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the NOCD Community

My entire body hurts. I’m struggling to make friends,my fear of getting rejected holds me back from making friends. I’m so fucking numb I can’t stand it hardly any longer. I have type 1 diabetes that I have to control on top of having untreated ocd. I can’t find a therapist atm that specializes because I can’t fucking afford therapy. I’m pretty sure talk therapy has made ocd worse. I don’t want to live like this. it’s not even me it’s a shell and I hate my life right now.

Have any of you broken up with your s/o due to Rocd, simply for the purpose of relief and then regretted it? I love my boyfriend but sometimes I feel that I would be happier if I wasn’t in a relationship bc of i constantly doubt him and convince myself he is lying. Did any of you experience your Rocd fully go away in a relationship and then a new ocd theme started? I’m also scared that this might happen and my brain will just latch onto something else once he is out of my life.

Hi! I have OCD and am thinking about starting a family. I have been married for a few years (through some pretty sever ROCD) and starting a family has come up more than once. Every time our “this is when we will start” time comes around I have a HUGE spike in OCD including ROCD and OCD around having sex with my husband. I have a history of sexual assault, but that’s another story. ANYWAY…I was wondering if there are any folks on here with OCD and thinking of having children, pregnant, or went through it all with OCD. Really just looking for community and any resources that might have helped you- books etc. I am in therapy and on medication so really looking for anything supplementary. Thanks for reading!

Do you ever find yourself fixating on someone you've only been on one or two dates with? It's been a month since I went out with this person and I don’t even know them, yet my thoughts keep returning to them. I've noticed my rumination is finally starting to decrease, but she remains elevated in my mind, largely due to her looks. I know for a fact it is not love. It’s mostly a state of Limerence, infatuation or just obsession. Anyone else experience this?

i have noticed a significant decrease in my OCD behaviors/etc. after deleting reddit, tiktok, and facebook. it may not be a cure all solution but not being triggered by social media posts in regards to cheating and really any other uncomfortable topics has made me feel a bit better. i figured if it’s helped me some it may help some others!

Anybody relate to having dreams about what they’re obsessing about, like SO-OCD. I just had a dream like that and it was so disturbing. Even in the dream, it felt like I was doing compulsion after compulsion. I’m just tired

My new theme is existential ocd and I was doing okay-ish this week until I saw a tik tok last night about death and after death communication and it sent me on a downwards spiral of needing to constantly research and google what happens when we die again and honestly just makes me feel sad in general about it all because of the uncertainty. I feel so disconnected from everyone and I feel scared to even be alone. I have to work tommorow and feel like crying. Then my relationship ocd added with the already feeling disconnected from everyone makes me scared about what if I don't love my partner or like him and it makes me even more distressed. Im so tired of feeling like this, I've had different themes since I was 7 and I'm so tired of feeling like this. I'm so sad. I had the worst mental breakdown in decemeber and I still don't think I've fully recovered. I'm on new antidepressants but I'm still sad. I feel I'll never enjoy anything because it'll always be clouded by ocd. This is honestly more of a vent post more than anything but ahh im so tired.

does anyone ever struggle with intrusive thoughts and even feelings of your spouse or SO dying suddenly? it’s been a theme for me the past few weeks and i’m not sure what’s causing it. he’s perfectly healthy and fine but it’s been so intense that i’ll just sit there and cry and cry and feel such intense grief.

Anyone ever have anxiety so intense you are on the verge of tears around people? Lately my anxiety has been so debilitating. As soon as I wake up, my ROCD thoughts are racing, until I go to sleep. Honestly, I am getting tired of fighting this anxiety, 24/7. This OCD and anxiety is taking away any pleasure or peace I used to feel. Going on day 7 tomorrow morning. This isn't a life to live at all, nobody knows I'm struggling, not even my girlfriend.

how do i know if something is false attraction or genuine attraction? is there anyway to figure this out?

Dating with OCD was hard, but having broken up with OCD is even worse. I broke up with my ex after he ditched me at a party and accused me of cheating. (I never cheated, I wouldn’t flirt with another guy or cheat whatsoever). He was a consistent liar which I also didn’t like. We were on good terms for a while until two months after we broke up. He stopped talking to me and started pretending I don’t exist. I can’t avoid him because I have to see him everyday, unfortunately. He went out of his way to tell me he’s “seeing” someone. I struggle to let go with things and he was my best friend for two-ish years before we dated for a year. To watch him stop caring about me so quickly has made me miserable. I still care about him but it’s clear he doesn’t care about me. I keep crying and checking things over and over again. It feels uncontrollable. I don’t know how to make this stop. Or how to feel better. I feel so alone and I don’t know how to get over it.

I really hate being forced to socialize with people, specifically family members who genuinely do nothing but gaslight you with their narcissistic behavior. My OCD comes with anxiety.. I never feel like I’m enough, I always have this need to prove I don’t need help because anytime I came across vulnerable, I was treated like I was a problem but I feel like I’m forced to baby feed my own MOTHER who refuses to get help with her OWN OCD. I just can’t rn. I don’t know if I’m venting or having ruminating thoughts about having to mask how I feel when I’m CONSTANTLY feeling like my feelings don’t matter to a person that thinks her feelings are the ONLY ones that are relevant. Someone please read this so I can get a better understanding of how to deal with being overstimulated by being FORCED to socialize in a FAKE environment.

I feel like giving up. I don’t want to but it’s so hard and the only person that can make it better is me. But I’ve given up so many things that are important to me because of my OCD. I’ve isolated myself so much and given up on my dreams because of all this fear. Sometimes I feel like I need to protect everyone else from me and my doubts and insecurities. I feel like I’m hurting everyone or have the potential to let everyone down. I hate this.

so me and my boyfriend just kissed. it was my first kiss and his. i was playing with his hair like putting it in a ponytail then i said “can we kiss” and he’s asked me before and i kinda avoided it because of hocd and rocd. we both went in but didn’t really like pucker or anything and im so embarrassed and i didn’t feel ANYTHING. it was so awkward after and we just said i’m sorry and moved on but like i didn’t feel anything, except anxiety after because i didn’t feel anything. i would just say our lips touched for like a second like nothing even happened. please help me

I have been so stressed and confused as of recently over a guy l've been getting to know and I don't know what to do. I can't trust my own emotions anymore. He's a great guy and as l've been getting to know him I've found that we have a lot of common and he's very sweet, but have so many doubts and feelings that I don't like him. And I'm worried and confused. I don't know what to do. There isn't inherently anything wrong with him in terms of morals and character, he just acts goofy and sometimes dumb. And it makes me think negatively of him and it’s frustrating that I do. It keeps pushing me farther and farther away And I don't want to let these thoughts bug me or overshadow the good things. I'm so confused. I can’t tell if these thoughts and feelings mean I should leave. I don’t want to leave. But now I’m also worried that maybe I just don’t want to leave because I’m scared. I don't want to be irrational about it. I don’t know what to do

I had an argument with my boyfriend 3 months ago, I posted a picture and people were commenting on it and one of the comments was a guy that flirted with me that I completely forgot about. I felt guilty for so long, my inner mind was calling me a cheater and that I’m not worth it. It progressed onto me thinking “do I love him?” And “should I break up with him?”, I cried over the fact that I started to lose myself and being so scared to lose him over my thoughts. I seek for reasurance from online sources (like Reddit), my friends and my mother because I want to believe that it’s just my head that is telling me things and not my actual feelings. My mind keeps on telling me things that I don’t want to hear, I lost feelings that I didn’t want to lose, I lost happiness and comfort and love that I didn’t want to lose but it’s all in my head? I do love him but I don’t feel anything anymore? It’s all confusing. I miss missing him, it makes me feel so bad that I don’t feel the way that I used to anymore. bearing in mind that this is my first healthiest relationship I’ve been in. He’s treated me better than my exes that treated me so poorly. Could this be Depression and anxiety / ROCD? If so does it get better?

i’ve been in a really bad funk for like a week now and i can’t get out of it. my ocd hasn’t been this bad since i started treatment a month ago and i was doing so well and now im really down again and i can see it effecting my relationship w my mom and family again and i feel so hopeless and just really depressed.

Currently going through rocd AGAIN and I keep getting a thought on what if this isn’t rocd and I’m using ocd as an excuse. I hate this thought. I want to feel how I did a week ago. I hate battling this every other month. Any tips on really overcoming ocd because right when I think I do another theme comes along. I can’t live like this forever you guys u simply can’t.

Hi I'm cassi, and I am pretty new to this, and I have been reading all of your stories and shares, and I was hoping this might help me in some way. So I have always been extremely close with my mom, I am 26 and I love our relationship, she is the best mom, but lately I've been having intrusive thoughts and anxiety about how much I rely on her, and what will happen the day she passes, I know thats a long time from now, but all I can think of is what if I have a mental breakdown? What if I can't survive without her in my life? And she knows all of this, she is the main person in my life that I take to about these things with. I was just curious if this has crossed anyone else's mind. I hope everyone is having a good day!

I have another question about moral OCD. For me it affects my partner. I once wrote to a streamer with whom I was regularly in the live streams, a relatively well-known one. It was so moderately “fan” writing. I intentionally “sneaked” myself in so I could become his moderator on his live streams, which was the reason I interacted with him in the first place. There were small talks about life, the live streams (as I said, just so he might use me as his moderator because I'm a fan he knows better and can rely on) and nothing more. Now I feel like I cheated on my boyfriend all the time. Since it concerns my relationship, I'm not sure whether I should confess this or not. I always think to myself that I haven't done anything bad per se and that's how I neutralize it. I'm currently unsure whether this is really a compulsion. Can someone help me with that? :) I feel so much guilt i can‘t do this.. is this OCD?