- Date posted
- 1y ago
false attraction
how do i know if something is false attraction or genuine attraction? is there anyway to figure this out?
how do i know if something is false attraction or genuine attraction? is there anyway to figure this out?
I’m not a psychologist, but the way my psych explained it is it’s all to do with what you want, and usually what you want doesn’t give you obsessive anxiety inducing thoughts. Now that’s problematic for an ocd sufferer, as our brain goes “but what if I do want it?” “Omg does it feel like I want these thoughts?” “I must want these thoughts cos they feel so real?!” And off to the anxiety races we go. Now - what I dare say people will tell you is that you need to somehow be ok with not figuring it out. How do you do that? Stuffed if I know as I’m still trying my best to practice.
@gp exactlyyy. my therapist always tells me that but it’s sm easier said than done.
@gp but what ur psych said helped me so much. ig that’s true, im so worried about being gay and if im that worried about it its probably because im not and its js my ocd
@random26281 I hear you. I have the same thoughts and feelings. It’s like before you had these thoughts you knew who you were and like it/loved it. Now it’s gone from that to just plain anxiety/fear that this change is true. Along with all the other symptoms. It’s really really really hard. Not sure how I’ve survived so long with it.
@gp exactly , i feel so lost and i don’t feel like myself i feel like im playing a role. and for the first time in a while i like a guy and it feels so weird and fake and like im playing a role.
@random26281 Trust yourself, OCD changes our thoughts and feelings. If you like this guy then allow the thoughts to come and then just move on with your day. Thoughts and even feelings aren't facts.
But you have to live with uncertainty. There is no easy way to achieve this. I practice by reminding myself in any way that I really can't be sure of anything. Certainty is a lie. Therefore, live by your values, not your thoughts. Let your values and beliefs guide you. Live with uncertainty because in reality we can never satisfy OCD certainty as it doesn't exist.
I say if you’re not sure just asses what you like about that person sometimes its just limerence or you convincing and putting in patters from other people that arent yours. So just ask yourself what do i like about this person? Are they my type
Ok so I’m a 17 year old female, and I’ve always thought I was straight. But I just really want to know how you would know the difference between so-ocd and actually questioning your sexuality. I have nothing against the LGBTQ community (in fact I am very much a token straight friend, lol) but I saw a video about comp-het recently and it sort of felt like what I was experiencing. I don’t want to be gay, I want to be with men, I want to like men, I’ve always liked men, but now I’m questioning whether or not that’s real? Because people can be gay but not want to be right? I’m single and I always have been. I think women are gorgeous, but when I try to imagine actually having any sort of romantic or sexual relationship with a woman it feels wrong, at least most of the time it does? Sometimes I’m less sure, and I’ve never been particularly boy crazy. I’ve liked maybe 2 or 3 people in my life, (not to say I’ve never found other guys attractive, but it doesn’t seem to be as often as most people) I have no particular reason to be afraid of being gay, very supportive family, safe area ect, but I don’t want to be, does that mean this is ocd, I don’t know what’s going on every time I say I’m straight I feel like I’m lying, but that might just be because I think about it so much. The idea of being with a woman doesn’t feel like something I would want, but is that just because I don’t want to want it? People online say things with so much sureness, if you feel like this it means this. Ect.
I was in this game with this person and I noticed his voice was deep, and his avatar looked attractive to me?? and my brain was like “his voice is so??? And his avatar kinda fine too” like omg, shut up, I’m not taken yet but I still want to be in this relationship with this other guy, I feel like there’s nothing I can do and I’ll always be a cheater, I don’t even know how I feel, like do I actually want to cheat??? And it freaks me out because I don’t even know how I feel? Because sometimes I’ll get a feeling that agrees with it, like I’ll have that feeling that wants me to date them and then I’ll hear something like “yeah I would” / “yeah I agree with that” ,, now I feel like I’ll be a cheater and I’m really scared, I would NEVER cheat, nor would I trade this boy for anything, but I can’t do it. I just need to know what to do.
I keep getting these groinal responses when I think about kids or see one and it's really distressing, I only just learned that OCD can make you feel that and it's not actually attraction but it's so hard to remember that and I've seen people talking about accepting uncertainty but I'm so scared to think "maybe it's attraction maybe it's not" instead of "no it's not attraction that's disgusting" and idk what to do
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