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the NOCD Community

How do I know I definitely have ocd I feel like I’m making it all up and using it as excuse to my boyfriend and that I’m a bad person towards him I don’t want to hurt him I want to share my thoughts with someone :(

I don’t know if I have OCD, but I’m in the verge of asking my mom to maybe go and get me checked. I will get a thought or several thoughts in my head and then think about them for HOURS and not be able to do anything else until I am satisfied. It is usually an agenda and I will go over it again and again in my head until it drives me crazy and I break down. I get thoughts in my head while out in public usually, ones that I am so ashamed of and make me feel disgusting. I also get unnecessarily angry and violent when certain sounds happen. Especially coughing. I don’t know if it is the repetitive part of it but when I say angry and violent I mean it. I think this might be misophonia, but I heard the two are related. Anyone with OCD, does any of this seem familiar? I’m hopeless at this point

Someone in my house is sick right now, probably with a cold or the flu. All I can think about is how I am going to get sick. We share a single kitchen and bathroom, so quarantine is not available in this situation. Every time they sneeze or cough I panic inside. It makes me not want to interact with any members of my family but then I get shamed for that. They shame me for wearing a mask and wiping down surfaces because it is rude to the sick person. I don’t know how to stop being so selfish. I can’t look at any items in the house without thinking about all the germs that must be on them. The air feels poison. I think my family must be right and my avoidance behaviors are selfish, but I don’t know what else to do. Even mentioning the illness makes me freak out. Imagining getting sick is terrifying, even a cold, because it means everything around me changing and canceling important plans and not getting to see my other friends and family and being isolated. On top of that it means that the germs have infected me and I hate that.

My OCD gives me the need to confess things. It’s really hard and exhausting. How do you combat this, anyone else had this problem?

Got hit on back of my head from someone elbow by accident kinda hard but there was no pain or anything I am shy and nervous so I just said why you do that and left. As I was walking I head my heart beating in my head. Now I fear I have brain damage or something bad I still remember everything my passwords my name so I didn't lose my memory. Now I'm going feel different all day and worry in my head because of it

Hi everyone, I'm writing to ask if anyone has found a technique to stop compulsively researching stuff on Google. Oftentimes I get completely stuck researching things and can't stop even if I want to. My therapist has told me that when I get the urge i should focus on something else or focus on what my senses are perceiving. However, if I try to focus on my sensations, the stimuli that I get are not strong enough to distract me, or they don't last long enough, while, on the other hand, if I try to focus on a different activity, my mind is completely unable to focus and keeps going back to the thing that I want to search. Do you have any other suggestion?

So I’ve been suffering with intense health anxiety for a few years now, and just recently I learned it may be caused by OCD. It’s to the point where every time I get a headache I start to freak out, scared that I could be having an aneurysm. I am far too worried about having a stroke or heart attack for being 21. I can’t even enjoy a casual, relaxing hot shower anymore. I have to slowly increase the temperature when getting in and slowly decrease the shower while getting out because I am afraid that any drastic temperature change can give me a heart attack. I know deep down that these fears are illogical, but no matter how often I get them they still feel just as real every time. I try to reason with myself, but every time I feel mild discomfort in my body I can’t help but freak out. I am so tired of checking my face in the mirror for symptoms of stroke every time I get a headache or feel a weird sensation in my body. Every other day of the week I force myself to stay awake for a certain period of time because I’m scared if I go to sleep I won’t wake up. I get hymnic jerks every single night (where you jolt awake when drifting to sleep) because my brain is so occupied with making sure I’m staying alive that it jolts me awake because my body is trying to sleep while my mind stays awake. It’s so difficult for me to pay attention during lectures because I get so caught up in my health anxiety that I’m focusing on grounding techniques in order to keep myself from hyperventilating. I spend more time making sure I can understand the words my professor is saying to make sure I’m not having a stroke than actually paying attention to the lectures. Another thing I struggle with is having to count my medication every time before I take it to make sure I didn’t accidentally take two or more doses, even if I KNOW I only took one. I have to count them anyways otherwise my mind will convince me I overdosed. It will not stop until I count my medication and make sure I didn’t overdose. It’s honestly so tiring, and the sad part is that my health anxiety has actually gotten better. It was even worse before now, and everything I’ve listed is stuff that I still do. Does anyone else have this struggle? Because it feels so isolating and makes me feel like I’m going crazy.

Hi! I don’t even know what I’m trying to get from this, I think I just need to get it out of my system around people who know what OCD feels like. I have a partner which I love a lot, I feel like we have a great, healthy relationship, we communicate a lot. She never got to know me at my really ill or ,lowest points‘ with OCD. I’ve been relatively stable for some time, but I have this big fear of getting bad again, making her feel bad, having breakdowns in front of her and now tonight I had a panic attack because I kept spiralling. (Intrusive thoughts about how I might be manipulating her, might be bad for her) It’s like I start feeling bad and then I try to force my way out of it but I can’t, and instead I panic and start rambling and scaring myself because I sound incoherent or stumble upon my words, and then I panic that I’m disturbing her and/or losing my mind and destroying our relationship by exposing her to this part of me. I feel like rationally I know I don’t have to freak out but there’s still this terrified little child inside of me that will completely panic and hate myself in these moments. I guess I just would like for someone to say they understand what this feels like or that they’ve been through something similar. I just feel like I desperately want to say the right thing, and not behave like the weirdest person ever, but the more I want that, the more I freak out. Aaah. I don’t want to go back to this mess. And I don’t want to drag her into it. Right now I wish I could just erase the past hour and apologize in the right, correct way, as to soothe her and redo everything weird I said - but I know that’s just my need to control everything aka my compulsions nagging at me :(

I have been heterosexual all my life and been exclusively attracted to women in all aspects. Although, admittedly that I find all people aesthetically attractive (regardless of gender), it was in my nature to complement them and admire them for who they are. I’m currently in a committed relationship with my girlfriend and have been happy up until the end of 2023. It wasn’t until the start of January where the normal things that I did made me question about my sexuality. I kept obsessing over it and overthinking about it up until the point that I kept asking for reassurance from my family and partner as well as none-stop researching about it. It has been taking up my time in school and I’m losing my sleep. My mind was telling me that I was bisexual or gay, but deep down it felt wrong like it wasn’t me. I was having thoughts and fantasies that would wake me up and feel repulsed. I am slowly staring to get numb and be emotionless. I also have been very anxious and have started to get attractions and arousals that I didn’t like. I’m also starting to lose attraction to my partner and there have been instances where the thoughts were so close to convincing me. I just want to be happy with my girlfriend and I don’t want to lose our relationship as well as our future. I don’t also want to lose my self. I have been getting false attractions, groinal responses, thoughts and images that are bothersome and makes me feel repulsed. It gets worse whenever I analyze my past. I don’t know what to do and I just want to cry.

I get really afraid of messing up in front of people,even if it’s,talking,tripping,miss pronouncing a word especially in front of large groups.

I live in college dorm apartment and have three other roomates. The other two that share a room have made complaints toward my roomate and I about little things like leave 1 dish in the dish rack. So at the beginning of moving in I asked if blow drying my hair in the AM was too loud they said after 7 AM was ok, so I have abided by it. They also had commented that we were “slamming doors” mind you, our doors are less than half a foot away from each other including mine and my roomates bathroom door. So I try to be as quiet as possible. Well three days ago they put as passive aggressive sticky note on my door complaining about the “door slamming” I open and close the door twice before 8 AM and they basically said limit the door slamming until 8 AM which is the dorm time of making noise. However we have classes really early and also stated in our profil that we would be waking up prior to 7 am or earlier. And I’m so confused because my roomie just acts innocent and I do all the talking. And I feel like there’s jealously and hostility coming from the other two girls, and I haven’t even done anything. I don’t play music, I wash my dishes immediately after cooking. I vacuum and clean common areas. And it does make sense to me how I can blow dry my hair at 7 AM but they’re complaining my open a door before 8 AM wakes them up but not the sound of a loud blow dryer?? So anyways I told my RA bc I’m tired of them picking on me. And we have a mediation meeting this upcoming week, and I have been having a bad ocd episode questioning myself if I’ve done something wrong or if if I’m going to get in trouble even though the hostility is coming from them. My current roomie started acting cold bc we were already kind of having distance because of some unhealthy things I saw and didn’t want to be part of. So my roomie has kinda instigated making jokes like oh that’s your best friend abt my roomates and like used to bring them up everyday yet acts innocent in front of them, and allowing me to look like the bad person for standing up for myself. Anyways the ocd is out of hand and I feel intense sadness bc I haven’t done anything and I’m paranoid that they’re going to say bad things about me at the mediation meeting and make me look bad but I doubt the person hosting our meeting would allow that behavior. Any recommendations on how to cope?

Guys please help. Did anyone of you find a way to break the sleep obsession cycle? For my whole life I was able to fall asleep in 10-20 minutes. Had one sleepless night few days ago due to being excited yet scared for a special day. Since then I have this fuck up in my head that even though I'm tired as hell I cannot fall asleep because I'm still checking it. It's like don't think of a pink elephant. I am naturally not the type that would have difficulties with sleep. It's because this obsession. I know my thoughts cannot just disappear so I have to find a way to work with it somehow. Any help appreciated. Thank you very much.

I’m about to begin high school and am so obsessed with making the right decision. I am stuck between two highschools, one with all my friends but a bad school, and one with only some of my friends but very good. I’m afraid I’m gonna choose the wrong school and have a bad highschool experience because of that. The highschool with my friends in it is smaller and has a bad reputation, but the friends i have there I am extremely close with. On the other hand, the nicer highschool is way bigger and i only have a few friends in my grade so i will most likely go into it alone. Please help in any way, i’m so extremely nervous and need some guidance.

I keep getting images of girls naked and whenever I see girls on tick-tock I keep setting thought in my mind u like her and it’s becomes like a fealing. Btw I’m a girl and I don’t like girls I’ve never had any crush on a girl I’ve always liked boys. When we I think of a boy I get thought about a girl is it an intrusive thought could some one please reply to me I need help I don’t who I am anymore. I went doctors again yesterday and they increased my fluoxetine dose to 30 Mg. All I want to know if I’m straight or no I’m scared I want to have a husband My parents are very worried for me

Hello me and my boyfriend have been dating for almost a year and I’m very scared because I’ve had intrusive thoughts abt leaving him for another. This is very much against my moral compass and I’ve been avoiding male friends because of it. It stemmed from hlm not being able to comfort me as well as certain friends, but I’ve abstained from telling my friends my problems cuz of this I feel terrible and want to hurt myself. I hate these thoughts. I just want to feel safe and happy.

I had a dream that I liked this boy and I’m a girl is it a good sign that’s I’m straight but when I woke up I started to get thoughts about girls and they feel real they deal that I like girls and I don’t want to

does anyone else really struggle with feeling like their feet are uneven when walking on sidewalks that have lines or floors that have indents. For example; if a certain part of my left foot touches the line (like the middle of my foot) as i walk, i have to touch the line on same part on my right foot. Also, having to even out which foot i start and end with for each sidewalk square, like if i end on my right foot more than 3 times ina row i start to feel the panic set in and end up having to do stutter steps to even it out. it’s really embarrassing, especially when i’m with people or people are around. it can also be quite exhausting.

i just downloaded this app. recently ocd has been absolutely exhausting. I have really bad issues with feeling body symmetry and needing to feel like my body is even; if that makes sense. Intrusive thoughts have become louder and are affecting my relationships, i feel like a burden. i’m hoping to find some support and sense of community here as i try and learn to better manage.

Hello, I'm Lon (17M) I'm experiencing symptoms of OCD since i was a kid (10). But my parents seems like they're not aware about OCD. They will just always tell me to stop doing the same thing repeatedly and control myself to stop my involuntary movements because they thought that i can control it and it's all just my habit, but no. I'm now 1yr and few months before going to college yet i'm still experiencing these symptoms and it is now worsened. From checking things repeatedly and involuntary movements to intrusive images, intrusive thoughts, arranging things perfectly. I'm now experiencing a lot of symptoms but i still can't get a therapist because i don't have the budget for that. That's why i'm trying to give myself a therapy bcs i'm so tired dealing with my OCD's, Everyday, it makes my life harder than it actually is. I'm seeing lot of ppls with 2 or 3 symptoms saying that they're also tired of it but they still can live their everyday life normally. Because mine is so hard that I can't even do normal things like drinking water without shaking my hands and opening the faucet 4-8 times. I've got almost everything of the symptoms and yet here i am suffering without any help for years and it's getting so hard and i keep getting more symptoms, maybe in a few months or couple of years i will get ALL the symptoms of OCD and the thoughts about suicide. I'm not comparing my OCD to the other ppls OCD. My grammar is so fucked up in this post because my ocd says that I can't use some specific grammars or else something will happen after sharing my story. I really hope you guys understand.

I’ve got hocd and I need help I don’t know who I am anymore I keep getting intrusive thoughts and they are not going away I don’t think I handle this anymore. I want to stay straight I don’t want to be gay . Any advice. My thoughts are confusing me I’m getting thoughts about boys and girls and I like boys but why am I getting thoughts about boys isn’t it supposed to be the opposite . I’m confused I don’t like girls