Welcome to
the NOCD Community

Ever since I caught my... now-ex, I guess... having cheated, and I worked the nerve to talk to him and break it off in a surprisingly strong and boundary-concious way for myself, I have been looking at housing areas around me. I can't move out soon even if I wanted to since I want to apply for disability and that can take a year or so, I have no job and no saved up money because we used it all when he had no job/refused to get one and was hoping it would be quick and easy for him to find one (took him 4 months). I have no car so I was/am checking mover services over and over. I keep looking at the bus routes in the city to make sure the apartments that are available NOW are around them, which I know makes no sense because there is job guarantee they will be available later. Which... leads me to checking again the next day. Or later that day. All stemming from discomfort that he is just still lying even "just as roommates" and it is a trigger for my ROCD even without being in a relationship anymore. I am so frustrated. This would be my first time moving out on my own. The uncertainty and fear and distrust here is eating at me but I have no friends or family to go to so, I'm just... stuck.

I keep thinking about every little thing my bf does or says, I keep thinking he sounds and talks weirdly, and I keep thinking he does weird things or that he’s not tough or masculine enough and whenever I see an attractive man I stay playing scenarios in my head where the attractive man has the same “flaws” my bf does to see how I would feel if another man did it, like I’m trying to make the “flaws” feel normal and ok. And whenever I’m on the phone with my bf he’ll say something in a way that seems “weird” to me and I can’t stop thinking about it and playing it over trying to recreate the inflection and tone in my head so I can see if his inflections and tones sound normal enough or manly enough or if his idiosyncrasies are odd or abnormal or unattractive. But what’s worse is now I’m not feeling the overwhelming waves of panic that I used to have when I had these thoughts. Now they’re just thoughts, but I still feel bothered by them because they focus on “flaws” that bug me. I don’t know what to do. I worry that it’s not OCD anymore. I’m not currently diagnosed either which doesn’t help. I feel like a liar, like I’m busting using ROCD as an excuse to avoid the truth.

I’m so tired of these thoughts going through my mind. It’s like every day these thoughts are just in the back of my mind. I typically have a strong hold on these thoughts and don’t let them bother me but the past two days it’s been hard. It’s at the point where it feels like I’m lying to myself. I know deep down that I don’t ever want to be in a same-sex relationship. This thought doesn’t make me feel good. I’m just tired of the thoughts.

has anyone else done this? today i got presented with one of my triggers, but when i first saw it i didn’t immediately feel the feeling i’d grown to associate with being triggered. normally had i been confronted by my trigger, i’d get a pit-like feeling in my stomach, heart racing, anger, and dissociation. today i looked at it and thought “huh, i don’t really feel triggered, but i know i should be. should i be mad at this?” the nature of my trigger is one that concerns my relationship, and this is where i made a mistake. i told my partner, “i can’t decide if i should be mad about this or not.” and that opened the flood gates to a 2hr long conversation surrounding my obsession and triggers. i feel really bad for not taking the opportunity to disengage from my habitual response. i didn’t feel triggered initially, but i triggered myself out of habit, because i “should” be triggered. i feel like recently my ocd has been dying off, at least this particular obsession. i haven’t really been doing any of my compulsions, and it’s not on my mind as often. regardless, i’m still really scared to accept that it is what it is and it’ll always be there. when given the opportunity to disengage or stay, i chose to stay. i hate that i did that. it felt like an aha moment, though. maybe this was necessary. a fight with my partner over something i chose to be upset about because it has historically been upsetting. do you ever feel like your ocd tries to get your attention even more when it’s dying off? how do you proceed without reaffirming the ocd when presented with a circumstance like this one? do you ever trigger yourself out of habit rather than because it really strongly bugs you ?

Can someone please tell me I’m not alone? Can you share your experience with getting intrusive S3xual thoughts please Because I feel like it’s not talked about and it’s something I really struggle with and I’m scared I’m the only one getting these disturbing and fucked up thoughts and scared I want them and that it’s actually me and not my ocd For example : I feel like I’m constantly constantly getting S3xualised thoughts of people I’m related to especially when I’m trying to have S3xual time

recently my partner has been going into intense spirals like really intense she's on medication but stopped ERP a few months ago because she wasn't handling it well and although I've encouraged her to go back she's very reluctant often the spirals are focussed on something benign like making sure she gets the perfect coffee order and she'll spend a few hours doing the order while I support her best I can but occasionally she will go quiet for a couple of hours before exploding into a rage typically how I am unfaithful or deceptive and it can last the entire day (I wouldn't consider myself either of these things and on any other day she wouldnt either) but occasionally she just explodes no matter what I try she cannot be communicated with in this state but will demand to be near me the entire time and it's getting to be alot she's becoming vindictive and mean in these spirals and I guess I'm just wondering if this is like normal?

My anxiety has been terrible everyday for 8 months straight due to engagement and getting married. I am now a month away and everytime I see my partner I start really freaking out over height. The anxiety is so intense nothing is helping. I just cry everyday. It doesn’t feel like ocd but real thoughts. What do I do:( please help me.

Can SOOCD start from a feeling of false attraction? Feeling like I’m the only one whose started this way making me think I’m in denial :( another tough day of rumination!

how i get over not finding my girl attractive? ion like ts. it gives me way too much anxiety & it starts to make me feel distanced or cold towards her. honestly it makes me feel vv guilty idk . she dont deserve sb who dont find her beautiful 24/7 …genuinely whats this fix?

Does anyone else ever just get caught in bed all day to avoid everything? I know it’s avoidance, but I called out of work for really no reason besides I didn’t want to deal with my stress, anxiety and then my SO-OCD. Anyone else do this? How do you get out of this funk and back into life?

Hi this is my first time posting but I’ve been struggling lately with myself because of my ocd. Has anyone ever realized they hold a lot of resentment towards others because their life isn’t controlled by ocd? For me, I’ve recently realized I have resentment towards my siblings because they live completely normal lives (i.e. dating, friendships, work) but I struggle just to be alive some days because my ocd holds me back. I feel so incredibly guilty about it all because I find myself being jealous over their happiness when I don’t think I’ve ever even been happy. I’m not sure what to do about this and it’s affecting my relationship with my family because I’ve started distancing myself from them due to the overwhelming negative feelings.

I'm wondering if it's better or worse to tell your partner about your ocd thoughts, if you can be specific or if it's better to keep it vague bc it's so distressing to hear the specifics to people who are close or if they're like.. rocd threads. Mostly in the context of when they're strong or compulsions are strong.

Anyone have any advice for me on how I can help myself and my husband with our marriage in regard to me and my mental health and brain constantly sabotaging and making things worse? Struggling and upset…. Words of help and advice much appreciated ❤️‍🩹

does anyone here also struggle with sexuality ocd as a queer individual? i’ve mostly seen people talk about it from a heterosexual perspective but i haven’t seen or heard much from those who identify as queer or lgbtq and such. i’ve struggled with comphet (compulsive heterosexuality) since i was a kid however have always been confident from a young age that my attraction and desire in romantic relationships is exclusive to women even after trying to like & date men. though, recently, i’ve been having so many intrusive thoughts about the men i’ve interacted with. i am okay with male friendships however the thought of being with a man repulses me and makes me nauseous. i keep going back and forth in my head to “check” how i feel by forcing myself to think about situations that include men. it is becoming incredibly exhausting and i wish it would just go away. i just want to know i’m not alone

it’s been getting really hard to pray. like the thoughts are constant. i can’t concentrate, and it’s just tiring. i feel like a failure to God sometimes. I know that’s not true but still. Not to mention that praying is a compulsion of mine and i do it a lot so i’m just stressed out all the time. I feel bad if i don’t pray over the littlest things. because ik my prayer can make a big impact. i’ve had ocd for years, so none of this is new but it’s like coming at full force. how am i supposed to have a relationship with God if my prayer life isn’t doing well?

Anyone who is in a relationship, does OCD flare up when you are being sexually intimate with your partner? I have never had this experience before and I was caught off guard. However I still continued to be intimate with my girlfriend and not let OCD dictate my life. Just wanted know.

Help! If you can’t picture yours or your partners body parts and bodies perfectly in your head does that mean you’re picturing someone else’s body or body parts or that you’re turned on over someone else? Please let me know I worry because I would never get off or feel turned on by anyone else but I feel confused when I haven’t pictured something perfectly 100% does it mean what I’m worried about??

Does anyone else think TikTok is the biggest trigger, for all my themes! I also get triggered so much by ‘late bloomers’ I just watched a tik tok of a women who came out later in life and the comment section was full of so many comments like I was married for 10 years, 40 years, 20 years etc and it just triggered me so much I feel like I want to cry, even thought right now I don’t feel like one I’m so scared I’ll realise it later in life or that I’m just hiding it And it brings in so much guilt incase I am because I have a boyfriend and don’t want to ruin his life if later in life I do realise I am

I will be ruminating and checking images/thoughts/ "video like images" in my head and i always feel like some sort of.. what i call an "excitement jolt" inside. This makes me want to check and ruminate more and i start to spiral and think well if my body reacts for this and not this then it must be true or if I react more to one image than the other (for example, being more attracted to women then my boyfriend) I don't know if that makes sense at all but does anyone else struggle with this?

Hi all! I have had a variety of OCD themes such as Relationship OCD, Homosexual OCD, Transgender OCD, etc. I have a few experiences that I'm wondering if anyone has been through/can shed light on as well: -I feel as if I have a constant feeling that I need to analyze whether or not I'm 100% happy at any given moment. For example I think: "Am I truly happy? Am I experiencing life the right way? If I look around am I experiencing life with 100% clarity?" -One of my themes is stronger/more persistent than the others. And as such it makes me more fearful that it must be true. My Homosexual OCD was the first to manifest and as such I feel like it has ultimate power over me. I also used to experiment with Gay Porn when I was younger but I never felt it was "serious" nor have relationships with men interested me in real life. But I feel as if I am hyperaware of when I find another male attractive yet the thought of sexual intercourse with them doesn't appeal to me. (I'm in a very lucky and lovely relationship with my Fiancé btw). And I find myself analyzing moments of emotion with her. When I cry over something out of joy with her I feel like a fraud, like I am forcing myself to do so. But I've had genuine moments when I imagine our wedding day together alone in my car, I cry because I'm overcome with joy. -How to properly do ERP exercises. I usually attempt to let my thoughts flow like a stream and try not to attach meaning to them. I also try to force myself to imagine scenarios that are incredibly fearful in an effort to desensitize myself which only makes me feel as if I'm actually starting to like the thoughts and then they become an overwhelming, confusing wave. Thanks so much for reading! I'd love to hear everyone's thoughts and I sincerely love and appreciate your time. I hope we can all be in this together! :)