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Has anyone even happily had a relationship with their gf/boyf after having rocd with them

I literally had a sex dream abt my abuser and I feel disgusted after waking up or just shocked bc now I feel now and how I felt in the dream are different.. and it’s weird bc I it’s like i didn’t know it was my abuser but it was yk? Like he was clearly physically present but I didn’t feel that vibe or aura abt them so I thought it was a different person but but physically they looked like them and I feel so disgusted bc I remember the details and I feel so ashamed bc I felt the dream and i saw myself like it :((( idk what that means bc now I’m kinda worried that means I had sexually feelings for my abuser deep down but I woke up like chill until I remembered and I felt disgusted ofc but I feel like I’m so used to anything being a possibility like maybe I do think or that like the ocd exposure thing that I feel bad that I kinda am not scared as much anymore? But it still concerns me bc I feel so disgusted by it now and even more bc my groinals and I still feel it like bleh :/

I get anxiety every single time I have a stomach ache and you know how often I have a stomach ache every single day I get anxiety every single day about the same things and even more things but it’s not just that so much things trigger it and I feel so misunderstood like people think oh you have a fear of throwing up well no one like throwing up or get over it but it’s not that simple I’m traumatized like I’d rather do something I absolutely hate than throw up. I literally avoid everything I can’t eat this can do that can’t share. i have to take vitamin c everyday to improve my immune system I don’t like travel because I’m scared of motion sickness I get scared on rides thinking someone will Throw up on me I cant drink even though I’m underage and alcohol is disgusting but still I can’t be around little kids because they have too many germs. I always think I have a fever and I’m constantly checking my temp. I’m constantly feeling my head and my cheeks to make sure they’re not hot. I get scared to go to my cousins house because they are always sick I can’t eat at certain restaurant i have to check dates on food. I can’t wear certain clothes. i have dreams of myself throwing up. When I get intrusive thoughts/ images about me getting sick or someone else. I Literally can not function on certain days from the past I got sick there is so much more how will this ever stop how will I ever be able to function I avoid so much and I literally miss out on so much things because of this like I literally want to shut down in my room and never come out that’s how bad it is. I have this extreme fear of getting sick/ vomiting and OCD has latched onto that fear ever since I was little and I have to do all these compulsions and this is just a list of some of the things I have to do. Anyone else relate?

does anybody else experience more OCD like symptoms when they feel as though their life is getting out of control or a big change happened? when I feel as though things are getting out of control, I obsess over the things that I can’t control. Such as food, cleanliness, and the list goes on and on I’m sure you would understand.

hello! this is going to be a personal rant about my current struggles with OCD. specifically Cis-OCD, which is pretty much just TOCD in reverse (obsession/fear of actually being cis in denial). i'm a 21 year old trans man, i came out around 5 and a half years ago and i've been on T for 2 years and am 7 months post top surgery. since around october, i've been dealing with intrusive thoughts surrounding my gender. pre-transition, i had this theme for a few months: the "what if i've just been faking it this whole time/what if i'm not truly trans?". my family didn't understand my identity at first and questioned me a lot on it and i always felt like i had to justify/explain myself. which was pretty much fuel to the fire. no matter what, though, this identity that i hold felt like gravity. i always ended up back here because it's who i truly am and i know that deep down. years later, far after the initial obsession, in early january i began my medical transition. it was seriously the best decision i could have made for myself. my mental health reached a baseline of okay-ness that i had never experienced before. bad things that would happen to me didn't feel like they were going to consume me, i felt true, prolonged happiness for the first time in a long time. i was joyful as every change came along with the hormones, as i felt a synchronization between my body and mind that i had never experienced before. i had surgery in may 2022 and seeing my chest for the first time made me feel something indescribable and amazing. i have a video of myself taking my shirt off outside for the first time over the summer and not knowing how to express how overcome with emotion i was. from jan 2021-october 2022 my ocd was also not very severe and i could function in school and daily life a lot better than usual. then october hit, and i got the flu for the first time in around three years, and i was in bed and my body ached very badly. i was sick three times that semester. an intrusive thought came into my head, the same one from years before, the "maybe your body hurts and you feel bad because you secretly regret your transition". at first, the thoughts were easier to fight off and explain away with logic. but as i kept fighting, the thoughts kept searching for new evidence. i began to have to check my memories over and over, to examine whether or not i was happier when i was younger before i transitioned, to examine pictures of me before and after and throughout and make sure i still felt like who i am. i began having to look in the mirror for a long time and check whether i recognized my reflection as my true self, to feel my chest and facial hair repeatedly to check that i still liked the changes i had made. i read accounts of people who had transitioned and people who detransitioned and made a mental tally of how many things they said i could relate to. i started telling friends about the obsession in hopes of seeking reassurance. a lot of the thoughts were irrational in nature and took things from my past and twisted them to be "signs" that the thoughts were true. when i got reassurance i felt better for a little while but the OCD never took that as an answer. it just kept getting worse. i told my dad about it in november over the phone and he said something along the lines of "if you keep thinking it, it has to have some credibility. the thoughts are there for a reason." i flipped out and panicked really bad that night. i didn't want the thoughts to be true. i didn't think they were. i'm happy with myself. but then my dad said "well, it's obviously more distressing to be wrong about who you are than right about it" and i couldn't stop thinking about that over and over. there were times where i used tips from OCD resources i'd found online, to help me accept uncertainty. when i'd do that, i would temporarily get out of how bad it was. i would be my normal self again, for a few weeks, and i began to do the things i enjoyed again like painting and video editing. but there would always be something to trigger it and i would end up back in the cycle. on tiktok i saw a video about someone who detransitioned after like seven years being out, and the "what if" thoughts came back really quickly. i went through their whole account and needed to know all the information so i would know if i matched it (i did not but the what ifs made me even question that). as this thing got worse, the lines between what was real and what was not got blurred for me. i began not trusting anything i thought and i wasn't able to engage with the world at all. every random stimulus (TV shows, song lyrics, writing) made me twist it up to be about the obsession even though it was completely unrelated. since many of my compulsions are mental, i wouldn't even realize i was doing them. i became miserable and my brain felt like a minefield, a hellscape. constant excruciating pain. i barely made it through the fall semester and had to be hospitalized two days before christmas as i became very unsafe very fast. i thought my problem was too complex and unheard of even within the OCD world to even bother getting help. but i did anyway in a last ditch attempt before i gave up completely. i'm now out of the hospital and entering into an IOP (intensive outpatient program) treatment on monday. i'm scared that it won't work on me or that i'm deeply in denial. i feel like i have better insight now than i did when i was hospitalized but i'm constantly on the edge of going down the rabbit hole again and i need to keep myself out of it. if you got this far, thank you for reading. i'm a little scared to even talk about this on a public platform but here we are. i don't know what the purpose of this post was but i guess i just wanted to write about my journey so far

I’ve prided myself on my ability to stick to a discipline, practice in my art, and used my “struggles” with OCD in not only my lyricism; but in nearly every task that I do. I do not have trouble letting go of this productivity on a day that I decide to. But it’s how I enjoy living. I hold myself to a very high standard for productivity + efficiency. I’ve never allowed that to feel like a “burden”. I simply do the things that I need to do, and then do the things I want to do. I feel that there is a connotation to OCD that has a “negative” tone. Is it really something that you need to “cure”? Instead of something to learn to live with? Like a missing limb / a vision impairment? Do you believe I am on the right track by wanting to identify my strengths > my weaknesses? And that the best strategy is to learn to minimize how those weaknesses + compulsions affect my daily functioning? I feel like I have learned to use my “mental illness” to my advantage. I do not feel like it’s magical thinking, as belief makes reality. If I believed that I were debilitated, I would be debilitated. I believe that I am someone who has OCD. Not someone who is OCD. I find a lot of pleasure & satisfaction in engaging my healthier “compulsions”. I choose to engage in these behaviors. As a ritual > a compulsion. I feel that it adds more of a human meaning to the clinical experience that learning about + living with OCD can be. As a relaxation ritual, I will take 10-15 minutes to arrange crystals, various rocks, and other trinkets, that I have assigned personal value to. I practice mindfulness during this time. I light a few candles. I open my window. I pour a glass of water. I engage all of my sense (along with each of the 4 elements ((earth rocks, water cup, air window, fire candle))). I’ve lost several of these stones, and gained others. I aim to keep them safe for as long as possible. I have learned to cope with my emotions & obsessions by, instead of always trying to combat this OCD monster; let him out of the cage when I choose to do so. I believe that it’s important to accept that part of myself. I’ve noticed that trying to have “control” over it, only leads to it worsening in the long run. So I choose to let it out in my music, or in my art. As I understand: compulsions are the real issue with OCD. Everyone has obsessions / intrusive thoughts. But OCD’s complication is that we develop unhealthy obsessions, to cope with the distress caused by these mostly normal human feelings & behaviors. Then, we connect some greater meaning to our compulsions. Is this not just a more complex way of describing everyone? Do we not all compulsively do things? Are we as a society more riddled with OCD because of an increase in media, fast paced living, lack of control over our lives, and an ever growing + evolving world? If my compulsions are healthy & make me happy, is there as much of an issue to “solve”? Or is it more important to understand the deeper problems & trauma that I’ve been learning had started my OCD? I understand more about my fears, triggers, and specific obsessions, as I use the model of OCD to analyze them. But, it feels a bit strange to be seeing myself in this way. As if I have something wrong with me / that I need to see as “more of a problem”. I feel like a lot of well intentioned people are upset that I see it differently. That I see it as a part of my life + my way of being. If I spend time cleaning, making music, doing calisthenics, jewelry making, clothing customizing, painting, and using other mixed media mediums; is that the OCD doing it or is it me? Is having OCD & trying to “live a normal life” what causes so many people so much distress and pain? Or is it that OCD is an affliction of those who experience severe distress & pain, and it becomes an entity outside of themselves (inside of themselves)?

I feel like If I don't tell someone something I'll go crazy and I can't talk to to my family or friends I am to scared that they will hate me if that did happen I couldn't take it I'm so scared I just downloaded this app and I don't know much about ocd except what iv watched on YouTube and read online why am I don't even know why I'm trying this I just want to be ok the last few days have been the worst I do my best to act normal around my family but I can tell I'm not do that good of a job I can't stop crying when I'm alone i soon know what to do with my self I'm so fucked sorry for this rable Idk if this even helped I know I'm not supposed to ask for reassurance sorry

Hi everyone, this is my first post on this app! My OCD manifests in severe skin picking, which has gone on for about 5 or 6 years now. I don’t know how to stop, my go to places I pick are my chest and shoulders, I have so many scars and I get so self conscious if I’m wearing something that shows skin, because i feel gross. Does anybody have any tips or recommendations on things to try? I am so desperate to stop, but I literally cannot control it😭 (I also notice I tend to pick extra bad when I’m tired, stressed, or anxious). I seriously appreciate any advice you all can give!!

I’ve never tried posting in this community or any online community for that matter, but my girlfriend of 8 years just told me she wanted to take a weeklong break 3 days ago. I know a week isn’t long and I believe everyone deserves space when they need it, I’ve been trying to give it to her. We’ve still ended up texting everyday (I made a rule with myself that I’d only text her if she texted me, so that the space is there if she wants it). These obviously aren’t our normal texts, the coldness and having to pretend this isn’t my other-half of 8 years is killing me. I haven’t been diagnosed with OCD, but I’m almost positive I have rocd reocd. Ive been the type to make up problems in my head and obsess over them until I have to share my thoughts with her, this usually upsets her and we have a fight. She’s amazing, and I’d do anything for her, but shes not the reassuring type when I’m panicking about our relationship (not that that’s her responsibility). I have this awful feeling that when we talk about it after this week, she’s going to ask to just be friends. For some reason I just can’t do this, I can’t keep conversing this way with the woman Ive planned my life away with, I can’t keep living in this hell. I know that my delusions will get better once we move in together as they completely go away when we stay together, but I can’t help but feel that she’ll doubt this and want to break up anyway. As dramatic as I feel saying this, these last few days have been torture on my heart and mind. I can’t eat, and when I do I throw up and dry heave, I’ve lost 10 pounds in 3 days. My whole day is filled with random panic attacks and an inability to remain present and focused for more than 5 minutes. The panic attacks get much worse at night, not allowing me to sleep, and I just keep fearing the worst and obsessing over what I’m going to say or do to show her I’m serious about making this work. I’ve contacted two counselors and am meeting with one tomorrow, but I just don’t know what to do right now. I really appreciate anyone who read all this I just needed to put it somewhere.

I’ve never tried posting in this community or any online community for that matter, but my girlfriend of 8 years just told me she wanted to take a weeklong break 3 days ago. I know a week isn’t long and I believe everyone deserves space when they need it, I’ve been trying to give it to her. We’ve still ended up texting everyday (I made a rule with myself that I’d only text her if she texted me, so that the space is there if she wants it). These obviously aren’t our normal texts, the coldness and having to pretend this isn’t my other-half of 8 years is killing me. I haven’t been diagnosed with OCD, but I’m almost positive I have rocd reocd. Ive been the type to make up problems in my head and obsess over them until I have to share my thoughts with her, this usually upsets her and we have a fight. She’s amazing, and I’d do anything for her, but shes not the reassuring type when I’m panicking about our relationship (not that that’s her responsibility). I have this awful feeling that when we talk about it after this week, she’s going to ask to just be friends. For some reason I just can’t do this, I can’t keep conversing this way with the woman Ive planned my life away with, I can’t keep living in this hell. I know that my delusions will get better once we move in together as they completely go away when we stay together, but I can’t help but feel that she’ll doubt this and want to break up anyway. As dramatic as I feel saying this, these last few days have been torture on my heart and mind. I can’t eat, and when I do I throw up and dry heave, I’ve lost 10 pounds in 3 days. My whole day is filled with random panic attacks and an inability to remain present and focused for more than 5 minutes. The panic attacks get much worse at night, not allowing me to sleep, and I just keep fearing the worst and obsessing over what I’m going to say or do to show her I’m serious about making this work. I’ve contacted two counselors and am meeting with one tomorrow, but I just don’t know what to do right now. I really appreciate anyone who read all this I just needed to put it somewhere.

About 2 weeks ago my best friend of 5 years and I had a falling out and haven’t really spoken to one another since. Context: My intrusive thoughts had been slowly intensifying for months, but I felt that my not OCD-specific CBT every week was adequate means to controlling them. However, I woke up one morning consumed by the fear that the only people who could ever/currently do love me is on the condition that I am quiet about my OCD. My brain is a scary place and I never want to cause harm to someone I care about by exposing them to that. I felt I had it under control until my best friend texted and asked to come over. I told her I was having a hard mental day and just needed to be alone. She was insistent on being present with me in the moment to be supportive, and I knew in that moment that I couldn’t mask what I was feeling. That she would see the most raw and unfiltered version of myself, and that only made me feel more scared. She showed up to my apartment anyway, and because of my friend’s nature, I knew refusing to let her in would only raise more concern with the potential of a wellness check. I didn’t want that, so I let her in. While she was here she asked me multiple times if I could just tell her what I was thinking in hopes she could help. I told her repeatedly didn’t want to talk because what I didn’t feel in control of my thoughts and what I had to say wouldn’t be good. With every ask I could feel the adrenaline in my body and the compulsions getting more intense, until she took out a guided therapy journal and I snapped. I didn’t snap in anger towards her, but just in the frustration of feeling my compulsions getting stronger and ultimately like the rational parts of myself lost control. I told her about my fear of no one loving me despite having OCD and that if anyone saw me at low points like this, they’d be both traumatized and angry with me for traumatizing them. That I am able to have this close friendship with her because in 5 years she had never seen me like this, and that if I continued to unmask my OCD like I was right then, she would no longer want anything to do with me. When I said this she stormed out of my apartment in anger. I texted her and apologized for upsetting her enough to leave and that we could work that out when I was feeling better about my own situation (note that I was crying, shaking, and fighting the built up adrenaline of wanting to cause harm still and wasn’t in the headspace to rationally discuss our interaction). She responded with many paragraphs, saying that I hurt her and she didn’t deserve me thinking that poorly of her as a person. Seeing by how upset she was I tried really hard to pull myself together and make things right with her. I apologized for what I did and clarified that I don’t see her in that negative regard she interpreted. That I instead care about and respect her too much to put her through my mental mess and deserves to have best friends that won’t hurt or blow up on her. That she’s so strong and self-assured that she would see my low points as attempts at manipulation and leave me for someone who doesn’t treat her like that. Because I obviously over-explain it ended up being multiple paragraphs of letting my guard down and trying to make sense of what was happening. Like I said it’s been 2 weeks and she hasn’t spoken to me, and I don’t know what to do. I feel I have said everything I possibly could to make things right. At this point I feel like this whole situation has kinda proved my original fears, too. That if I was open about my OCD and let people see me at my worst, then they would be angry with me and want nothing to do with me. We were each other’s go-to person for 5 years and suddenly one bad day and I’m nothing to her. Oh well :/

all day yesterday i was trying my hardest to avoid a thought and fear that is starting to come back again and i think i was able to just push it out that it kinda went away. while i was walking my dogs and smoking i had gotten the thought back in my head and felt the anxiety struck. i tried labeling this as just and intrusive thought and go on with my night. while i was eating a snack and texting my friend the thought popped into my head that i was trying to avoid so much and it felt so real as if i was going to do this or i guess like it came as an image so i saw myself doing this and i just started panicking completely. i felt my heart just drop and as i was able to calm myself down a bit from this by labeling it a thought, telling myself i’m fine and okay, and focusing on my breathing i ran to my room to get ready for bed cause i didn’t want to feel anything at all i didn’t want to go through this again. now that i woke up super early with my mind already playing the whole thing back and me trying to tell myself this is a thought and freaking out in my bed for about 2 hours i’m trying to figure out what now. like i’m sitting here asking myself did you want to do this, why did it feel so really like it was going to actually happen, and just completely spiraling in my head that i feel so slow and completely drained. i saw my mom and i usually get excited to see her in the morning but i just felt so disconnected and distant and i just want out of this completely. i also feel just so much disgust like why does your kind think this way or about this or any of it and i hate it and i’m trying to just stay calm and distract myself. i know this is super long and if you read it thanks i just didn’t know if anyone else feels this way or gets this way or am i just a monster and all alone in this. i hope ppl relate and i’m not all alone.

got into it with my mother last night because i’m young and “behind” in life (i.e., planned to graduate college two years ago but i developed OCD and it dragged me across the pavement). she told me that i need to “just stop f*cking overthinking and get my sh*t together,” because “it’s a privilege to have the time to sit around and wallow in self-loathing.” she said if i were in poverty i wouldn’t have that luxury, and i would “just let it go and move on” because i “wouldn’t have a choice.” luxury of what? being so paralyzed by crippling fear every day that i can’t remember what it’s like to live a normal life, because it’s been three years since i’ve had almost everything i love ripped away by this god awful disorder? please tell me i’m not crazy… i’m only two years “behind”… it just stabbed me so hard hearing her say that all i do is sit around and ruminate, that i need to “just move on,” as if that hadn’t occurred to me. i have tried to explain that 70% of my energy goes purely towards trying to STOP ruminating. i said if i loathed myself i wouldn’t get up every day with such boundless hope that some might call it insane, and make myself nice meals even though i don’t think i deserve them because i “already wasted a bunch of time yesterday,” and confront the mirror every time i enter the bathroom even though it makes my limbs cold, because i believe in a future where i love my body even though i’ve never experienced that a day in my life. it is not my fault that watching my favorite cartoons fills me with fear that makes my chest so tight i can barely breathe. i have never given up, and will never give up, and i continue to smile even though something broken inside me that i *can’t control* makes me so scared to be alive that most days, i lose my memories and forget who i am for at least a couple hours. sometimes it lasts for weeks or even months. all the while i’m just trying to graduate. yep, what a privilege.

Does this ever happen to anyone? I get very self critical in any social situation where I feel like I could have shown up better. Specifically around charisma. Ex. If I say bye very softly or if I leave abruptly, or do anything that could be perceived as awkward or weird, I spiral and obsess about the interaction. I will replay it over and over and feel so anxious about how I acted. I will beat myself up and criticize myself for not being charismatic or for potentially acting weird. It drives me insane, sometimes for more than 1-2 hours on end. does this happen to anyone else?

Can anxiety or discomfort from having the thoughts ever make you feel like you could break out into a smile? Like I know these thoughts distress me but from feeling confused as to whether I like the thoughts and checking whether I’m ‘happy’ or looking in the mirror to check my facial expression I’ve become worried it’s true. Now sometimes when I’m worried/anxious I feel like I could break into a smile or suddenly smile or that I secretly want to smile? What is this

I’ve been considering scheduling a call with a specialist. Just want to know if and how it has helped others that have worked with a specialist. I have a fear of family doctors as they have put me in some terrible situations in the past with misdiagnoses and medications that I reacted very badly to and I would like to get a real therapist that specializes in ocd because I get the feeling family doctors don’t know much about this. No matter how hard they present themselves as knowledgeable about the subject it feels like they are just pushing prescriptions on me and making guesses. Just wanted to get a general idea of what I would be getting myself into with a specialist.

So every time I have that intrusive thought I get anxiety but it feels like I ‘like the feeling of doing that when I imagine it’ The thought is about smothering my cat/someone with a pillow. None of my other intrusive thought have every felt like that. But I imagined it to test myself once and I got bad anxiety but it felt like I liked the feeling of doing that. I don’t know if I’m confusing my feelings like maybe when I’m imagining doing that it feels like an urge to ‘squash someone with a pillow’ but my head is confusing the urge to do that with me ‘liking the feeling’ so when I imagine it I get anxiety but it feels like I would like the feeling of squashing someone or stopping them from breathing and it’s really scary and horrible. I know I don’t want to do that and it’s stressing me a lot. And it’s not like a verbal thought of ‘maybe you like the feeling’ it’s like an actual feeling and now I’m worried I’ve taken a liking to some sick action, I start tearing up and get anxiety but I don’t know why it feels like that. But my mind starts wandering like ‘what if it feels like a relief to do think that because your frustrated so that’s why it feels like you like the feeling, because I’m thought your acting on an urge’ and the worse part is when you watch movies and a killer does that smothering thing they make it seem like the killer gets a relief from doing that and I’m worried that’s me. The strange thing is so let’s say I’m worrying I like ‘suffocating someone’ sorry I’m going in so much detail but if I imagine strangling, I instantly know I hate it and wouldn’t want to do that and it’s really scary but with these thought about the pillow idk if maybe I’ve gotten use to them that’s why it doesn’t feel like I ‘hate them’ anymore but I don’t understand why it feels like I would like the feeling of doing that and it gives me anxiety and like a intense feeling in my chest and I don’t know what to do 😢😢😞😞 I feel so horrible and no one is able to give me any answers because they don’t know what I’m feeling

So I’ve been worrying because every time I have the intrusive thought of ‘smothering someone’ it feels like I like the feeling of doing that and want to and it’s stressing me a lot. Like I was analysing my body just now when I had the thoughts and I can tell that this thought is stressing me out a lot, the anxiety I get, I get this tension/pain in my face and my head starts to hurt, I get goosebumps (but my head tells me it’s because it’s cold not because I’m scared) and I do these head twitches and scrunch up my nose to the thoughts like (argh not this again) but despite my body feeling under pressure and stressed out by the thought it also feels like I like the feeling of doing that when I imagine it and that’s causes my body to start stressing out and idk what to do. I don’t understand how I can be stressed out and not want to do these things but at the same time feel like I ‘like the feeling of doing that’ when I imagine it and it’s horrible. One minute I’m distracted and feel normal and next minute I’m bad again and ruminating 😞

Hey guys, I just downloaded this app! Im a 19 year old girl, college student, and ever since I got to college, I’ve become a giant stress ball. I’ve not yet been diagnosed with OCD, but my family seems to think I’ve shown signs of it growing up, but they definitely think I have it based on how I’ve been the past 4 months or so, and I’m starting to agree. I think I have some sort of health OCD/anxiety and/or personal well-being OCD/anxiety, and probably a mix of general OCD/anxiety as well. I’ve basically convinced myself these past few months that I’m losing my hair, crazy sounding, I know. I’ve always been obsessed with my hair and so I noticed a change and I don’t think I was necessarily wrong about that change, but I’ve completely obsessed over it for months now. I mean seriously, I clean my brush every time I brush my hair and sit there and count how many hairs I lost to make sure it’s in a “normal range”. I try and catch every hair that comes out of my head to add it to the count and make sure it gets in the trash. I think the stress and anxiety I’m experiencing from this is actually what’s making it worse and ACTUALLY making me lose hair at this point. It’s to the point where I literally can’t function, my stomach turns into knots and loses appetite, and i constantly have the lump in my throat like I need to burst into tears. It’s really starting to take a toll on my mental health and confidence. I have an appointment with a psychiatrist this week and I’m hoping he will know what to do. I’m willing to go on meds to help my stress levels, but of course I looked up different medications and a lot of antidepressants have the small potential to make someone experience hair loss, here I go again! I will probably get anxiety about starting a new medication and then convince myself that it’s making me lose more hair, UGH!

I feel like my intrusive thoughts are becoming my regular thoughts and the two are fusing together. I’m scared I might hurt somebody or myself because they feel so real. I don’t know how to stop my intrusive thoughts because my compulsions are almost like intrusive thoughts also.