Finally went to see a Psychiatrist

Some background: I’m a woman in my 30s who’s been struggling to find the right diagnosis for years. Since 2022, I’ve had multiple psych hospital stays, and with each stay came a different diagnosis and different sets of medications: Bipolar II, CPTSD, MDD with psychotic features, “high functioning BPD,” and most recently, Schizoaffective Disorder (depressive type). Before all of that happened, I had been seeing a therapist for CPTSD and AuDHD traits for 2 years, but after they left the practice, I struggled to find someone I trusted again. Most of my breakdowns happened during my last relationship. Looking back, I was in survival mode with them, leaving who *I* am behind. I got to the point where I started doubting my own reality from the abuse. This eventually added up and landed me in my first episode of psychosis. That combined with my attempts is what got me my schizoaffective diagnosis. After finally leaving that relationship 1.5 years ago, I’ve slowly rebuilt my life: new town, new job, new friends. Many of my old symptoms (major ones) haven’t returned, which makes me believe I may have been misdiagnosed due to reliving past childhood trauma and stress responses from the abuse. Through all of this, I’ve felt like nothing ever truly fit. I journal, I reflect, I replay the recordings and I’ve even watched old vlogs –the puzzle pieces still don’t come together. It’s left me feeling like I’ll never really know what’s going on, and I’ve started to fear that my diagnoses will just keep stacking up without ever leading to effective treatment. Recently, I opened up to a friend about this. She mentioned that her neighbor went through something similar not exactly like me but she thought it would give me a starting point—multiple diagnoses that never felt right—until a new doctor finally identified it as OCD. That one diagnosis changed everything for her. It made me realize I really don’t know much about OCD beyond the stereotypes. I didn’t know OCD could involve intrusive thoughts, rumination, or mental compulsions. My friend encouraged me to look into it, especially as I start searching for a new therapist. Facebook and Google lead me here… So now I’m wondering: could OCD be a better explanation for what I’ve been experiencing all these years? Questions for the community: 1. What steps did you take to find out if OCD was what you were dealing with? 2. If you had a long history of misdiagnoses, how did you finally find a clinician who got it right? 3. How did you advocate for yourself when people dismissed your concerns? 4. Is there anything you wish you had done earlier in your OCD journey? Thank you so much if you made it this far. I’m really grateful for this space and just want to start finding answers and the right kind of help.

I’m kind of frustrated because for YEARS I’ve been trying to express my concerns. For about 6-7 years I’ve been concerned about having OCD. I’m not diagnosed and I want to talk to a professional to confirm whether or not I have it. I have been struggling with several symptoms over many years of my life and it has been absolutely distressing. I’ve expressed my concerns to two doctors. One of them pretended like they didn’t hear me and the other did give me scenarios that I experience. When I said yes to the ones that applied to me, she said “well it’s very normal for people to wash their hands a lot and check door locks” well yeah but what I experience is so much more than that and it’s been absolutely horrendous. I have super bad compulsions and intrusive thoughts, at some point I broke a TV because I felt like I had to throw these little coasters at it for 5 times. And then after those 5 times, the way I threw it didn’t feel right, so I had to do it again and again until it felt right and then it broke :/ The doctor later told me that they can recommend me to professionals but my mom didn’t want me to because of fear that I can get medicated. But I just want to talk to a professional to be able to express my concerns about it. I also feel bad about talking about what I experience because I don’t want people to think that I’m trying to self diagnose myself. I just want to be able to recognize my struggles and try to overcome what I go through. All I want is help. At some point I went to therapy and I had three sessions and then my mom pulled me out. But in those sessions I haven’t talked about my struggles with OCD yet, I was talking about other issues and my therapist was still trying to get to know me. :( Sometimes when I’ve talked to my parents they don’t really try to listen. Sometimes they tell me “well everyone has a little bit of OCD”. Okay, well I’m not talking about everyone, I’m talking about ME. And back when I struggled so much with violent intrusive thoughts, it was also a time where I felt like I HAD to tell my parents about every thought that I had. And my parents were concerned and thought that I was just in general violent. But I’m not violent, I don’t believe these things. And they STILL don’t want to hear me out on my concerns after all of that. I just want to feel validated with what I go through. I am convinced that I struggle with OCD, but I want to be SURE. I don’t want to feel like I’m self diagnosing. I want to KNOW what I’ve been experiencing all these years. I really do like this app because I feel like I finally relate to other people and that I can REALLY talk about my struggles while being understood. Whether or not if I do have it, I feel really understood and I really understand and relate with others. But anyways I hope I can figure this whole thing out one day😓🙏

Has anyone had horrific experiences with seeing a psychiatrist? This past week I had my initial appointment with a new psychiatrist. When we approached the topic of my prior OCD diagnosis, she asked me what it looks like. I told her all about my ROCD and harm OCD. At the end when we went over what she was diagnosing me with, she said that all of the OCD examples I gave her but one just sounded like generalized anxiety. The one she agreed on she said was “classic OCD behavior”. I talked the whole interaction over with my therapist and we approached the situation of if I should switch or if I could use this opportunity to push this psychiatrist to learn more about OCD and that compulsions aren’t just strictly external. After some deep thought I came to the conclusion that if I can help advocate for myself and potentially help someone not experience the same dismissal it would be worth it. Has anyone else had a situation where they felt dismissed or not seen by a psychiatrist? Did you stay with that provider and advocate for yourself? I would love to hear others experiences and any advice you may have when advocating for myself. PS I don’t believe her bc she didn’t do any sort of assessment on me and just made that assumption based off “what my OCD looks like”.