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I’m sometimes plagued by thoughts about what might happen if I go to sleep and don’t wake up the next day. I hate these thoughts, especially since they just pop up. Anyone else experience this?

Hello! Lately I’m dealing with my brain giving me intrusive scenarios or almost giving me worst case scenarios and my mind instantly believes them! For example: My Brain will give me an intrusive scenarios like “what if god is actually punishing me with these thoughts!” Then my brain gives me negative emotions towards god and being a Christian it’s just heart breaking!

For any girl dealing w/ HOCD do you find it hard to gain crushes on men? And if so why? I feel like it’s even harder for me because most men aren’t the best in relationships 😭 I’m struggling with trusting overall attraction to men. Also have any of you felt attracted to women? And if so how did that feel? Just wanted to hear any relevant input

me and my bf were making a cake for my birthday today and while i was pouring the batter we got into an argument about how much to pour. i said it didnt effing matter and i just wanted to make myself a stupid cake. he proceeded to pour one pan of batter into the other to even it out, in doing so getting batter on the rim and outside of the pans. i told him i didnt want the cake anymore and its ruined so theres no point in making it (because we argued and now the cake is tainted.) ive been laying in bed since it happened and he keeps trying to get me to make it or talk to him but i just dont care. i have a pit in my stomach, i know i should just get over it but i slept most of the day bc i had a feeling something would happen. my feelings are hurt. idk what to do.

I’ve been dealing with short term memory loss recently. Forgetting simple things: names, objects, so on and so forth. It’s to the point where I feel as if I’m spinning out of control. I write here only to use it as a journal and to hopefully connect with those in the community. I’m not googling symptoms as I know it’ll send me further down the rabbit hole. I feel as if me having the short term memory issues is a symptom of me constantly thinking and worrying. I come from a family of depression, schizophrenia, dementia, and other illnesses. I unfortunately deal with anxiety and undiagnosed OCD (100% fit the criteria and in therapy working with tools to cope) so having this terrifies me. I’m compulsively looking up test, watching YouTube, and looking for reassurance in other avenues. Brain fog follows here and there, but my main concern is the memory. I’m in the process of learning acceptance/uncertainty. It’s difficult, but I’m determined, hence my presence here. I’m actively doing the work. It’s a roller coaster, but I see incremental progress. Day by day guys. I may be searching for certainty in majority of my compulsions, but the one thing I know is with my will, I will conquer this. Thank you!

Isn’t it funny how you have the whole symptom but still doubt it’s ocd Like for me I have experience false attraction, I have faced anxiety and fear, I don’t feel anxious anymore, false memories, no sexual drive towards my partner,intrusive thoughts in my dreams and doing compulsion in my dreams, I have got from thinking that you can turn gay to thinking you might be bi, I have also analyze my past looking for evidence, I have also avoided watching YouTube and movies because I feel like it’s a trigger and I feel scared to I also scare to talk with friends because I’m afraid to get attached to them and also get an arousal,I have feared all this and more, the funny part is I have overcome them all, the only thing I have now is gronal response and it looking so real and also where the word gay or bi feels arousing, and I always check my pants 24/7 this what I’m facing now and to be honest it’s not easy when everything feels so real

Is your OCD like this cause I feel like I’m alone. I have intrusive violent thoughts of killing my mom. I’ve been dealing with this since 2012 when I was just 11 no medication is working I’m to the point where I feel like I’m going crazy, having extreme anxiety every single day I wake up, I get urges images it’s like the OCD is convincing me that I will do it. I also worry about the future God am I actually going to be a murderer what is going on i’ve been feeling suicidal. What is the point of living? If I can’t enjoy life the way I want to enjoy life. Rather my OCD is interfering with my life and daily tasks. In and out of mental hospitals, nothing is working. Why am I here and what is the point of me to suffer with this disorder if there’s a God, please take me with you I don’t longer want to live this life of worry.

does anyone else feel the need to share unnecessary thoughts with their boyfriend because they feel guilty for their thoughts?

I just had an appointment with my therapist who specializes in ERP and I’m so scared to start. My general anxiety and thoughts are the fear that I find teenagers attractive and therefore might do something inappropriate with them. I’m a 23 year old gay man and I don’t want this to be my life. My therapist and I just planned my first set of exposures, which is going to involve looking at a photo of an attractive teenager and agree with the thoughts that I am attracted to them. I am so so scared though because I don’t want to be okay with these thoughts. While I do admit that I think some teens are attractive (even admitting that makes me feel gross) I don’t want to allow myself to be this creep who looks at teenagers. I wish this wasn’t my life. I’m so scared that this experience is going to make me realize that I’m a creep who is attracted to the wrong age group and will need to live with this deep shame. I’m so scared of being attracted to them because I worry that maybe I’ll lose impulse control one day and I’ll do something stupid and hook up with someone I shouldn’t with. Does anyone have advice on starting ERP. I’m so scared and that I’ll find out things about myself that I don’t want to.

My family brought me to watch a new movie about sex trafficking and I just knew it was gonna trigger me so I said I didn’t want to go anymore and they got mad at me and forced me to go. They know what I’m going through and how hard it’s been and I’ve done my best to explain it to them yet they still brought me to watch it. As the movie started playing it immediately triggered me so I closed my eyes and started crying because I could just hear what was going on and it kept taking about the p words and kids and I couldn’t take it anymore so I had to leave. My sister let me take her car home but now I’m here by myself and I really just want to die. It’s been almost a whole year and I am still thinking and feeling the same. I think I’ve gotten better but that just ruined me. I just want to be gone already. It’s been long enough and nobody understands my pain. I know I won’t kill myself because I’m too scared but I desperately want to just be dead. I don’t know how much longer I can pretend.

So im 20 and I’m the assistant manager at my job, I constantly work with customers and I struggle with my role and a manager. I constantly feel like I’m less than and like I can never be good enough which is why I need constant reassurance. It replays in my head over and over like a broken record “you’re a failure” “not good enough” “you don’t deserve this role” to the point where I have to take a 10 to calm myself down. It’s exhausting, KNOWING I deserve this role but THINKING I’ll never be good enough. Anybody else struggle with this at work ?

Deeply confused. experiencing rocd like symptoms for few months. Last night I wanted to text my gf saying, “Yes, I want to be with you. This is what im experiencing”. A few months ago I hooked up w someone (before me n gf were official). I ended up having to choose between them. I wonder if i regret my decision. I wonder If i want their love in my life more. last night it felt so clear that i wanted the other person. i couldnt continue writing to my gf. idk what to do. i want to be honest and communicative to get through our struggles. im too internally confused and bottled up

Can anyone share their experiences of relationship OCD & what they did to overcome it? I feel myself constantly wanting certainty & I don’t know how to gain it or be comfortable with uncertainty. I love my partner so much and I don’t want to lose him, but I can’t shake these thoughts

Hey everyone! I apologize for the long post. It is kind of a long story but I really I need some advice on how to handle this. I wanted to go to an OCD/Anxiety partial program as I have had an increase in symptoms and need more resources. Anyways - its important to note my history includes a lot of SA and R*** and unhealthy relationships with men in general. Because of this - I have a hard time discussing these topics with males. However I knew it was going to be an important part of treatment. Due to this, when I did the paperwork I asked specifically for an all female team and they lady was super nice and told me she would make sure of it. Fast forward, it was time for the intake. Now FYI it was on zoom because thats where my local one has been since Covid. I log onto the zoom and was met with the psychiatrist (female) who was going to do the intake and a male medical student. The doctor never asked me if it was okay with me for this student to stay on the call. She began trying to go over my history and spilled a lot of what was in my notes from my regular psychiatrist so she kind of spilled a lot of it out. Then it was my turn to speak and I felt super uncomfortable with how much this male knew as it is hard to talk about it and I was not ready to freely speak in-front of him. I proceeded to type into the zoom chat asking if there was anyway we could ask him to leave because I felt uncomfortable. This doctor turned around and read my message out loud anyways and then proceeded to try to convince me to change my mind. She told him to "Tell her something about yourself so you seem more human." (It was never about me not thinking he was human. I am sure he is a great guy but I was just uncomfortable). After about 5 straight minutes of trying to explain why I should allow him to stay she asked me again and I still said no. The doctor proceeded to roll her eyes and finally asked him to leave. Once he left she said to me "I don't think this is going to work for you because there will be males in discussion groups so this will probably be useless for you." (I don't think this would have been an issue however because this is only part of my OCD/anxiety so that part I would do privately with my therapist and work on other issues in groups). At this point I was so overwhelmed I said I did not want to do the group and she did not even attempt to try and talk through it with me she just said "Okay I'll let the program know" and said goodbye. I feel so bad about the whole thing but I am trying to figure out if I was in the wrong for asking for the med student to leave. What do other people think? Was this a huge request on my part? I am just not sure how to feel about it. Has this ever happened to anyone else? Any advice on the situation I would really appreciate it!!

hey, I have been having really bad thoughts religiously. I have always been afraid I was gonna commit the unforgivable sin, which was blasphemy against the holy spirit. I have horrible intrusive thoughts, and always being worried the devil will take over or possess me. I feel like everytime I get a intrusive thoight I must apolgize to God asap, multiple times. I find myself, doing it for hours. It always has to do with numbers. I also have a hard time walking through doorways, or getting into or out bed multiple times or i’m afraid God won’t forgive me. I also have a really hard time writing the word God, or praying cause I have to picture God correctly, and make sure it’s not the devil so I know i’m praying to God. Is this something you guys are experiencing too?

I’m not on medication, but I’ve been told by friends that it’s probably a good way to go and I have no issues with taking it. I just need to talk to my dad about it, and he’s one of those “deal with it like a man” people. How do I go about this? Any help is greatly appreciated

Hi I’m new to this app. I’ve been struggling so much with ROCD, or I think I am anyway, my brain is running 100mph constantly I can’t even distinguish if these are my thoughts or not but I’m so scared. I got into my current relationship with my boyfriend 8 months ago we were friends prior- he is the most understanding and loving person I’ve ever met. All of my relationships prior to him weren’t great, the one before him was long term and I felt very ignored and unloved the entire time. I struggled so much with health ocd at the start of our relationship- and I’ve started to come over it and now I’m struggling so much with Relationship ocd. Constant thoughts of if we should be together , or if I should be with my ex( who made me so miserable and sad) or if I even love him or am attracted to him anymore! It’s crazy because he’s been the only relationship I ever had who has been so loving and caring and understanding towards me. I feel so cruel and evil, and I can’t understand why I am having these feelings I love him so much and he’s been here for me so much yet my brain keeps telling me we need to break up or I should be with my ex who made me so miserable and sad, or that I don’t even love him! Has anyone else struggled with this and have any tips or advice? I love him so much and want this to work more than anything in the world and I’m so scared my ocd will ruin us.

I’ve been obsessing for quite a while that I’m already dead? I woke up one morning thinking I was not real and things weren’t real after a panic attack the night before and my mind is telling me I died that night and now I’m dreaming what my life could have been, am I alive am I dead? I’m so scared and obsessed with these thoughts always wanting reassurance

God, the amount of posts I have made on here is sick to myself. I feel horrible for reaching out for help constantly. I keep coming back to those compulsions about my ex partner. The abuse and trauma, an fearing seeing them again. I just want to be normal and be one with my fiancé. My biggest trouble I am having currently is that I keep feeling like what if I still want my ex partner, (EVEN THOUGH I KNOW I DONT) and my upcoming marriage fails. It’s paining me and I am hurt so badly by these thoughts and feeling like I am disappointing my partner. I feel good and perfect for weeks to months then all of a sudden a weird thought comes to my head and I meditate. I do meditation to banish these thoughts but also to tell my mind I have moved on. Then, the moment after I finish that, I start to ruminate and have several different compulsions. I am so so so so so tired mentally. I am scared because I start to get suicidal during times where my OCD lashes at me. I have no way of controlling it. We marry is 2026. We decided not to do it now because we still have things we want to accomplish before we tie the knot. I just don’t know what there will be to accomplish if I keep this pattern going. I am scared. I am depressed and I am defeated. I am honestly just reaching out for help, and I am sorry if this offends anyone or triggers any harm OCD you may have. If anyone can reply or someone just anyone it would be so appreciative.

Has anyone been struggling with their partners or family members in term of their ocd? My boyfriend and I have been going through a rough patch especially since I got diagnosed with OCD. And I try so hard not to let my compulsions and reassurance seeking compulsions come onto him. Especially lately any comment I make or question I make that has some revelance to my OCD, somehow triggers him and causes a whole argument. I try not to cause the argument or even make comments anymore because of how I feel he will respond. And I don’t know what to do anymore. I’m trying so hard not to even say anything while he is rambling on AFTER the fact, that I said “something about my ocd.” Because I don’t want to give into it and I’m practicing so hard on my ERP’s and not giving into compulsion. But he is making is so hard for me and I don’t know what to do. He said he still wants to be with me and what not. I’m just over it, and for once I’d like if someone could support me instead of going against me. Please let me know if someone else is dealing with this.