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Hi it’s been a while since I’ve been on here but to those who has real event, have any of you confronted the person about it since they were like involved?

Please someone leave any advice or similar stories. I had identified as bi and then had fears about my sexuality a few years ago, and decided on the term unlabeled to describe my sexuality to anyone who asked and it made me the most comfortable because i was confused about my romantic atraction and sexual attraction towards women vs men. Recently, seemingly triggered by pride month and people discussing comp het, while in a relationship with my boyfriend I have been dealing with fears of wondering if I'm really attracted to men at all or what attraction really feels like and being sexually aroused by explicit images of women I had seen by accident. I am worried that I am experiencing comp het or I'm in the wrong relationship or I'm going to hurt my boyfriend. I have also voiced all of this to him and he is there for me, but that doesn't mean it's easy. I have other anxieties about my relationship and worry if those are ocd related or not as well(such as worrying about limerence) but I'm just so terrified. I feel that just because I have ocd that doesn't mean I can have these experiences that other queer people actually have and it makes me worried that I coukd go years without ever knowing just for one day to know and my whole world to be flipped upside down. I'd rather die than for that to be my reality. Someone please leave advice or tips it's all so appreciated.

Hi! I've been dealing with something that really bothers me,I'm in therapy for it but I end up being sucked up in a loop of thinking about it all the time. I need help. Ok this is the story,I was having ocd thoughts like always " if u do this,this will happen,if you don't do this,ull attack someone" . That day I had a thought about my nephews,that I'll do something inappropriate with them,I was working in the house and I stopped a compulsion earlier and in that second my brain was like " omg what if something happend now" I continued my work yet was like "did something happen? Maybe I went to their house" lol after a while I was analyzing the thought like " what if I do that,would I feel guilty?" I didn't freak out,nothing,that surprised me. Then I feelt like ,wait what if I really do it,what if I snap?like an urge. If I think about it does it mean I will do it cuz I didn't have any negative feelings about it at that time. I started to ruminate and ask myself "what if I test myself and start the car and go to their house to see what I will do" .."I would probably just turn around or say hi but be in total panick and at the end I wouldn't even believe myself if I didn't do anything. I tested myself with the thoughts. And I got such anxiety rush afterwards while I was working in the house as if I might snap and had to be sure that I'm in the moment and remember everything. When I got to the house of my brother,I had anxiety but I didn't fight it,I thought, ah ill feel it,just continue walking,my mind was like trying to endure it and not analize the feelings,I remember I sit on the couch,we were talking,I went up and waited for my sister to get out of the bathroom and I tought to myself " now that I'm in the house,I could go to the kids room but I wont" .like I was analyzing that now that I'm near I wouldn't do it. But damn when I woke up,I feelt horrible, like I really did something, my kind feelt like it has a blockage,and I feelt horrible and guilty until today,that I cannot tell my brain what really happend. I was analyzing my thoughts and testing in my mind how far I would go that i have no idea now what to believe. I'm doin EMDR now for that day,my question is,is ALL THAT OCD? I was afraid afterwards why I didn't feel disgust that day cuyz of my thoughts. And now I'm spiraling,is that also ocd? And what can I do to finally stop the doubt and be sure 100 that nothing happened. Hope someone can relate

Hi everyone. I am new to Nocd. My story: The first time I got intense intrusive thougts of religious ocd is when I was 11 years old. They were very intense. I was ashamed of those thoughts and didn't know what to do with them. I literally didnot tell anyone and suffered alone. It made it hard for me to pray. Over the years it took many forms. I didn't know it was OCD. My mental health deteriorated with waves of depression because of OCD as I got threatened from my OCD thoughts of death of me and my closed ones. They were scary. I also imagined things and felt like seeing things out of fear. These phases of depression brought me down everytime I stood up somehow. Soon I was struck with existential and identity crisis, questioning the meaning of life and existence, nothing seemed valuable and worth it. I questioned my academics and everything. Definetly my grades and health everything deteriorated. It showed in my physical health too. I started having mental fog and questioning reality, my self along with a lot of changes in my life. After class ten, there were suddenly a lot of changes when my mental health was already not okay making it hard for me to adapt. I saw everything blurry and removed. I couldn't connect to anyone. I associated fear to all the things, plus my home. And because I already had so much threatenings of death, I couldn't even recognise the reality. I felt far removed from my reality like I went somewhere far away, a lot of time has passed and there's not much time for me and I struggled with memory too. After 12th, I joined University. One year later, I met a boy with whom I instantly felt sparks. Note: I never dated anyone before and feeling a spark like that with somebody which made me take the step is a lot. I wanted to commit to him but then my ROCD kicked in. I didn't even know about it but I did some mistakes because of it I feel like because ROCD was so intense it made me feel like an emergency to leave the relationship. He had OCD too as he said. He have it in terms of 'perfectionism'. Also he was very sensitive, enraged kind of person, I got to know later on. Had a lot of emotional outbursts making me more question the relationship to leave. We became like an anxious-avoidant couple. I regret many things like what I have avoided if I knew its ROCD and worked on it and so many. He 'abused me. He started abusing me. Idk I started feeling like I made him that kind of a person because he actually compared me with his former gf, with whom he used to even secretly talk. I couldn't get out of the abusive relationship sooner but recently which added extra trauma. Well, here am I 'single' but I feel a lot of guilt and also I need to make my mental health better because this experience made me realise how my bottled up things made an explosion. Thankyou! to whoever reads this! Oh yeah I also deal with a Lott of decision making difficulties, indecisiveness and regret over small things and doings. And also because of my life going like this and getting ruined where there was so many expectations from me, I regret a lot I guess. I think of many possibilities how my life would have gone and always put infront of me possibilities and choices. So I am currently dealing with my thoughts and uncertainty about my future after a Lott of trauma. Oh my god..there is so much

Im not diagnosed, so my situation is more scary :( Today I was in art class, which is really scary to me since because I deal with sexual nasty thoughts, images and urges and we’re all in the same table and that makes us be really tight one to another, and I get really uncomfortable Everything started good, we’re only a few of us and everything was fine and i didn’t have much issue but then a female classmate sits next to me and we start talking, but then idk what came first but i had this thought of me touching her chest inaproppiatly before or after ( i don’t remember) i was talking to my classmate and she answered my question with a nervous tone and the answer was short and, first I didn’t overthink but then i tried asking her more questions and she answered me with the same tone and I got really anxious because why isn’t she answering me? Then she got really frustrated because she didn’t wanted to do her drawing and she was really frustrated all the class so maybe she was answering me weird because of it, and I don’t even know if her answers to me were 100% weird because I haven’t talked to her a lot but I felt like she was ignoring me and now I’m scared that I did do my thought and that I traumatized Then when I had to leave, I complemented her drawing and she just said “yes” so I’m overthinking right now What if it’s true and I traumatized her for life and then she’s gonna acuse me or something even though I don’t know if it’s true aaaaa help

So for about a year now I have been dealing with the uncertainty of a real event that happened decades ago. My mind only tells me the outcome of that event is the worst case scenario. It has been obsessively on my mind for a year, everyday all day. I started seeing the theme or what I was obsessed about everywhere. It got so bad that I thought God was telling me something that I started to ask God to tell me if it was true. Well then I kept seeing signs that confirmed my fear even some that were so exact that on what I was obsessing about I have almost convinced my self that God has been telling me stuff through videos, license plates, phrases or words spelled out in names I see, things I hear in conversations form other people and movies. Then there is the rare occasion I get some type of confirmation that what I’m obsessing about is not true. So I ask myself is God telling me now it’s not true. The signs that say my fear is true seem to be the ones that stick and the ones that say my fear isn’t true seem to just fade away. I’ve never dealt with this before. Anyone else deal with this or seeing signs of your fearful obsession everywhere

I’m deeply in love with my girlfriend who I’ve been with for almost 2 and a half years. Recently I remembered that during the early days of our relationship (first few months), I was still talking in a potentially flirtatious manner with other girls who I had been talking to while I was single. I never had ANY ill-intentions in this behaviour, however my mind has now convinced me that, because I was attracted to these girls I was talking to, I was cheating, and now must confess everything and that will make her breakup with me. I’ve already told her most of the substance of what happened as part of a compulsion, but it’s (obviously) come back more strong, and now I feel like I have to scan my brain for specifics that I’ve done, and that I don’t deserve her

Peanut butter has been one of my go to snacks since I was a kid, I eat it by the spoonful right out of the jar, or I use to. It was around two years ago that the brand I always got had a recall for a possible salmonella outbreak and ever since then I haven't been able to eat peanut butter and it makes me so sad. I can eat things with peanut butter in it, like candy but not just peanut butter. I keep getting jars of peanut butter, determined to get over this fear but I always fail. This time it's extra frustrating. Last week I got another jar and I even look at the old recall notice again and the numbers on my jar aren't listed and not only that but there was never an outbreak, all tests came back negative it said the recall was just a precaution basically but even then I can't bring myself to eat it. It's extra frustrating now because OCD wise I've been doing a lot better in a lot of ways and I thought I was finally getting a grip on things but this all reminded me how crazy and unwell I still am. I keep trying to psych myself up to just eat it and I'll see it's fine and I'm fine but the more I try the worse my anxiety gets it. I think I had salmonella before, or some type of food poisoning and it was so traumatic and scary that a decade later I almost never have a day where I don't think about it. Any advice on how I can overcome this?

What is a healthy way to deal with false memories? Especially very vivid ones? I’ve been feeling relatively anxiety-free over the past few days but it suddenly started again because I got triggered by going on a beautiful date with my partner :( I’m so sad that these happy moments always trigger intrusive thoughts. Essentially, about a year and a half ago, I went to karaoke with my friend group. At one point, I went into the bathroom and a guy in our friend group was waiting to use the bathroom after me. I passed him in the quiet, dark and empty hallway. I remember I had an intrusive thought about making out with him in that moment. It lingered even after I got back from the bathroom. For a year and a half, I didn’t think about that incident at ALL. I have gone through so many cheating ROCD phases since then (even one super recently about 3 weeks ago), but never have I EVER considered that I may have cheated physically in any way (it was always centered around digital/emotional cheating). I know for a fact that if something had happened, there is absolutely NO way that I would have just forgotten about it. Cheating ROCD has been my main theme since I first got with my partner, and I know for a fact that there is no way I would ever cheat on him or trigger that in any way. Well for some random reason, this memory popped into my head. I pictured myself making out with him in the bathroom. I feel sick and panicked. The image of that happening is literally like a nightmare. When I replay it in my head, I start to panic and I feel like vomiting and confessing. I am so terrified now that it may have happened. The thing is, this guy is in our friend group and he was dating my friend at the time. He’s still in my social circle. I feel like I would absolutely know if I had made out with him - socially, *something* would have changed right? We have literally no messages together, no indication of any sort of romantic interaction EVER. I also don’t drink, so I know I was sober when it “happened,” so there is no issue of alcohol potentially clouding my mind. I keep replaying the image of us making out and it’s making me so so sick, physically. The thing is, at the time I remember that I had an intrusive thought about making out with him, and I remember that I deliberately walked past him and kept telling myself that I’m innocent, that nothing happened, and I remember questioning it even from the moment that I walked past him. Why is the memory so vivid? Should I keep replaying it?

One of my first themes came back. I'm again really worried about developing schizophrenia. Everything about it terrifies me to my core. No one in my family has it so I know the chances of me getting it are really low but... I once read that the first symptom someone noticed was they thought bugs were crawling all over their body and now every time I think about this I get itchy and I'm so afraid this might be the start... I don't know how to help myself in this situation. Im so so so scared

I’m too far gone I don’t think I can ever recover that part of me that didn’t constantly worry my brain is now bringing up things that I did when I was a kid I didn’t know any better I really am sorry but I didn’t know what I was doing was wrong I was curious and I shouldn’t have done it

Hi, I’m not new here, and if you’ve seen any other of my posts you’ll know I’m undiagnosed, i don’t know if I have ocd The thing is, I think I’ve struggled with ZOCD (which is super super super horrible, since I’m a super fan animals) since 2022, but since last November it has became so horrible, and the worst part is that I think I have false memories too, so a really bad combination I’ve been working a lot, to the point that I’m not longer afraid of being in the same house as my dog (I was so afraid of it) but I still have some horrible thoughts that I’m gonna do something bad to one, and I have this intrusive images that make me think that this images aren’t imahes but repressed memories (since the images appear the exact moment when I’m for example petting the dog or washing the mares that babysit sometimes) But although that, I thought I was getting better but I have now this fear of impusivy acting on an image and it scares me a lot, but I try to not avoid things because I’m 80% convinced that I have ocd The thing is, today I was at school and I was writing with my black pen, blue pen and my red color and sometimes when I write the ink falls over my fingers, and gets in my nails. After I stoped writing, I and took a long time while packing my stuff in my backpack, and I was leaving my seat of the outside table because it was time to go home and this dog (I’m in Mexico, and sometimes dogs live in the universitys) wanted to greet me, and she was really cute so I pet her as an exposure I think, but then I had to walk past her to get to get to the exit, so I got mentally brave and passed by her side without grabbing both of my hands (I do that when I’m scared of involuntary doing something horrible) , but I got this image of me doing something horrible to her, and i first was like, of course that didn’t happen, but then my mind focused in one finger (I think was the one that I used to close my backpack) and I checked this finger and had like a little purple ink it, and now I’m freaking out because what if the image happen and I did something horrible to her, an the ink isn’t ink but blood or something (even though it seems like ink, since some pens ink turn a little purple when dried and the red color could have helped) but I’m freaking out now, I’m trying to recreate the exact same ink colour on my other nails to make myself sure that it was ink and not something else, the problem is that the pen is not working and I don’t have another pen of that exact brand so I don’t know what else to do I’m scared, and if it where true I could not live anymore, and I’m scared that I didn’t noticed that that hypothetical did happen but that that other people did noticed (if it were true) and they are going to think I’m bad person and I just never know and my life is gonna be a lie or that I’m just in denial AAAAA Please please help me :((

I would like to get an answer for this cause i want to know why this keeps happening. I compare myself with others cause i dont see others having the same problem. When they have a setback its usually because of a hard day or a big trigger, however for me its just forgetting what i have to do. A month ago i was really good, i dont say i didnt had setbacks but i saw that im going somewhere, you know the setbacks were weaker and weaker, and one day i just someone understood how emotions and thoughts works and i was able to enjoy my day while i had thoughts and emotions, but it didnt affected me. Then i was like this is so good, but im afraid i will just forget it like everytime and believe me or not, the moment i said it i felt that im slowly losing what i learned and after some time i didnt know what to do with the thoughts and emotions when before i realized it and i was living my life like that. And then i was unable to do the same thing, it was like my brain deleted it. It really feels like theres something wrong with my mind, how it foegets just like that what i did before? And now after 1 month im still struggling, the videos that used to help me and made me realize what i need to do doesnt help me, its like im watching nothing, my mind doesnt realizez this video made me understand what i need to do before, now it doesnt make me do anything. And im keep falling back to the point that my panic attacks are back, and it makes me feel so bad cause it means i did nothing, after all this work it got back and im still dont know how to deal with it. Im feeling like how i felt 2-3 years ago, like these years were nothing. Im really afraid that sometime i will get the night panic attacks again when i will be afraid that i will hurt myself or be afraid of i will unalive myself... It doesnt seems like im learning something. Look st my other posts, it seemd like im so close to recovery and im learning alot, but now if i read those i cant relate to those... its like a different person and it doesnt started slowly, like i engaged in unhealthy behaviours, it all started when i thought "i hope i wont forget this" and then i actually forgot what i learned... just like that... and now im again questioning acceptance, what to do with my emotions when i understood that and i was working on it. Im sitting in bed and i try to remember what i did when i get these bad emotions and all i can remember is when people say "you have to let yourself feel the feelings" and im letting myself but all i do is im drowning in them. After anxiety it comes anger then anxiety again and then im depressed and hopeless and then panic comes... i dont get why letting these to come helps me, it makes me drown and become depressed which will only send me to a therapist who will say accept it too... It doesnt make me learn anything it just drowns me, i dont get this acceptance and letting myself feel bad... Im just letting negative emotions take over me without trying to stop it cause now im accepting it...and it doesnt makes me realize anything.

Hey guys so I just got broken up with in the last week. I’ve always had really bad ocd and self harm thoughts. When my bf and I moved into together I was so happy and he understood how to help me with my ocd. I didn’t have bad thoughts for the full 8 months we were together! And then we broke up bc I found out a lot of things he was lying about. I’m living back home again, single and all of my bad thoughts and urges are back again, I don’t know how to make it stop. Living with him is the FIRST time I’ve had these thoughts go away. Now everything is bad once again. If anyone has any advice that could help I’d appreciate it.

About a year and a half ago, my friend group went out for karaoke. On the way to the bathroom, in the empty hallway, I passed a guy in my friend group (who had a girlfriend at the time, and I was already with my partner at the time). I remember it was dark, quiet, and empty, and I remember thinking “what if I made out with him right now?” I know I just walked past him and went into the bathroom as normal, but I remember the intrusive thought lingered even after I got back from the bathroom. It made me anxious at the time but I quickly got distracted and moved on. Now for some reason it popped into my head again and I am thinking maybe I did make out with him. However I know this is ridiculous. First of all, if I had actually cheated, there is absolutely no way that I would have just forgotten that and moved on. I know myself and I know I would have anxiously confessed right away. Second of all, the guy is still in our friend group, and there is no way that BOTH of us would have randomly, completely out of the blue, cheated on our partners and have no one find out. I have looked through my very brief messages with that guy, and there is nothing even remotely suspicious. There is no way that we would have just decided to make out all of a sudden without some sort of indication of something in our messages. I know i’m being stupid, but I’m getting so anxious about this that i almost want to message him and ask if anything happened. But I know how incredibly weird and strange and insane that would be. This sucks. False memories suck.

After that triggering dream where the worst thing could have happened, I don't feel legimitated anymore to feel genuinely distressed by triggers, to call compulsions as such. It all feels disingenuous. They don't feel valid anymore. Like crocodile tears. Because the one thing I didn't want to happen probably happened, that undoes everything else. I feel like a hypocrite, to feel distress and worry about those things, being anxious of that particular fear because in that dream it happened. I felt arousal and probably genuine attraction, I'm afraid that I could have agreed with it. Maybe it isn't true, maybe it didn't happen, maybe I'm misinterpreting, but then why I was left with that impression? All because of a damn dream, because ocd, all my triggers intrude even in my sleep, because I can't even be safe in my dreams. This is the worst mental illness.

Me and my long-distance boyfriend are meeting for the first time in 2 days! I'm so excited. I'm also starting to have an ROCD flare up right now. The thoughts aren't flooding in too bad but I can feel it coming. I think the flare up may be related to nerves? But basically, one of my worst themes in 2022 when my OCD was at its worst was ROCD because I was constantly worrying whether or not I had cheated on my boyfriend, every little thing sent me into a state of panic, I started having false memories and sometimes they still feel real to me if I think about them long enough. I’m starting to have a feeling of anxiety and guilt right now, like I don’t deserve to be happy or to even be meeting my sweet boyfriend. I love him more than anything and then thought of hurting him makes me sick, you know? I am resisting the urge to confess all my thoughts and feelings to people I know, because that will just make things worse. I think what I need right now is someone to talk to/relate to. Does anyone else relate? I’m feeling kind of disappointed in myself that it’s been 2 whole years of me suffering on and off with this same theme. And, with my OCD meds that I’m on, I’m gonna have to go off of them when I want to start having babies. Just thinking of that scares me because me and my boyfriend want to get married and have children, but the thought of being unmedicated while I’m pregnant/breastfeeding scares me so bad. I’ve warned my boyfriend that when we have kids I may be a bit delusional while I’m pregnant/off my meds and he told me he would take care of me when that happens. I’m grateful for him, so so grateful.. I’m just feeling like I don’t deserve any of this. My mind wants to go back to that place of ruminating and reassurance-seeking. Although I’ve been free of most of my awful compulsions for a while, my body wants to go back to it, almost like instinct. Sigh. Please pray for me. 🥺

so ive dealt with alot of diferent subtypes so ik this is ocd but i also know regardless what i did was wrong and weird, i feel like I deserve nothing good and i need to confess to everyone that i love and that loves me or else im lying and forcing them to love me underfalse pretences even though im a bad person. okay so confession time, starting at the age of twelve hearing my step sister and her gf have sex any time i heard anyone having sex i “ got off” to it including parents or sybling with their partners. it wasnt to the people it was to the noises but now i feel like its irredemable and wrong. and if they knew theyd feel violated the thing is ive always been a very moral person like obsessed with them so ik if i had the knowledge back then i wouldnt have done it i just didnt see anything wrong with it at the time but now of course it ruin my live

TW saw a traumatizing video of this poor child in gaza and now my head wont stop replaying it. What do i do? its make me sick.

Have you ever been blackout drunk or on any substance that causes you to blackout and your ocd tells you that you did something horrible or something happened to someone and you were there and you were under the influence so your ocd gets triggered and makes you think you did it even though you weren’t having intrusive thoughts at that time in your life?