Welcome to
the NOCD Community

Hi my name is Violetta and I have OCD that prevents me from sleeping because my mind races and I think of things that I can no longer change.

So I have been trying to work out over the past 5 years where my OCD come from and have began to realise that ruminating on where it comes from is actually a compulsion in itself. I believe mine come from having a low self esteem and a lot of stress in my life at that time. I then attended talking therapy to try and understand my feelings and intrusive thoughts and all this did was fuel the OCD further because trying to assign meaning to the thoughts is actually the opposite of what we should do. Does anyone else feel like they know what triggered there OCD?

I have faith in every single one of you. I have had some of the toughest subtype you could ever go through, and I thought my life would be over. I know and understand how hard it is to handle. I still deal with it now, but I can manage it alot better. When they say the only way is through, it's true. You must believe in yourself. OCD only wants control. They should have called it "The Controlling Disorder". Life is unpredictable, unexpected, and especially uncontrollable. Each subtype that we deal with, we feel that we have to have the most control over. When we learn to let go of that control and accept the possibility, not the probability, it does get easier. Stay strong and keep moving forward!

Whenever I am having a bad rumination episode/spiral, I think those around me can tell. I feel like I get distant and irritable. My mom even thinks I am mad at her. It’s awful! I don’t know how to explain what I am experiencing especially with more sensitive topics like POCD.

I finally found the courage to seek a psychiatrist last week, when I got there I was nervous for obvious reasons and felt a bit guilty. I met the doctor and don’t get me wrong he was very nice and knowledgeable in the bigger scope of mental health. Asked me questions of depression, anxiety, if I see things others don’t etc.. However, while we went through the assessment I did not receive a formal “diagnosis” and seemed as though he came to the determination what I have is general anxiety disorder. I don’t disagree, I know I have anxiety! However, when it came to the point where we were wrapping it up I had a “BUT WAIT” moment. I explained I was a part of an OCD community where I had previously been doing therapy to manage OCD. He asked “well why OCD?” I replied, “I have constant thoughts very repetitive thoughts that follow a theme and they are extremely persistent.” It was then I knew I couldn’t let down the walls and go into depth, as I knew he wouldn’t understand. To validate what I already knew, I said “I have constant fears and worries about my children, myself, and religion. I think about these things all day long. In order to free myself from the feeling I have to say a specific phrase or word in my head.” He said “well yea that’s normal to have worries and fears about your family, your religion” and so forth. The feeling of disappointment is an under statement, this is more than just “anxiety” this is something that I struggle with daily and to have a professional discredit my daily fight was off putting. Not his fault, it demonstrates the lack of knowledge for OCD and treatment many of us have to face. Sorry for the rant, sometimes we just have to advocate for ourselves.. 🌸

I feel like I’ve lost who I am , even since my depression and ocd started. I don’t even know what I like anymore:(( I doubt everything I think and it’s so draining because I just want to feel like my old self again😭 I feel like I have no motivation to get better which is bothering me so much because I want too but something is holding me back from doing what I need to do :/ with all my thoughts and doubts , I feel like I can’t trust myself . I don’t know if I’m the only one that feels this much pain

I’m so tired of having ocd I’m tired

I ruminated too much this morning and got distressing mental images (and confirmation) which sent me spiraling again. How do I stop thinking about this and how do I get back to myself? I feel destroyed.

Please share your experiences with ocd lying to you? Please share anything, thank you.

My ocd them has gotten worse and I’m trying my hardest to not look for reassurance. Why does my mind play these tricks on me that I’m saying my thoughts out loud????? I’m trying my hardest to ignore it but it’s making me depressed. When I’m ignoring it my brain will go to “everybody will talk about you” “you said something bad” “you said it out loud and when you’ll live a terrible life”. I don’t know what to do anymore

I feel like it’s just me. But at night when I start to fall asleep, play on my phone, or watch TV; I’ll get major intrusive thoughts and a butt load of anxiety. Has anyone felt the same about this? How have you managed it? It’s getting exhausting and even causes me to sleep-less.

The whole crux of this telling me that I’m a lesbian is because I think women are pretty. I know there is a lot more involved with actually being a lesbian than that. Now the thought what if you’re just bi came into my head. It’s causing some anxiety but at the same time I don’t actually like women. Like I like women as friends, but that’s it. I’ve never liked one as anything more than as a friend. But because of loss of attraction and false attraction I find like every woman beautiful and my thoughts are like, see I told you so. Yes, my anxiety is down. Yes, I know these are just thoughts. But sometimes I still get freaked out. Like even putting all this int existence on here I can see how silly this all sounds and how OCD this all sounds. Does anyone else identify with this in anyway? I just want to know I’m not alone.

My biggest is ruminating, i talk and talk and over share with myself and others Like what are some exposures?

I'm 15 turning 16 soon and I'm 100 percent convinced I have ocd.. I have been having major symptoms since I was 13, the constant what ifs, rumination, compulsions, guilt, anxiety from intrusive thoughts. I tried to open up about it to my parents when i was 13 but they dismissed it cause they don't believe in mental health.. I really want to get better. My parents won't listen to me and I don't wanna tell a teacher at school cause that would make things worse as they would just tell my parents and obviously since I'm 15 I can't afford therapy.. I don't know what to do :(

Have you ever been through Very bad thoughts about your brain wants to twist anything about good or bad like evil and good which is god and sat*n and panicking because you believe In god but your brain is messing with you have you ever felt like you're afraid you had commit blasmphy in your thoughts It's very bad thoughts like omg where does these toughts come from?? Please tell me your experience One moment I feel okay and I can pray and vent to god and other moment I'm so ashamed of myself for thinking like that Am I alone in this am I crazy?

Another way to describe it is a loss of ability to let uncomfortable thoughts flow through our minds. It's like a fire alarm going off in our heads and an urgency to work out what these thoughts mean and what we can do about them and it's the exact reason why going to talk therapy is the worst thing that someone with OCD can do.

I believe this to be true. I could check my door a hundred times a day, it didn't help. I would want to check even more because I never trusted my checks....i didn't realise my repeated checking was playing into this. I thought it was helping funnily enough it was doing the opposite and making me doubt even more.

I’m thinking about doing erp but my ocd is so severe the thought of accepting my fears happening to me makes me sick to my stomach. I also believe in the power of my words and saying I accept this Bad thing will attract it into my life. I’m not sure what I should do🥲

I have disturbing thoughts. I am very upset. Someone please help me. Please talk to me.

My son has Pure O religious/scrupulosity with GAD and Bipolar. My son was diagnosed with Pure O religious OCD two years ago. He has to complete a task so that God doesn’t send him to hell if he doesn’t do it. These tasks are dangerous like doing multiple back flips on concrete, or jumping off balconies three times, doing MMA slams on his back three times. The thoughts are telling him if he doesn’t do this he will go to hell. Or he is so worried about blaspheming the holy spirt and loose his salvation. He knows this is his OCD. He knows the scripture and that God is one of peace and love. Been there and done that on quoting scripture and reminding him he is saved. I can see the torture he is going through and it is painful to watch. He also needs to be stuck next to me at all times cuz it makes him feel safe. This is impeding on my life as I feel I have a toddler again, he is 24 and a former 4 star football player. He wants this to stop, he is in therapy and working on it. He was free from these thoughts from November 2023 till April 2025. He is dealing with narcissistic trauma with his father and this triggers the OCD. My question is what can I do to support and help him through these episodes and not agitate him and to help him heal?