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does anyone else get urges to confess to a loved one when experiencing anxiety from an intrusive thought/image?i used to do this in the past but recently i have been trying to not do this, is this a compulsion?anyone else relate?

I’m new here and I’m not sure what to ask, but I feel like I need to ask something. The first thing that come up is a recent experience I had with waking up in the middle of the night just thinking my life isn’t real, like not that nothing matters, but like actually not real. It was terrifying. Other times I’ll wake up in the middle of the night just spiraling thinking that I’m just a terrible person and I’m ruining my children’s lives and my husband would be able to manage things better if I was not here. Anyways, I was wondering if there was anyone else that has experienced things like this. And how you deal with these things. I’m not sure that I even have OCD but it is something that I keep thinking about. I don’t want to assume though so I’m just trying to reach out for some community and outside thoughts. Thanks.

Hey guys so I was having really bad anxiety and asked my bf to hug me because I felt anxious and then he just started full on kissing me and looking up with me and I felt like I hated it and felt SEVERE anxiety. I feel like I truly am a lesbian, does intimacy or kissing make some of You guys anxious?? Im spiralling

I’ve worked on my ocd for years now, and more often than not it’s manageable, but when my ROCD flares up it really bothers me. I’ve been with my partner 7 years everything is fine realistically but after a triggering argument I keep getting intrusive thoughts that my partner is cheating on me. I have no proof because there’s been no real reason to believe it other than minor changes in his behavior (he recently was laid off and is a bit stressed so it’s understandable.) I can tell I’m going through ocd because it’s leading me to feel the need to check, ask reassurance, and think things through constantly. I’m trying to get over it but it makes me worry if it is really happening and I’m not having ocd. Even though my partner has never given me a solid reason to believe they would do that to me. It’s just so hard because I feel like no matter how many times he proves to me he’s not my brain still comes up with a reason it may be true. I also don’t want to be a toxic partner and I have explained to him what is happening. I just can’t seem to get any comfort and my brain continuously has been taking moments that were probably innocent and turning it into potential evidence. Has anyone else dealt with this theme? I feel like I’m going crazy

Really struggling over the past few weeks and on and off for the past 2 years. SOOCD themes are new for me and being bi or lesbian never crossed my mind until recently. I haven’t really dated anyone in almost 4 years and have had next to no desire to do so. I am questioning everything about myself and finding proof that I was really into girls this whole time. It’s distressing and I feel like I don’t know myself and that I’m lying to everyone around me. I’m afraid to be around people thinking they see what I don’t see. I can admit I’m attracted to hot women and get aroused when I see one but never in my life have I ever saw myself dating a woman. The sexual fantasy had been there but in the real world I never had crushes on girls or the desire to pursue anyone. Now I am overanalyzing my previous sex life, relationships and my ROCD with my last 2 boyfriends. I am thinking maybe it was because I never actually liked guys. I am also questioning the fact that I don’t have the same physical response to attractive men on the street as I do for some women. Something to note, when I got off my BC I started having fantasies about a male coworker I had a crush on. And it made me feel alive and like myself. So I wonder if my birth control is also fueling my OCD. I have always struggled with body image, comparing my body to other women’s, and my inability to enjoy sex fully so that also is fueling my SOOCD and making me think being with a woman would change things. Any and all advice helps! I am feeling really alone and so physically and mentally uncomfortable. I can’t talk about this theme with friends or family because I don’t want them to take this so seriously when I can’t even discern if it’s true.

Hi friends. I wanted to share a bit about my story in hopes that someone else may feel less alone or someone else can help me to feel less alone. I recently graduated college (a year ago) and moved to a city to pursue a graduate degree that is extremely accelerated. I moved away from my boyfriend, my family and most of my friends. I hate the city I live in. It’s terrifying, I’m alone 99% of the time and away from all of my support systems. Initially I was super stressed with the work load and constantly upset about my long distance relationship but now I feel numb to it. In the fall I had my first panic attack which then led to several months of extreme health anxiety. After working with a therapist this subsided and I felt at peace for a total of a week. Then ROCD fell into my lap and hit me like a truck. It was sudden, it happened so fast and scared me to death. It’s been going on for months now. I feel like I’m never present, I constantly question my love for my boyfriend. Is it real? Have I fallen out of love, do I find him attractive…etc. I also do mental compulsions. Checking, validating my feelings, looking at photos, googling OCD to make sure it’s an OCD thought and not actually my own, and seeking reassurance by telling other people. I tried to stop engaging in these compulsions but the lack of communication to my boyfriend increases my feelings of guilt which increases my beliefs that this is real and this is how I feel, despite the fact that I get so anxious over this thought. I feel like I’m at a stand still. Still in the long distance, trying to self manage, trying to avoid compulsions but hating my brain for bullying me with this conversation all day that makes me question my authenticity. I can’t determine my core fear…I am at a road block and looking for help.

Just wanting to put this out there to see if anyone else relates. I’ve always tried to pinpoint the root cause of my most frequent “themes” for my intrusive thoughts. I experience Sexual Orientation OCD, Gender OCD, Relationship OCD, Pedo OCD, Harm OCD, and few others that I feel I’ve gotten better with like Germ OCD. I think my OCD really began when I was a teenager and the more I think back and think on my themes and their impact on my mood when they happen, makes me try to relate them to some trauma I experienced as a child that causes me to question my reality and beliefs. Like being called a lesbian slur in school because I was self conscious of my weight and so I wore boy clothes because they were more comfortable and not form fitting. And I also think I may be autistic due to many reasons (like the sensory issue of clothes being too tight) but one being that I mirrored people I wanted to befriend or be liked by and this was a problem in school growing up because I tried skateboarding and sports and such to impress boys because I thought to be liked by them, I had to relate to them and it happened again in high school when I tried to be “country” and like hunting and trucks and all that to fit in more with my new school that was in a small southern town. All of this to say my whole childhood, all I’ve wanted was to be liked, loved, and to fit in and I WANTED to be feminine but femininity didn’t fit with my body size/shape and all the girly things just made me too seen and like everyone could see every flaw I had in bright neon colors. Thankfully as I’ve grown up I’ve found my own style and way of expression and embracing my femininity and curves. I’ve let loose on my personality to be my authentic self but my thoughts throw me back to when I dressed and acted more boyish to fit in and get boyfriends saying “you’re not feminine, you’re masculine, you’re just acting feminine” amongst other thoughts and it makes it hard to enjoy being happy with ACTUALLY being myself because my mind keeps telling me I’m faking. I also had trauma with being groomed growing up by older men and my older sister practicing kissing with me even though I didn’t want to (we are 2.5 years apart) and that gives me intrusive thoughts about finding younger people attractive (like teens much younger than me) and gives me anxiety when I’m trying to change my nieces diaper giving me intrusive thoughts like “don’t touch her there, don’t look there, you’re violating her” when in reality, I’m just trying to make sure she doesn’t get a UTI from not being wiped all the way clean after pooping. This was a much longer post than intended and I could keep going with more examples but I just want to see if anyone else can relate to this and what has helped them.

I’m so scared all the time that maybe i am just in denial. The voice started one day and it never leeft. Whenn i was at my happiest in my relationship all i could hear was a voice being like ur a lesbian, u don’t even like men, everything is fake, nothing was real u just didn’t know it. Then we broke up and all the voices went away and i was devastated because i missed him. Fast forward 2 years we made it work again and i was so happy and now i’m happy the voices are back. But when i’m with him they go away a little, i naturally gravitate toward touching him and being around him and being turned on but then when i’m alone my head is like none of it was real, you hated it, you’re a lesbian, you only like women, you’re. not attracted to men anymore. Is this normal for SOCD? or am i just in denial? i’ve only ever dated men, and i’ve really loved my partners, being intimidate has never been hard. I don’t know what to do. It’s all i think about all day when i’m alone.

1) What obsessive themes am I experiencing? I am afraid that my personal relationships are not as stable as I believe they are. I fear that others are reluctant to tell me the truth about their feelings, and they secretly dislike me and want to leave. 2) What compulsions do I perform as a result? I often ask for reassurance up to 3 or 4 times. If the reassurance doesn't provide relief, then I use a sudoku puzzle, which translates to magical thinking, as a way to check for bad omens. I can complete a sudoku puzzle in less than 2mins and 30seconds on average. I will pray that if X person is mad at me/plans to leave me, then I ask that I complete the puzzle in less than 2mins 30seconds. I perform this ritual for 30 minutes on average. 3) How long do I allow myself to sit with the uncomfortable feelings/thoughts without reacting to them? I try to sit with uncomfortable feelings and thoughts for 5 to 10 minutes before I react compulsively. 4) How much distress does this cause? Between 1 and 10 (1 being lowest, 10 being highest), I would say 3 or 4. 5) What can I do after sitting with the uncomfortable thoughts for a certain period of time, to avoid the compulsive response? I could eat a delicious and semi-healthy snack. I could drink water or make camomile tea. I could take a shower and brush my teeth. I could write a daily goals list with 3 attainable goals. I could step outside and take 3+ deep, slow breaths. I could do other small acts of self care, such as make my bed. 6) Three attainable goals: - Take a shower and brush my teeth - Call 3 friends - Attend a support group THE REASON I AM POSTING THIS IS TO SHARE WITH OTHER PEOPLE MY EXPERIENCE IN HANDLING OCD SYMPTOMS. I WELCOME EVERYONE TO SHARE THEIR EXPERIENCES AS WELL IN THE COMMENTS! HAVE A GOOD DAY!

Idk if I have ocd or not I just want to know about 4 months ago I started getting harmful thoughts to loved ones im very scared because I would never hurt anyone. These thoughts scare me so much because they are so vivid and I have like these urges as if I’m going to do it. What is this? Am I ok? Am I going crazy please someone help it feels like I can’t take it anymore living this way with these thoughts haunting me day and night.

Long post ahead. I’ve been with my now-husband for almost 10 years. To sum it up, I used to be really jealous of girl friends he had and I would have severe constant thoughts that he was cheating on me or I would be SO worried that he liked someone else. I would ask for constant reassurance that he still liked me or that he didn’t like anyone else. Fast forward to a few years ago (still just bf/gf at this time) we would argue a lot. Mostly because he was really bad at communicating and would reschedule plans/ditch our plans often to hang out with his group of friends (guys) and that was super upsetting to me. Finally I had my last straw and I thought about breaking up with him just out of anger, but I couldn’t bring myself to do it because we had been together for so long and I wanted to marry him and I tried to picture myself with someone different but I couldn’t. I had a guy friend I talked to frequently (I’ve known him since middle school, had a little crush on him in middle school but have been just friends ever since through high school and college) my bf was aware of this since I disclosed that to him immediately. Never crossed my mind in the 7 years we’d been dating but suddenly I had thoughts of “what if you hang out with your guy friend and you kiss and you like it” “what if he kisses you and that’s fine because I bet your bf has kissed other girls” because I was so obsessed with the fact he liked this girl friend he had. Anyways I blocked some of those thoughts out of my head and I remember thinking “oh no this is why people cheat” and it scared me. But then a few days later I remember being so angry at the situation again and I’d think about “well you like your guy friend you get along well, so why don’t you just date him” and I was so angry at my bf and I thought fine I will leave maybe if he doesn’t propose. I said something flirty to my guy friend to illicit a response and maybe I could make my bf jealous and then if I decided to break up with my bf I could just say fine I’m going to be with someone else but my guy friend didn’t take it that way and I didn’t do it again because I didn’t want him to think I liked him while I had a bf or wanted to be with him. But then still had more thoughts about it and just leaving for someone else until shortly after this situation when my bf proposed. I said yes and was so happy and immediately forgot everything I thought. Now fast forward to 8 months before our wedding, I started having extreme thoughts that I didn’t love my fiancé anymore. I saw a tiktok about emotional cheating and micro cheating and this sent me into a spiral thinking this is what I’ve done with my guy friend. I read back through every message I’d ever sent to him and deleted them because I didn’t know that sending TikToks to friends could be considered cheating. I also came across the flirty message I sent months ago and couldn’t even remember why I sent it so I just moved past it. Well eventually I started severe rumination and thinking about emotional cheating and I confessed this to my fiancé who actually is the one who recommended therapy to me. I slept all the time to stop my thoughts. He like didn’t even care about what I did but I feel like the scum of the earth. I then got diagnosed with OCD (not just because of this but because I did almost everything else on the “checklist” for my whole life) but then I felt like that was an excuse. I still sometimes feel like he doesn’t understand the gravity of the situation in my mind. My thoughts of “what if those feelings were real?” “You obviously liked him enough to think about that so you did actually like him and your feelings were real” etc. I am obsessed with my husband and don’t want to leave for anyone else. I just want to move on but I can’t help but feel like I don’t deserve my husband even though I told him he could break up with me many times before the wedding because I would understand but he said that never even crossed his mind. I feel so unfaithful and I’m having a really hard time.

I'm so afraid that I've harmed my best friend because I'm 2 years older and I turned 18 before him. We met online when we were in middle school and we're strictly platonic, no romantic feelings there, we've helped each other get through so much together and I'm just so afraid that while I was 18/19 I managed to fuck everything up because I was legally an adult before him even though I was still just a stupid teenager. I've asked him several times if I've ever hurt him and he's said no but the thought persists.

I’ve been dealing with a terribly overwhelming bout of OCD for a few months now, possibly the worst I’ve ever had in my 12 years of having it; which is what led me here. I’ve always had doubts in my long term relationship, but none that have been quite this vicious, making me question my sense of safety with this sweet man who has ALWAYS made me feel safe and comfortable. It picks on every aspect of our relationship, and any moment it can to make me question if he’s actually secretly a bad person. This thing has a chokehold on me and it is so scary and debilitating, especially with it targeting something I care so deeply about. And now weeks into therapy, I almost feel that unpacking it is making me feel worse and my OCD is finding all sorts of new things to pick on. Any comforting words would be appreciated… I’m trying really hard to work through this.

Before anything is commented please be kind and don’t tell me to “leave”. I am on here bc I am scared and worried over my thoughts. My boyfriend has betrayed me , (not going to get into the details but will say there was nothing physical that happened) but I do forgive him bc I know during the time it happened I was a not so great partner either. He doesn’t blame me for anything at all, and is extremely regretful for what he has done. We both are committed to strengthening our relationship and growing. That being said, my old OCD thoughts keep coming up , probably from being stressed, and now I keep worrying that these thoughts are now real bc since I got betrayed now every intrusive thought I have about my boyfriend that I literally know I want, is now real.

I’m scared that I cheated on my boyfriend. There was a woman part of an organization who came to do a demonstration for the kids I work with. I thought the organization was cool and I also thought the lady was attractive even tho I gave a bf. I wanted to look up the organizations site because I was genuinely interested in the work they do. Then my anxiety said what if you’re just looking it up to see her. I yelled at myself that I wasn’t and I am just looking it up to see the organization. When I got on the website I saw her and I did admire a picture of her. For maybe no more than 10-15 seconds (maybe less I don’t remember my ocd might be exaggerating). I remember thinking this is bad you should look away but in my head I was upset at my ocd and I was also attracted to the girl in the picture so I was like I DONT CARE and kept looking. I felt really guilty after and I told my bf what happened. He said it’s fine but now I can’t stop obsessing over whether I made a conscious decision to cheat or not. I feel like if I did I would remember this whole things clearly which I don’t. Please any advice would be appreciated 🙏🏽

hey guys, this is going to be long but i’m trying to heal and i really really would love advice. i’m looking for help with confession ocd in romantic relationships. my question is, how do i stop myself when i have the feeling “wow this is something i REALLY need to confess. no it’s actually important this time” even though the logical part of my brain is saying all it will do is probably cause an argument and isn’t important. how do you get past that feeling of “i HAVE to say this thing because they NEED to know?” that feeling of it being so important. another question is if you do confess and you struggle with false memory, i feel like a lot of the time i say “i might have” it “i think i…”. this feels unfair to my bf because he never knows what’s real and what isn’t and NEITHER DO I!!! most of the stuff i confess is from around 2 years ago, so small details i don’t remeber. false memories can also make literally anything feel real. so when i months later after confession remever the REAL answer (i DID do this when i said i MIGHT have) how to stop from RE confessing?? sorry this was so long but i’m really trying to heal and i REALLY need advice. thank you guys!!

What do you do when nothing feel right. Like for example I feel like everything triggers me, everything feels weird, sounds, actions, my room. I feel like i will go insane any second and I cant enjoy anything, I cant be happy about my upcoming new job or events. I have OCD about me having shizhophrenia and omg it has ruined my life, it has only been about 3 weeks, but it has got me complitely. I want my old self back and I am scared that my loved one will leave me bc i am not getting better. I really want a new theme as funny it sounds, because even 2 years ago harm OCD was't this hard. I feel like something in me is changing, but i dont want it 😭 I will start therapy in the end of August and I just started taking medication. But for now I cant imagine this stopping and I fear that it will go downhill from this, i cant see me doing better, because if i have a good day I rember how i felt yesterday or when I had a panic attack and I cant get enough of it, i always remember those feelings and I start to worry about it over and over again.

I have done lots of bad things in my past and I mean like EXTREMELY unacceptable things from when I was a kid up until 16 (I’m almost 18 right now) My main theme of ocd is moral scrupulosity ocd and ROCD. Most of the time it’s partner focused. (Met my partner when he was 17, he is now 18) When I first met my boyfriend a year and 4 months ago, he used to be really immature for probably the first half of the relationship. He said slurs he shouldn’t say sometimes because he used to play games with people who thought it was okay to say certain things so he picked it up. A few months ago I brought it up to him and had a conversation. He has since stopped saying slurs (apart from one we can both reclaim because we are neurodivergent) he said I made him realise it was wrong and he never really had anyone to tell him that the things he said were wrong in the past years he played video games where people would say extreme stuff. I see people online getting cancelled for slurs and more etc (probably rightly so if the person thinks it’s okay and they are a grown adult who should know better) but even situations where one person said one offensive thing 3+ years ago and never did it again they end up getting cancelled. My ocd gets triggered when I see people being cancelled and people saying “people who do that will never change” “ they deserve to be hated forever” “they don’t deserve forgiveness” I see others in comments saying stuff like “come on they are/were a child/teen, they will learn, they just need educating not cancelling” and people attack them. I believe that my Boyfriend has changed and whenever I speak about people saying slurs they can’t reclaim and how it’s wrong he agrees. I would say he has matured a lot since the start of our relationship. Is it right to think that sometimes cancel culture is stupid and the people who take it to extreme levels are closed minded and refuse to accept the fact that people can change? (Eg. Cancelling someone for something they realised was wrong and stopped) Do people need to be more open minded and forgiving/understand the situation sometimes?

Does anyone else struggle with a fear of sex/sex avoidance? I’m 23 and have dated quite a bit yet when it comes to having sex, I always pull the brakes before it can happen. I’m too scared of the intrusive thoughts and that having sex would confirm my fears. It’s ruining my ability to have meaningful romantic relationships. I feel like I’m completely alone in this. :// It’s not normal to avoid sex like I do.

Just would like to talk to someone. I know I'm really creepy, so I understand if people don't wanna answer, but I honestly have no one to rely on, and I don't know how much longer I can go on like that.