s always eating if he’s not doing that he’s somewhere on a game cussing at the air he watches anime and he’s cringe and you can look at him and cringe But he thinks he’s the favorite child and he’s clinging as glue to my mom he always looks weird like he’s clothes are too big or too small and the worse part is he has anger issues if I had to describe him I would say he’s a lazy pig who eats all day and cry’s and yells much.I’ve made it to 2023 🙂.. update I wanna cry so I was in the phone with this one guy from my school and I just wanted to go to bed he said 5 more minutes I said okay it was longer than that but I felt bad so I stayed I was turned towards my phone and I had my other phone I turned it and I saw his you know and I wanted to cry it was embarrassing and I want to die I wanted to kill him I didn’t want to experience that I wanted to hang up so bad I want to avoid him at all costs.how come Chole is so perfect why I can’t I have small feet like her and her fingers are much smaller than mine why can’t I be spoiled like her why can’t I have a relationship like hers why is she so perfect why do I have to be so ugly she’s so beautiful her hair so perfect she has perfect edges she comfortable around all her friends while I’m awkward around almost everybody, everybody loves her even the people who don’t like her they envy her I want to have her body I don’t want to be fat I want to be skinny I want to be perfect like Chole. why do I get yelled at today was okay I was tired I think I have sleep insomnia or I’m not sleepy at night I fall asleep in miss kings class but it’s so funny with Chloe shes my best friend and she may not know it but I love her and Madison. why do I have to be so annoying I hate myself when my friends tell me to shut up or be quiet or your irritated just be quiet I usually mute or just be quiet so they can ask what’s wrong and I can just say “ you literally just told me to stop talking so I’m gonna be quiet because every time I say something a argument starts” but I get it I hate myself too.Update my mom told us a while ago that she has been diagnosed with cancer and all her appointments are on Wednesday and she gets really sick and tired so I try to listen to her and do things for her but it’s so frustrating she asked me why I get a attitude and storm off to my room it’s because cause I don’t want to talk back and be disrespectful .

i’m going to try to discuss my intrusive thoughts and feelings with her, but i’m afraid that she won’t understand since she’s not an OCD specialist. i’m scared that if i’m truthful, she have to report me or something. any advice??

I’ve been struggling so much this month. I’m over it. I don’t care anymore. Ocd is affecting my life, my happiness, my relationship, my family, I’m trying so hard to overcome and deal with it better but I’m seriously done. I can’t do this anymore. My false memories are killing me inside.

Has anyone ever received ketamine infusions to help with ocd?

hi everyone! how do you folks handle showering/being in new places/not knowing how clean something is? i really struggle with trying to focus on something when i am unsure if it is clean because i end up obsessing on it and trying to fix it.

Does it actually get worse when you first start doing exposures? My intrusive thoughts have gotten so much worse, it’s been 3 days since I started but my anxiety has gotten worse.

Does anyone else try to convince themselves they sexually assaulted someone or convince themselves someone sexually assaulted them? I feel so alone and have gotten to the point of suicidal because of these thoughts. I would love to know if anyone else feels this way. I’ve gotten a lot better with this but have not met anyone who thinks this way so it’s isolating.

I’ve struggled with health anxiety for about 11 years, and it’s been horrible the last 3 years. Health related stuff wasn’t my first theme though. It started out with contamination OCD and magical thinking, and then I was diagnosed in 2015 after being hospitalized. Throughout the last 5 years or so, I’ve been hospitalized a few times for debilitating health anxiety OCD, been on countless meds and struggled to find an OCD specialist. I just want this nightmare to be over. I’ve been convinced of having breast cancer, lymphoma, bladder cancer, brain tumors, ovarian cancer, skin cancer, cervical cancer, and many other health issues. I’ve been to the doctors multiple times, I’ve demanded tests, I’ve compulsively gone to the ER and urgent care to “check” for reassurance, I’ve been convinced that doctors aren’t looking good enough or are lying to me. I do a lot of body scanning, and reading and rereading doctors note for reassurance. I also call the doctors office a lot. Again, I just need this to end but I don’t know what to do because I am so burned out.

Is anyone on lexapro?

Hey, y’all, I’m Lily and i’ve been in a relationship with a wonderful boy for ten months so far. He’s kind, funny, smart, attractive, and everything I could want in a guy. My anxiety really started a few (maybe two) months into the relationship and its only gotten worse. We went long distance for four months as I was at a school out of state, but I soon transferred back for personal and safety reasons. He’s always been so understanding of my anxiety, and I know he loves me. I know I love him too, so why does my head convince me otherwise? In the past, I’ve only ever dated people for maybe 3-4 months before breaking up with them. I think it’s a defense mechanism, seeing how I grew up surrounded by bad examples of romantic relationships. I’m also really scared of failure, and I know my anxiety is triggered by other people suggesting things about our relationship. This is the first relationship i’ve ever had with someone who truly loves me, and someone I believe I truly love back. This is the first relationship in which i’ve felt motivated to recover from this anxiety, which I only realized was an actual medical thing a year or so ago. My brain causes me so much stress sometimes that i seriously consider breaking up with him at times, not because I don’t love him or because anything is wrong between us, but because I want to run away again. The only way I feel safe or not anxious, at least for a week or so, is if I run away or hurt someone else first. My brain also questions me. My anxiety asks me if he’s really the one, if i’m really attracted to him, if i really love him that much if i’m willing to look at different colleges to transfer to. My anxiety tells me i’m awful for finding other people attractive. At its worst, my anxiety urges me to cheat on him. Im opposed to all of these suggestions, and I love him deeply, but when I do get upset with him, I wonder whether the thoughts are actually me or the anxiety. Does anyone know how to distinguish these thoughts? I really love my bf and want to get better for him.

My OCD is making me feel like I have another identity in my head and I hate it. It’s like who I was in the past is slowly deteriorating and this new person with new thoughts is taking over and it’s so frightening I just want to die I can’t handle this anymore

Thoughts of not really being there or present when he initiates sex. Going from finding him attractive one day or only noticing his flaws and seeing him as at or below average other days. Going on reddit and seeing people saying you should break up with your partner because they deserve to be with someone they know desires them. Today my theme has switched 6 times over and I feel like I'm dying and wish I could be happy again. Confessing is a compulsion and I can't do it but I hate to think if he knew my doubts he'd leave and I'm lying. And then I'm scared because I know I've had body dysmorphia before and it could be transferring to him and I wish I could just be fucking normal like anyone else out there. I feel like I'm dying and I know accepting these thoughts and fears is the way but they feel devastating right now and I can't stop crying. Frankly it doesn't feel like it's gonna get better right now

My partner and I continuously get into the same argument and challenge in discussion. I struggle so much with repair because I don’t feel like I can truthfully say I WANT the relationship. The doubt about the future feels like something I have to express. Always and forever. Otherwise I’m lying if I say I WANT to actually be in the relationship with this person. And then I run myself ragged in an “I don’t know” if I want this or not mindset. Maybe she’s just manipulating me. And once I give in she’ll have full control because she can just tell me that it’s my fucked up thoughts and then I’ll be extremely ticked up in relationship like my parents. And I should just get out now so I can ensure that we don’t become like my parents because we both come from broken families. And why am I still attracted to and curious about other women if supposedly I love this person. Do I live this person? Do I actually want to build a life with her?!? Or have I just people pleased my way into this relationship because I’m not strong enough to say No and actually set healthy boundaries. WTF!?!? is the truth?! Where is reality!?! What thoughts and observations can I trust!? Is everything in my brain just fucked for the rest of eternity?!? FUCKKKK!!! Please share if you have had any similar experiences. And please ask any questions you would feel like would be helpful and clarifying. Feeling extremely hopeless, tired, overwhelmed, guilty, ashamed etc. I have compulsively left my partner both emotionally and physically so many times it is hard to count over the past year. Do I actually want to be with her!? I have no idea. Sometimes we have a really good time together. Other times all I can focus on are her flaws and the idea that she’s just going to leave me one day for another man… Any support it greatly appreciated! 🙏

this is not OCD related but I am deeply struggling with this situation right now and could really use some insight 😣 My parents, especially my mom, detest my bf of 4 years that I am living with. They have met him no more than maybe 3 or 4 times in our 4 years. My bf grew up poor. He is puerto rican and not jewish (my family is) and he really struggles with this feeling of being rejected due to his background. He hurts. They isolate him from family events putting me in a really uncomfortable position all the time. My mom speaks negatively about him to me, despite the countless boundaries I have set with her. Of course, their behavior breaks my heart for my bf and it angers me that they put me through this, but I do want to see my family. I love them and miss them (we live about a 5 hour drive away) and I don’t want to regret not spending time with them when it’s too late. Another piece is that I am moving at the end of the month, my mom texted me at basically 3am this morning “please don’t move and come live back home with kylie (my best friend) I feel like I’m never gonna see you again if you move.” The guilt from either side is overwhelming and I feel like I’m squishing between two walls. has anybody else gone through something similar/ have any advice? Thanks 💗

I know everyones answer would be "then dont listen it" but thats the problem, i like punk and rock, i grow up listening alot of rock and punk music too, but 5 years ago when my grandpa died i started to listen rock again. Expecially Linking park. That was the time when Chester(the lead singer) died too. And i realized that it makes me sad but it was a coping so i went with it. But then i started to listen metal too cause the screams gave me adrenalin which i enjoyed but after some time it started to make me depressed and give me depressing scary thoughts. I started to see myself like Chester and there was in my mind that i will die like him(suicide),it wasnt intentional, it was an intrusive thought but back then i thought im becoming suicidal. So i stopped listening that. Even rock. Now after 5 years i got into punk rock again and just about a week ago i just started to feel depressed while i was listening, i wondered why, then i started to think about Chester again, the past struggles, that i will end up like him,and i cant enjoy punk rock either... Im angry cause i would like to but im even afraid to get over it cause then maybe i will go back again listening Linking Park and i become agressive and depressed again...

Feeling like the way I dress, the way I look, the way I put my hair, the way I walk is all masculine qualities about myself. Therefore I must be gay. I really hate this theme. I would like to hear successful stories of those who struggled with this theme and recovered and if you can share some times on how I can move forward from this.

Hello all. Is it really worth it seeing a therapist here? I have struggled a lot with health anxiety and OCD and I feel like there is nothing will stop this and I will live all my life this way.