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I keep seeing people say that thoughs are just thought amd if they were real i wouldn’t feel this bad about them (not liking my partner not feeling anything, rocd feeling real, etc.) or that you will know when its real bc it would feel clear and in afraind im preteding and yhat someday i will find out my rocd is actually real or that im in denial rn . i have the most beautiful relationship and boyfriend that loves me and tries to help me and i feel very bad and so scared

Hey everyone, I’ve had this app and responded to some people before but never posted I don’t think. My name is Matt and I’ve been diagnosed since October but have been struggling since I was 11. Now struggling is not choice words for ocd especially since I’ve gone long periods without having intrusive thoughts or unrelenting compulsions. But I’ve had bouts of it since then, I had a worry once that I was showing symptoms of ALS, and this came after the bout where I thought I must’ve contracted rabies. But my OCD themes had remained similar recently. I’ve gotten so much better but the start of January I fell into a trap and got stuck for a couple days, I’m now back to normal, but my fear is going back again. It almost feels like relapsing, there is this woman I love so much that I haven’t had the opportunity to tell but I feel that my ocd will get in the way of any positive relationship we’d have which would be devastating. I want to tell her but I’m worried what happens when I get like this again? I’d hate to have her worry about me. And I hate to be alone but I’m also not wanting to cause any harm to her for not being able to be in a relationship. I’m feeling alright now but I don’t know what the future holds. I got to ask John Green advice he has for OCD, he said “firstly im not a medical professional I’d recommend seeing one” “and secondly remember ocd tries to take things away from you and take your joy away, make sure to remind yourself that things are good, and doctor pepper is good.” Idk if that would help anyone here I just thought about adding it TL:DR feeling good, worried Ill stop, In love with a girl, afraid of upsetting her, Doctor pepper is good Thanks guys

i actually think i’m gonna throw up i searched this just before to see if anyone on here has said similar and they’re all about being lesbians and that’s making me spiral as that’s one of my themes and i know im not one. what i searched was about never having orgasmed i’m 19 now and have been on antipsychotics since 15 but even before then i’d never felt horny or aroused even when trying anything to myself down there i got with my boyfriend at 16 and have been with him ever since and despite him trying i can never orgasm i still don’t feel a thing when i try on my own and sex feels good i guess but like pressure like pain that feels good and i know it’s meant to feel like more when he tries to like rub my c it just hurts it doesn’t feel nice and i feel so embarrassed and ashamed and i hate it so so so much that im like this is there a medical reason for this? i want to blame the antipsychotics so bad but i know before them at 15 and below i never felt anything either and this is making my sexual orientation ocd spiral and saying that subconsciously im a lesbian even though i know im not and my ocd is just trying to latch onto anything this is making me feel so suicidal atm idk what to do

So, my brain has latched onto this cuz it’s just past the holidays and Valentine’s Day is coming up Whenever my bf gets me a gift I worry I’m not excited enough. I love the gifts he gets me but it doesn’t fill me with excitement or overwhelming joy. I smile and hug him and say thank you. I’ve always been like that. Before I met him too. I do get excited if someone I have a crush on gets ne a gift (ie him) I got pumped about it before we started dating but once we started dating it was less excitement and just appreciation cuz he knows me well I think? Same goes for flowers. I’ve never gotten flowers from anyone. But when he got me flowers I got anxious at first cuz it was a surprise that he got mw them. He literally just turned around and boom. Bouquet of tulips. I stared at them for ages honestly. They were beautiful and I felt beautiful when he gave me them even tho I was in joggers and a sweater lol. He got me carnations over the summer and this was when my ROCD was bad so my brain was like “when you see him break up with him” then I saw the flowers and thought no I can’t do that. I don’t wanna do that. I’m worried I’m not getting enough butterflies in my stomach when it comes to gifts. He got me an incredibly personal gift for my birthday, a book that I love and snacks (tight budget. We’re uni students lol) but it made me so happy. I smiled genuinely. I was awkward but I’m always awkward when opening gifts in front of people. Idk. When he gave me gifts before we started dating maybe it gave me that adrenaline rush cuz it was like oh shit maybe he likes me back omg omg (clearly that was true) And my brain uses the lack of excitement about gifts (I do get excited just not very jumpy. He’s never gotten me smthn I hated.) as reasoning that a) I don’t love him and b) I’m gay and would appreciate a gift from a gf more. But even when my female friends give me gifts (Ik not the same but shh, evidence) I’m the same way. Even when family gets me gifts. Idk if it’s the fact I never got that many gifts growing up or I’m just socially awkward opening things in front of people but it’s panicking me a tad. This is making me worry that I won’t be excited about what he gets me for Valentine’s Day and our anniversary (the day before) and im gonna fake my reaction (which I don’t wanna do, I love him and his gifts) and that when he proposes in the future I won’t be excited about it. I have told him this. When I get anxious I analyze and it makes it hard for me to be excited cuz im analyzing if im excited enough. My brain is like you feel ugh around him. No I don’t?? I feel OOOOO around him. I don’t get butterflies in my stomach tho which is another place of panic. I feel them more in my groin. And I can tell they feel good. When I’m in a good headspace it’s when I say I love you or when I’m writing poetry about him. They’re different than arousal tho I think. I know we can get groin responses because of excitement. But my brain suddenly thought: what if this groinal response has been anxiety this whole time and you’ve never liked him and you’ve been mistaking anxiety for attraction. Speaking of arousal. Idk what sex in a long term relationship feels like. Im worried im zoning out or dissociating. Or im not attracted to him cuz I don’t feel butterflies in my stomach. Most times I have my eyes closed but im just bad at eye contact. Sex/intimacy has always been enjoyable but with this it feels like I feel nothing. Im worried I don’t like his body and it’s just comphet. Im worried I only like the pleasure I feel and not the person im doing it with. Idk. Im frekaed out. I’m worried I’m faking. I’m sweating at the thought of it. Sex has always been fun and consensual and hot. Idk. I’m worried that I’m losing attraction to him. I still get horny but sometimes my brain thinks stop cuz I won’t enjoy it. If we start going and he’s tying me up sometimes I’m checking to make sure I haven’t gotten dry or smthn but I know it’s just a matter of foreplay and outside stressors. One of which being school and also my Brain. If I’m too dry and it hurts too much I panic and break down thinking it means I’m gay. I’m also worried I don’t feel enough romantic feelings for him lately. We don’t do anything romantic besides cuddle/have sex when he’s around. School and stidying. He missed 2 exams so he’s been grinding to do the make ups so we haven’t gone out. We also play games together. I’m worried that I only feel platonic attraction to him and thag makes me a lesbian. But I can’t feel BUTTERLFIES all the time that’s unrealistic. Ik it’s subjective. Idk how to tell if I do love him romantically anymore. I’m so confused and a bit scared cuz the butterflies aren’t in my stomach thwyre in my groin occasionally but it’s not arousal. It’s just love. I do feel it in my chest sometimes and then my brain takes it and makes it anxiety making me think I’m not attracted to him. Idk. I feel insane lately I’m happy with him but am I happy/in love enough or at all??

Idk. It just feels like they pop up all the time and I think a NOCD article and a few other articles said that if it’s persistent you probably wanna do it. These thoughts also don’t cause me anxiety But I don’t think I do. I’m happy with him. I’m myself. Sure there are things that aren’t perfect but, that’s life I can’t have control over everything (even tho I want that. Trying to get that through my thick skull lol). I’m not unhappy. Maybe a bit- stressed? Idk. I’m nervous about his parents. His family is Muslim, I am not. So expectations there. And idk I think it’s putting pressure on me mentally cuz I wanna be seen as a good gf/wife/mother one day. I look at him and I feel happy and safe. Warm. I don’t feel it in my stomach or chest tho it’s closer to my groin(idk where love is felt. It used to be more in my stomach and sometimes chest but lately it’s down there. Idk if that’s an anxiety thing. It feels good compared to the anxious groinals I get. And it’s always happened) thinking about our future does make me nervous but it does also make me happy But in my head I’m not over the moon excited? Which worries me. I’m just peacefully happy. I don’t feel trapped or scared. Maybe a bit nervous as I said cuz different culture and religion but I do find his faith beautiful and comforting. Idk I feel a bit crazy. And we’re coming up on our one year, longest I’ve ever been with someone and I have no gifts no plan no nothing and I feel horrible about it. I also have 3 midterms on our one year which makes me wanna cry my eyes out. And then a small test the next day. Then readinf week. I don’t think I’m gonna go home for that cuz I wanna hang out with my bf. Idk what to do. I’m staying off Reddit for a week cuz it’s not helping. How do I know if it’s just an ocd urge or real? It doesn’t have any urgency. Ig maybe it does if I’m coming here for sn answe or ruminating about it.

i was talking to this girl for about 4-5 months (right when school started) we talked and things were amazing, it was perfect she was perfect. she made unbelievably happy. and made me feel so special. i had heard that she was a “player” before, but when she started talking to me i genuinely felt special to her we had stopped talking for a month but started again- once we did everything was back to normal, even better (distance makes the heart go fonder yk) randomly she said she didn’t want to talk anymore bc she was too busy with school + work+ sports and she couldn’t give me attention i needed/ wanted and taht wasn’t fair to both of us after we stopped talking she started posting things about how she was single for a while and it made me feel terrible i miss her every day. it’s been about 2 months. she said she could imagine us potentially talking some day but randomly one day about a month ago she blocked me. idk bro i just miss her every day. i hate walking past her at school. i hate taking out my airpods when she’s near me just so i can hear her voice. i just miss her. please. help. what do i do? i don’t even want to get over her, i still want her back. but all signs point towards we won’t talk again- but for some reason i feel like there’s still hope, a chance i still try to imagine her texts on my phone every day, every text i see i hope it’s her. i try to convince myself every day “todays the day she comes back”

I don't know. I just fucking went down a huge rabbit hole of this lady on ROCD Reddit who described something very similar to how I feel about my boyfriend. She was so scared to break up but wanted to anyway bc she wanted to explore and stuff. A lot of the stuff she wrote was things I swear I could have written myself. And I feel so anxious and sick bc she ended up leaving her boyfriend. She's not happy now but feels it's the right choice. I'm so fucking scared - bc I feel like I need to do it now. I feel in ways no ROCD sufferer has felt and I swear this is true. What the fuck??

Lately ive been questioning my sexuality due to a thought that ive had for a long time but never dwelled on the thought was about me liking my girlfriend more when she identified as a male and does that make me straight.. I still love my girlfriend and love hanging out with her but before she detransitioned i felt like our relationship wasn’t as bad and healthier and my anxiety has made me feel as if it was healthier because im only into men and that I have no interest in being with women despite me being deeply attracted to them.. I also feel like im putting on a persona or faking it just for the “trend” I used to be so certain on my sexuality but now im just stressed thinking about the possibility of being straight and I feel guilty about possibly lying to my girlfriend im constantly needing reassurance and asking people if im straight and looking back at past experiences to see if I am or not and I think the worst part is that I havent been diagnosed with OCD but ive had plenty of thoughts like this before that i’ve stressed over.

in actually scared i dont care about my partner as im supposed to and that i dont like him, i have dificulties with sexual stuff, and im scared i dont like him and that i am lying to myself, im scared. He is a very nice and caring and beautiful man, i love him (or i think i dont lnow) he dosent deserve this , i talked to him about this he knows about my thoughts, some days ago he calmed me down and used some logoc on me and i was good and now im questioning everything i feel bad for posting here i feel like im lying to him and im scared my thoughts are real

I’m not sure if anyone has felt this before. I was on a spree of confessing, to my partner of things that are irrelevant. I told him how I was walking in our apartment and I thought his brother was him and grazed his behind. I mentioned how 3 weeks into knowing him I wasn’t sure how I felt and I downloaded tinder for an hour or 2 and deleted it. I remembered something my partners friend said “hi sexy “a year ago to me at a gig but I wasn’t a 100% sure he said that and I wanted to confirm with my friend who was with me that, that was said and then so much happened after that I forgot to mention it. My partner then in turn said is there anything else you forgot to mention? It then sent me on a spiral of deep thinking. I then moved on. I dropped my partner off at his friends for drinks and then I was thinking of the last time I went out for drinks was at a work Christmas party last Christmas 12 months ago. My partner picked me up and I got so sick on the way home in the car and at home. I then manipulated myself into thinking because I was so drunk I must have done something bad and if I did I don’t remember because I was drunk. Here’s the thing. I recall the whole night. But then I was thinking hmm you don’t remember every time you went to the bathroom do you?? And then my head was like what if you hooked up with someone in the bathroom and you don’t know. And then I’m like with who? I wasn’t flirting with anyone or talking to any guys. And then my mind just imagined me doing an act with some random in the bathroom stall who I have no idea who?? It’s so ridiculous but now I feel immense guilt all the time and made myself feel like I’ve cheated on my partner. Which is so insane. And I feel horrible. And I love my partner so much and my mind keeps playing tricks on me. I don’t know what to do. I just miss how I felt before I thought this thought and now this is taking over my life.

I’m having the need to confess that I was unfaithful to my girlfriend (even though I was not) because I drank too much Saturday night and don’t remember every single second from my evening. My OCD immediately goes to that I cheated on my girlfriend and I need to confess my sins. I know it’s only OCD, but the thoughts are extremely strong. Any suggestions? Thank you, community.

My partner and I have talked about fantasizing about other people. He told me about his crush at work and that “it’s fun to fantasize sometimes.” I agreed. I told him I fantasized about someone we both know and he said it was fine because it was in my head. However I feel extremely guilty still. I’ve become obsessed with trying to figure out the exact morality of my intentions/thoughts and I’m worried that I NEED to confess the EXACT frequency/intensity to him or else I’m cheating and deceiving him. Is this just OCD or should I really confess? The guilt is pretty strong.

There was this really bad event that really hurt my ocd of “what if I’m interested in the wrong person or thing”. I mean there’s people throwing out rumors about an artist that I was interested in for years. My ocd would make me doubt “yea but what if I’m wrong when I say that all these rumors aren’t true?” I used to not doubt so much when it comes to rumors but I don’t know. There was this medication I used to take. It was for seizures. Apparently it helped with ocd and schizophrenia for the most part too and I didn’t know. So even if I doubted or if I was scared, I didn’t let it consume me and I didn’t engage in compulsions for the most part. But since I didn’t have seizures anymore, I weened off of it but then it worsened my ocd when I quit the medication which led me to have reality distortions which meant I felt like I wasn’t allowed to be interested in anything if anything is potentially problematic because of what others said. I went back on meds. I had reality distortions about my family and friends too but I’m with them all time, so it’s easier to manage and start over after meds. But stuff like being interested in artists, it takes longer because I don’t know them at all personally. I was scared of everything equally besides interests though. I just get to regain relationships with them to feel better. But yea It’s just aggravating that I have to start over on certain things for a while because I have ocd. It’s just dumb that after quitting psych meds without knowing, my ocd basically took away half my interests and I’ve lost lots and lots of friends because I had ocd and rsd about them too. I just have to accept. And I’m hoping my ocd won’t ruin relationships with my family again too.

does anyone elses false attraction go away like, the anxiety of it? and become comfort? but then the thoughts still give you the ick sometimes later? like mine will give me comfort and make me think its going away but then i still get sick seeing him?? anyone else like because i think its going away, and everything but the idea of finding him attractive drives me insane, because hes genuinely hideous. and it started over his arms? and we talked forever ago, and i just liked the attention he gave. i dont even think i had feelings, we just talked off and on for 4 months spreaded out, and so toxic, maybe it was false attraction then? idk. but ive had this thing where one little attractive trait will make me think i want the person. and everything. its so bad someone please help

when you dont get anxiety from false attraction thoughts, does it feel super real to you guys? like you want that? and if you do get the anxiety sometimes, does it tell you that your only bugged by it because your not with the person? even tho you dont wanna be with them??

with false attraction, and intrusive thoughts, does the persons name pop up all the time? like. in sentences and everything? and then when you see them you like want to avoid them, and notice every little detail if they are near, or think they are? like. mine does that and it drives me insane.

Yesterday I seized the opportunity to take a big step forward in my own ocd and personal journey. I have been going through a ton of inner turmoil over the past couple of months involving romantic feelings I have for a friend. OCD uses those feelings as evidence that I am a horrible, evil person and I am left feeling very alone. I wanted my feelings for this friend to go away. OCD says I can’t tell anyone about what I’m feeling because they would find out how awful I am. And if that happened everyone in my life would find out and I would be left alone and irredeemable. I’m steering into the abyss that ocd wants me to avoid. I started by confiding in friends and family removed from the situation. I only told them what I was feeling. No asking for reassurance. No trying to get them to say something that would counteract my anxiety. Just presenting them with what I am going through and giving up control of how I am perceived. It was agonizing but I was able to get through it. Last night I decided to tell my roommate, who is also in my friend group with this crush, about my feelings for our friend. It was very difficult to get the words out and he had a mixed response to the news. I made an effort to not seek reassurance or try to confess my perceived “misdeeds” in this situation. Just practicing relinquishing control. We were able to talk through it more. He is one of my best friends and he made me feel accepted regardless of whatever I felt, feel, decide to act/not act on. It was a very big moment for me. Not only in defying the rules ocd has set for me, but also with being more aligned with my own values and connecting with those who are important to me. Whether or not things do or don’t end up working out with this crush is separate from the issue I am attacking here. I don’t know what’s going to happen there, but I do know that if I pursue the values that are important to me and put in work to be the person I want to be, I am one step closer to finding the person I’m looking for.

is it apart of ocd basically where you rhink your like in love with every guy you meet? or you always like find yourself seeking validation from every guy? even dudes yk your not? like. idk ive always had this bad issue and i like chase the high feeling? is this apart of false attraction also or what?

I have a pretty anxious attachment style and I’ve recently started getting back out there talking to people, several guys have ghosted me after I thought it was going well but one guy is hanging on, the thing is I always feel like texting means more than it does so when I don’t get a reply I freak out! Everyone on TikTok always says if they’re leaving you on delivered for a long time it means they’re not interested, but I know that the guy I’m speaking to has surgery today and last night we were talking for ages (and really intimate/cute stuff) so I’m trying to stay calm and just say look he’s obviously really busy today leave him alone he’ll message when he can, but it’s hard because the other part of my brain keeps going “yeah well why doesn’t he message to say so, why doesn’t he wanna make sure you know” but I always do know! I’ve now formed meaning to this and freaked out. People don’t have to talk everyday for it to be something right? Idk I’m freaked out

I met my boyfriend in September 2024 in an online game called Lethal Company. At that time, he was only flirting and treating me like a friend. But, once he found out I didn’t have a bf, he started getting gushy and lovey with me. About a few weeks ir a month later, I asked him if he liked me and he admitted he did. From there, we started talking every single day just about our life and being vulnerable with one another. Mind you, I had not seen how he looked. After a month, he said he really wanted to meet me. So we FaceTimed for the first time. At first I didn’t find him that attractive, but I tried to look past that because I liked the person he was. I accepted him for who he was. He has come to see me twice. But here’s the thing, I struggle with my feelings. He’s almost 100% sure he is in love with me. He treats me right and is an amazing, loving, kind hearted soul. But, in the morning recently, I’ve been waking up with a warm and uneasy feeling in my stomach. I don’t wanna eat. I question my love for him I am I in love? I do love him. I don’t wanna lose him. I cry harder than I’ve ever cried because I don’t wanna lose him. I feel lost. I worry. I worry about him and I imagine scenarios breaking up. But I feel so comfortable with him. I feel so safe. I feel like we get along so well. But, why do I feel this way I ask myself. I want to love him with all my heart, strength, but I feel like I’m lying to myself. And I hope that it is not true because he is the type of man I want in my life. I’m so scared to lose someone as precious. I’m so scared to talk to him about it because I feel like he’ll say “then you don’t love me if you’re doubting.” Maybe I’m afraid of the truth?? What is wrong with me 😭 I don’t wanna hurt him 😭😭 he means so much to me. He’s such a good man. I’ve never met someone like him.