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I feel like im just a gay and i have to accept it. It feels so real. I dont even think i have ocd. I just think ive always been gay, into girls and now i have to accept it😞

I really don’t understand why people freak out if someone thinks they’re gay / lesbian or any lgbt or they think they’re attracted to that person yes I have ocd and I have my own struggles but I genuinely do not understand the afraid I’m attracted to so and so or what if they think this I understand it’s the OCD but why is it the end of the world if someone thinks that is being LGBT+ truly that bad or looked down upon … I hope I don’t come across as rude .. thankyou

I saw my mother asleep in a triggering position and noticed her triggering bottom area and I'm afraid I was attracted, and having seen her that way. The lightning hit that area in a weird way, and highlighted it and they looked weirdly lucid like the tights that Taylor Swift wears during her live concerts. And like the tighs area was unusually big but maybe that was because of the side sleeping position. I saw something unexpected that I didn't want to see and it was triggering was bothered, but what if I was bothered because I saw something "attractive" on someone I care about and do not feel that way? If that wasn't my mother and someone else would have I liked what I saw? Like how friends joke about other friends' mothers but they don't feel discomfort because they are not theirs. So I didn't want to see that, but was I only bothered because she is my mother? And what if I thought what I saw was attractive? Even though I wasn't the fact that I felt shocked and distressed implies I saw something that would be attractive in normal situations. I don't like that at all. I didn't want to notice what I saw. I could have gone all my life without this. I'm afraid that this is going to develop in a new ocd theme and that I'm never going to see my num in the same way I feel so sad about this My mother is pure and now my mind has degenerated her too. I feel hopeless. There has been times that I saw her in like similar situations but I didn't "notice" like I did this time. I'm afraid that I found it attractive this time. I can't live with this. I was shocked at what I saw. I'm trying to recollect what I thought and what I felt at that moment. I couldn't believe my eyes. I noticed too much. When I go past her I feel weird. I feel like things can't be normal again and when I see her I'm reminded of that trigger experience, it feels like I can't act normal anymore as if nothing happened, I get reminded of what I saw. I'm afraid that I can't see her normally anymore after this. And I'm afraid that this will stick and become a new theme. I didn't need this. I don't know what to do. What do I do.

Since some months ago, I've been dealing with intrusive thoughts, rumination and stress to the extreme, not letting me enjoy my life. It is not the first time that something like this happens. I had HOCD 5 years ago, and somehow after a year it stopped, but some months ago it came back, not only that HOCD, but new ones have appeared. It was always like this, there was an intrusive thought about losing control and doing or thinking things that I don't like triggered by random and inofensive events and then I would start ruminating and checking 24/7 for weeks. The worst part is that because of college I don't have time to talk loudly about my thoughts alone as I would like, so they keep persisting while other appears While my HOCD is less invasive now. Other OCDs have taken the spotlight, like fearing about becaming a conspiracionist who denies science. This one derived to another about losing my interest in dinosaurs which are my passion, I know maybe it sound stupid, but it was so real, it was seeing a Dino and don't be able to enjoy it, becaming stressed or not feeling joy like before...And well I should have things clear before it is too late if I wanna pursue my dream of becoming a paleontologist. Also, I had recently one OCD about "society influence in the world", like, I felt that since culture molds our values I wasn't being myself and that I had a "bad inner nature" althought I like helping people and I have always tried to be kind with all people. This derived in being scared about being bad for the sake of "being my trueself" and losing my empathy just because thinking about this Could anyone give me advice???

Hello, does anyone else have a fear that could be aromantic or asexual. Can ocd make you fear that? I feel like it can. Ever since I found out about what aromantic/asexual was I've just been panicking ever since, like really bad. My brain latches onto past experiences and tells me "hey this is proof!" I can't really remember if I had crushes during childhood (I can't really remember my childhood In general) I think i did but my brain keeps telling me "no you faked it, you have never felt attraction you just picked out your crushes" which is common for aromantics. I'm certain I've experienced crushes throughout highschool, mostly on celebrities but again my brain keeps telling me I faked them and that lm delusional. I did once lie to friends when I was like 8 that I have a crush on someone at school becuase they did, (I knew at the time this is isn't how crushes worked, I just genuinely wasn't interested in most of the boys at school) this is making me very scared because this is something that most aromantics said they did (lie about or pick their crushes) but I only did it once still this experience is the reason my brain keeps telling me that I'm aromantic/asexual. Now everytime I feel like I'm developing a crush or feelings for a guy I no longer feel excited or happy I feel like I'm faking it and that I've been lying to my self and that I only find them asethically pleasing and I'm forcing all of my feelings and crushes. I really don't think im asexual/aromantic but I don't know, my brain keeps telling me otherwise and I feel I've been living a lie. It doesn't help I've never had a boyfriend and I'm very introverted so my brain uses that against me to.i also struggle to remember feelings I the past so that's doesn't help either. Am I living a lie? I don't know. Sorry this was long. I was just wondering if anyone can relate and what I can do to get over this.

i am dealing with SOOCD at the moment im married and have 3 kids this theme has been coming and going for months now and makes me question even more if i am gay ,my thing is when i look at my husband i feel nothing no attraction which makes me so anxious and i am constantly looking at him and checking how i feel and makes me even more anxious because i then think ok then you are gay and are indenial the feelings just seem sooo real though i have even tried accepting that i am gay which gives me panic attacks any help on this theme please?🥲

I really feel I misunderstood my attraction to men with seeking attention and empathy from them , i have evidences 😭

I have reached a point where I can’t see any family member without a groinal response. I know I’m not supposed to give it any investigation but it’s to the point where it’s all consuming. Any tips on ‘un’feeling?

Many times i feel like ocd is just a label that i use for anything and even real problems. The idea that we just ignore everything and dont think about it is not possible cause if you have a problem and that problem generates thoughts and feelings, you have to work on it. Cause how do you know if thats ocd or not? We say we dont try to figure it out, but if its generated because of a real problem, how we know if its something we leave there or we have to work on it. I will give you many exemples, my problem is now with my sexual needs. It got strong cause one day i just lost control and i engaged in some sexual thoughts and that made the sexual need stronger. So this is a real problem right? Its clear that i have to work on it, now i noticed that the sexual need got to a point where it gave me feelings about things that are really bad, basically what pocd is about, and you can say its ocd, but i have a real problem which is repressed sexual needs, and how do i know that it didnt got that bad that it gives me those feelings? Its easy to say its ocd cause i dont like it but i heard stories that there were some who didnt wanted to do it but still did it to relase the feeling. Another exemple, i say i have harm ocd and suicidal ocd, but what i experienced now was what i read before about suicidal people, i got angry at my family, i felt like i dont get attention, so i had thoughts aboit something bad happening to me so than i would get attention. It even jumped in my mind when i was so angry that if i would die they would feel bad now that they didnt gave me attention, and these are very similar to people who do self harm to get attention. When i shared this to my therapist she said im like these people, cause i want attention. Maybe the attention part is true, but i dont want to harm myself to get attention... Many times these suicidal, self harm thoughts are very similar to real suicidal thoughts, cause the whole situation is like its actually real cause im angry or im sad because of something, i feel a little hopeless for a second and because all these situations i cant say its just ocd, ignore it... For me its like there are signs that might show that these are actually real feelings and thoughts and then i spin over it. And about religious ocd, i spin about sin, we all have sins and we will never be free from them, so when i sin i feel shame and sometimes i dont know if its real sin or ocd, but i just cant say its ocd when i know i have a sin battle, but then accepting that i did sin just makes me tired mentally cause this is happening alot now...

I saw a TikTok video talking about “aesthetic attraction” and now I keep having to try and prove that I’m really attracted to women. I’m trying my hardest to analyze the types of attraction and make sure I’m feeling the right one, and it’s hard because I’ve already panicked about this before but ever since I saw that video I’m constantly worried that I’m somehow faking it or not really attracted to women but just don’t know it yet. Anyone else relate?

I don't want to be a pedophile. I don't want to hurt minors in any way. I only tried to help this person with their OCD and nothing more. I looked through the messages and I've been nothing but helpful to this person but I let them know what made me uncomfortable and things I wouldn't do. I knew better. I knew what to do and not to do, but I still feel wrong about this. At the same time, I don't think it would be wrong if a therapist helped an underaged person with intrusive thoughts that were sexual in nature. I don't know. I just don't want to be a bad person. I haven't had a spike in anxiety like this in a long time. It hurts. It sucks. I don't know what to do right now.

I was doing so good the last few months. I was beginning to be social again, hang out with friends, watch tv and listen to music, and suddenly it feels like I’m back in square one. I watched a triggering TikTok, I turned 29 recently, I got drunk, and feel like I’m going through a flare. I’ve been here before, but it’s so scary when you’re in the thick of it. I don’t want to be bisexual or a lesbian. There’s nothing wrong with it, I have queer friends and they’re amazing. It’s just not what I want. OCD makes me feel like I’m in denial or that I’m lying to myself. I will get through this. It’s just so hard, the doom feeling of what if I have to rely on my family and never find a career or get married because of this.

I can't tell the difference between a normal thought and a intrusive thought .....what this mean

i've always loved kids and they bring me so much joy and light and laughter into my life, i was an infant teacher at a daycare for years before going to college. i've always wanted a family , a husband, kids, a cat (already have my baby boy kitty witty), a nice dog or two in a nice house with a job i love or to stay at home with the kids blah blah blah . now that i've been struggling with HOCD i'm terrified. i'm scared that if i have children one day i'm gonna go into psychosis and act on intrusive thoughts which i would never ever ever ever do but it's a scary feeling . it has made my whole view on my future change so drastically. im scared of having kids now even tho it was my dream for so long. when i was a kid if anybody asked what i wanted to be when i grew up i would say "a mommy" . it's just kind of annoying. anyone else struggling with this ?

This post largely revolves around my current themes of SOOCD and ROCD. I began my OCD recovery journey this year in late February. Just a few weeks ago I received my conquers badge and felt on top of the world but with a forced change of therapists and becoming a little lax on my ERP’s I have had a tougher few days, but nowhere near as bad as it was (although I have stood on the edge of that hole wanting to jump down) This journey has seen me learn many things, some of which have helped me prevent other themes from riding back up. One recent one was actually after taking a test at work. My top strengths largely revolve around execution. In summary, seeing a problem, figuring out what is wrong, what needs to be done, and fixing it. Guess what has no fix though? While I have gotten better at accepting that I do have this terrible disease that causes unnecessary doubt, it’s also hard as this involves putting my best strengths to the side, but that I also need to. Other things I have learned include: - Not basing judgements off of a feeling because feelings aren’t reliable and constant - That I lack self compassion and don’t let myself be a human a lot of the times - That I crave control, but only for myself and that a lot of my fears, OCD related or not, are things I don’t have control over. Ex. My orientation, if I might die tomorrow, if the world around me is a simulation, even my fear of flying is because if we crash I can’t do anything about it. In my recovery though I still have a fair share of repetitive thoughts, in relation to SOOCD and ROCD. If you have read this far, and have any advice or see how I may be going the wrong way about something, I do greatly appreciate any feedback - Am I just using OCD as an excuse? - Do I even have OCD? - That dude over there is good looking, that means I’m gay - My mind changing a woman in a daydream or when I’m laying with my wife to a man - Wishing to go back to how I was - And more Largely when these thoughts pop up, I try to accept them as much as I can or give an answer OCD doesn’t like. Am I using OCD as an excuse? Maybe. Do I even have OCD? Probably not. Will I go back to how I was? Probably Not. I still have a lot of progress to be made, and it definitely sucks in the meantime being someone that wants to cross something off his list as soon as possible, but I do know I can make it through it, even if I had a twinge of doubt while writing that. I also wanted to include some tips I have learned for others dealing with a theme of SOOCD and ROCD that may be able to help them - If you’ve read stories or questions about how do I know if I’m gay? And have seen responses from people with vague answers like, if you get this feeling in your stomach when you see x person it means you’re y orientation, or I didn’t realize I was x orientation originally but looking back I had thoughts about y persons. These are not helpful responses for someone with OCD because you have OCD and they don’t. As you’ve probably heard everybody has intrusive thoughts, and we all process information differently and what works for someone without OCD will not work for someone with OCD. They can make those decisions and have those thoughts and go about their day, we cannot. Even if in the moment you can, like an annoying fly it will buzz by again. - If you look back and think, why didn’t I react this way when I had this thought? You just didn’t. You processed and handled a thought in a way you want to and only OCD wants you to figure out the meaning behind why then and not now - Someone dealing with SOOCD isn’t afraid of being a different orientation, they’re just afraid of…. When I was in a really bad spot, this statement terrified me because I was afraid of being gay. Through time I have learned that I’m not afraid of being gay, honestly if I was I wish I had known in grade school. It took a while to see but during your recovery I bet you too come to see that you’re not afraid of being a different orientation, just something else to what you have known, and know yourself to be - Last one is that everyone’s OCD is different and that OCD can do anything. If you feel the urge to ask, does anybody else experience… If no one responds to your question, it means absolutely nothing. Even if someone else hasn’t experienced that, it does not mean OCD can’t do that because OCD can do anything and will target everyone different. OCD just wants you to feel like you’re the exception to the rule and wants to find that one bit to latch onto to sew that doubt.

I am mostly recovered from HOCD but my issue now seems to be that I’m very obsessed with my appearance and if I look like a lesbian or not. I’m not super feminine looking and I work from home so some days I just really don’t care to do my hair or makeup and I’m fine with that and I don’t believe that makes me less feminine. But I can tell a difference between the way my straight feminine friends look when they don’t try vs how I look when I don’t try. It’s both true but also not helpful for me to compare. Idk how to not be obsessed about this.

Just watched a tiktok of someone realising they are gay after 5 years in a straight relationship. Its really triggered me, my ocd is now telling me that’s me. I have been with my boyfriend for 5 years and he is my best friend as well as boyfriend. Saying that tiktok made them realise they were gay and they never knew before. I hate this ocd so much anyone else get severely triggered by this.

I keep getting thoughts like ‘what happens if it isn’t OCD’. Recently I keep getting random thoughts that pop into my head that happened YEARS ago that somehow ‘prove my ocd wrong and that i am gay’, these are memories that i haven’t thought about for years and when i did i didn’t think anything of them because i didn’t think that it proved i was gay because that never crossed my mind but now my mind is making into this whole thing and it’s like proof that it’s real. I haven’t been diagnosed with OCD or anything so this constant doubt is debilitating. How do you know if it’s OCD? I do have history of repetitive behaviours as a child but not fully fledged OCD but in the last couple of years this obsession that i might be gay has been debilitating. I don’t know how much longer I can deal with this. I just want to enjoy life without a constant voice in my head.

Anyone else with SOOCD struggle with seeing an attractive person of the same sex? When I notice they are attractive I started getting shaky and nervous, and I’m scared that what if that means I’m attracted to them because they are an attractive person. Any tips?

My SOOCD journey started around 2017 when my boyfriend and I broke up because I no longer wanted to be with him and remember thinking omg what if it’s because I’m a lesbian and I was dreaded with anxiety and fear. I kind of forget about it after that tbh. My partner and I got back together and I struggled to enjoy sex. I think because we had a friendship (originally ended on good terms) I found it hard to get back into a sexual relationship. Anyway cut long story short in 2020 during lockdown we weren’t having sex, I just had a really low sex drive and if I’m honest I think it was because we didn’t have a very good sex life, we didn’t explore one another etc and so I surpassed sex for a good few months and that’s when the intrusive thoughts started. I became so poorly, I lost almost two stone from stress and anxiety, I had panic attacks and if anything it brought me and my partner closer because I DID NOT WANT TO LOSE HIM AGAIN. This went on for a good 18 months, I was diagnosed by a NOCD therapist with OCD and I started to accept and do ERP. Around 2022 things started to really look up for me. It was like my life was getting back to normal. I got into my fitness, my partner and I were really enjoying sex, having it more frequently and we still are. We are in a very very very good place. I’m actually currently pregnant and we’re expecting our first bundle of joy. However the last few weeks I’ve had some thoughts again, dreams too but this time not as much with the anxiety. It’s really upsetting me because with the anxiety not being there it’s making me think am I enjoying them? Do I want to explore that? I’m very good with the uncertainty now and I always tell myself ‘Ahhh well you’ll never fully know so don’t stress yourself out’ kind of thing. I’m wondering if the surge of hormones has triggered it. I don’t know I just don’t want to go back into a spiral. I love him so much. He is my rock and my best friend. We have a great sex life but the dreams and thoughts are so frustrating.